


A Shot in the Dark

by darkrose705



Series: A Shot in the Dark [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-11-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 12:36:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 87,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1744862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkrose705/pseuds/darkrose705
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riley Thomas has everything she needs in life (although her parents disagree). She has her friends and a job to help her get by. She was happy with the way things are going. She didn't want a relationship or love. Until James Ryan Haywood came along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Smug Bastard

**Author's Note:**

> My friend is a major Ryan fan! So I wrote this for her and decided to post it. I'm having a few uploading problems so if something seems missing or off, I'm trying to fix it. Enjoy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley's friend, Olivia, manages to get them into a Rooster Teeth tour! As exciting a the tour is. Riley would have never guessed that her life would change after meeting (what she considers) her celebrity crush.

The door bell rings. I lay in bed, not wanting to move. The doorbell rings a second time. I curl up under my covers. There's no point in waking up. It's my day off and I just want to sleep. There's a pound at the door, followed by the bell ringing again. "Go away!" I shout. The bell rings again. "Jesus Christ.." I grumble as I sit up.

I stumble from my bed room to my living room. I rip open the the front door to my apartment. My best friend, Olivia, stood at the doorway. "What?" I growl at her.

"Riley, Why are you so grouchy?" She furrows her eyebrow.

"I'm not a morning person like you." I mumble.

"It's 3 P.M." She crosses her arms.

"Yeah, well, ya' know..." I shrug.

"Well, whatever, get dressed! I have a surprise for you!" Her blue eyes gleam.

"No fucking surprises. Where are we going?" I demand.

"Come on! Get dressed! We're going to be late!" She whines.

"Okay, get in here." I roll my eyes.

"You're going to love me." She sings as I walk in my room to get dressed. I hear her heels clack against the wooden floor boards.

"Yeah? We'll see about that." I call back to her. "Can I at least have a hint?"

"Nuh, uh!"

I sigh and throw on a pair of blue jeans and my red t-shirt. I look in my mirror. My glasses mask over my emerald green eyes. I have bags under my eyes. I didn't get enough sleep last night. I didn't feel like putting on make up and I didn't feel like doing anything with my strawberry blonde hair, so I just tied it up in a ponytail. I walk out to the living room. "Let's go." I say, lacing up my black Converse.

"You're going to love me." Olivia repeats as I followed her to her car. I studied Olivia's appearance. She wore a short light pink dress with matching heels. Her blue eyes were highlighted with eyeliner, mascara and white shimmery eye shadow. Her cheeks were blushed. Of course, this was her everyday look. She looks like a model on a daily basis. I look like a bum that just rolled out of bed compared to her. Well, technically, I did just roll out of bed. Usually, I don't care, but since I don't know where we are heading, I'm starting feeling a little self conscious today. For all I know, she could drag me to a club or something. I silently curse at myself for being lazy. I should've dressed up a little. I should've at least put in my contacts.

"I already do love you." I jump into the front seat. "I would love you more if you just told me what this was about."

"Hush. You'll ruin the surprise." She globs on a layer of lip gloss before backing out of the parking lot. Her perfectly highlighted blonde hair whips around in the wind.

I pull out my Iphone and start checking my email. There are seven unread messages from my mother. All of them are links.

"So my mom is sending me more online applications for colleges." I snort.

"Ugh. Really? You quit school for a reason. Doesn't she understand that?" Olivia scoffs.

"I didn't quit. I got my associates and decided not to continue. Oh, wait, one of these links is for a job application!" I say with fake enthusiasm. "I have a fucking job! What the hell does she want from me?"I rant.

"Just tell her to stop. Tell her that you're twenty two years old and you don't need her bossing you around." Olivia says firmly.

"Can't," I shake my head. "I'll never hear the end of it if I say that."

"Parents are so annoying." Olivia rolls her eyes.

"Says the girl whose parents bought her a convertible for her birthday." I roll my eyes. "Do you realize how long it took them to save up for this car? Just because you wanted to feel rich." I scold.

"Alright, alright. My parents are kinda cool." She says, in an unenthusiastic tone.

"No, not kinda. They are cool. Their only downside is that they spoil you. I'll trade parents with you any day. And I wouldn't take advantage of them the way you do."

"Why are you being so mean?" She pouts. "I don't know why we're still friends."

"Because I'm the one who keeps your spoiled ass in check when you need it." I remind her.

"True," She grins. "But you still love my spoiled ass."

"You're alright to hang out with, I guess." I laugh. "So are we there yet or what?" I ask.

"Patience, my dear." She smirks.

I start looking around the area. "Did you know that the Rooster Teeth building is nearby?" I say. She bites her lip. "That's where we're going, aren't we?!" I break out in a huge grin.  
"Grah! It was suppose to be a surprise! Way to ruin it!" She groans. "I called and got us in one of the tour groups."

"Ohhhhhh my gosh! I LOVE YOU!" I scream and wrap my arms around her neck.

"I told you! Now get off, I'm trying to drive." She waves me off.

"You know you didn't have to. I know you have no interest in stuff like this."

"Yeah, I know, but you do. And I wanted to do something that you would enjoy. I know you practically worship these people, so I figured I could get the tour, you would be happy and I'll finally see what the big deal is about this place." She explains.

"Thank you so much!" I can feel myself bouncing in my seat.

"I don't think I've ever seen you so excited." Olivia raises an eyebrow.

"Not true. You saw me when they announced the new PS4. I literally called everyone over that day and threw a party for it!" I pointed out.

"Oh, is that what it was for? I remember. That was a great party. Sorry about the puke on your carpet, though."

"It's okay, they needed to be cleaned, anyway." I shrug. "Yeah, that was PS4 hype for me."

I spot the 636 building as we turn the corner. "That's it!" I shout, pointing at the building.

"I know, I know!" Olivia laughs as she pulls in the parking lot. "God, you are just like a kid seeing Disneyland for the first time."

"Nah, this is better than Disneyland." I say, stepping out of the car. "Letsgoletsgoletsgo!" I rush my words as I grab her hand, dragging my friend behind me.  
"Slow down! I can only go so fast in heels!

In the front lobby, a group of five people stands, waiting for the tour to begin. The room is buzzing with excitement.

"If I knew we were coming here, I would've wore an Achievement Hunter shirt!" I whine.

"You look fine." She insists. "Stop worrying."

Kara sat at the front desk, waiting to get the tour started.

"Livy, Livy," I hit my friend's arm. "See that blonde over there? That's Kara Eberle!"

"I told you not to call me Livy. It reminds me of liver. Now, what's so special about her?"

"You know that show I watch?"

"Purple Vs. Green?"

"No, you mean Red Vs. Blue, you dope. But that's not what I'm talking about. The other one. RWBY. She's the voice actress of Weiss." I explain. Olivia gives me a blank stare. "She's the one you called the pretty white ice princess." I say in a monotone voice.

"OH! Her! I love that character!" She shouts. "Let's go say hi."

"WHAT? We can't do that!"

"Why not? She's just right there! No one is talking to her! Why are you being so shy? This isn't like you!" Olivia pulls at my arm.

"This is different. This is like a sacred domain." I explain. "I can't say or do something stupid."

"You're being ridiculous." She rolls her eyes. "I'm going to introduce myself. You can stay here if you want. I have to check in, anyway." Olivia starts walking towards Kara.

"Wait!" I whine as I follow her. I'm not usually this dependent on her, but this is Rooster Teeth we're talking about. I'm lacking serious confidence here.

"Hello!" Olivia says, catching Kara's attention. "I'm checking in. There should be two names. Olivia and Riley."

 

"Hi!" Kara smiles and crosses off our names on a list. "We are still waiting on a few people, if they aren't here in a couple of minutes, we will start the tour. I'm Kara."

"Nice to meet you! My friend, Riley, is a huge fan of RWBY." Olivia nudges me forward.

 

Okay, have confidence. She's just a human being. "Hi," I gulp. "Like my friend said, I'm a huge fan of RWBY. And Red Vs. Blue. And the RT Shorts. And pretty much everything Rooster Teeth puts out." I ramble.

Kara smiles. "I'm glad you were able to make the tour. We are happy to meet all of our fans."

Olivia hands me my autograph book.I give her a puzzled look. "When did you-"

"I grabbed it off your bookshelf while you were getting dressed. I figured you would want this. I know you saved this notebook for when you got to meet Rooster Teeth." She interrupts.

"Uh, Kara," I hold out the book. "I hate to sound like a total nerd, but can I have your autograph?"

Kara looks surprised. "You know, you would think I should be used to stuff like this, but I still get flustered when a fan asks for my autograph." She signs. "It makes me super happy to know I have fans. Thanks for making my day!" She says, sounding excited.

"No! Thank you for being awesome!" I say equally as excited. "You do an amazing job with Weiss!"

"Aww!" She blushes. "We are going to start the tour now. I'll talk to you guys afterwards!" Kara stands from her desk and goes towards the front of the room.

"That. Was. Epic." I hug my autograph notebook close to my chest.

"And you were too nervous. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have talked to her." Olivia gloats.

"Shut up," I say, still smiling. "Let's keep up with the group. They're going into the Achievement Hunter office first!"

"Is that the group of guys you watch all the time?"

"Yeah! Maybe we can meet them!"

Since the office is so cramped, we can't all go in. Everyone tries to crowds around the door, making sure each person can see. Kara is explaining what role Achievement Hunter plays at Rooster Teeth.

 

"Over there in the back far corner is Geoff," I lean over and whisper to Olivia. "Next to him is Jack, the one closest to the door is Gavin, then Michael, and lastly, there's Ray."

"That one by the door, he's a cutie." Olivia wiggles her eye brow.

"That's Gavin. I knew you would think that." I shook my head.

"Is he single?" She asks.

"Yeah."

"He won't be by the end of the day." She giggles.

"Stop that." I roll my eyes.

"Anyone else feel like they're in a fish tank?" Ray jokes, thinking no one hears him. The tour groups laughs. "Oh, you heard me. Hi, everyone!"

Geoff doesn't take his eyes off his screen. "We would stop and talk with everyone, but we are recording right now." Geoff explains. "If everyone wants to swing by later, we should be done by then."

Kara shows us the Tech office with Gus and Barbara, then leads us to the warehouse, where they record, animate, and edit. Kara introduces the crew. They stop editing and get up to speak with the tour group. Including Ryan. The one and only James Ryan Haywood.

"Ryan is also in Achievement Hunter." I whisper to Olivia.

"Then why is he in here?"

"Hello? Did you see that office? There's no room! Now if you'll excuse me, I have autographs to get." I say as I make my way to Lindsay. "Hi, I hate to be a bother, but could I get autographs from everyone?" I ask bluntly.

"I love this girl! We were talking a little bit before the tour and she pretty much watches everything we put out. I got to sign first." Kara brags.

The notebook got passed around. "What's your name?" Lindsay asks.

"I'm Riley." I smile, shaking Lindsay's hand.

"That's a very masculine name." Ryan mutters under his breath as he signs.

I start to feel embarrassed about my name "That's on purpose. My mom wanted me to have a unique name." I mumble. It comes off as defensive but I wasn't trying to be. My natural response to embarrassment is to act defensive.

"Oh," He says a little flustered. "I really didn't think you heard me. I wasn't trying to offend-"

"Riley can be a girl's name. My cousin's name is Riley. And she's a girl." Kara argued.

 

"I didn't say it wasn't a girl's name. I just said it was masculine. Which it is!" He defends.

 

"So, Riley," Lindsay says, breaking the discussion. "Are you a gamer?"

Yes! Promotion time! "Yeah, I'm a huge gamer. For anyone that's interested, I stream my gaming on Twitch every week."

"Oh, can I get your user name?" A person in the tour group says.

"Yeah, same!" says another.

"Just pass it out to everyone. You know you want to." Olivia rolls her eyes. I know how annoyed she gets when I bring up my stream.

I break out my pen. "No one minds if I write on their hands, right? It saves trees this way." The tour shook their heads and I started writing my Twitch user name on their hands.

"It's RileyPlays5943. I usually stream on Fridays at 6 but I have a day off of work today so I'm doing a special stream tonight at 7."

Kara holds out her fist. "I want to support my fan! I know I will forget so could you write it on me, too?"

"Sure." I write it on her hand. In the corner of my eye, I see Ryan hold out his fist. I stare at his hand. "No." I tease.

"Aww, come on!" He smiles. "I accidentally insulted you. How am I going to make it up to you?"

"I guess you won't." I shrug.

"Let's move on to another room," Kara starts leading us out of the warehouse. I look back. The crew is returning to work. Ryan is still standing, focused on me. Or that might just be in my head. He could be looking at the group as a whole.

"You were totally flirting." Olivia snaps me out of my thought. "You would look so good with him!"

"Olivia, I'm not interested in dating right now. Besides, he's way older than me!"

"How old is he?"

"Thirty three."

"It's only a few years." She flicks her wrist.

"That's eleven years. He would never be interested in a child. Now can we drop it?" I beg.

"Fine." She throws up her hands. "But we do need to get you a man."

"I don't need anyone. I have you. That's all I need." I smile.

"Honey, I can't help you with anything sexual. I don't swing that way." Olivia shakes her head.

"I didn't mean that, stupid." I roll my eyes.

"This is the break room," Kara leads us into a small kitchen area. "This is where we eat, store food, you know. Normal break time stuff. It's not that interesting."

"Sorry, coming through," A voice from the back of the group says. "Just coming to get some coffee." The person makes his way to the front of the group. It's Ryan. "Oh, the tour group. I had no idea you guys were coming here next." He says. He looks at me even though he was addressing the group. "Kara," He says, turning his attention to Kara. "Let me help give the tour."

"Don't you have work to do?" Kara playfully snaps.

"Nah, I think I found this group more interesting." He says. He looks at me in the corner of his eye. I feel myself begin to blush.

"I'm not going to stop you. I'm not the one who's going to get in trouble." Kara shrugs and continues with the tour.

"Hello again, Riley." Ryan walks beside me.

"Hello, Ryan." I say, sounding bored (just to mess with him).

"I don't think you're being very fair." Ryan begins.

"How so?" I walk a little further ahead.

He catches up. "If I don't watch your stream, that's one less viewer for you."

"What's your point?" I ask.

He shrugs. "I'm just trying to help a fan out. I like video games. I mean, clearly, I play games for a living."

"I know. I love watching Achievement Hunter vids." I admit.

"Well, if you get to watch me, why can't I watch you?" He smirks.

"Oooo, you can feel the sexual tension in the air." Olivia says under her breath. I almost forgot Olivia was with me. I make a mental note to kill her later.

"Because it's part of your job. I stream as a hobby. I can choose to tell you or not." I stick out my tongue.

"I suppose. But you can't stop me from finding it out on my own." Ryan chuckles.

"True. I can't."

"Soooooo," Olivia cuts in. "I'm Olivia. I'm Riley's friend."

"Hi, nice to meet you." He nods.

Some guy in the tour group distracts Ryan with a question.

"You are so into him." Olivia says with a smug look.

"Am not." I hiss. "We are just talking."

"I bet he likes you, too."

"Olivia, he's thirty three years old. I don't think he's at the stage in his life where he wants to flirt with people like that. He was being friendly." I mumble. "Besides, we just met. He barely knows me."

Does the thought sound appealing? Of course it does. Out of all the Achievement Hunters, I always liked Ryan the best. But it's just a celebrity crush. It's nothing that should be taken seriously. I don't know the real him. I only know how he acts on camera. For all I know, it's fake. Besides, I'm perfectly fine with being single. Being in a relationship messes things up.

I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around. It's (guess who) Ryan. "May I help you?" I cross my arms.

He tugs my autograph book out of my hands. "I forgot to sign."

"You're an idiot." I shake my head."

"Heh..." He smirks as he scribbles on the page.

"What?" I ask.

He smiles and returns my book. "You'll see." Ryan walks up front with Kara to help with the tour.

"Flirting." Olivia whispers. I shake my head and ignore her the rest of the tour.

After the tour ended, the group began to leave.

"Hey, Riley, Olivia," Kara stops us on our way out. "Honestly, you two were the most interesting in the group. Don't get me wrong! I love all of our fans, but the tour would've been awkward without you guys."

"I'm glad we could help. And thank you for giving us a great tour." I nod. "It was nice meeting everyone. And I think I got mostly every one to sign."

"Well," Ryan cuts in. "You know where the office is. You could always stop by and visit any time. We won't charge you for a tour."

"We might take you up on that offer." Olivia responds before I could say anything. She begins pulling on my arm. "Bye, everyone!" She sings as she drags me to the car.

Kara waves and walks back into the building. Ryan still stands outside.

"Bye, Ryan." I wave.

"See you soon." He nods and waves and heads back in the building.

"Smug bastard." I mumble.

"What is your problem?" Olivia unlocks her car.

"Did you hear him? "See you soon." He's so sure of himself. How does he know I'm coming back?" I mumble. I feel a blush sweep across my face.

"Because you will be back to see him because you like him." She teases.

"Just fucking drive." I growl. I am so beyond denying anything right now. "Thank you for taking me. This was really fun."

"No problem. It was actually pretty fun. You know, these people aren't that bad. Maybe I should start watching some of their stuff."

I start flipping through all my autographs. I stop at Ryan's. There's a phone number and scribbled in his handwriting, it read:

_James Ryan Haywood (By the way, I did sign earlier. I was just leaving my number. Who's the idiot now?)_

It's still you, Ryan. It's still you.

"You smug bastard..." I mumble to myself, smiling at his signature.


	2. Happy Birthday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Isaac's (Riley's brother) Birthday. Riley holds a special Twitch stream just for him. Little does she know a special guest is watching in on the stream.

"You better call him." Olivia threatens as I get out of the car.

"How did you know he gave me his number?"

"I peeked over while we were at a stop light. You focused on that page the entire car ride. You better call. And I expect details."

"Yeah sure." I say with sarcasm. I close the car door and head into my apartment before she could argue.

I set my autograph book on the couch. I turn on my Xbox 360 and start rummaging through my games. "Hmm... I need to replay that... But I still need to finish this... But in this game I think I know how to get unstuck..." I mutter to myself as I decide what to play. I finally give up and start playing Minecraft.

I keep eyeing the autograph book. Calling wouldn't be a bad idea. Ryan seems like a nice guy. For a friend. Yeah, friend. We can be friends. It doesn't have to go beyond that.

I flip open to Ryan's page. And begin dialing the number. I stare at the page. What if it's a fake number? I hang up the phone before it rings. Instead, I begin to set up my stream.

"Hey, guys! Welcome to a special stream! I'd like to give a shout out to my big bro! It's his Birthday today so Happy Birthday, Isaac!"I say as the stream begins. The comment section begins to come alive.

_Hi._

_Hi, Riley!_

_How old is he?_

_Yes! I have been look forward to watching this all day :)_

_Riley, can I get a shout out?_

_Happy Birthday, Isaac!_

_Riley, you should stream with your brother one day!_

I stop looking at the comment section after that comment. "So, for his Birthday, I'm going to stream Isaac's favorite game, Halo.I'll do story mode. Now, I'm warning everyone, I've never played this game so I will suck at it. Bear with me, please." I chuckle. I start up the game. "I'm going to probably play through the first two or three chapters. Does Halo have chapters or what? I have no idea. Chapters, levels, stages, whatever the fuck they have." I skim through the comments. People are just poking fun for me not knowing what to call the chapters or levels.

My phone begins to vibrate. I view the message.

_Olivia: I'm watching your stream. I won't know what's going on, but I wouldn't miss this one for the world._

"My friend is watching the stream right now, guys." I announce. "Thanks for your support, Livy."

I get a another text a view moments later.

_Olivia: You called me Livy on air. I'm going to kill you lol_

I chuckle and continue playing, occasionally glancing at the comment section.

"So, guys, let me tell you about my day." I begin. "I took a tour at the Rooster Teeth office. It was- ah, fuck I just died- pretty fucking sweet. I definitely recommend going if you live in Austin or you just happen to be in the neighborhood. I have my friend to thank to that. Cheers, Livy."

The comments started flooding in.

_Lucky! Who did you meet?_

_We should make that a hashtag. #CheersLivy_

_#CheersLivy2014_

"Great idea guys! Let's try and get hash tag Cheers Livy to trend. I'm counting on you guys!" I can only imagine the horrified look on Olivia's face right now.

Speak of the Devil, Olivia sends a text.

_Olivia: You bitch._

I stifle a laugh and continue my game play. "You know, why limit myself to just three levels? I'm going to play until I can't feel my arms!"

I check the comment section.

_It's Kara! I told you I would watch the stream! Lindsay's watching with me!_

"Hi, Kara and Lindsay!" I smile. "If it's not really you two, then hello impersonators."

_Come by the office tomorrow!_

"I'll stop by." I promise them. Then I can see if it was really them. If I show up and they have no idea what I'm talking about, then that will clear it up.

One comment catches my attention. One. Fucking. Comment.

_I'm still waiting on that call._

I look at the user name. It's a guest user under the name RyanTheTwit. The same as Ryan's Twitter account. Nah. It can't be him. It's not him. That has to be a user pretending to be him. Olivia sends another text.

_Olivia: Dude. Ryan. That's Ryan. End the stream and call him. Now._

I ignore her message. There's no was I'm cutting this special live stream early. I will call him after I finish this stream.

Ryan's message soon was masked over by hundreds of comments. "Hey, we reached 700 viewers today! That's not too bad for a last minute stream. Thanks so much, guys. I'm feelin' the love." I grin at the camera.

After a few hours of Halo (And a few "Where's my call?" "I'm still waiting." comments from Ryan), I start wrapping up. "It's been fun guys. I will still be live streaming this Friday. So yay! Aren't you all special?! You get two streams in one week! I will see you all at Friday at 7. Happy Birthday, Isaac!" I wave goodbye and cut the stream. Olivia texts.

_Olivia: Call. Him. Now._

I sigh and start dialing the number. I listen to the rings. Maybe he won't answer.

"Hello?"

Well, there goes that. "Hi. It's Riley. Uh, is this Ryan?"

"Yeah, Hi." He replies. "I caught most of your stream. Didn't see the beginning." Ryan admits.

"You didn't miss much." I assure him. What do I talk about? I barely talk on the phone. I'm a texter. Why didn't I just text him?

"So at the end of your stream, you wished someone a Happy Birthday. A viewer?" He asks.

"You could say that," I say. "It's my brother's Birthday."

"Oh." He sounds relieved.

"Jealous, are we?"

"Me? I was just curious. Do I really strike you as the jealous type?" He laughs.

"I don't know. There is a reason they call you the Mad King, right?" I tease. This is easier than I thought.

"I'm the Mad King because I'm insane. Jealousy has nothing to do with it." Ryan states in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Oh, I feel safe now. You're insane, but it's okay because you're not jealous." I giggle.

"Haha! I guess that didn't help, did it?"

"So, is there a reason you wanted me to call?" I ask.

"I'm kind of old school." He explains. "I like talking on the phone. You can hear the other persons voice. You can gauge a response based on a person's voice. Instead of being confused over text. Have you ever had a misunderstanding over text-"

I cut him off. "No, I mean, why did you want me to contact you. I'm a complete stranger."

"I find you... interesting." He says after a pause.

"I think you're interesting, too." I say.

"You know, you should come by the office tomorrow," He offers. "Are you off tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I was going to come by and talk to Kara and Lindsay."

"Not me?"

"Why would I come see you?" I say, playing hard to get.

"Because you said it yourself. You think I'm interesting." He says with pride.

"You said it first."

"And I'm not denying that I want to see you." He responds. "Because I do what to see you again."

I pause. "...We'll see."

"No," He says. "I will see you tomorrow. I have no doubt about that."

I roll my eyes. "I should get going. I need some sleep after that stream."

"Goodnight." He says.

"Goodnight." I hang up and text Olivia.

_Riley: I called him. Happy?_

Before my phone could leave my hand, Olivia calls. I answer.

"Details!" She shouts.

"We were just talking the conversation literally lasted no more than five minutes." I walk into my room and flop on my bed.

"It's a start!" She gushes. "Are you going to call him tomorrow?"

"God, why in the hell would I do that?" I sit back up. "I barely know this guy! I'm not going to call him everyday like we're together or something."

"Why do I get the impression that you don't want to go out with him?" I can feel Olivia glaring at me through the phone.

"Because I don't." I sigh. "Relationships are a hassle. I don't need that in my life right now." I explain. "And he's probably not interested in me anyway."

_" I find you interesting."_  Ryan's words echo in my head. I ignore it.

"So Kara told you to come by the office tomorrow. Are you going?" She asks.

"You read the comments, too? No, I don't think I will."

"You're going. I'm picking you up tomorrow to make sure you go." She insists.

Once Olivia decides something, there's no point in arguing.


	3. Just a Walk in the Park

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being forced to the Rooster Teeth office, Riley runs into (you guessed it) Ryan. Riley insists on having no feelings for Ryan, but Ryan can be equally stubborn.

The next day, Olivia picks me up at 12.

"I see you decided to dress up a little?" Olivia teases.

She wasn't completely wrong. I'm wearing jeans and my black "LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLet's Play!" shirt, but this time I wore my contacts and added eyeliner and lip gloss. "Shut up." I say stubbornly as I enter the car.

Olivia pulls into the Rooster Teeth parking lot. "Ready?" She grins.

"I guess." I follow her into the building.

Kara is the first to greet us. "Riley! Olivia!"

"Hey! I'm glad you caught the stream yesterday!" I greet her with a hug.

"Yeah, it was really us. Not some impostors. The stream was awesome." Kara starts walking towards the warehouse. We follow her.

"Thanks. It was a special Birthday stream for my older brother." I explain.

"Cool. How old is he?"

Before I could answer, I feel some thing tap my shoulder. I turn around to face Ryan (honestly, who else would it be?).

"Nice to see you again." He smirks.

"I came here for Kara and Lindsay. Not you." I scoff, hiding a smile.

"Well, Lindsay just left for lunch with Michael, Gavin, and Tabby. So you will have to settle for me." He says, still smirking.

Tabby... Sounds familiar.... Oh! The newest Achievement Hunter member! "I don't have to settle for anyone. I can just talk to Kara." I turn back to Kara, but Kara and Olivia disappeared.

"You know, they walked off while we were talking." He chuckles.

"How could they just leave me?" I ask, looking around the room. Surely, they are just hiding.

I feel Ryan's hand interlock with mine. "Come now, no sense in standing around. Let's get you something to eat." Ryan gently tugs me along.

Out of shock, I swipe his hand away.

"...Sorry." He brushes off the rejection.

Only I didn't mean to reject him! That was a reflex! "Um... I'm not hungry, by the way. I ate before I came here. So you don't have to worry about me."  
"Why don't we walk somewhere. It's a nice day out." He says as we walk out the building. "So, tell me about yourself. The only thing I know about you is that your a Rooster Teeth fan, a gamer, and you have a brother."

"Well," I think for a moment. "I grew up in Los Angeles. I moved to Texas with Olivia after I got my associates degree in Preforming Arts-"

"You're an actor?" He raises an eyebrow.

"Actress, thank you very much. And I wouldn't consider myself an actress. I couldn't land a decent acting job. While I'm looking for my big break, I'm working at a local publishing company."

"So why didn't you stay in Los Angeles? You realize that's the best place to get discovered, right?"

"Well," I admit. "Rooster Teeth is out here. I moved out here to be closer to you guys."

"...That was stupid of you." He laughs.

"Shut up! You should be flattered!" I feel the blood rush to my cheeks.

"I used to be in theatre." Ryan switches the subject. "Good times."

"Yeah, I was in a local theatre group in my old town. Everyone said I was pretty good so I thought I could make a career of it. I was wrong."

"Yeah, you're a terrible actress." He smirks.

"Hey, smart ass, you should see me act before you judge me."

"I've already seen you try to act. You try to act like you're not attracted to me when you clearly are."

"Am not." I defend. 

"Whatever you say." He shrugs.

"How can I be attracted to someone I just met? Answer that, smart guy." I look around. I didn't realize how far we walked. While we were talking, Ryan led me to Willow Parks.  
"You can be attracted to someone just by their looks-"

"That's shallow." I interrupt.

"You didn't let me finish." He smiles. "You can like someone just by their looks.The appearance, whether you admit it or not, is what catches a persons eye in the first place. But," He adds. "The attraction is not real until you get to know that person."

"So then I'm not attracted to you. I barely know you." I smirk.

"But," he says, crossing in front of me. "I'm starting to get to know you. So I think I might be taken a liking to you." He smiles, looking down to me.

I feel my face flush. I avoid eye contact. He's messing with me. He has to be. There's no way the James Ryan Haywood would like me. If I start acting shy now, he's going to know he's winning. Can't have that, can we? "Well, I hate to disappoint you," I clear my throat and look him straight in his blue eyes. "But who says I'm interested in you?"  
Unfazed, he responds. "You did. Yesterday. Remember?" He gives me a half smile.

"Finding someone interesting is different than being interested." I usually have the upper hand when it comes to men. Why is is so difficult with Ryan?

"It's a start." He says.

"I hope not."

"Why is that?" He tilts his head. Ryan is so close. Nothing is stopping me from leaning in and kissing him. No, Riley, resist.

Before I could respond, my phone begins to ring. A call from Olivia.

"Hello?" I answer.

"Kara and I are back from lunch. Where are you guys?" I could hear the glee in her voice.

"We went to the park. We're coming back now." I respond. I catch a few seconds of Olivia shrieking before I hang up. "I need to get back."

Ryan leads me through the park. "We should do this again."

"Disagree on this "interested vs. interesting" subject?" I chuckle.

"No, go on a date." He smiles.

"This was not a date." I state stubbornly.

"Fine, then let's go on a real one." He insists.

"....I'll think about it."

Olivia is waiting for us in the parking lot. I wave goodbye to Ryan and hop in the car.

"What happened! I want details!" Olivia demands as she drives out of the parking lot.

I receive a text message from Ryan (So it is a cell number).

_Ryan: So, about that date?_

_Riley: We'll talk later._

_Ryan: Like tonight?_

_Riley: Tomorrow._

_Ryan: Nah, I'll call you tonight._

I roll my eyes. He's so pushy.

"I'm talking to you!" Olivia snaps her fingers. "What happened?"

"He asked me out." I shrug.

Olivia breaks out in a huge grin. "When's the date?"

"I said no."

Olivia slaps my arm. " Riley Anne Thomas! You did not turn that man down!"

"Ow! Stop! You know how I feel about dating. It's just a waste of time! I'm happy being single!" I argue.

"God, why are you so difficult?! You know what me and Kara were talking about? How obvious it is that you and Ryan would be so cute together!"

"Are you fucking stupid?" I snap. "I just met the guy!"

Olivia drives in silence until she reaches my apartment. "How often do you get to meet your celebrity crush and have them like you back?" Olivia mumbles to herself.

I sigh. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to get my hopes up for this. It's not going to go well."

"Well, I guess you'll never know, will you?" She says coldly.

I leap out of the car and slam the door. I don't need her telling me that I need to be with someone. I'm perfectly capable of being on my own. I don't need some guy to make me happy.

Once I get in my apartment, I realized I didn't call my mom yesterday. I dial her number. She answers in a few short rings.

"Riley?"

"Hey, Mom. How are you?"

"Good, dear. How are you?"

"I'm alright. Did you go visit Isaac yesterday?"

She pauses. "Yeah. Your father and I wish you were with us."

"Yeah, I know." I walk into my room.

"Did you get my emails? "

"Yes, Mom, I wanted to talk to you about that," I grit my teeth.

"There are some great schools in California you can go to. You only have two more years. And if you want to change your major, that's fine, too! Our home is always available to you. You can stay however long you need to."

"Moooom." I whine. "I'm really happy here. I have a good paying job."

"You know Brendon was asking about you the other day." Mom says, ignoring my comment.

I cringe after hearing my ex's name. He's part of the reason I'm not in California anymore.

"I don't care, Mom. We broke up for a reason."

"He's a nice young man. If you come back home, I'm sure you can pick up where you left off."

"Mom," I stop her before she continues to irritate me. "Please. Can I ever just call to see how you are? I don't care to hear how my ex is doing."

My phone vibrates in my hand. I check the number. It's Ryan. I feel my heart flutter. Stop it, heart. Don't start this crap now.

"Mom, I really need to call you back later. Love you!" I hang up before she could protest.

I clear my throat before answering. "Hellloooo?" I mentally hit myself for answering the phone in a singing tone.

"Hello yourself. You sound happy to hear from me." He chuckles.

"I thought you were calling after work." I call him out.

"I got out early. Soooooo..." He pauses for dramatic effect. "About that date..."

"Not happening." I bite my lip.

"Are you busy right now?"

"No, but-"

"Then what's stopping you? I have nothing to do, you have nothing to do. We should do nothing together."

"Fine. I'll text you my address. You will pick me up like a gentleman." I demand.

"But of course."

"This isn't a date."

"Yes, it is." He says. He hangs up before I could argue.

"Smart ass.." I mutter as I text him my address.


	4. What Did You do to Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley invites Ryan in for a "no this is not a date" date. Although she's trying not to fall for him, Riley learns that opening up to Ryan is easier than she thought.

The door bell rings. I open the door to find Ryan standing in my doorway.

"Ah, it's been too long." he jokes .

"Shut up. It's only been a few hours." I mumble as I feel a blush sweep across my face. I step out of the way. "Come in. I figured instead of going out somewhere, I would make us dinner instead."

"How kind." He smiles and walks in the apartment.

"Hmm. Maybe I should be more cautious about letting a man in my apartment." I tease.

"Normally, you should. But I'm a gent. You won't have to worry about me."

"Up side of going on a date with an older guy, he has manners." I chuckle.

He knits his eyebrows. "Older? How young are you exactly?"

Within five seconds of our first date, I did one of two things; 1. I made him feel old. Or 2. I made him sound like a pedophile. Great start.

"I'm twenty two."

Ryan lets out a light hearted laugh. "Jack's wife is twenty two and everyone was okay with it. No one gave him shit about being too old."

I sigh a breath of relief. He's not offended. Good. "Make yourself comfortable. I'll get started on dinner." I walk into the kitchen. I go into my fridge and start looking around. "What do you want to eat, Ryan?" No response. I turn around. Ryan's looking at my photos in the living room. "Don't get too comfortable, asshole. Stop snooping." I playfully scold.  
"Oh, I don't care what you make. I'm sure it will be good." He says absent minded.

That's not helpful. I give up, look in my freezer and pull out two frozen pizzas and pop them in the oven.

"What did you decide to make?" He asks as I join him in the living room.

"Frozen pizzas. You didn't say what you wanted so you don't get to try my cooking." I stick my tongue out.

"You're the one who suggested to stay in and cook!" He laughs."I thought you had something planned already."

"Yeah, well... you know.." I shrug. "Now what the hell are you looking at?" I peer around his shoulder. He's holding a group picture with me and my high school friends. "Is this you in high school?" He asks, pointing to a younger me.

I nod. "This was taken at a senior bonfire." I silently beg he won't ask about Brendon.

"I can guess the one in in the pink dress is Olivia. Who are all these other people?"

I start pointing and naming all my friends."This was my crew in high school. That's Abbey, Terry, and Gabe." I avoid Brendon on purpose.

"And the guy with his arm around you?" He turns his head to me. "I love how you tried to avoid talking about someone you obviously used to date." He smirks.

"Okay, sorry." I giggle at myself. I am being silly about that. Ryan doesn't seem like the kind of guy that would care about the past. "That's Brendon. I wasted my entire high school career on that guy."

"Wasted, huh? I'm guessing it didn't end well?" he looks at me with concern.

"Meh, that's a story for another day." I say taking the picture from him and putting it back on the shelf. "That's not a story you want to hear on a first date."

He gives me a crooked smile. "You finally admitted that this was a date."

Crap. "Are you really that surprised?" I sigh in defeat.

"No. You're a horrible actress, remember?" He picks up a picture of Isaac. "This your brother?"

"How'd you guess? That's Isaac."

"You look alike." He observes. "Are you the oldest?"

"No. He was the oldest."

"Oh okay. Oh... wait, was?" Ryan sets the photo down. His full attention is now on me.

"Yeah," I try to shrug it off. "He would've been twenty six this year."

"What happened?" He asks, still concerned. "Or is this something you want to wait to talk about as well."

"No, this is different. I've had time to get over this. The thing with Brendon is still kinda recent. Isaac was in a car accident. He was eighteen."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's okay. It's been a couple of years."I assure him.

"I'm going to stop looking at pictures. It's like walking in a land mine." He smiles apologetically.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it. You can go back to being an asshole now." I nudge him.

"I can do that." He says, turning on my Xbox. "Shall we play while we wait for that pizza?"

I nod. We play a few Vs. rounds in Halo when the timer went off. "After we eat, I want you to stop letting me win all the goddamn time." I command as I take the pizzas out of the oven.

"I didn't let you win. You're actually really good. You definitely got better since your stream." He argues. We get our pizza and sit on the living room couch. "Can I ask you something?"

"You just did." I giggle.

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"What makes you think I'm stubborn?"

"I really like you. And you like me. I can tell. And you won't admit it."

I take a slow bite of pizza to avoid answering. Ryan waits for a response. "It's better this way." I tell him. "If I just stay single, there won't be any problems, no disappointments, no heartbreak."

"That's not necessarily true."

"If you expect the worst, it won't hurt as much when it happens." I shrug.

"What makes you think I'm going to hurt you?" Ryan asks quietly.

"Not just you. Anyone. I'm like that with everyone."

"What could I do to make you trust me? To make you not be like that with me?"

"You'll figure it out." If he really wants to be with me, he will figure it out.

Ryan puts his plate of the coffee table and scoots closer to me. "I will." He says with a smug look. "Mark my words. One day, you're going to fall for me." He places his hand on the side of my head. He swipes his thumb across my cheek.

What makes you think I haven't already? "We'll see.." Is all I can respond, avoiding eye contact.

Ryan tilts up my head to look at him. Our eyes lock. He chuckles" You're so predictable. I know you want to kiss me."

"I don't think so." I lie.

"I think so." He says as he leans in.

My front door springs open and Olivia walks in before we have time to pull away. She stands in the doorway with her mouth agape.

"Goddamn it, Olivia! How the fuck did you get in?" I growl as I pull away from Ryan.

Olivia bites her lip, trying to contain a grin. "I used the spare key under the rug. I wanted to watch movies but I see that your busy."

Ryan leans on the arm rest, looking flustered (Which is actually adorable). "Maybe I should get going. I'll call you later, Riley."

"I'll walk you to your car." I say, rushing behind him. I follow Ryan outside. "I'm so sorry about that. That doesn't happen too often." I explain.

"It's fine. Next time we need to go on a date where you friend can't find us." He jokes.

"Knowing Olivia and how nosy she is, she'll find us anywhere." I grumble as we approach his car. "Well, I'll talk to you later. Thanks for coming over." I wave goodbye. I start walking away, only to be stopped by Ryan taking my hand.

"I forgot something." He says pulling me in.

"What's tha-" I'm cut off by Ryan pressing his soft lips into mine. I feel myself begin to blush. Although the kiss was short peck, I taste a bit of... what is that? Peppermint? Mint? It has a fresh taste to it. Before I could figure it out, he pulls away.

"That." He smirks. He gets in his car. "Later." He waves, and drives off, leaving me on the curb.

My head begins to spin. I haven't been this affected by a kiss since Brendon. The comparison almost scares me. I don't want another Brendon situation. I couldn't handle that.

I turn to walk into my apartment. I spot Olivia peeking out my window. She attempts to pretend she wasn't watching. "Fucking idiot..." I sigh as I walk into the apartment. "I saw you." I accuse her instantly.

"What?! I wasn't watching you and Ryan!"

"I never said anything about Ryan. I just said I saw you."

"Well, I knew that's what you were referring to. So I said it." She sits on the couch and crosses her arms, offended that I'm accusing her. ".....So how was the kiss?" She cracks. I knew she wouldn't last long.

"I can almost still taste his kiss." I admit, running my thumb over my lips.

"Oooooooh, someone wants more!" Olivia sings.

"Shut up." I crash on the couch next to her. "I don't want this, Olivia. I need this feeling to stop before it begins."

"What are you so afraid of, honey? He's seems good for you."

"This feels like Brendon all over again..." I rest my head on the couch, staring at the ceiling.

"Ryan is def. different from Brendon. I can feel it!" Olivia places her perfectly manicured hand on my shoulder.

"I don't know. I can't make that mistake again."

Olivia gets up and pops in a movie. "I rented some romance movies. Maybe that will inspire you."

"I don't need inspiration. I need someone to take these stupid feelings away from me." I mumble.

"Okay, Ms. Doom and Gloom." She teases.

I sit in silence the rest of the movie while Olivia rambles on about some crap how love conquers all. I occasionally trace over my lips, thinking about the next time I get to see Ryan.

I get a text from Ryan.

_Ryan: Alright, what did you do to me? I keep thinking about you._

I was thinking the same thing, Ryan.


	5. Your Armor is Cracking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan invites Riley to visit him at work. Riley is finding it harder and harder to resist the smug, yet somehow charming, bastard known as Ryan Haywood.

I wake up the next day on the couch. Olivia and I must have fallen asleep during the movie. I check the time on my phone. 8:37 A.M. I can't even remember the last time I woke up this early. I leave my cell phone on the couch next to Olivia. I get up, throw away the pizza that's been sitting on the counter all night and I throw the dishes in the sink. I'll get to it eventually.

My cell phone starts to ring, making Olivia jolt awake.

"I'm up!" She shouts.

I shake my head at her and answer without looking at the caller I.D. "Hello?"

"What are you doing today?" The man on the phone asks. It takes me a moment to process that it's Ryan.

"Nothing really. I have the day off."

"Again? Are you sure you have a job?" Ryan laughs. 

"I promise I do! I work tomorrow. My schedule just so happened to have three days off in a row. It's kinda nice."

"Well since you're up and not going to work, come to Rooster Teeth."

"Am I allowed to?" I ask. Olivia at this point now has her ear pressed against the phone, trying to listen in. I don't fight her away. I let her listen.

"It's fine. You're not going to bother anyone but me." He says. I can almost imagine the smirk he's giving me over the phone.

"I'll be there." I answer. "See you later." I hang up.

Olivia nudges me. "Going to see your boo?"

I laugh. "He's certainly not my "boo"." 

"But you do like him." She adds.

"Yeah," I say. "You know what, I do." I smile.

Olivia squeals. "I knew it!"

I walk to my room to get ready. I listen to Olivia rant from the kitchen. 

"We can go on double dates!" She says. "Then we can have a double wedding!"

I cackle. "What are you on about? Didn't you and Josh break up?" I throw on my "Haywood Airlines" shirt. I figured Ryan would get a kick out of that. I pop in my contacts and apply eyeliner.

She scoffs. "Josh was so five days ago. I'm over bad boys. I'm into foreigners now." She peeks her head into my room. "You need to introduce me to Gavin."

"I'll do my best. I'll talk to Ryan today."I promise. Although, I don't hold much hope for her. I don't think Olivia is Gavin's type.

Olivia claps. "Thank you! Do you want me to drop you off to the office?"

"Yeah. A ride would be nice." I walk out of my room

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Want me to pick you up later?" Olivia asks as I step out of the car.

"I'm sure Ryan will give me a lift home." I answer.

Olivia grins. "You're not hiding that you like him. You're usually guarded about this stuff. What changed today?"

I shrug. "There's no use in hiding it from you. But I never said I was going to give in to him yet."

Olivia rolls her eyes. "Oh, honestly! You are so stubborn!"

"That's why you love me! Thanks for the lift!" I close the door.

I cross the parking lot and enter the Rooster Teeth building. Ryan is standing in the lobby, talking to Kara. He smiles when I walk in the door.

I walk up to him. "You waited for me?" I tilt my head.

Instead of answering, he bends down and plants a kiss on my cheek. I feel myself begin to blush.

"D'aawwwwww!" Kara teases.

"Bye, Kara." Ryan takes my hand, leading me to the warehouse. 

"Who gave you permission to do that?" I ask, still blushing.

"Was that not okay? Nice shirt, by the way." 

I ignore the compliment. "Just because you got bold and kissed me yesterday does not mean anything." I say stubbornly.

He smirks (that famous smirk). "I think it does. Your armor is cracking."

"What armor? When did we get transported to the middle ages?" I snicker.

"Quick, milady! We must conquer this evil work day together!" He jogs, tugging me along behind him

"You're a dork!" I laugh.

Ryan sits at his desk and pats his lap. "Have a seat."

I chuckle. "Sure!" And I pull up a spinney chair.

"You're no fun." He returns to work. 

I sit nearby, watching. "Why did you want me to come here?"

"Being with you makes time go faster," He answers. "Work should go by quickly."

"So what am I suppose to do? Sit around and watch you work?" 

"It will be fun. I promise. After I finish doing some animation, then we're going to record a Let's Play, then go out for lunch, then we'll come back here and I'll teach you how I edit some videos." He starts planning out the day. "And if you get too bored, you can actually help me by making a video." He adds.

"Okay, sounds fun." I study Ryan as he works. I love how I can read his expressions. His face scrunches when he's irritated, his eyes light up when he does accomplish something correctly, he smacks his lips when something doesn't animate right, and when he's really antsy, he bounces his knee up and down.

"It's done." He says, rising from his desk. He starts pushing my chair out of the warehouse. I sit back and enjoy the ride to the Achievement Hunter office. "The office is so small, I don't think the chair will fit." he says.

I hop off the chair and follow Ryan into the office.

"I brought her by." Ryan announces proudly.

"Hey, that's the girl from the tour right?" Ray ask. "It's nice to see you again."

"You remember me?" I ask, sounding surprised.

"Not many people promote their Twitch while getting their autograph book signed." Ray says.

The new Achievement Hunter member, Tabby, is crouched down, plugging in some electrical equipment I'm assuming she's setting up the equipment for her and Ryan. Tabby looks over her shoulder. "We haven't met yet. I'm Tabby." She waves.

"I'm Riley." I introduce myself.

"Glad you could come by the office," Geoff says from his desk. "Ryan wouldn't shut the fuck up about you."

"Yeah," Gavin pipes up. "He was like, "Riley has a Twitch. She's good at video games. She's pretty, too."." Gavin gives his best Ryan impression. "He bloody mentioned you every chance he got."

"Anyway," Ryan rushes. "Let's get this over with. Minecraft right?" Ryan sits on the couch. "So, uh, Tabby occupies the other half of the couch so you can't sit by me."

"Oh, I could sit on the floor. I don't mind-" Tabby offers.

"So," Ryan pretends not to hear her. "I guess if you want to sit, my lap is available."

I snort. "Not happening."

He gently takes my hand and guides me to him. My heart flutters as he pulls me into his lap. He wraps his arms around me like a kid hugging his favorite teddy bear. I bury my face into his shoulder. The fresh scent of laundry detergent mixed with citrus fills my nostrils. "I love how you said no, yet you did nothing to stop me." He says with pride.

"Screw you." I mumbled, being muffled by his shirt.

I hear a small "Awwww!" coming from Tabby.

"Jeez, get a room." Jack says.

Embarrassed, I stop snuggling Ryan. Ryan flicks him off. Everyone gets in positions and starts recording. I adjust myself to watch Ryan's screen. I lean back, resting my back on his chest. He rests his arms and controller on my lap.

"Everyone, this is what we're doing today," Geoff announces. The Achievement Hunter game characters walk over to Geoff's Master Chief skin, standing in the middle of Achievement City. 

Geoff's voice fades out when Ryan rest his chin on my shoulder. Something about being this close to him feels nice.

"Okay, onyourmarkgetsetGOOOOOOOoooOOOoooOO!" Geoff shouts.

I wasn't paying attention to what they're doing. I'll catch on when I watch what Ryan's doing. Ryan's character sprints to a nearby tree and starts fisting it down.

"Ryan is already starting out quiet. This is a bad sign." Ray jokes. "Maybe he already won before we began."

"Ryan, the fuck are you doing?" Michael's Banjo character races past Ryan. "You don't need wood for this! Geoff gave us everything we need!"

"Well..." Ryan starts but doesn't finish his thought. Ryan breaks the wood down to wooden planks. What was he doing?

"So I'm guessing Ryan is making extra materials?" Gavin creeper skin stands in front of Ryan. Gavin gets bored and continues the game. 

I glance over Tabby's screen. She's standing behind Ryan, watching him.

"Are you assholes over there just not going to play, or what?" Geoff sounds slightly irritated.

"I'm trying to figure out what the fuck he's doing!" Tabby shouts in defense. "Whatever. I'm going to play now." Tabby quickly gives up. 

I look back to Ryan's screen. He's making signs. 

"So I guess Ryan isn't competing." Jack laughs. "Maybe one of us can actually win this week."

Ryan places the sign down. Seriously, what is he up to? I'm afraid to talk because I'm not sure if they want me to stay quiet or not.

The signs read "Hey beautiful".

I hold back a smile. Tabby's character comes back and reads the sign. "Awww!" She squeals and continues on. "Ryan's being cute!"

"Ryan? Cute? I gotta see this." Michael snorts. Michael's Banjo skin is seen on Ryan's screen. "Alright then." He says, leaving the area.

"I am beautiful, aren't I? Thanks Ryan!" Gavin's character comes from no where.

"What the hell are you all talking about?" Geoff says, flying over to the sign. "Oh." Is all he says. 

Gavin squawks. "Ryan's trying to bloody romance me! Mi-cool, you might lose me!"

Michael laughs. "Hush! You're going to stir up the Mavin and Freewood fan girls!"

Ryan places another sign that says "Can we make this official?" He places down his controller and wraps his arms around me tighter. "Please?" I feel his lips move against the back of my shoulder.

My heart beat increases. I want to say yes. He's making it so difficult to say no to him. But we can't do this. We can't.

I have to keep telling myself: You don't need a boyfriend. You don't need him. You can't have him.

Ryan lifts his head. "....Riley...?"

This causes everyone in the room to sneak a glance. They still try to continue the game.

"Gavin! You fuck! Leave me alone!"

"Mi-cool!"

"Fuck this. I'm gonna go build a house."

After a few moments of me not responding, Ryan breaks the sign and starts the game late.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright! Congratulations, Tabby, on your very first win!" Everyone (minus me and Ryan) cheers. "Let's stop!" Geoff shouts before everyone cuts the recording.

"I hope that helps improve my popularity with the viewers." Tabby crosses her fingers.

"You did great." I smile, trying to make conversation to make the awkward feeling in the room go away.

"Thanks." Tabby smiles in return. I can tell she's just being polite. She's probably curious as to what exactly happened.

"Alright. I'm buying pizza for lunch. ." Geoff announces. "That includes you, Riley. You are more than welcome to stay." He dials the number and brings the phone to his ear.

"Thanks, Geoff." I nod, sliding off Ryan's lap.

The room starts clearing out, leaving me, Geoff and Ryan. "Let us know when it gets here!" Ray shouts as he leaves.

I turn to Ryan. Before I could say anything, he stands.

"I'll be right back." He sounds normal.

"Wait, I'm sorry." 

He gives me a strange look. "For what?"

"I, uh, um... For what happened." I struggle to find the words.

He shrugs. "I don't know what you're referring to but I guess it's okay." He leaves the room.

Geoff gets off the phone after placing the order. "So," He says, hanging up the phone. "Let's gab for a minute." He wheels his chair closer to me. I sit down on the couch. "I just want to start off by thanking you."

"Thanking me? For what?" I'm confused. I'm pretty sure everyone in this room is aware that I blew him off. Why is he thanking me?

"I've known Ryan for a few years," He says. "And I don't know what you did, but the guy seems happy. Genuinely happy since he met you. He's coming to work in a better mood. He's joking more, laughing more, and even getting more insane. Trust me, that's a good thing from Ryan. He seems happy and I think that's because of you."

"Geoff, how could that be? We just met. Now that I think about it, it's been two days. You can't tell me that I made that much of an impact on him in just two days."

"Ah, but you have," He explains. "The heart is a funny thing. All it takes is one little spark to start a fire. Maybe you don't understand how, but Ryan has taken a liking to you, and that's a big deal because that doesn't happen. At all."

"There's nothing between me and Ryan." I deny. "There's no way he's in love with me."

"Who said love? Not right now, anyway. Even I'll admit it's too soon. But what I do know that he likes you. A lot. In time, who knows what could happen. The reason why I wanted to talk to you is that you need to understand that Ryan is a hard guy to get close to. He's been through a lot and I haven't seen him this happy since Sarah."

I pause looking for a response. "Sarah?"

Geoff nods. "It's not my business to say anything. That's up to Ryan. I guess what I'm trying to say is at least give the guy a chance. I can't make you and that's surely not my intention, but at least consider it."

Ryan walks back in the room with two sodas. "What did I miss?"

Geoff gets up. "Just talking. I'm going to go wait in the lobby for those pizzas." Geoff pats Ryan on the back before leaving the room.

Ryan hands me a drink. "What was that about?"

Don't mention Sarah. Don't mention Sarah. Don't mention Sarah. "Who's Sarah?" ......Damn it.... I'm a fucking dumb ass.....

Ryan bites the inside of his cheek. "He told you about Sarah?"

"Well not exactly. He just said her name. I was just curious but you don't have to tell me."

Ryan shakes his head. "It's not a big deal. She's my ex wife, that's all. See? No secrets here." He smiles.

I feel relieved. I thought I would have to compete with a dead wife.... Wow, that sounds really bad. I'm glad he can't read thoughts.

"Now," He continues. "I asked you a question and you didn't answer," Oh, here we go. I was waiting for this. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." 

He's apologizing? Why?! "No, I'm sorry. I should've-"

"No," He puts up a hand. "If I've been accidentally pushing you, then that's not okay. If you feel asking you out is too fast, then I'm sorry for bringing it up. I haven't really been interested in anyone for years so I'm still learning how to act." He explains."I'm sorry. I won't ask you out again until-" 

I take a step closer and he stops talking. I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing him closer. "Let's give it a try." I bite my lip. "This could either go really well or really bad, but let's at least try." I say before leaning in for a kiss.

Before our lips could touch, a shriek is heard by the door. I whip my head and find Olivia standing in the doorway.

Olivia?!

"What the fuck!" I shout, jumping back. "Why the fuck are you here?!"

Olivia is covering her mouth (I still know you're freaking out, you dork). "Kara invited me for lunch and I was trying to find you to see if you wanted to come!"

"I'm having lunch with the Achievement Hunters." I say, through gritted teeth. "Now if you'll excuse me." I start closing the door.

"I want details later!!!" She shouts through the door.

I press my head against the door. "I. Am. So. Sorry."

Ryan chuckles, pulling me away from the door. "It's okay. If we're going to date, I'm guessing I'm going to have to get used to that." He leans down and presses his lips against mine.

The door opens. "Pizza's here! Oh-" Geoff stops with pizza boxes in his hands. The Achievement Hunter crew crowds behind him. 

"Son of a bitch." Ryan mumbles.

I start to laugh. I plant a kiss on Ryan's cheek and pull away. I guess we both have to get used to having our friends walking in at the wrong moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very close to 200 reads! (I know that's not a big deal to some people, but that makes me seriously happy!) Thanks so much!


	6. Insecurities and Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley and Ryan both have insecurities about the age difference that they are unwilling to admit to each other. But is there a more serious issue on the horizon?

"Are you sure you have to go to work today?" Ryan asks, still groggy from waking up.

"I'm sure," I laugh. "I have to make money somehow." 

"Well, you look nice today." Ryan notes, eyeing my outfit.

 Usually for work, I just throw on a pair of dress pants and a plain white button up, but now that Ryan drives me to work, I've been mixing it up. Today I wore my black pencil skirt (That makes my non existent ass actually look good.), a white tank top with a red button up (I may have forgotten to button the first button. Whoops).

I smile at the compliment and step out of his car. "See ya' after work?"

"Yeah, bye." He smiles. He waves and drives to work.

I wish I didn't work today. On my days off, I go to work with him. At Rooster Teeth, Ryan will hand me a game to play while I wait for him to finish animating, editing, or whatever. Even though he's working, I love spending that time with him.

I walk into Mark's Publishing Inc., my work place. I take my place at the front desk. I'm a receptionist with Olivia. Our jobs consists of "Mr. Miller can see you now.", "Do you have an appointment?", and my favorite "Mr. Miller is not in right now. May I take a message?" when in reality he is in his office. He's just avoiding his girlfriend or optimistic writers that want to get a book published. Honestly, I do all of that. Olivia sits and reads or paints her nails. Which is fine with me. I get paid to talk with my best friend and get work done. It's a pretty easy job.

Madison, an acquaintance (If that's what you want to call her), walks in the double glass doors a few seconds behind me. Her stiletto heels click against the shiny tiled floors. Her shoulder length brunette curls bounce with every walk. "Riley, who was that? I've been noticing him dropping you off for the last week."

"That's Ryan."

"So is he your boyfriend or something?" She asks, trying to hide that fact that she's obviously not pleased.

I nod. "Yeah. Something wrong with that?"

"Aren't you a little young?"

I furrow my eye brows. "What's that suppose to mean?" Oh, leave it to Madison to start shit first thing in the morning.

"Don't take any offense, honey. I'm looking out for you. I just don't think you're mature enough for a man like that." She places her hand over her heart.

"A man like what?" I snap.

"He looks way older than us. Men his age that date younger women are only going through an identity crisis. Once he's over that, you're getting dropped so he could get a more serious relationship." She states. "Speaking of which, he's dropping you off to work? That's not dating. That's like a father dropping off his daughter to school." she laughs, trying to pretend she's joking. Her words cut into me like a knife.

"Listen," A voice booms behind her. Madison spins around, facing an angry Olivia. "Ryan is a great guy and totally not that old! He's not going through an identity crisis. And Riley is totally mature enough for him. I mean, let's face it, she's probably the most mature one here! Certainly more mature than you!" Olivia growl. "Now, I suggest you keep your little pin needle nose out of this!"

Madison puts her hands up in defense. "I was just trying to help." Madison turns to me. "Some friend," She snorts. "She's insisting you date this guy even though she knows it's going to end in tragedy.When he breaks your heart, I'll be there to help comfort like a real friend. I won't even bring up the fact that I was right." She smirks before heading to the elevator.

Once she's at a safe distance, Olivia huffs, "Uggghh! What a bitch!" She fumes. "Who does she think she is? I'm talking to Uncle Bradly about this! Why isn't she fired yet?!" She whines.

I chuckle. "Being the niece of the boss obviously doesn't give you everything you want."

"It got us jobs, didn't it? The best jobs in the world! We share a desk and everything. " Olivia reaches for the phone on my desk.

"What are you doing?" I hiss.

"Uncle Bradly, it's Olivia..... Stop calling me Livy! Why is everyone calling me that?! Anyway, I have to talk to you..... Yes.... Right now.... Yes, I mean right this second! Come down to the lobby!" She stomps her foot to the ground. "Okay, fine, don't come down. I want Madison fired.... I don't care if she's you best employee....I know you've explained this to me.....But she's so mean!.... Fine, We'll discuss this later!" She slams the phone down. 

"I better not get in trouble for you doing that." I warn her.

"Uncle is a push over." Olivia dismisses. Sometimes I hate how spoiled she is, but I hate myself even more for enjoying the spill over perks. Olivia sits at our desk and checks her make-up.

"....Do you think she was right?" I ask as Olivia settles in.

She sets down her make-up compact and looks at me with wide eyes. "Have you lost your mind? Don't let her get to you, Riley Anne! That's so not like you!"

"But she has a point," I say in frustration. "Why would Ryan be interested in me? I'm sure there are older, more mature women he could be with. He's on a different level. He's been  _married_ , for Gods sake! I've never even lived with another man."

"Riley," Olivia shakes her head. "You're just being insecure. What's not to like about you?"

"It's just," I stall, looking for what to say. "Okay, so he's older. What if dating an older guy is different than dating a younger guy?"

"Well, I'm sure it is." Olivia shrugs.

"But different how? Like what if he starts to see that I'm not mature enough for him? Olivia, this is why I was so reluctant to be with him. I like him so much, but if he decides that I'm not good enough...." I don't even want to finish that sentence.

Olivia closes her eyes and sighs. "I'm telling you, you have nothing to worry about. If I didn't know better, I'd say he loves you."

"Too soon." I tell her.

"But you kept telling me that he's older and he's been in more mature relationships. So wouldn't he know what he wants by now?" She elbows me softly in the arm. "Ever heard of love at first sight? If that's a real thing, then I'm almost positive that's what you two have."

I don't really have a response for that. I'm glad she's trying to assure me, but I just can't help but feeling that I'm not good enough for him.

**Ryan's Point Of View:**

"Gavin, may I speak to you for a minute?" I lean over Gavin's desk. I'm very embarrassed that it's come to this. Gavin gives me a quizzical look. "Just come here." I motion him to follow me out of the office.

"What's up, Ry?" He asks, still giving me that confused look.

"You don't speak a word of this to anyone." I warn. Gavin nods in understanding. I look around the hallway. It's empty. I lean against the wall, searching for something to say. Why the hell did it come down to this? He's never going to let me live it down.

"Ryan, are you okay? I'm starting to get worried." Gavin asks, with caution in his voice.

"It's nothing to be worried about, I just..." I cover my face with my hands. "I need to know... Where do young people hang out?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"Huh? Ryan, I can't understand you when you're mumbling like that and your face is covered." Gavin moves my hands out of my face.

"Where... do younger people," I struggle to repeat. "Like to hang out..." Gavin tries to contain a huge smile. "Like.... on a date?"

Gavin starts to do his throaty, gurgle-y laugh. "Wot?! Ryan!" Gavin laughs in amusement.

"Please," I feel the blood rushing to my face. "This is embarrassing enough as it is."

"What do you want to know about that for?"

"I, uh," I scratch the back of my head. "I... I wanted to take Riley somewhere nice today... I don't want her getting bored with me.." I admit.

Gavin crosses his arms. "Ryan! What makes you think she's bored with you?! You guys have been going out everyday this past week! What have you been doing?"

"Well, our first date, she invited me in her apartment for pizza and video games," I start recalling all our dates. "Second date, we went to the movies, third date, we went to my place and I made us dinner and we watched a movie, and on Saturday and Sunday, we played video games at my house."

"Those sound fun. What's the real problem here, Ryan?"

"She's going to start to notice that I'm too old for her..." I hang my head in shame. I can't believe I'm admitting all of this to Gavin, of all people. "I need to take her somewhere hip... Oh, God, I can't believe I said that."

"Ryan!" Gavin squeaks. "Where is this coming from?! That girl is crazy about you!"

"She can do so much better than me!" I shout in frustration.

Gavin is taken back by my small outburst. "I've never seen you like this. You're serious."

"She can do better than me." I sigh. I slide down the wall and plop on the floor. Gavin settles down next to me. "She's a beautiful young woman. She's witty, independent, and definitely smarter than most people her age. I'm afraid she's either going to decide that I'm too old for her, or just not good enough."

"That's ridiculous." Gavin insists.

"It's not. I know how I feel about her. I can see us being a couple. But her," I pause. "She's so young. She hasn't experienced as much as I have. If we decide to commit to this, I'd feel like I was taking away some of her experiences from her." I comb my fingers through my hair. "Even worse, she could meet someone new. Someone her age and fall in love with him."

"You can't go on making predictions like that within the first week." Gavin chuckles. "I'll be honest, you guys look good together. And everyone in the office is really happy to see you this happy with a girl."

I'm still unsure about this whole thing. Gavin's right. I have to wait and be patient.... Wait, did I seriously just think that Gavin was right?

"Why did you come to me, of all people?" Gavin asks.

"I was going to go to Ray first, since he's the youngest, but let's face it, Ray on a cool date? Not likely. You were the second youngest."

"Alright." Gavin laughs. "Makes sense. Now stop worrying. I don't think anything can come between you and Riley."

**Riley's Point of View:**

I just finished handing Mr. Miller the reports I just typed up. Before I can get in the elevator, I get a text from Olivia. 

_Olivia: Don't come back to our desk! Brendon is here!_

I feel myself begin to panic.

_Riley: WHAT?!_

_Olivia: Go back to Uncle's office and hide! I'll get rid of him!_

 I obey and speed walk back to Mr. Miller's office.

_Riley: What is he doing here?!_

_Olivia: I'm trying to find that out now!_

"Riley?" Mr. Miller, a thirty five year old man with slick back blonde hair, questions as he sees me approach. "What are you doing back here? Did you forget something?"

Just then, I'm assuming Olivia texts him. He looks at his phone. "Oh," He says. "You can stay up here until it's safe."

"Thank you, Mr. Miller." I bow.

He rolls his eyes. "You're like a niece to me and you still insist on calling me Mr. Miller during work hours?"

"You know how I am." I explain. 

"Whatever makes you comfortable. So anyway, what's that cheating douche bag doing in my lobby? Why isn't he in California?"

"I don't know! I'm freaking out!" I pace the room. "I finally start getting used to the idea of dating Ryan and-"

Mr. Miller holds up his hand. "You're finally dating him? And Olivia didn't tell me?!"

"Mr. Miller! Be nosy later! This is a crisis!" I scold.

He holds up his hands in defense. "You're right, you're right. So how are we getting rid of him?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I hope Olivia has a plan."

Olivia sends an all clear text. "I'm going back down there. She says it's safe."

"Okay, if you ever need to hide again, you're welcome up here."

"Thanks, Uncle Bradly. I mean, Mr. Miller."

"You know you don't have to call me Mr. Miller." He insists.

"You know the rules. We are not family during office hours. You are my boss. After hours, you're my uncle." I explain on my way out.

"Fair enough." He waves.

Back down in the lobby, I sit back at our desk. Olivia looks absolutely panicked. "What happened?" I ask.

She turns to me. "Riley... My dear Ri... He's moving to Texas."

"You've got to be shitting me!" I shout, causing a few employees to look in our direction.

"He got a job offer here and he took it."

"When you say here.... You mean Texas."

Olivia shakes her head. "I mean... Here." She points to the ground, indicating Mark's Publishing Inc.

"Uncle Bradly won't allow this, right?" I look at her with hope.

Olivia shakes her head once more. "Uncle Bradley's boss, The Big Cheese, the Head Honcho himself, Mr. Marks, is transferring Brendon here."

"WHY?!"

"I don't know!" Olivia whines. "Brendon knew we were going to be here so he took the job. He starts next Monday."

"No no no no no." I chant. "This isn't happening." I groan.

"Maybe it won't be so bad." Olivia offers a weak smile. "Maybe he'll be put somewhere in the back. Like maybe he'll have different hours."

I put my head down.

"Are you that afraid of him?" Olivia whispers.

"It's not that I'm scared." I assure her. "It's just he's the reason I can't trust people. And I don't know. Being a the same job as him really just bothers me."

"Maybe we should explain the situation to Uncle? Maybe we should tell he did more than just cheat. Then we will have a case. We can get a restraining order-"

"Olivia," I rub my temples. "No. No restraining orders. I'm not afraid of him. I put all that shit behind me. I'm just pissed off." I bang my fist into the desk. "He's everywhere! He always gets his way and it just pisses me off!"

"So what are you going to do?" Olivia rests her hand on my shoulder. 

I place my hand over hers. "I'm not going to run. I'm going to face him. He's not going to scare me from my job. I'm not going to let him think he has any control over me."

Olivia nods in understanding. "There's one more thing I think you should do," I look at her waiting for a response. "I think you should tell Ryan."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I clock out. "Thanks for the ride offer, but Ryan and I have a date." I smile.

Olivia squeals. "You guys are so cute! Again, same as always, I want details! See ya!" She waves as she walks to her car.

I walk out of the building. Ryan is waiting by the curb. I hop into the car. "Hello," 

He greets me with a kiss on the cheek. "Oh! Before I forget," He says, reaching in the back seat. He pulls a bouquet of flowers. "I was passing the florist when I had a last minute thought to buy you some flowers." He hands me the flowers, starts the car, and starts driving to his house.

A grin spreads across my face. "Thanks, Ryan! This really made my day so much better!" I say, bringing the flowers close to my nose.

Ryan pauses before asking. "Was today bad? Want to talk about it?"

I better tell him now, before this becomes a big thing. "Brendon is moving here to Austin."

The car jerks to a stop at a stop sign. The force lunges my body forward. Thank God for seat belts.

"Ryan?" I ask, cautiously.

Ryan gulps, but tries to maintain his composure. "Your ex?" He clears his throat.

"Yeah, but let's talk about this at your house. I don't want you to crash and kill us." I force a weak laugh. Why is he so nervous? Maybe this won't go as well as I thought it would.


	7. Safe Haven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley finally sits down and talks to Ryan about Brendon.

I follow Ryan into his house. Ryan goes upstairs to his bedroom. "I'm going to put these in a vase!" I call to him as I head to the kitchen.

"Okay, don't forget them!" He calls back.

I put my flowers in a vase on the kitchen table. Ryan comes down the stairs, wearing sweat pants, a black tee shirt and his glasses.

I raise my eye brows. "Why are you the only one that gets to be comfy?"

"You know where my room is. Feel free to borrow something. Although, I'm not opposed to you walking around like that." He says, addressing my work outfit. "It's like a sexy secretary. I like it." He says.

I turn my head away to hopefully hide my blushing face. "Well, I hate to ruin your fun, but I'm going to go steal some of your clothes. Start making some coffee while I'm gone. I'm starting to feel a little sluggish." I start walking upstairs. Once in his room, I start looking through his closet. "What can I borrow?" I shout.

"Whatever you want!" He replies.

I steal a pair of his sweat pants. The sweats drop down to the floor as soon as I attempt to put them on. "God, you're fat!" I tease.

"Hey!" He shouts in defense. "I'm not fat! You're just tiny!" As much as I appreciate the compliment, I am far from tiny. If you want to see tiny, look at Olivia. She's a size three while I'm like a size ten. I find a different pair of sweats with drawstrings. I tighten the pants and I throw on his Mad King Ryan "Achieve" shirt. I get a whiff of Ryan's famous laundry and citrus scent. On top of his dresser, I notice a picture of a woman with long, wavy brown hair. I pick up the photo for a better examination. She's gorgeous. She's wearing a white summer dress with a silly looking sun hat. The picture is crumbled up. On the back, it reads:  _Sarah Haywood 2003(I'm a Haywood now! I can barely believe it!)_

So this is Sarah. This must have been taken a few weeks after they got married. I put the photo back down. I have other things to worry about. I'll save this problem for another day.

 I walk back down to the kitchen and sit at the table. Ryan places a cup of coffee in front of me, then pulls his chair close to me.

"Heh, cute." He studies me. "You know, most girls aren't comfortable enough to wear their boyfriend's clothing in just a week."

"Meh. It doesn't bother me." I shrug.

"So," He takes a deep breath. "What should I know about this Brendon guy?"

I blow on my coffee before taking a sip. The rich taste of french vanilla runs down my throat. "I can go into detail, or I can shorten it for you."

"I want to know everything." Ryan says.

I chuckle lightly. "Okay.... We were friends growing up. We started dating freshman year of high school." I break for another sip of coffee. "Everything was fine. We pretty much liked the same things, we hung out everyday, and if we fought about something, we talked it out."

"Sounds awful," Ryan says sarcastically. "Let me guess, this guy was your first?"

I tilt my head. "First?"

Ryan covers his face and chuckles. "You're so cute. You know, your first. Like did you lose your virginity to him?"

"Jeez, Ryan!" I shout. "Stop being so forward!"

Ryan goes into a fit of laughter. "It was just a question! I love how that's the thing you will get shy over. There's nothing to be embarrassed about."

I blush. "Yeah, he was my first." I mumble. Believe me, I would take it back if I could.

"Did you love him?" Ryan asks, looking into his coffee cup.

"I thought I did." I shrug. I have stronger feelings for Ryan now than when I thought I loved Brendon. That's something I'll never admit to Ryan. Not right now, anyway.

"Really though, you were a young couple in "love" and you got along. What was the problem?" He looks back into my eyes and smiles.

"He started getting a little abusive." I said bluntly.

Ryan's smile fades. His eyebrows furrow and his pale blue eyes turn dark.

"I almost don't want to call it that. It's not as bad as you think," I insist. I've never seen an angry Ryan. I'd rather not see one yet. "After graduation, we went to different colleges. I caught him cheating and he hit me a few times. I broke up with him and cut off all ties with him. Now that you know that, the reason he's moving to Texas is because he's now working at Mark's Publishing Inc."

Instead of flying into a manly rage like I though he would, Ryan takes a deep breath, takes my hand and kisses it. "Is that why you didn't want to be with me? He's the reason you can't trust people?" He sounds calm.

"After Brendon, I decided that I didn't need anyone. If I was alone, I couldn't get hurt again. Physically and emotionally." My eyes wouldn't leave the flowers Ryan bought me on the center of the table. "Only person I feel comfortable opening up to is Olivia. And strangely enough, you." Ryan seems to relax a little.

Ryan's fingers fall into place between my fingers, and slides his other hand on my cheek. He moves his head forward and kisses the tip of my nose. He rests his forehead on mine. "I'm sorry that happened to you," He says. "No one should have to go through something like that. Maybe you don't think it's a big deal, but it kind of is. That's still abuse." He tilts his head. "I'm not going to let him hurt you anymore." He kisses my cheek.

Feeling a little bold today, I crash my lips into his. His kiss is harder and more passionate than usual. In the force, our glasses clink together. We both giggle at this. His hands slide down onto my waist as I wrap my arms around his neck. Without pulling away, he lifts me from the chair and carries me to the living room. Ryan starts biting my bottom lip. I feel his lips curl into a smile. I feel the jolt of the couch. Ryan settles on top of me. His mouth travels down to my neck.

"Ryan," I bite my lip.

"Hm?" He hums, still nibbling on my neck.

My phone decides to go off, interrupting our moment. Ryan groans as I pull away. "That was the longest we got to do anything before someone disrupts us." He pouts. "Who is it, anyway?"

I giggle as I reach for my phone. I've never seen Ryan this wound up. It's kinda adorable. "It's Olivia." I say over the ringing.

Ryan nuzzles his face into my neck. "Call her back later," He says in between planting kisses on my neck.

I try to brush him away. "It could be important."

He shrugs. "Okay, answer then. No one says I have to stop what I'm doing." He says giving me a smug look.

I roll my eyes and answer the phone. "What's up?" I ask, as Ryan continues to nip at my neck.

"Brendon just called me." She says flatly.

I'm really not in the mood to deal with that right now. I should be spending time with Ryan. "Can this wait? I'm at Ryan's house-"

"I know but I think you should know this." She cuts me off. "He was asking a bunch of questions about you. I didn't answer any, of course. He asked if you were seeing anyone. Ri, what if he tried to get you back?"

I shake my head. "That's not going to happen. I'm happy with Ryan." I ruffle his hair as I talk about him. I feel his lips smile into my neck.

"I know you are. I'm just warning you. I don't know what he's planning."

I shrug Ryan off. It was starting to get too complicated trying to listen to a serious conversation and then basically melting into Ryan's touch. Too much going on for me.

Ryan obeys and gets up. He starts walking into the kitchen. I continue to lay on the couch. I grab a blanket that was draped over the couch and wrap myself in its warmth.

"I don't trust this guy. Old friend or not." Olivia rants. "I mean, who does he think he is? After what he did to you? And he expects to just get you back?"

"Now, wait. Let's be logical. No one actually said he was trying to win me back."

" _You're_  the one that needs to be logical." She says. "He just so happens to move to the same place we do and he's asking about you? That's all too suspicious to be a coincidence. Maybe you're right. Maybe he's here for a different reason, but whatever the reason, you need to be on guard."

I laugh. "Thank you for worrying about me but I'm fine. I have you and Ryan. Nothing bad is going to happen." I look over to Ryan. He smiles at me from the kitchen. I hold back a yawn. It really has been a long day. It's no surprise that I'm so sleepy. Can't let Ryan know I'm tired. I want to enjoy our date.

"Okay, fine. I was just warning you." She lets up on the subject. "Tell Ryan I said hi, by the way."

"Olivia says hi!" I tell him, taking the phone from my ear.

"Great timing as usual, Olivia!" Ryan shouts.

"He says hi." I tell her, putting the phone back to my ear.

"Nooooo, I heard him! Did I interrupt something?!" I can almost hear the excitement in her voice.

"Bye, Olivia." I hang up the phone before she could freak out.

Ryan comes back into the living room. "I'm sorry my house is boring. Video games or movies?"

"Put in a movie. I don't care which one. I'm too exhausted to attempt to play anything right now." I lay down on my side, snuggling into the blanket more.

Ryan puts in a movie and wedges himself between the couch and me. He wraps an arm around me and cuddles me. I'm feeling generous, so I share the blanket I'm wrapped in. "So, if you're so stressed, why don't you quit?"

"I have to at least see how it goes. I can't let him get to me." I say, closing my eyes. Something about being in Ryan's house relaxes me. I feel like nothing can reach me here. It's like my safe haven.

"I mean, quitting doesn't mean he won. It just means you're removing yourself from a possibly harmful situation." He argues. 

"Can we talk about this later?" I yawn.

"...Fine." And like that, he drops the subject. "Are you tired?"

"Nooooo...." I poke out my lips. "I had coffee."

"It was decaf, stupid." He smirks. 

"Then it's not real coffee. It's a lie." I pout, trying to force myself to stay awake. 

He laughs. "I suppose you're right. It was all I had. Just don't fall asleep on me. Or else I'm going to be bored."

"Goddddddd. I won't." I whine. Half way through the movie, I feel myself drift off.


	8. Perfect End to a Perfect Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley skips out on work to spend the day with Ryan.

I wake the next morning, wrapped in Ryan's warm embrace. "Nnnngg..." I grumble as I stir awake. 

"'Morning," Ryan kisses my cheek. "You promised you wouldn't fall asleep."

I frown. "How long have you been up? You could've moved."

"I got up not too long ago. I didn't want to wake you." He strokes my hair.

I stretch. "You should've woken me up last night. What time is it?"

Ryan looks at the clock on the wall. "Fuck.." He mumbles, getting up. "It's ten. I'm like an hour late for work."

I check my phone. Olivia texted me.

_Olivia: Brendon is here. I thought he was starting Monday but I guess he lied. I covered for you and talked to Uncle. Don't worry about coming in to work._

I put my phone on the table. "Yeah, I'm late, too." I wrap myself under the blanket.

Ryan starts walking up the stairs. "Shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"I think I'll skip today."

He stops walking. "Are you sure? We can swing by your apartment and you can get dressed. I won't mind."

"Brendon is working today," I sigh. "I'm not quite ready to face that yet."

Ryan nods in understanding. He continues up the steps. "I'll be back down."

Ryan comes back down moments later, wearing his signature jeans and a dark green shirt.

"Eww, aren't you going to shower?" I tease.

He rolls his eyes. "I'm late for work! I'm not going to shower and be more late. Besides,  we still need to get to your apartment so you can get dressed."

"Uggghhhhh..." I groan, rolling myself tighter under the blanket. "Can't you just call off work and we can stay in?"

"Man, Olivia was right. You are grouchy in the morning." He chuckles, scooping my up from the couch. I keep the blanket wrapped around me. "Come on, Riley," He laughs. "I'm really late and Geoff's going to kill me."

"Fine." I grumble. I hop out of his arms and I follow him outside to his car, still wrapped in the blanket. "You're going to keep that, aren't you?" He asks, unlocking the car.

I hop in and don't respond.

"Heh," Ryan chuckles to himself. "That was the first night you spent the night."

"Probably not the last." I say without thinking.

He raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Don't even take that a sexual way." I warn him.

"I didn't say anything!" He laughs. "That was all you!"

"You were thinking it." I stick my tongue out at him.

He shrugs. "Can you blame me?"

"Ryan!" I hit his arm, blushing.

He continues to laugh. Something about his laugh warms my heart.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We rush to Rooster Teeth as soon as I finish getting dressed.

"You're late, asshole." Geoff scolds as we walk in the front door. "Oh, Riley, you're off today? Hi."

"Hi, Geoff," I respond. "It's kinda my fault-"

"Oh, I'm not mad. I don't need an explanation. Just try not to be late again, Ryan."

Ryan nods as he clocks in. "Can do. I'll see you when it's Let's Play time."

Geoff walksback to the Achievement Hunter office. Ryan takes my hand and I follow him to the warehouse.

Lindsay spins around when she sees us come to Ryan's desk. "Hey, guys. Late start?"

"Yeah," Ryan replies, settling in his desk. 

Lindsay slips her headset back on and went back to editing.

I pull up a chair next to Ryan as he starts looking over some papers.

"What's that?" I ask him. 

Translation: Why are you reading when you should be paying attention to me?

"Some research for The Know. I'm guess it's my turn to host." He responds, not looking up from the papers.

"When are you suppose to go film that?"

Translation: Is there any way you can do that later and pay attention to me?

"Soon. While I'm gone, I'll set up a game from you so you won't be bored." He says, still reading.

"Are non employees not allowed while you record stuff like The Know, The Patch, or the Rooster Teeth Podcast and things like that?" I ask.

Translation: I WANNA SEE RYAN READ THE NEWS!!!! HE'LL BE SO CUTE!! HE'LL BE LIKE A LITTLE NEWS ANCHOR!!!

"Uh, usually only employees are allowed on set, but maybe one day, I'll get the okay from the crew to get you back stage."

"Okay, no big deal." I shrug.

Translation: But I wanna go....

He sets down the papers. "So, has Olivia texted about that Brendon guy? Any news?"

I shake my head. "Nothing yet. I don't even want to think about that. I just want to enjoy my last day before I have to see him." I look at the ground. I don't want to see him. I want him to go back to California. I want to go back where things were perfect. Where I could go to work and not worry about him, and have fun with my best friend.

"Riley," He spins his chair to face me. "If you're scared-"

"I'm not scared," I interrupt him. At least, I think I'm not... "I'm not trying to milk this whole "abuse" thing. I'm really not. It wasn't a big deal. I know there are people who go through much worse than I did. And I'm thankful that I got out when I did. It just makes me feel bad that some women- and even men- have to go through something like that. It makes me want to do something about it." I admit.

"You know you can," He says. "Why don't you be like a counselor for abused victims? You seem passionate enough about the subject, and you can relate to what they went through."

I scrunch my nose. "That would require me going back to school. That's not going to happen."

"Okay, then why don't you start auditioning. You were a drama major, right? So why aren't you pursuing that?"

I try to laugh it off. "When did this turn into the Riley's Future show?"

Ryan replies, staying serious. "Because you like acting and you're not doing anything about it. And I can tell you really don't want to go back to the publishing company."

"You're right, okay? I don't want to go back. But I have to at least try. I can't let that asshole run my life." I offer a weak smile. "I won't let him win."

Ryan sighs and plants a kiss on my forehead. "You're a strong girl, Riley Anne Thomas."

"Only a strong girl like me could take on the role of The Mad King's girlfriend." I rub my nose against his.

"I'm going do The Know and get it over with." He takes my hand and stands. "Let's go in the Achievement Hunter office and get a game set up for you."

Ryan and I walk into the Achievement Hunter office, only to find Tabby pacing the room.

"Thank God! People! I won't be alone!" She cheers.

"It's just going to be me. Ryan is going to go do something." I reply. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, Are you doing that new show now?" Ryan asks.

Tabby puts her head down. "I never wanted this stupid solo show."

"Let me explain, Riley," Ryan turns to me. "I'll make a long story short. Tabby has a deal with Geoff that if the viewers like her, she can stay on the Achievement Hunter crew. If not, she's going to be demoted to a behind the scenes woman." He explains. "Jack made a suggestion that we should give her a solo show. Kinda like Michael and his Rage Quits."

"I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for you, Ryan!" Tabby growls. "Remember? "Oh, Geoff, let's make it interesting!" You started the whole conversation!"

Ryan simply shrugs. "Be more interesting. Then the audience wouldn't hate you so much." He teases.

"What's the angle for the show?" I ask her.

"They're making me play scary games and they want to make reaction videos and stuff like that." Tabby groans. "I'm about to record the first episode. If Geoff likes it, he's posting it. I'm terrified of stuff like this. But if someone is in the room with me, I'll have the courage to at least start it."

Ryan pauses. "Tabby, would you allow Riley to play with you? You won't be as scared then, right?"

"If she wants to play, then that would be great! Riley, what do you think?" Tabby turns to me.

"I would love to play, but it's suppose to be your show. Shouldn't you play alone or that defeats the purpose?"

"If it's my show, then I want you on as a guest. And the point of the show is for thousands of viewers to see me get scared and chances are I'll probably still freak out." Tabby pouts. "So do you want to to control the walking and I'll control the mouse?"

I nod. "Sounds good."

"I'll let you two get to work. Bye, Riley." Ryan kisses me on the forehead before leaving the office.

"What game are you assigned to play for the first episode?" 

"Slender: The Arrival. I think Geoff said it's scarier than the original Slender game."

I smack my lips. "The original wasn't scary, anyway."

"It was terrifying!" Tabby whines. "Ray made me play it the other day and I got so scared, I threw the keyboard out of the window!"

"So, I'm guessing that's where the idea for this show came from." I chuckle.

Tabby nods. "Everyone just likes to see me suffer." She starts recording. "Hey, internet! This is Tabby and welcome to my new mini show called Tabby Terrors-"

"Oh, no, that name has got to go." I start laughing.

"Shut up, I'm working on it! And for the first episode, I have a guest. This is Riley." Tabby says in a joking bland tone.

"What up. people! Riley here!" I feel my Twitch streaming energy coarse throw my veins. 

The game starts and Tabby gets dead quiet.

"I'm so glad there's a reaction cam, because you're face right now is priceless." I chuckle.

"Shh... Concentrating...." Tabby shrinks lower into her seat.

"Okay, we need to go into that house first-"

"Why don't we stay outside!" She pouts.

"Because then the game won't progress and the viewers will be bored."

"That's a scary looking house. Why can't scary games ever have nice houses!" Tabby whines.

I chuckle. "Because then it wouldn't be a scary game!"

"I don't wanna play anymore." Tabby fake cries.

"Tabby, are you scared?"

"No!"

I reach around and tap Tabby on her shoulder. 

"Oh dear GOD what was that?!" Tabby shouts.

I let out a laugh. "I think Slender Man is in the room with us."

On cue, Slender Man appears on the monitor.

"HOLY SHIT! THERE HE IS!!!" Tabby flings the mouse across the room.

"Tabby, you need to look the other way! Go get the mouse! I'm trying to avoid him as much as I can!" I try to instruct her.

Tabby retrieves the mouse and turns our character the opposite direction. I make our character sprint.

"See? That wasn't scary, right?" I look over to Tabby. 

Her eyes are almost popping out of her sockets. "I hate this game."

I laugh.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY! I'M DONE!" Tabby screams throwing the mouse.

I laugh. "The game is not that bad!"

"Thanks for tuning in everyone." Tabby says, breathlessly.

"Tabby and Riley, out!" I give the camera my signature smile.

Tabby stops the recording. "I hate scary games! But it would've been scarier if I was alone. Thank you, Riley."

"It's no problem. I'm always glad to help." I nod. I notice that Ryan is still not back.

Tabby checks the footage time. "We have about 20 minutes of footage. That's should be more than enough." Tabby saves everything. "I'll put a link to your Twitch profile and everything."

"Thanks. If you ever want me to guest star again, I'll be more than happy to help out." I say.

"Want to go see Ryan in action? He should still be in the studio area."

"Am I allowed over there?"

Tabby tilts her head. "Why wouldn't you be? Everyone here likes you." Tabby gets up. I follow her out of the office and to the studio.

In the studio, Tabby and I stand behind the cameras, watching Ryan wrap up his segment. "...For more updates in gaming and entertainment, click like and subscribe and we'll keep you in The Know."

Tabby and I silently clap to ourselves when he finishes. Ryan walks off set. Tabby gestures me to go to him. 

I go to meet him. His eyes light up when he sees me. "I didn't expect you to be here. Did Tabby sneak you on?" 

"I had no problem. I didn't even need Tabby." I chuckle. 

"So how did that recording go?" He asks.

"It was fun! I really hope Tabby invites me back on soon." I cross my fingers.

"I'm glad you had fun." He smiles. "I can't wait to see the video."

"Yeah, I can't wait to see how it turns out." I smile back.

Ryan tucks my hair behind my ear. I feel my pulse quicken. I like this feeling. I like this moment. Something about that famous smile makes my heart beat faster. I want us to stay like this forever. Talking, smiling, having no worries in the world and just enjoying being together. But I know once I leave Ryan's presence, that happiness I feel goes away.

"Let's head back to the office." He takes my hand and leads me to the Achievement Hunter office. Geoff is sitting at his desk, watching the footage of the game play Tabby and I recorded not too long ago.

"Is that the show?" Ryan asks as we walk in.

"It's obviously not edited yet. Hell, this is so funny, it would be a shame to cut any of it out. And, Riley, funny shit, dude. I love the dynamic between you two. It's like Tabby is the spazzy funny side and you are the calm that makes fun of Tabby. This is great stuff." Geoff raves on.

"Thanks, Geoff." I can't help but smile.

"You know," Ryan clears his throat. "If the dynamic is so great, why not let Riley be a permanent part of the show."

I feel my eyes perk up. Is this really happening?

Geoff pauses. "You realize for that to happen, I would have to hire her." Ryan and I wait for Geoff to continue. "Which is what I was planning on doing, anyway. So, Riley, you don't have to decide right away, but the job is available to you."

I can't hold back my smile "That's amazing! Thank you sooo much, Geoff! I will definitely consider taking the job."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Today was such a great day!" I sing as Ryan drives me home.

He chuckles. "You seem to be in a very good mood. And for that, I am glad."

"How could I not be in a good mood?" I grin. "I got to spend time with you and I got offered my dream job." I hear my phone ringing in my bag. I haven't checked my phone all day. I'll check it when I get into the apartment.

"I mean, the day doesn't have to end yet," Ryan mutters. "You could stay over again." I can see a blush spread across his face.

I giggle. "As tempting as that sounds, I probably shouldn't." 

Ryan pulls up to my apartment curb. "Why, you don't trust me?" He jokes, trying to sound offended.

Because I'm in such a good mood, I decide to mess with him. I give him a seductive look. "No. I wouldn't trust myself."

"God damn it, Riley." He leans his head back on the head rest. "Don't do that."

I unbuckle my seat belt and lean over to Ryan, pressing my lips against his. He slips his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. My hands rest on his chest.

Ryan pulls back. "Okay,  _now_  I wouldn't trust myself." he laughs.

I give him one last peck on the lips before saying goodbye.I step out of the car. My phone starts ringing again as he drives off. I take out my phone. Several missed calls from Olivia.

I answer the phone. Before I could say hello, she shouts "Why haven't you been answering your phone! This is super important! Brendon found out your address!"

Annnnnd there goes my perfect day...

"How did he find out?" I ask, walking up the steps. to my apartment.

"Madison told him. I don't know if this is good or bad but I'm just letting you know, he might be stopping by sometime this week."

As I listen to Olivia, I notice a man standing by my apartment.

Thinking someone was lost or needed help, I say "May I help you with something, sir?"

The man turns around. Jet black hair, piercing green eyes. It was Brendon.


	9. Am I Being Kidnapped?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley is left to deal with Brendon at her doorstep. Will someone come to her rescue? (Meanwhile, when's the last time Riley talked to her parents?)

"You need to leave." I growl, trying to sound intimidating.

"I just want to talk-"

"I don't want you anywhere near me. That's fine if we have to work together, but I will not put up with you outside of that. Leave now." I feel my body begin to shake. Don't show fear, stay strong and he will leave.

I almost forgot that Olivia is still on the phone. "Riley, what's going on? Is that Brendon? I'm coming over right now." Olivia hangs up.

"I see you're still angry, but let me explain-" He pleads.

"You're ass is getting kicked if you don't leave in the next minute." I threaten.

"Just let's go in the house and we can talk this out."

"I'm not inviting you into my house." I glare.

Brendon pulls out his keys. "Then let's go somewhere public. Somewhere you won't feel threatened. Okay? I just want to talk."

I'm safe in public, right? "....Let's go." I sigh. It's always been like this. He always gets his way.

I send a text to Olivia as I follow Brendon to his car.

_Riley: I'm not going to be home. The asshole won't leave unless I talk with him._

She quickly responds.

_Olivia: So you left with him?! Why didn't you call the cops?! Where is he taking you?!_

"Where are we going?" I ask in a monotone voice.

"Well, I was hoping you would direct me somewhere. I'm still new here." He scratches the back of his head. "Where would you like to go?"

Olivia texts again.

_Olivia: Well?_

_Riley: Willow Parks. There will be plenty of people there._

"Go straight down this street and then take the third left." I instruct him, avoiding eye contact. 

He starts the car and begins driving. "It's really nice see you again." Brendon smiles.

"I can't say the same." I mumble.

He nods. "I deserve that."

"Yeah," I snap. "You do."

"You didn't really change since the last time I saw you," He says. "Still as stubborn and beautiful as ever."

"What exactly do you want? Why did you move here?" I don't want to hear any compliments from him.

"For you, of course. We promised. We would move out here to Texas together and get hired at Rooster Teeth. That was our dream, remember?" 

"That dream died when I left you." I growl. "You had no right to come here."

"I have every right to come here. I don't need your permission to move anywhere." He states. "Oh, you know, I still watch your streams-"

"That really doesn't matter to me." I shoot him a glare.

"On Isaac's Birthday stream, I heard you went to the Rooster Teeth office. How was that?" He smiles.

"It was nice. I got to meet everyone." I cross my arms. So far, he's not threatening. He's like the old Brendon, before college.

"I might take the tour there soon." He nods. "Want to come with me? I know you already went, but if we want to get hired there, we need to start making ourselves known there."

I bite my lip. I'm debating if I should tell him. "Actually, I already was offered a job. Geoff wants to hire me part time to do a show with the new girl, Tabby."

Brendon's face lights up. "That's great, Riley! I'm so happy for you! I'm glad one of us made it."

After guiding him there, Brendon pulls up to the park. We step out of the car. "Why here?" He asks.

"It's the first thing that came to mind." I tell him. Also, it's close to my apartment, so if I need to make a run for it, I can run home.

We walk to a nearby bench and sit. "I went to anger management after you left." He tells me.

"Yeah? How was that?"

"Stupid at first. But I think it really helped. I went to a therapist as well."

"That's really great, but why are you telling me this?"

"I want you to know that I'm sorry, and I'm trying to fix myself. What I did wasn't right." He lowers his head. "But I'm working on it. We really had something special."

"We did." I start to remember all the fun times we had. I remember staying up late to talk on the phone, walking on the beach, sneaking out late at night. He was even there for me the night Isaac passed away. There are times when I miss all of that. But then I force myself to remember what he did to me. 

"We were two kids in love." He stretches and rests his arms on the bench. I mean, his arm is technically around me, but what am I going to tell him? To stop resting his arms on the bench? I can't do anything about that.

"But that's over now." I shrug. Our past can't be unwritten. The way I used to feel about him can't be helped. 

But I can stop myself from feeling that way again. Ryan. Think about Ryan.

"It doesn't have to be." Brendon leans in. "I'm not saying you have to take me back now, but if I can prove to you that I changed, is there anyway we could get that back?"

My heart begins to pound in my chest. This is not good. I scoot away. Ryan. My Ryan. I have Ryan and I don't need Brendon back. "That's not going to happen anymore."

"Why not?" Brendon scoots closer. "Look at me and tell me that you don't miss the old us? We could be those two again if you give me the chance to prove myself." 

I find myself getting lost in his green eyes. "I-" I struggle to find something to say. Ryan. I'm with Ryan. "I'm actually seeing someone right now."

Brendon starts to laugh, then bites his lip to stop himself.

"Is that funny?" I cross my arms.

"No, not at all, it's just we have history. Who could you possibly be picking over me, an old friend who loves you deeply? I would like to know who you're with."

"That would be me." A menacing voice causes me and Brendon to jump. I look up. There's my Ryan, standing over me and Brendon. He looks calm, but I can see the flames in dancing in his eyes.

"Ryan!" I leap off the bench and into his arms. I bury my face into his chest. Ryan wraps a protective arm around me.

"Olivia texted and said you were in the park, so since I was still in the area, I decided to swing by." He strokes my hair. He shoots a look at Brendon. "And you must be Brendon." His voice sends a shiver down my spine. He does not sound happy.

"Seriously, Riley?" Brendon lets out a small laugh."Ryan from Achievement Hunter? Is this the guy your seeing?"

"Yes, he is. Got a problem with that?" I snap.

Brendon closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "No problem here. I'm happy for you." He says. "But we aren't done talking soooo..." Brendon pauses. I assume he was waiting for Ryan to leave. 

Ryan doesn't budge. "Oh, don't mind me. Please continue." He smiles.

Brendon and Ryan lock stares. "Actually," He smiles back. "I'd prefer if it went back to just being me and Riley."

"I'm sure you do," Ryan tilts his head, still smiling. "But it's kinda up to Riley if she wants me to stay or leave."

Still smiling, Brendon crosses his arms. "Well then, Riley, tell him to go."

I look back and forth between Ryan and Brendon. They are locked into some kind of weird smiling contest. They're both trying to tell the other to buzz off in the nicest way possible.

"Riley, if you want to leave, we can." Ryan grits his teeth.

I tug on his shirt. "Lets go."

Ryan brings my hand to his lips and kiss it. "Come along." He leads me towards his car.

"This isn't over, Riley!" Brendon shouts behind us. "I'm not giving up!"

"That better not be a fucking threat." Ryan mumbles.

"Hm? What was that?" I look up to him.

He looks to me and smiles. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

We hop in his car and he drives away from the park. "So why didn't you call me?" Ryan brings it up nonchalantly.

"I didn't know you wanted me to call." I shrug.

Ryan grips the steering wheel. "I told you I would protect you," He says, trying to sound calm. "How do I do that if you're alone with him."

I tilt my head. "Ryan, are you.... angry with me?"

Ryan shakes his head. "Nope."

"It seems like it."

"Well," He says blankly. "I'm not."

"Okay, if you say so." I say, even though I know he's lying.

Ryan passes my apartment. "Uh, Ryan? You passed it."

"You aren't going back there tonight. I don't trust that." He shakes his head.

"Am I being kidnapped?" I ask.

"Yep."

"I'm surprisingly okay with this."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan unlocks the front door and he leads me into his house. I instantly head for the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" He follows me.

"I'm going to make us dinner." I smile proudly.

"Uh..." Ryan pushes his hair back. "You don't have to. I can make us something."

"Don't be silly! I got this!" I assure him, looking around in his cabinets. I notice Ryan is still in the kitchen. "You don't have to baby sit me. I know where everything is."

"Uh, I know. I'm just seeing what you're making." He says slowly.

"You don't think I can cook, do you?"

"I never said that."

"You didn't deny it." I argue.

Ryan backs out of the kitchen. "Fine, I trust you. I'll leave you be." He plops on the couch and turns on his Xbox.

I stare into the cabinets. Oh, that's right. I can't cook. Well, this should be an adventure.

I manage to find some pasta. That should be easy, right? Make the sauce and make steamed veggies for the side dish. Sounds easy to me.

In his cabinets, I find a can of mixed vegetables. Perfect! Less work for me! I open the can, empty it into a pot and let them cook onto the stove.

From the living room, I can see Ryan stealing glances into the kitchen. "Um, Riley-"

"No peeking!" I scold. "I want it to be a surprise."

"But-"

"No. Peeking."

Ryan sighs and continues his game.

I start boiling water for the pasta. While that's heating up, I search the fridge for something I can use for a sauce. This is easier than I thought. I feel like a housewife. I can almost picture our future together.

A fizzle noise breaks me from my daydream. My head whips over to the stove. The boiling water was bubbling out of the pot! "OH GOD NO!!!!" I shout as I run to turn off the burner under the water.

Ryan's head perks up. "What's wrong?!"

"NOTHING! DON'TWORRY! IT'S A SURPRISE! NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT HERE!!" I shout, trying to look for a towel to wipe up the water that's seeping into the stove.

"Why do I smell something burning?!" Ryan is now leaping off the couch and rushing to the kitchen. "What did you do?!"

In my panic with the water, I forgot to watch the vegetables!

Ryan quickly switches off the stove. Ryan sighs a breath of relief, wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up. He carries me to the couch. He sets me down. "Let me take care of dinner." He says. As soon as he turns his back to me, he burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" I shout, hiding my face into a pillow. "I really did try!"

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm sorry I almost burned your house down." I sigh after dinner. "I just wanted to do something nice."

He chuckles. "No harm done." He puts away the last of the dishes. "It's getting late. Shall we head to bed?"

I look at the clock. 11:57 P.M. "Yeah," I say walking to the couch.

"Where are you going?" He tilts his head.

"Uh, am I not sleeping on the couch?"

"Nope," he chuckles and lifts me up bridal style. "You're coming up with me."

I rest my head on his shoulder.

Once we reach his room, Ryan sets me down. I go to the dresser, looking for something to wear to sleep.

"You could sleep naked. I won't have any complaints about that."

A blush sweeps across my face. "Not happening!" I shout.

Ryan lfts up his shirt and starts undoing his belt. I turn away instantly. 

He laughs. "I'm just getting ready for bed. I'm not trying to suggest anything."

I keep my back to him. "Just let me know when it's safe." I grumble. 

I'm drawn to the picture of his ex-wife. I pick up the picture. 

"That's Sarah," Ryan says creeping up behind me.

"I know. I found the picture last time I was here." I admit. I want to ask why he still has her picture, but I feel like that can wait for another day.

"It's safe to look, by the way." Ryan says.

I turn around. He's wearing nothing but boxers. My eyes study his body. Realizing what I'm doing, I spin back around. "That's not safe!" I whine.

"Hey, I usually sleep naked. You're lucky I wore the boxers because I know how nervous you are with stuff like this." he says. "What, am I that out of shape?" 

I turn back around. "No, not at all. I just don't know how to act around you, that's all."

Ryan tosses me a pair of sweats and a shirt. I wait for him to turn around. He groans and faces the other way.

"This is torture." He mumbles.

"I can hear you." I giggle as I get undressed. I throw on the shirt. It's long enough to cover everything up to my mid thigh. "I'm good now." I tell him, climbing into bed. 

His eyes scan my body. "You're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

"What?" I shrug.

He shakes his head. "Never mind." He flips out the light and slides in bed next to me.

I'm laying as close to the edge as possible. Ryan chuckles. "Come closer," he pulls next to him. "You're going to fall off the edge."

Ryan holds me flush against him. He nose brushes against mine. "Isn't that better?" He runs his hand up and down the side of my stomach to my hip.

I blush. "Yeah.." I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. 

Ryan hesitates as he leans in. "I don't think I ever told you how beautiful you are." He says before locking his lips with mine. His hands travel to my back, while mine holds on to his arms.

I feel if I could be any happier right now, my heart would bust out of my chest. I want to stay like this. I can't imagine kissing anyone else but Ryan for the rest of my life.

Ryan rolls on top of me, the passion of the kiss increasing. Our breathing starts becoming ragged. Ryan leaves trails of kisses down to my neck.

"You're shaking." He gasps out in between kiss.

"Great observation." I giggle, combing my fingers through his hair.

A light brightens up the corner of the room. I remember that's where I left my phone. "I should probably get that," I say, pulling away.

Ryan sighs and let's me up. "You know, I'm not even surprised right now." He laughs, breathlessly. "Let me guess, It's Olivia."

I frown at the screen. "It's my mom. Why is she calling so late?" I answer the phone. "Mom?"

"I just got off the phone with Brendon. Why didn't you tell me you had a boyfriend?" She scolds.

I gulp. "Mom, I-"

"Brendon told us all about him. Your father and I even looked him up. This Ryan fellow is too old for someone like you, young lady."

I slap my forehead. THIS is the downside to dating a slightly Internet famous person. Ryan gets out of bed and flips on the light.

I hear my Dad's faint voice in the background. "Let me talk to her."

"Here," Mom says. "You're father wants to speak with you."

Mom hands Dad the phone. "Riley? Honey, why didn't you tell us?"

I look over to Ryan. He gives me a concerned look.

"I was going to." I assure him. "It's still kinda recent."

"...Do you like him?" Dad asks awkwardly.

"Of course. Why else would I be with him?" I say in a joking tone.

"Why don't you two come visit. I'd like to meet him."

"Okay, Dad."

"We'll talk more tomorrow. Get some sleep."

"Goodnight, Dad." I hang up the phone.

"Uh... so what happened?"

"They want to meet you..." I say slowly.

Ryan nods. "Okay."

"Okay? That's it?"

"Yeah. I can take a week off and we can drive there."

"You're not freaked out by this?"

Ryan shakes his head "Why would I be?" He flips of the light and we climb back into bed.

"I don't know." I shrug. "Soooo...." I scoot closer. "Shall we continue?"

Ryan pulls me close and presses his lips against mine firmly. 

Then the asshole pulls away and cuddles me instead. "Good night, Riley." I can hear the smug tone in his voice.

"I hate you...." I growl.


	10. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan, Riley, and Olivia head on the road to California.

Ryan took off a week and a half for the trip. Now, two weeks passed and it's 4:30 A.M. I grumble as Ryan's alarm clock sets off. I cover my head with my pillow. I feel the bed shift. Ryan must be moving to turn off the alarm.Once the beeping stops, I feel Ryan's body snuggle up behind me. 

"Time to get up." He says, planting kisses on the back of my shoulder.

I try to wiggle away. "No." I mumble.

 He pulls me back to him, rolling me on my back. "Riley. Get up." 

"Ryan. No." My eye lids feel heavy.

"Come on. You can sleep in the car." Ryan gets out of bed. I roll myself tighter in the covers. "Riley," Ryan calls. "We need to wake Olivia up and load the car. We have a long drive."

Yeah, Olivia somehow wormed her way onto this trip. We figured it would be best to sleep at Ryan's house so we can just wake up, pack up, and go.

"No." I grumble.

"Maybe a shower together will wake you up?"

"Don't be a pervert."

Ryan laughs. "Okay, well you can shower after me. But you better be up by the time I get out."

I lift my head. "Or what?" I squint my eyes at him.

He smirks. "I'll come back in bed with you," He crosses his arms. "Right out of the shower. No clothes, no towel."

I debate on telling him that the thought is only tempting me to just lay in bed longer. I decide against it. "Just go take your shower." I wave him away and lay my head back down on the pillow.

It seems as soon as my eyes close, Ryan is gently shaking my shoulder. "Bathroom is all yours. I'll start loading in our bags and then make us some breakfast."

I lift my head. I wait for my vision to be less blurry. "Done already?"

"You fell back asleep. I also brought our luggage out to the car."

I sit up and stretch. "I didn't get a proper good morning." I frown.

Ryan hovers over me and leans in. "Good morning." He says softly before pressing his lips to mine.

"Was that so hard?" I asked before heading into the bathroom.

"It is when your you have a grumpy girlfriend." He shouts as he leaves the room.

After brushing my teeth and showering, I walk downstairs. Olivia is still passed out on the couch. I sit on her. "Get up."

"Okaaaaaaayyyyy, just get offffffffff." She whines. When I move, she crawls out of the covers and heads to the bathroom.

I walk into the kitchen with Ryan. He sets a plate of french toast with powdered sugar on the table. 

"Thank you." I kiss him on the cheek before sitting down. 

Olivia skips into the kitchen, dressed and ready to go. "Good morning, all!" She chirps.

"Good morning," Ryan sets down a plate for Olivia and pours some coffee. "You guys eat, I'm going to start loading the bags. Olivia, where's your stuff?"

Olivia points to the two suitcases in the corner of the living room.

Ryan picks up her bags and headed outside.

"So, what's the game plan when we get there? We're staying at your parents, right?" Olivia starts poking at her food.

"I ask my parents if Ryan could stay in the guest room but they said he couldn't so instead, Ryan booked two hotel rooms." I say in between bites of french toast.

"But I miss spending the night in your room! I miss our sleepovers!" She whines.

"Hey, if Ryan can't stay, then neither can we." I cross my arms.

"Did they at least give a reason why he can't stay?" 

"I think they said the guest room was occupied. I think they mean that they're now using it for a storage room." I shrug. 

Ryan comes back into the house. "Are we all set? All the bags are in the trunk."

I finish my food and wash my plate. "Ryan, aren't you going to eat?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll eat later."

"You better." I warn him. We pile into the car and start driving.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olivia is passed out in the back seat.  We're driving down the highway, windows are rolled down to allow the warm Arizona air whiz around in the car. I'm in the front seat, snapping pictures of every mountain, the deserts, and every cliff we pass.

"Babe, you've been driving for about thirteen hours. Let me drive for a bit." I pout. I'm sure he's getting tired by now.

Ryan shakes his head. "You're busy. Besides, I'm not even tired yet. The agreement was we switch off every time we get tired."

"I'm taking pictures! That's not busy! And I haven't driven once!" I argue.

"Just keep taking pictures. Don't worry about driving."

I roll my eyes a turn up the music. I burned a CD for our trip. I find myself singing along when my favorite song, Meteor Shower by Owl City comes on. It's a great song. I wish it was longer.

_I can finally see, that you're right there, beside me_

_I am not my own, for I have been made new_

_Please don't let me go, I desperately need you_

I start to notice another voice singing along. A deeper voice.

"Ryan? Are you singing?"

He deadpans. "No."

I grin. "Yes, you are!"

"I hate this kind of stuff." He grumbles. "It's annoying yet it's catchy so you have to sing along."

"Owl City is not annoying, sir."

"All his songs sound the same to me. Sorry. Not my kind of music."

"Well, I love Owl City. He's the best." I stick my tongue out at him.

Ryan smiles. "I will admit," He says. "Out of all the crap this guy puts out, this song isn't so crappy. It's nice. Sounds even better when you're the one singing to me."

I raise an eyebrow. "Who the hell said I was singing to you?" I laugh. "This has nothing to do with us."

"If you say so." He chuckles.

Olivia sticks her head up front. "I have to pee."

"Jesus, Olivia." I groan. 

"There's a rest stop up ahead. We can stretch our legs and Olivia can go. For the hundreth time." Ryan says in a bland tone.

Ryan pulls into the rest stop. As soon as the car is in park, Olivia jumps out of the car "GOTTA PEE!" She shouts, rushing the the bathrooms.

I step out of the car. Other tourist surround the area. Most people gather around the railing snapping pictures. The rest stop is next to a canyon. I walk to the railing to get a better look. A vast amount of steep orange, brown and grey structures unfold before me. I start snapping some pictures.

Ryan walks up next to me, with his hands in his pockets. "Don't drop the camera." He warns.

"Why are you more concerned about that camera than me?!"

"Oh, right. Try not to fall in. I would have to explain to your parents why I came to their house without you and that would be awkward."

"Gee, how romantic." I roll my eyes.

Ryan lets out a laugh and wraps his arms around me. "Is this better?"

"Much better." I lean forward, pressing my lips to his. I feel him smile into the kiss.

I pull away. "Let's take a picture together."

"Fine," Ryan sighs. "Only because you said so." Ryan positions himself behind me and warps his arms around my waist. He drops his head on my shoulder. 

I hold the camera up and snap a picture. "I think that came out nice," I say after examining the photo. "What do you think?" I hold the camera to him.

"You look beautiful as always." He smiles.

Ryan and I didn't even notice Olivia walk up. "Did you seriously take a selfie with Ryan?"

I roll my eyes. "Don't start." We all head back into the car. I jump into the driver's seat. 

"No." Ryan shakes his head, standing by the driver's side.

"Los Angeles is only four hours away. I know this area better than you do. Please?" I beg.

Ryan sighs and hops into the passenger's side. "I'm holding you to that comment. We better not get lost."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Man! I missed this!" Olivia sticks her head out the window, her hair whipping around in the cool California night air. "I wish my parents still lived here. I would have totally visited them while we were here!" 

We arrive at my parents house around nine. My mother greets us at the door. "Hello, sweetie! Come in! Olivia, it's been so long!" She hugs us. She turns to Ryan.

"Hello, Mrs. Thomas," He smiles. "I'm Ryan Haywood."

"I'm aware." She says in a blank tone.

Ryan's face drops and he's speechless. Shit, this is already going bad.

"Mother," I glare.

"It's late, but I can heat up some dinner for you." Mom walks into the kitchen, pretending not to notice my glare.

We follow her into the kitchen. It seems so long since I've seen the tacky orange wall paper and wooden floors. As much as I didn't care for her taste, the place makes me feel nostalgia for my childhood.

Dad walks into the kitchen. "Riley!" He give me a bright smile, his voice still thick with a Alabama accent.

"Hi, Daddy!" I run into his arms.

Dad turns to Ryan. "Ryan, nice to meet you."

Ryan shakes his hand. "Nice to meet you, too, Mr. Thomas."

"Just call my Rob. I see you've met my wife, Sylvia."

"Mrs. Thomas will do." She says in a snappy tone.

Dad awkwardly turns back to Ryan. "I'm sorry you had to get a hotel. Sylvia already promised the room to Brendon and all and-"

"WAIT!! WHAT??!!!" I scream.

Olivia's mouth drops open. 

Dad freezes and his eyes dart to Mom. "You told me she knew he was here. You said she was fine with it."

Mom continued to heat up food. 

"Mother," I growl. "Is Brendon here?"

"I asked him to come visit." She shrugs. That's it. This trip is ruined.

"On the day that I'M here?!" I feel a lump rising in my throat.

Mom waves her hand. "What's the big deal? I had plans for him to come out here before we told you to come visit. It just so happened to be on the same weekend."

Speaking of the bastard, Brendon saunters down the steps. "I thought I heard you! Hello, Olivia. Hello, Riley." He looks at Ryan and nods hello. "Ryan."

I pull Olivia and Ryan by the hands. "Let's go." I growl.

"Go? Sweetie, you just got here. Aren't you and Olivia staying?" Mom places her hands on her hips.

"I'll walk you to the door." Dad follows behind us.

Outside, I begin to rant. "She planned this! This is bull!"

"Honey," Dad assures me. "I had no idea. If I knew she would do something like this, I would have told you."

"I know, Dad." I know it's not his fault. This type of thing coming from my mom doesn't surprise me. I feel myself on the verge of tears. This trip was suppose to be perfect. Ryan meets Mom and Dad, Olivia and I would go hang out with our old gang. but Brendon had to ruin everything.

"Please don't let this ruin the trip. You're mom and I are thrilled to see ya'll. Just try and cool don tonight and we'll talk in the morning." Dad says in a calm voice. He always knew what to say in a bad situation. "Ryan," He shakes his hand. "I'm sorry about all this. Hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to talk more. See ya'll in the morning." Dad stands in the drive way as we get into Ryan's car, and drives off.

 The car ride is silent until Olivia speaks. "So.... That happened.."

If I speak, I'm afraid I'll break down crying.

"We can just avoid him. We can't control that he's here, but we can control if we see him or not." Ryan huffs.

We arrive at the hotel, grab our bags and check in. I follow Ryan to our room. 

"I'm sorry," my voice wavers. Tears start welling up in my eyes "I really didn't think he was going to be here. I'm so embarrassed that my mom is acting this way." Tears trickle down my face. Damn, I hate crying in front of people. "I just wanted our first trip together to be perfect. I-"

Ryan cups his hands around my face, pulling me into a passionate kiss. He tugs my bottom lip as he pulls away. "Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. And this will be perfect," he wipes his thumb across my cheeks and looks into my eyes. "Nothing is going to ruin this trip. I have you and that's all I need. I promise this will still be fun." he kisses me again.

He pulls away so we could get ready for bed. We crawl under the covers. I'm getting sick of this. Everything is perfect when I'm with Ryan, then Brendon pulls something to ruin it all. That's just like him. Brendon always gets his way. 

After tossing and turning, Ryan sleepily drapes his arms around me "I know it's hard, but try and get some sleep." He says, his voice deeper and sluggish. I give him a quick peck on the lips and finally manage to fall asleep in Ryan's arms.


	11. All I Need is You

So much for avoiding Brendon. 

We're meeting my parents for breakfast at a restaurant and guess who else is sitting at the table, right next to my folks? Yeah, that would be Brendon.

I can feel Ryan's annoyance radiate in the room. I tug on his sleeve. He looks to me and the annoyance disappears. He smiles and locks arms with me as we approach the table. Brendon's face drops. Mom rolls her eyes.

"Good morning Mom, Dad." I nod.

They greet us all. Ryan pulls out my chair for me. Dad nods in approval.

"This was Riley's favorite restaurant as a kid." Dad says to Ryan.

Ryan nods. "Seems like a nice place."

"Mrs. Thomas," Olivia chirps. "I'm so glad you invited us to visit. I'm happy to be back in California!"

"I'm happy you, Brendon and Riley could make it!" Mom sounds equally excited.

Ryan drove us here. We wouldn't have made it without him. How could she blatantly ignore him? Before I could say anything, I feel a hand on my thigh. I turn to Ryan and he shakes his head.

"So, Ryan," Dad breaks the silence. "What do you do again? I'm a little old. I didn't quite understand." He laughs.

"He plays video games all day." Brendon smirks.

"Shut your mouth." I scowl. 

"That's not all," Ryan gloats. "I also co-host a news show about gaming, technology, and entertainment."

"Fancy," Dad raises his eyebrows. "That's such a cool young job. I'm just a boring old art teacher at the local high school."

"That's not boring." Ryan says.

I'm amazed that Ryan and Dad are getting along so well.

"You know, Riley watched the Achievement Hunter channel you got. You were her favorite."

"Oh, really?" Ryan turns to me with a smirk on his face.

Okay, time for them to stop getting along.

"Dad," I beg.

"What?" He laughs. "It's true!"

"So," Mom clears her throat. "Riley, some of the neighbors wanted to stop by and see you and Olivia. They haven't seen you since you moved. They're coming by around 3."

"That's fine." I answer dryly.

Mom turns to Brendon. "Oh, they're going to be happy to see you, too! I think they would be happier if Riley just went back out with you."

"Mom," I warn her. "Stop it."

"Sorry, that was out of line-" Mom apologizes.

"Just that?" I snap. "Try everything you've said since we got here."

"Riley," Dad scolds.

I grumble and continue to look at the menu. This is going to be a long breakfast.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After breakfast, I managed to get out of hanging with my parents and Brendon for the day. We told them we wanted to take Ryan sightseeing. Once back at the hotel, I stomp into the room. "I hate her!" I rant.

"You do not hate her," Ryan tries to calm me. "You're just upset."

"I don't understand how she can treat you like that!" I plop on the bed. "Why can't they see how awesome you are?"

Ryan comes to the edge on the bed and stands in between my legs. "It would be nice if they liked me, but I don't need their approval." He takes my face in his hands and leans in. "All I need is you, remember?" He kisses my forehead. "Now, what do you want to do before we have to go to your parents'?"

"Beach!" I shout. I jump up and start digging through my bag.

Ryan sighs and sits on the bed. "I don't know..."

"Oh, come on!" I beg. "Venice is only half an hour away! We can go for two or three hours, then come back and we will have plenty of time to go to Mom and Dad's."

Ryan gets up and searches through his bag. "I don't think I brought swim trunks."

"I packed them for you." I went through his bag and pulled out his swim trunks.

Ryan mumbles and heads to the bathroom. "Fine, go ask Olivia if she's coming."

"I'll just text her."

_Riley: We're going to the beach. You coming?_

_Olivia: Stay in your room_

I blink at my phone. What does she mean?

_Riley: Huh?_

_Olivia: Your mother dropped Brendon at the hotel. I told him that you guys already left. I'll keep Brendon busy._

I start undressing to put on my bikini. I got the bottoms on. As I'm working on putting on the top, Ryan comes out of the bathroom.

"Is Olivia-" He pauses when he sees me. "Oh, uh," He blushes. "Wow," He eyes me for a moment before looking away. I try to cover up but it's too late. "Sorry." He pushes his hair back.

I tie up my top. "It's safe to look." I feel the heat rising to my cheeks. "Uh, Olivia isn't coming with us. Brendon showed up to the hotel so Olivia is going to tell us when we can leave."

Ryan steps closer to me with a mischievous smile. "I guess we'll find something to pass the time." He hooks an arm around my waist and pulls me to him. He brings his lips to my ear. "Hmmm... What shall we do?" He whispers. His teeth graze my ear and he starts to nibble. He moves down to my neck. Every little bite and touch set my body aflame. He pulls away. "Want to find out why I'm called the Mad King?" He pants. I nod. "Bed." He demands and nods his head towards the bed. I gulp and obey. I back up onto the bed. Ryan crawls on top. He eases into a kiss as he slides over me. He's being more forceful and needy, which causes a moan to slip from my mouth. He smiles, pleased at the effect he's having on me. I can feel his erection forming. I lift my hips for more contact. My mind races. Every touch makes me want more, although he's only keeping his hands to the side. Desperate for his touch, I guide his hands to my breasts. Ryan pulls away and sits back up.

I prop myself up on my elbows. "... Are you okay?" I'm confused. He wanted this a second ago.

"I'm fine." 

"Then why'd you stop?" I ask. I hate myself for sounding desperate.

He climbs off of me and lays next to me. He snakes an arm around me. "Not like this." He brushes my hair with a free hand. "As much as I want to have sex with you, I wouldn't feel right if it happened now."

I scrunch my eyebrows. "What's wrong with right now? You weren't forcing me. I'm more than willing."

"You're stressing out about your mom-"

"Yeah," I cut him off. "What better way to relieve some stress!"

"I want you to be sure about me." He chooses his words carefully. "I don't want you to regret it. I don't want you to think it was too soon, or that you were being used. I want something special for us."

As irritated as I am, he makes sense. I roll my eyes. "I guess your right." I mumble.

"We will need more time to talk about this." He leans in for a sweet kiss. We get off the bed.

"I'll admit, you have amazing self control."

"It's not easy. Especially when you just walked in on your girlfriend changing." He half smiles.

Olivia texts me. 

_Olivia: I'm taking Brendon around town. It's safe for you guys to leave. I'll update more if I need to._

_Riley: Thanks._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Let's go!" I shout, running away from the car.

"Hold on!" Ryan jogs to catch up.

The scorching sand doesn't bother me, but as soon as Ryan reaches it, I hear him grumbling under his breath "Ow. Stupid sand. Ow."

"You're not a beach person, are you?" I giggle.

"I don't mind it." He shrugs.

The beach is crowded, but we manage to find a spot right by the ocean. Ryan spreads out a blanket. I take off my cover up. I set down my beach bag and sprint to the water. The water sloshes around me. "Ryan! Come on!" I shout over my shoulder. I walk until the water reaches my chest.

Ryan takes of his shirt and drags his feet to the water. He makes me no hurry to catch up to me. "Now what?"

"Now we have fun!" I splash his with water.

Ryan looks down at his now wet body. "Weeeeee...." He sarcastically smiles.

"Fine," I rest my hands on my hips. "What do you want to do?"

Ryan starts rubbing the scruff on his chin. "I don't know."

I sigh. "Want to just walk on the beach?"

Ryan nods and he start heading towards land. We pack up and start heading towards the little shops near the beach. We hold hands as we walk. "These places usually have some cool stuff." I beam.

"Let's go in one." He leads me into a store. We separate. Now's my chance to get him something! I scan around the store. What should I get him?

I peek over some of the shelves. A tall, mature looking 30- something woman was flirting hard core with some guy. She flips her blonde hair. Something seems familiar about her, but I don't think I've ever met her. "How desperate." I chuckle. "Who is she trying to get?" I lean over to see who she's talking to. I swallow hard when I see that it's Ryan.

I use the shelves as cover as I get closer to lean in.

"-So what's your name?

"Ryan." He sounds bored and uninterested. I'm glad I never have to worry about him flirting with other girls.

"Are you from around here?"

"No, I'm meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time." He's trying to be nice, but emphasizes the word "girlfriend".

"So listen, I'm going to a friend's house later and I don't think they would mind if I brought someone to keep me company." She starts stroking his arm.

Ryan shrugs her off. "Oh, thanks for the offer, but I'm sure your friends will keep you plenty of company." He smiles and starts walking into another aisle. "Besides, I have plans tonight."

 I knew I shouldn've made him put his shirt back on! His muscle-y arms are too much for women to handle!

The woman follows behind him. "What plans could be more fun than spending some time with me?" She gives him a flirty laugh.

"Listen, I should go. My girlfriend is probably looking for me." Ryan tries to dash away. She grabs his hand.

"Wait!" She reaches in her purse and pulls out a pen. She writes something on his hand. "In case you change your mind." She winks and walks away.

Ryan rolls his eyes and starts looking around the store. He spots me peeking from the shelf. "There you are!" he speeds over to me. "Let's get out of here and come back another day. I'm a little weirded out right now."

I take hold of his hand as we walk back towards the car. "Pretty blondes are too scary for you?" I chuckle.

"She was so pushy!" He rants. "She forced her phone number on me. I feel like if I didn't leave when I did, she would try to drug me and rape me or something." Ryan tried erasing the number from his hand. "Help me, it won't come off!"

I laugh. The entire car ride back to the hotel, I kept wondering why she seemed so familiar to me.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on in, guys!" Mom opens the door for me and Ryan. "People are already starting to arrive."

Olivia and Brendon follow behind us. "I have to update you on things." Olivia whispers when she catches up to me and Ryan. "So that whole thing wasn't Brendon's idea. Your mom just dropped him off."

"That's fucking weird." I try to think why she would do that.

"Riley! Come over here! Someone wants to say hi to you!" Mom sings from the kitchen. I walk to her with Ryan following behind me. "Riley," Mom steps out of the way. "You remember Carolyn Norris, right? She was your old baby sitter."

My eyes pop open. It's the same desperate blonde from the beach. Her eyes flicker to Ryan. "Nice to see you again, Ryan."

Mom looks back and forth between the two of them "You've met?" I can see a plan brewing in her mind.

"I was at the Venice Beach boardwalk when I met him." She flips her hair. "So, where's your girlfriend."

Ryan wraps his arm around me without hesitation. "I'm seeing Riley."

"She's a child." She laughs.

I furrow my eyebrows. This trip just keeps going downhill. "Let's go, Ryan." I pull him away from her. I look back to see a smug look on her face. A smug look from Ryan will drive me crazy in the best way possible. That look on her just makes me want to claw her eyes out.

"Who does she think she is." I growl.

I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around to come face to face with my old crew.

"Abbey! Terry! Gabe!" I hug them down the line. "Terry, what are you doing here?! I thought you were in New York?!"

"I'm back for the summer! I had to come see everyone!" He says.

"Gabe and I have some news." Abbey holds out her left hand, exposing a ring.

I shriek. "You guys are engaged?!"

Olivia rushes from the crowd. "DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?!"

In the excitement of seeing my friends again, I almost forget about Ryan. He's standing behind me awkwardly. "Guys, this is Ryan. He's my boyfriend." I smile, pulling him into the circle.

"Dude, from Achievement Hunter?!" Terry shakes his hand. "I'm a huge fan, bro. Nice to meet you!"

After that, the crew goes back to talking, trying to catch up. Brendon eventually finds the group. I allow Brendon in the circle to talk. The only ones who the know truth about Brendon are me and Olivia.

I turn back to say something to Ryan, but he's disappeared. Where did he go?


	12. Familiar Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan disappeared from Riley's sight. Where the hell is he?  
> Meanwhile, Brendon might be more useful than Riley thought. Will she listen or will his warnings go unheeded?

"Ryan?" I call over the noise. More neighbors have gathered to the house. They're all too busy talking to my mother to speak to me. I make note to say hello to everyone later. "Ryan?!" I start walking away from my old group.

Olivia excuses herself from the conversation. "Are you okay?"

"Where's Ryan?!" I realize I'm sounding more frantic than I wanted to. I look around the room and notice that Carolyn is no where to be seen. 

"Chill. He probably went to the bathroom." Olivia reasons. 

"Yeah," I say slowly, not entirely sure.

She takes my hand. "Come on, let's get back to the group."

I follow her back, occasionally glancing around the room. Still no Ryan. Seriously, where are you...?

**Ryan's Point of View**

A girl with brunette with green eyes taps Riley on the shoulder. She's followed by two men. Riley freaks out when she sees them.

"Abbey! Terry! Gabe!" She hugs them. "Terry, what are you doing here?! I thought you were in New York?!"

"I'm back for the summer! I had to come see everyone!" Terry, the man with dark dirty blonde hair and brown eyes, says

"Gabe and I have some news." The brunette, I'm assuming is Abbey, holds out her left hand, exposing a ring. The other man with hazel eyes and brown hair wraps his arm around Abbey. I'm assuming that's Gabe.

Riley shrieks. "You guys are engaged?!"

Olivia rushes out of no where. "DID I HEAR THAT RIGHT?!"

I find myself taken aback by the sudden outburst. I think I remember Riley telling me about these people. I think they're her old friends. Riley and Olivia continue to gab on. I shuffle behind Riley, trying to get her attention.  "Guys, this is Ryan. He's my boyfriend." She says, finally drawing attention to me.

"Dude, from Achievement Hunter?!" Terry shakes my hand. "I'm a huge fan, bro. Nice to meet you!"

I feel some relief. Not everyone hates me here. "It's nice to-"

"Oh my God, you HAVE to tell us about the engagement!" Olivia gushes. Everyone gets sucked back into conversation, leaving me standing there.

Eventually, Brendon makes his way to the group. I watch closely for Riley's reaction. She doesn't make a face or glare at him. She allows him in the group. I'm starting to think that no one knows about what Brendon did to her except for me and Olivia.

"Riley, I'm going to go see if your mom needs help with anything." I tell her. She doesn't respond to me. "Riley?" I say a little louder. It's no use. She's too involved with conversation. I sigh and walk off.

In the kitchen, Mrs. Thomas is pouring chips into bowls. As much as I dislike this woman, I need to see if she needs me to do anything. "Would you like any help?"

She looks at me from the corner of her eye, with a curious look. "Why do you want to help me?"

I shrug. "Because I'm a guest in your home and I wanted to help?"

She gives me a look, I swear it's a look of slight approval. "I'm fine." She turns her back to me.

As I'm leaving the kitchen, I hear her mumble. "Thank you for asking."

On my way back to Riley, the blonde from earlier (Carolyn, I think) cuts me off. "Oh, fancy bumping in to you again." She places a hand on my chest.

Now I'm getting agitated. I need to put an end to this before it becomes a problem. "Listen," I swipe her hand a way. "I don't know if you're this forward with all men, but I won't tolerate it. I'm already happy with someone else, so if you would please back off."

She pouts. "You're so mean. Are you always this cold?"

That phrase echos in my head.

_Are you always this cold?_

_You're a stone, Ryan._

_I can't have you dragging me down with you!_

I push those thoughts out of my head. It's been a long time since I've thought about that. "Just leave me alone." I push past her.

"You know where to find me when you're through playing around with children." She shouts after me.

Keep walking, Haywood. You can go to jail for punching a woman. And Riley would be upset with me. Actually, she might think it was awesome, but I still would like to avoid jail. 

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I come face to face with Riley's father. Rob must have been standing nearby. "You look like you could use a drink."

God, finally. "Yes, sir."

Rob motions me to follow. "Let's get out of here for a bit. I'm buying."

It was a short walk around the block to reach a small local bar. Cigarette smoke fills fogs the room. The room is filled the sound of drunken chatter and the clacking of the pool table. We make our way the the bar top.

"I'll have some shots of whiskey. And just keep them coming." Rob orders. He looks at me.

"Uh, I'll have the same." Normally, I'm not this heavy of a drinker. But I am not about to look like a pussy in front of Riley's father.

The bartender slides over the shots. "I've been wanting to talk to you." He pauses to take his shot. I follow his lead. The golden liquid burned on its way down."You seem like a nice guy. But why do you want to be with my little girl?"

The bartender slides more drinks. "I mean," He continues. "Why not find someone your own age?"

I gulp down the shot. The burn is as intense as the first drink. "You want me to be honest?"

"I would like that."

"I can't see myself with anyone else." Another drink is in my hand. "She's smart, witty, and independent." I break for a drink. I'm starting to get used to the burn. "When I'm with her, I don't see the age difference. I see her and how happy she makes me. I wish everyone else could see that."

"I'll admit, I wasn't crazy about the age difference at first." Rob was now on his fourth drink. When did he get ahead of me?

A forth shot is in front of me. I drink without hesitation. "I love her." I say with no regrets. I've never admitted it out loud. "I've loved her form the moment I laid eyes on her."

"I believe it. So have you told Riley this?"

I shake my head. "I didn't want to scare her off. It's only been a month."

"I bet she feels the same way about you." He slams another drink. "I've never seen her like this, not even towards Brendon. And he was a good guy to her."

I mentally scoff at this. It's not his fault that he doesn't know about Brendon. That's something Riley wanted to keep hidden. "I can't stand that kid."

"He was... okay. He never left an impression on me." 

I debated on telling him the "impression" he's had on his daughter, but I decide against it. I take a another shot instead.

"Anyway," he continues. " I just want my daughter to be happy. As long as she's happy, I'm happy." He lifts his glass to me. We clink shot glasses. 

"I'll take care of her. I won't let anyone hurt her." I promise.

We take a shot. That did it. The ground beneath me seems to be wobbling. 

"I trust you, Ryan." He doesn't show any signs of being drunk. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After nine shots, we decided it was time to leave. Riley's father had no problem walking. Me, however, I was bumping and stumbling around. 

Rob and I make it back to the house. Riley was waiting by the door. "Dad? Ryan?" She sounds concerned. My gaze fixes on her. I never get the time to just stand and admire her.

"Don't worry, darlin'" He ruffles her hair. "Me and Ryan were just getting to know each other. " He pats me on the back. I stumble forward and Riley catches me.

She sighs. "You're both drunk."

Rob is drunk? Maybe I just didn't notice. "Me? Drunk? Nooooo." I wobble closer to her. "I'm fine."

"Boy, this is weird." Olivia laughs.

Riley giggles. "I'll drive us home now." She lets me lean on her as she guides me to the car.

Before I realize it, we're walking up to the hotel room. 

"See ya' in the morning!" Olivia says before heading in her room. 

Riley waves and unlocks our room door. She guides me to the bed. "You had me worried." She says, walking away to the bathroom.

"I did?" I can almost hear a slur in my voice.

"I didn't know where you went." She comes back, dressing in her sleeping clothes. 

"I tried to tell you where I was going." I kick off my shoes and lay back down.

"Oh," She climbs in bed next to me. "Did you want to get changed or-?"

**Riley's Point of View**

Before I can ask my question, he passed out. I snuggle up next to him, falling asleep.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A loud pounding at the door wakes me and Ryan.

"Uggghhh..." Ryan shoves his head under his pillow. "Make it stop."

I hop out of bed and answer the door. My face drops when I see Brendon standing at the door way. Before I could yell, he holds up a grocery bag. "Truce. I brought stuff. I'm not here to harass you. I have something to tell you both."

I hear Ryan rush to the bathroom, followed by a loud hurling noise in the bathroom. "He might need a few moments. Come in." I sigh.

I let Brendon in. He sits at the table. I peek in the bathroom. "Do you need anything?

"Fucking kill me-" Ryan lurches forward. 

"I'm giving you a warning. Brendon is here. Come out when you're feeling better." I back out of the bathroom.

Brendon starts digging through the bag. "I brought Mr. Drunk some crackers and water. You might need to get used to this. He might drink all the time." 

I shoot him a glare. 

"Relax, I'm only kidding." He hands me the bag. "Give him about an hour or two. He'll be fine."

Another hurling noise comes from the bathroom. Brendon winces. "Maybe a nap will help him out."

"You had something to tell us?"

Brendon leans back in his chair. "This whole trip was not my idea."

"Why should I believe you?" I cross my arms.

"I'll admit, you have no reason to trust me. That's up to you if you want to believe me or not."

"I'll hear you out before I make a decision."

"Okay," He continues. "Yes, I told your mom about Ryan. I knew she was instantly going to hate him. So I told her out of spite."

"You son of a bitch." I glare. I had a feeling he did it to try and screw me over, anyway.

"I shouldn't have to tell you the reason I did it." He snaps. "I was angry and not thinking. I just wanted something to break up guys up. That was the easiest thing I could think of."

"First of all, since when do I listen to my mother? Second, did you honestly think that would help you? If that did work, what made you think I would come back to you after that?"

"I'm not done," He holds up a hand. "After I called her, she hung up. About a week later, she called and said she wanted me to visit. She bought my ticket and everything. I thought it was random but I didn't realize you were going to be there."

That sounds believable. Mom always treated Brendon like a son. They were really close.

"Now, about Carolyn," He continues. "You might need to avoid her. Your mom was talking to her and she was hinting that she should try and go for Ryan."

"What do you mean?"

"Like she was saying things like "I think you would be cute." and  "He's your age. It could work out." It was getting really ridiculous."

I roll my eyes. "I don't need to worry about her. Ryan isn't going to hook up with some bitch. Once we leave here, he's never going to see her again."

Brendon nods. "Okay. I'm sure you don't have to worry about her, but the warning is out there."

"I really do appreciate it.... But that still doesn't make up for what you did to me."

"Understandable. But it's a start?" He smiles.

I nod. "It's a start."

Ryan drags himself out of the bathroom and crashes on the bed. 

Brendon stands to leave. "That's all I wanted to say. I'll leave so you can take care of him." 

I walk Brendon out the door. He stops before leaving. "Abbey, Gabe, Terry and I are going out later tonight. You and Olivia should come." He sighs before adding. "Ryan, too."

"Thanks. I'll see how he's feeling by then." I close the door and pull out my phone.

_Riley: Livy, come next door. I have to update you on things._

_Olivia: Same. On my way. And I don't even have to tell you what's wrong with that text._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say, it takes a stupid drunk tequila party. (Read that on a website and laughed my ass off.)


	13. "Do You Even Care?"

"It's all your mom's doing, eh?" Olivia huffs after I explain everything. "Why is she being so stupid?! I mean, you're happy! Anyone can see that!"

"I know. I don't know what to do about this." I rant. "This whole time, I thought Brendon was going to be an issue."

"About that," She stalls. "I think... I think he's back to the old Brendon."

"I don't know about that..."

"He's at least trying." Olivia offers. "This is what I was coming to tell you. When I got stuck with him all day yesterday, he was talking like he used to. He's writing again."

"I don't see the significance in that." I lie. I know why that's a big deal. Growing up, Brendon loved to write short stories and poems. He wanted to be an author one day. The first sign of a different Brendon was when he stopped writing. I never figured out why he stopped. 

"Riley, he showed me some of his new stuff. It's just as good as he used to be."

"So what? The guy can write a few pretty words! I'm not convinced that he's changed." I argue.

Olivia backs off the subject. "I understand. But we should at least keep and eye on him and see."

"Okay," I agree. "But if he hasn't changed, that asshole is back to square one. He'll never be able to gain my trust."

Ryan groans from the bed and curls up into a ball. "He's really messed up, isn't he?" Olivia giggles.

"He'll be fine. That's what he gets for trying to keep up for my dad." I snicker. "Oh, right! The gang is heading out tonight. If Ryan is feeling better, I'm going."

"I'll go. I'll text Abbey now." She says, pulling out her phone. "What are we doing until then?"

"I'm waiting for him to wake up so I can see what he wants to do."

"I'm going to be out and about. Text me if you need me." Olivia heads out the door

I climb on the bed with Ryan. I position his head on my lap. I start playing with his hair, waiting for him to wake up. He starts mumbling in his sleep.

"Stop..."

I lean in closer. "Ryan?"

"What do you want me to say...?"

What's he dreaming about?

**Ryan's Point of View**

_"Wait, please stay!"_

_"Oh, NOW you care!"_

_"What do you want me to say?"_

I jolt awake, I find myself laying on Riley's lap. I sigh a breath of relief. She's here. Why am I thinking about that again?

"Are you okay?" She nuzzles me.

"I'm okay now." I plant kisses on her thigh. 

"Brendon was over earlier. he dropped some stuff off for you." She combs her fingers through my hair

"How nice." I roll my eyes. "What did he do to it?"

"Nothing." She hesitates. "But can we talk about something?" I look up at her, waiting for her to continue. "Next time you leave, could you let me know? I was seriously worried last night."

I scoff. "Where did you think I was?"

"I-I don't know! That doesn't matter! What matters is that I was worried and I had no idea where you were!" She stutters.

I shrug. I'd rather not try to fight about this. "Okay."

She pauses. "...Okay? That's it?!"

"Uh, yeah. I'll let know know next time I go somewhere." I shrug once again.

"...How about an apology?"

I don't understand. "What am apologizing for?" I ask blankly.

She pushes my head off her lap. "God, never mind."

"You're angry at me? What's wrong?" I sit up.

She paces the room. "Forget it..."

"No," I slide out of bed. "Tell me."

"You don't care!" She shouts. "Instead of being apologetic for making me worry, you shrug it off!"

"I don't understand. Are you really angry for me something so small?"

"Small?" She repeats. "I'm upset. Does that seem small to you?"

I try to process how I should handle this. So I do what I usually do. "Yeah. It does." I say blankly.

"God, do you even care about me? Don't you know how to feel anything?"

_You're a stone, Ryan!_

_You're so cold!_

_When's the last time you said you loved me?_

_Do you even care?_

Sara's voice echoes over and over in my head. I take a step closer to her, towering over her. "What did you say?"

Riley backs away.

"You have no right to say that." I seethe. "You have no idea."

She avoids eye contact. I storm out of the room. She doesn't try to stop me.

** Riley's Point of View: **

I blink. "...How about an apology?"

He gives me a look. "What am apologizing for?" He asks blankly.

Unbelievable. He's doing it again. I push him off my lap. "God, never mind."

"You're angry at me? What's wrong?" He sits up.

I start pacing the room. "Forget it..." Don't get angry over this. I'm sure it's nothing.

"No," He slides out of bed. "Tell me."

"You don't care!" I can't stop myself from shouting. "Instead of being apologetic for making me worry, you shrug it off!"

"I don't understand. Are you really angry for me something so small?"

"Small?" I can't help but squeak. "I'm upset. Does that seem small to you?"

He thinks for a moment. "Yeah. It does." He responds blankly.

He doesn't care how I feel. I'm upset and he thinks it's not a big deal. Does it not bother him seeing me like this?

"God, Do you even care about me? Don't you know how to feel anything?" I didn't mean it. I don't know why I said that.

Ryan's eyes turn dark. He towers over me. "What did you say?"

I back away. This seems too familiar. I know Ryan would never hurt me, but I've been in situations like this with Brendon.

"You have no right to say that." He growls. "You have no idea."

I brace myself for some kind of contact. He storms out of the room instead.

**Ryan's Point of View:**

_"Sarah, please!" I beg as she packs a suitcase._

_She turns around, tears in her eyes. "Now you care? Right when I'm about to leave. That's when you want to sit and talk?!"_

_I blink back the moisture collecting in my eyes. "What do you want me to say?"_

_"Ryan, there's nothing you can say!" She shrieks. "This is over!"_

_"I don't understand where all this is coming from." My voice trembles. She stomps across the room, scooping most of her belongings in her arms. In a desperate attempt, I start unpacking the things she already put away in her suitcase._

_"It's been going on for years. You just never saw it." She sobs. "You're a stone, Ryan. When is the last time you told me that you loved me? Or did something special for me? You're going to end up alone, Ryan. I can't have you dragging me down with you. You're never going to have the ability to feel anything!" She throws the items I removed back into the suitcase_

_Tears trickle down my cheeks. "Sarah, look, I'm crying. You know me! I don't fucking cry! You can't go!"_

_"That's right, you don't!" Sarah slams the suitcase shut. "You NEVER show ANY emotion! Not to me, not to anyone! Why do you do that?! Why can't you just be honest about your feelings?! Whydo you have to be so cold?!"_

_I grasp her arm. "Don't," I sob. "Please don't go." I break down on her shoulder. "I need you, Sarah, okay? I need you. I'm sorry you never felt like you mattered but you do! I love you! I don't want you to leave me!"_

_Sarah tears free of my grip. She turns to me, with a cold stare and teary eyes. "It's too late, Ryan." She walks out of the door._

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stare into the bourbon in my hands. That was the last time I saw Sara. After that, she sent lawyers over with the divorce papers. She didn't even want to see me.

Riley had no right to say that I can't feel anything. She's the first person I tried showing I cared about them. I asked her out multiply times. I was straight forward about my feelings for her. Well, almost. I haven't told her I love her yet.

Sara never got the amount of attention I give Riley. 

A drink is pushed in front of me. 

"I'm not done with this one." I look up to the bartender. Only it's a different bartender. It's Carolyn.

"Fancy seeing you here?" She winks."Ya' know, drinking at ten in the morning is bad for you."

"What... Why... Fuck it. I don't care anymore." I grumble before downing my drink. I grab the new one placed in front of me and gulp it down.

 "The bartender went on break so I'm filling in for him." She starts wiping the counters. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"At the room I guess." I shrug.

"Awww trouble in love land?" She teases. I glare at her and her face drops. "Oh, wow, I was kidding. What happened?"

"I don't even know."

She slides another drink my way."Bartenders make great listeners, you know."

I pause to take a drink. "This kinda goes back a bit. I was married before I was with Riley..."

** Riley's Point of View: **

"I don't know what to do! He's not answering my texts, he won't answer his phone! He's ignoring me!" I rant to Olivia, trying not to break down. I pace the room.

"Honey buns, it's your first fight, if that's what you wanna call it. Give him some time to cool down." Olivia pulls my arm and sits me down in the armchair

"I don't know what made him snap like that! Ryan never gets angry with me! It just happened so quick!"

"To be fair, you did snap at him first. And over something that you let build up. If you would've talked about it as soon as you were concerned about it, that would never had happened."

"I just didn't know how to..."

"You asked him if he cared about you. You know that he does, right?"

"Yeah.."

"Then you see why he's upset. Just give him some time. I know he'll be back soon and you guys can talk it out."

"You're right," I sigh.

"See? If everyone would just realize I'm always right, the world would be a better place." She says with pride.

"Shut up." I laugh.

But seriously, I hope he's okay.

**Ryan's Point of View**

"... Then I somehow wound up here." I finish explaining.

She goes to refill my glass. I shake my head. "Two is enough. The thing is, I don't get drunk too often. I don't want to go back to her drunk again."

"You sure? It's free. I cleared your check."

"Really, I'm fine."

She shrugs and puts my glass away. "Okay, I listened. Can I give you some advice?"

"I don't think-"

"Good," She interrupts. "Here it is. I've been married before. I know what it's like to have someone walk out on you." Something in her voice changes. She sounds sincere. "I think you need to find someone your owe age. Riley is an okay kid but that's all she is. A kid. You've been on a different intimate level with another human being and she's still trying to figure out what to do with her life. There's no way she could wrap her brain around marriage. My suggestion to you is to find someone who understands you. Someone who isn't going to get pissed at you for something so minuscule. Someone mature." 

You're dead wrong. "I love her." I state firmly.

"Why?" She snorts. "You're setting yourself up for heartbreak. She's going to find someone younger and leave you. You could stay and be miserable," She leans on the counter, making her cleavage more noticeable. I avert my eyes . "Or, you could relax, enjoy life and maybe go home with a single bartender." She bats her eyelashes.

"And why would I do that?" 

"Because you look like you could relieve some stress and I get off work in twenty minutes. Think about it. If you're still here when I get off, we can go." She walks off to help other patrons.

She did say my check was cleared. I get up and start walking out the door. I just need to see her. I need to make things right.

Riley's Point of View

Olivia tried her best to get my mind off of Ryan being gone. But no luck.

The door creeks open and Ryan walks through. "Ryan," I squeak. I leap into his arms. He lifts me into a warm embrace.

"I'll leave you two alone." Olivia tip toes out of the room.

"Ryan, I-"

He holds up a hand. "Wait. It's not your fault."

"How was that not my fault?!"

"You don't know everything about me." He sets me down on the bed, cuddling next to me. "Do you know why Sara left?" I shake my head. He continues. "Before you knew me, I was very blank towards a lot of things. It's not that I didn't care. I just wasn't an emotional person. Sara didn't like that. She felt her needs were ignored. She felt neglected. So she left." He pauses. "It's different with you. I feel the need to try to be a good boyfriend with you. I feel like doing stupid romantic things that you see in those stupid romance movies I can't stand."

"We need to watch  some romantic movies together. Thanks for reminding me." I smirk.

"That's fine! I'll sit through those kind of movies for you. Because that's how much you mean to me."

"I didn't mean what I said earlier. I'm sorry. You always go out of your way for me." I rest my head on his chest.

"I'll forgive you if you forgive me." He hugs me tighter. 

I feel so much better now that we are on speaking terms again. "Being away from you drove me crazy." I admit.

He laughs. "I was gone for about an hour!"

"Hey, an hour seems like forever when you're upset with me!" I argue.

He kisses my forehead. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to leave you like that again, okay?"

I nod.

"I'm going to make promise to you. I promise that as long as I can help it, you will never get hurt. I'll protect you with everything I have. I'll be there for you no matter what problem you have. I'll be there to support you." Ryan brushes my hair out of my face. "But there's one condition. You will have to bare with me. There will be times when I just don't know how to handle things so I pretend it's not a bother. I'm still working on it, but I've come a long way from where I was. That's all because of you."

"But why me?" We lock eyes.

"Because I'm in love with you. Isn't that obvious? I don't want to go through this crap with anyone else. You are stuck with me. Are you okay with that?"

"I can learn to be." I smile. "I love you, too, Ryan."

It's quiet for a moment. "Today was a really shitty day for me." Ryan admits. "Until now." He leans in and we kiss. 

"Why is that?"

"Sara."

He doesn't need to say anymore than that. "Do you miss her?"

He shakes his head. "Not really. I have you. It just sucks sometimes knowing you let someone down."

I nod even though I don't fully understand. I don't know what that's like.

"There's plenty of time to make your day better." I remind him. "Did I tell you that We were invited out by my friends?"

Ryan sighs. "Do I have to go?"

I giggle and kiss his nose. "Yes, you do!"

Ryan groans and buries his head in the pillows. "You can just suffocate me now." His voice is muffled by the pillows.

"It's not until tonight. We can do whatever you want until it's time."

Ryan pokes his head back up with a grin. "Whatever I want, huh?"

Oh, I knew where this was going. "Yeah." I lean in. Ryan sits up. I give him a confused look. "What are you-"

"Wait for it." Ryan holds up a finger. There's a loud knock at the door.

"Guys! It's meeeee!" Olivia shouts through the door. "I hope you guys made up by now. I'm boooooorred!"

Ryan shakes his head. "That's why. I'm not getting excited just so I can get cock blocked by your friend." He chuckles.

I shake my head. I really need to talk to her about her timing.


	14. You are Mine

"Come on, Olivia," I pound on the door. 

Ryan leans on the wall. "I just want to get this day over with."

"Why? It's going to be fun."

"Tck. I got ignored last time." Ryan crosses his arms. 

I force my way into his arms. "I'm sorry. Seeing them caught me off guard. It won't be like that again. I'll pay attention to you." I pull him closer for a kiss.

Olivia comes out into the hallway. "Eww," She teases. "Get a room."

"Okay," Ryan tugs me toward our hotel room.

"They are waiting for us." I pull away.

Outside, we spot Gabe's car by the curb. Abbey is in the front seat and Brendon and Terry are in back. I watch as Ryan and Brendon glare at each other.

"We can try and cram everyone in back. It probably won't be very comfortable." Gabe informs us.

"Olivia can ride with you guys. Ryan and I can follow behind you." I explain as Olivia hops in Gabe's car.

Gabe nods and he waits until Ryan and I are in the car. They drive off and we follow behind them. 

"Where are we going anyway?" Ryan asks.

"I think Olivia wanted to go to a club or something."

"Great," Ryan mumbles. 

"It will be fun." I lean on his shoulder. "And I think the guys wanted to stop by a bar first."

We pull up to a bar. Everyone pours out of the cars and heads into the bar. Ryan and I linger outside. "I was here this morning." Ryan says randomly.

"Okay?" I shrug.

"Carolyn works here." He says.

I feel rage slowly boiling in my blood. My face instantly feels warm. I shake off the feeling before it got too intense. "Oh?"

Ryan notices my change in attitude. "But she got off work around the same time I left." He adds. "So she shouldn't be here."

"I see." So how does he know when she got off work? Did he come straight back to me or did he make a quick detour...?

He slips his arm around me. I shrug him off. "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"Please do this again. Why not just tell me what's bothering you and we won't have to go through another fight." He insists.

"Okay, fine," He's right. Better to get this over with. "Were you with her earlier?"

"Yeah. I stopped in for drinks and she was the bartender."

So then why didn't he leave? "Anything else? You didn't go over to her house or something?"

"Really, Riley?" He lets out a laugh.

"Ryan, I'm being serious here." I look up at him angrily.

He smiles and takes my face in his hands. He leans in and brings his lips to mine. I pull away.

"Ryan, I'm not-" He reconnects our lips, slipping his tongue into my mouth. The soft touch of his lips and the taste of mint on his tongue makes me forget why I was upset. 

He tugs on my bottom lip as he pulls away. "Why the hell would I want her when I have someone as beautiful as you?" He runs his fingers through my hair.

"I can't help it if I feel a little jealous..."

Ryan wraps and arm around my waist and leads me inside the bar. "I love you. I would never cheat on you. Trust me."

I've heard that before... I hate comparing Ryan to Brendon, but the situations are starting out the same. I was happy with Brendon. He swore to protect me. He said he loved me. He said he wouldn't cheat.

Speaking of Brendon, he comes rushing to meet us by the door. "Uh, we can go to another bar if you want-"

Brendon gets cut off and a figure pulls Ryan away from me. "You ran off before we could have some real fun." Carolyn tries to lead Ryan away.

Carolyn?!

What the fuck.

Ryan yanks his arm away. "Why are you here?" He asks, bewildered.

"I work a double today. Lucky me, right?" She winks.

I'm suddenly not in control of my body. I step in between them. "That's mine." I growl as I point to Ryan.

Carolyn laughs. "Possessive, aren't we? I'm just having some fun. From the looks of it, he could use a little. If you keep sexually starving that poor man, he's going to go crawling to someone else." Her eyes flicker to Ryan. "Seriously, what do you see in her? She's so immature!"

Before I could argue, Ryan is pulling me away. "Your friends are leaving. Let's go."

She smirks as I'm being pulled away. "Leaving so soon?"

I hear Brendon come to my defense. "Why do you have to ruin things for people? You've always been like that." He snaps. I stop walking. Now I'm intrigued. "And for your information, Riley just so happens to be a great woman. She can keep a man happy without putting out. You could probably learn something from that." Brendon starts walking away. I watch her face twist into complete horror. I feel a smile forming on my lips.

Brendon catches up to me and Ryan. "I'm sorry. It was my idea to come here. I didn't know she worked here. We're heading to the club instead. There will be plenty of drinks there." He walks outside.

Brendon has never defended me before.

"Is that true?" I ask once we are in the car. "Do you think I hold out on you?"

Ryan looks confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Are you...um....she said sexually starved... So.."

"Jesus, Riley. She's just trying to get to you." He rolls his eyes. 

"But are you?" I press on.

"No. I mean, I wouldn't mind a little more- wait no! I'm not. If anything, it's Olivia's fault for popping up places." Ryan rambles. "Look, you aren't depriving me of anything. I'm patient. I can wait."

Even though that's what he said, I'm not convinced.

"Besides," He adds. "Why are you worried about what she says?"

I pick at the hem of my dress. "I just don't want your attention to wander somewhere else..."

"Are you that threatened by her?"

I can't lie to him. "If a guy was constantly hitting on me, wouldn't you be jealous?"

He shakes his head. "Not really. Because I know you are with me."

"So you wouldn't care?" I ask.

"Nope." He answers.

I sink further in my seat. I was expecting him to be a little jealous. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The music is deafening. The room is dim, only to be brightened up with neon spotlights. I'm not much of a club person. 

We grab a booth. Terry and Olivia hit the dance floor. Brendon went to order drinks for everyone.

Abbey pulls me out of the booth. "Come with me to the bathroom!" She shouts over the noise.

"Ryan, I'll be back." I shout.

"Huh?" He tilts his head.

I point towards the bathrooms. He nods.

The music sounds muffled in the bathrooms, making it easier to hear.

"That's so much better!" Abbey smiles. "So, what's on your mind?" She asks, applying some lipstick.

"Huh? Nothing." I lie.

"I know that face, Riley. You're thinking about something."

I sigh. "Should I be worried if Ryan isn't jealous of other guys?"

Abbey shakes her head. "Not really. I wish Gabe was more like that. Why should you worry about that?"

"I don't know. I just thought since Brendon was jealous, I figured that's how most guys were."

"Well, you can always test this out to see if he's really not jealous." Abbey nudges me. I wait for her to continue. "Try flirting around in front of him. If he's really not jealous, he won't care."

"Isn't that a bit immature?"

"Maybe. But it doesn't hurt to try, right?"

I bite my lip. I do want to see his reaction.

 She finishes touching up her make up and we head back to the booth. Brendon already had drinks waiting for everyone. Terry comes back to the booth, panting.

"Guys, I can't keep up with Olivia. Someone go dance with her." He leans on the table.

"Ryan, want to come with?" I ask.

Ryan shakes his head. "I'm not a dancer. Go ahead."

I sigh and instead of sitting down, I head directly to the dance floor. 

"Yay! Riley!" Olivia cheers. "Terry was being a wimp." Olivia is dancing closely with some guy. Classic Olivia. 

"When you're done dancing, there are drinks at the table." I inform her, dancing beside her. "So, um who's your new friend?"

"Oh, this is-" She turns to him. "What's your name?"

"Connor." He answers.

"This is Connor!" 

"Nice to meet you. I'm Riley." I introduce myself.

Connor's stunning blue eyes lock on mine. I feel my heart skip a beat. He's not as handsome as Ryan, but he's certainly close.

I could tell Connor is interested in me. His eyes never leave me, even though he's dancing with Olivia.

Olivia starts to pick up on that. She looks to me and then back at Connor "Did you want to dance with Riley for a bit? I'm starting to get thirsty, anyway." She looks back at me. "Ryan won't mind, right?"

I shrug. "We'll find out." 

Connor gives me a smile. Olivia walks off the dance floor.

"So, who's Ryan?" Connor asks, coming close to me.

"My boyfriend."

He raises an eyebrow. "Am I going to get punched for dancing with you?"

"Nah. He's not jealous. Besides, we aren't doing anything wrong. Just dancing." I close the space between us.

"I'll try my best to keep it that way." He gives me a half smile.

From behind Connor, I see Ryan lift his head up. He's pretending to look around, but his eyes linger every time they pass us. I have his attention now.

"So Olivia was telling me your visiting from Texas." Connor shouts over the music as we dance.

"Yeah, we go back in a few days." I watch Ryan. He continues to pretend not to notice the stranger I'm dancing closely to. Ryan takes a long sip of his rum and coke. I'm starting to feel bad. This trip is causing him to drink more and more.

Connor moves his hand to my back. "Can I buy you a drink?"

Normally, I would say no. I already have a drink waiting for me at the table. But this should drive Ryan crazy. "Sure." I nod.

We make our way to the bar top. "So let me guess," Connor says as our drinks slide over to us. "Fight with your boyfriend?"

"What makes you say that?" I  feel the cool liquid burn all the way down.

He chuckles. "You keep looking past me instead of at me. I'm assuming you're looking at him."

"Okay. No, we aren't fighting," I shouldn't lie to this guy. "Honestly, I'm trying to see if he's really not the jealous type. Is that okay?"

Connor smiles. "Are you kidding me? I get to flirt with a hot girl. Why would I mind that? Just let me know if I'm going to far." He snakes an arm around me.

Good, he's on board. My eyes switch to Ryan. Ryan has his arms crossed, watching the show.

I decide to "play hard to get" and move his arms away, giggling. I take his hand and lead him back to the dance floor. We move to the beat, Connor holding me close. Ryan's face is blank.

"Is he watching?" Connor leans in and whispers in my ear.

I tear my eyes away from Ryan. "Like a hawk." I smirk. I look back to Ryan's spot. He's not there anymore. "What the-?"

"What?"

"He's not there!" I shout, feeling a little annoyed. Where did he go?

I feel a tap on my shoulder. Connor removes his hands and starts backing up. I turn around to find Ryan, with a smile on his face. "Mind if I steal her from you?" He asks, his eyes burning at Connor. Something about that smile seems sinister.

I should say something. "Ryan, I-" I start before Ryan puts a finger to my lips. 

"I'll get to you later. I'm talking to your friend." He says, eyes still fixed on Connor.

"Uh, nope. All yours, man." Connor forces a friendly laugh as he back away.

Ryan grabs my hand, pulling me off the dance floor. "Uh, Ryan?" I try to get his attention. He keeps walking, leading me outside. "Ryan!" I shout a little louder. Ryan drags us out the front door. The music becomes muffled after the door closes behind us. I try to pull loose. Ryan's grip tightens. Our car is parked just around the block. Ryan continues to lead me. "What happened to not being jealous? "I know you're with me." Remember? What happened to that?!" Ryan doesn't respond. Instead, swings me into an alleyway entrance, my back slamming in to a brick wall. He presses against me.

"You  _are_  mine. So why are you purposefully trying to upset me by flirting with some guy?" He growls, resting his forehead on mine.

"I-I just- I was only trying to-" I stammer.

"What? Make me jealous?" His eyes pierce into mine. "It worked, okay?"

"I don't know why I did that." Most people would be terrified in this situation. I find it exciting. (Oh, God. I have problems)

"You were trying to get my attention, right?" He says in a low voice. I nod. A smile sweeps across his face. His fingers lace through my hair, tugging it slightly which forces me to look up at him. "You got it now. Instead of doing this shit, you should've just asked for it." He presses his lips to mine for a quick kiss. He pulls away. "Let's get back to the room." He takes my hand and tugs me along. 

"Ryan! Slow up!" I say breathlessly. 

Without stopping, he shakes his head. "We need to get there before Olivia notices we're gone."

Oh. right. Olivia and her impeccable timing.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We bustle out of the elevator, speeding to our room. Once we reach the room, Ryan fumbles with his wallet. "Where the fuck is it?" He mumbles under his breath. He locates the room card key and unlocks it. "Finally." He throws open the door. 

Ryan slams the door behind us and crashes his lips to mine. I taste the familiar taste of mint. We kick off our shoes. He pulls away to lift my dress over my head, then reconnects our lips. In the dark, we navigate our way to the bed. The mattress hits the back of my knees, causing me to fall back. Not breaking our kiss, we back up further onto the bed. I pull his shirt over his head. Ryan's hands massage my breast. "Why is this damn thing still on?" He chuckles, unhooking my bra. My phone falls on the bed. "Seriously? You keep your phone in your bra?" He says as he tosses the bra across the room. 

"Shut up. Where else am I going to keep it?!"

He silences me with his teeth grazing my neck. "That shut you up." He says into my neck. He continues to nip and returns to massaging my breasts a little rougher. A moan escapes my lips. He uses one hand to slide down my panties. My body feels like it's on fire. So far, no one is stopping it. Maybe it's finally going to happen.

Ryan sits up, his eyes raking up and down my body. "God,you're beautiful." I blush as he starts loosening his belt. "How did I ever get someone like you?" I sit up, moving closer. I help him slide his jeans off, then his boxers. 

"Because you're stubborn and you don't know when to stop." Before I get too distracted by his large size, I wrap my hand around his hardening length and begin to pump him slowly. 

"Fuck, we should've done this a long time ago." He pants. I'm not used to seeing Ryan like this. Usually, he's the asshole teasing me. Now it's my turn. I tighten my grip slightly, pumping him faster. "No fair." He breathes. 

"Can't do anything about it." I smirk.

He brushes his thumb over my clit, making me loosen my grip. You can't expect me to remain focused while he's doing that. "Ah, back in control." He gives me an evil smile. He thumbs over it again, adding more pressure. "Already wet for me, I see." He comments. Starting to feel weak, I grab on to his arms.

"Ryan, I can't wait anymore." I hate that he has this much of an effect on me.

"Me either," he admits. Ryan pushes me on my back. Ryan removes his hand and I whine from the loss. Ryan finds his jeans on the side of the bed, reaching into the pocket for a condom.

"When did you get-?" I begin to ask.

"Riley, please don't ask questions now."

I obey and watch in anticipation as he rolls the condom on. He moves my legs apart, leaning over me. He lines himself up. I feel his tip right at my entrance. Then he stops.

That mother fucker stops.

"What are you doing?" I growl, feeling frustrated.

Clearly amused, he chuckles. "What?"

I try to buck forward but he holds my hip down with one hand. "God damn it!!" I feel irritated. "On with it!"

"Oh my, someone is being pushy." He smirks. I can see that fucking smirk in the fucking dark. He leans down to my ear. "You really want it?"

"Stop teasing me!" I bark.

"Hey. Be nice." He starts nibbling on my ear.

"Fine! Please!" I beg. 

"Much better." He whispers. He lines himself back up.

My phone starts buzzing. Instinctively, I check my phone. It's a text from Olivia. Before I can read it, Ryan rips it from my hand. "No, not this time." He demands. "You will pay attention to me. And only me." He tosses my phone over his shoulder and he eases himself in. My head begins to spin as I feel him entering. "Oh, fuck. I wasn't expecting you to be this tight." He sighs. He pushes himself all the way in. Very slowly, he begins thrusting. Very quietly, thinking I can't hear him, he says. "Guess that Brendon kid isn't packing much."

I would normally laugh at that, but I can't even think straight with him inside me. Not being able to form an actually sentence, all I can manage to pant out is "Faster."

Ryan complies, increasing his speed. My breathing becomes louder and my more moans slip out of my mouth. "Ah.. Ry- Ryan, Please...Kiss me to keep me-Ah! Quiet! Please..."

Ryan leans in, his tongue flicking against mine. My moans are being muffled by his tongue. He starts pounding in harder. His hands rub on my thighs. He suddenly stops kissing me.

"Wha-"

"I changed my mind." He says. "I want to hear you moan. It's so fucking sexy."

"But the people around-"

"Let them hear. Everyone will know you're mine." His eyes are full of lust as he thrusts in and out. "And," He continues. "I don't want anymore guys looking at you like they have a chance." He starts thrusting deeper. "You are _mine_. Understood?" I nod. "Good." The look he gives my is almost enough to send me over the edge.

"Ah, baby, I didn't know how badly I needed you," he moans. Correction. THAT was very close to sending me over.

He keeps a good pace. It's not sloppy and fast, like he's trying to rush through it. (*Ahem* Brendon). It's intimate, intoxicating, and with a slight hint of longingness (Is that a word? Oh fuck, I can't enjoy this and try and be smart at the same time. It's a word now).

One last thrust in just the right place, a warm rush shocks throughout my body, causing me to clench around him. Ryan comes right after me, thrusting harder, and crashing his lips into mine for one last passionate kiss.

Panting and weak, we stare into each other's eyes. "I didn't want that to end yet." He says as he pulls out, removing the condom. "That was amazing." He crashes next to me, cuddling close to me. "You can check your phone now. Make sure no one died." he chuckles. 

As soon as I get up to move, my legs are like jelly, causing me to collapse forward. I try to crawl away, making it look like it was on purpose. but Ryan knows it wasn't.

"Heh. Having trouble moving?" He gives me a smug look. "I guess someone really enjoyed themself."

"Shut up," I mumble as I pick up my phone. All text messages from Olivia. I crawl back in bed, next to Ryan. He peeks over my shoulder and we read the texts together.

_Olivia: Hey, where did you go?_

_Olivia: Hey, where did Ryan go?_

_Olivia: Did you guys leave?_

_Olivia: Okay, it's been a little over an hour and you haven't texted back. What's going on?_

_Olivia: Are you fucking?_

_Olivia: OMG I swear if you don't answer me!_

_Olivia: I'm on my way back to the hotel._

_Olivia:......You guys are loud._

I blush and cover my face as Ryan proceeds to die with laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, people on other sites have been asking for it, so there it was. That's the first time I've ever written a smut chapter (I'm sure it shows.) Let me know what you all think. I don't mind constructive criticism but please, be nice. >.


	15. Ghosts of the Past

The rest of the trip was simple. After Brendon went home, we visited Mom and Dad everyday. Mom, of course, was still being cold towards Ryan. 

We pack up everything and pile it all in the car. "Ryan, are you getting dressed soon?" We need to go."

"I want to do something special before we leave." Ryan approaches me.

"Okay. What?" I ask.

"I'm going to change."

"What do you have in mind?" I ask him.

"You'll see. Call your parents. I'm picking them up and we're going somewhere."

"Okaaaay. Where?"

"You'll see." He repeats.There's a knock at the door. Ryan answers it. Olivia tumbles in. "Hey, I'm going to take Riley and her parents somewhere secret before we leave."

"Can I know where we're going?!" Olivia begs. Ryan whispers something to her. "Oh! I know where it's at! I'll direct us."

Ryan disappears into the bathroom, taking a some clothes with him.

"What did he tell you?" I hiss.

Olivia points to the bathroom. "All I gotta say is that man is a keeper."

Ryan emerges from the bathroom dressed in black dress pants and a white button up. He starts putting on a tie.

"Should I dress up?" I question, eyeing him.

"You can if you want, but I'm the one making a first impression."

I throw on jeans and a red v- neck and follow Ryan and Olivia out of the room.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where are we going?" Mom says from the front seat.

Ryan smirks. "Patience, Mrs. Thomas."

Olivia, Dad, and I are crammed in back. We drive passed familiar land marks. The route we are taking reminds me of that sad day. The last day I saw Isaac. Once we pull up to a cemetery, I realize what Ryan is doing.  Moisture starts collecting around my eyes. I blink them back. I haven't been here since Isaac's funeral eight years ago.

"Why are we here?" Mom lowers her head.

"I hope you don't mind," Ryan unbuckles his seat belt. "There's still a member of the family I have to meet." 

Everyone jumps out of the car, except me and Mom.

"I cried when I was here with your father. I will not cry in front of everyone else." Mom crosses her arms.

"I understand." I place my hand on her shoulder. "Do you want me to stay here with you?"

She shakes her head. "No. Go be with your... friend." She says. I wish she would just deal with the fact that me and Ryan are together.

I hop out of the car. I take hold of Ryan's hand as Dad leads us through the graveyard.

"Your father told me how close you and your brother were to each other. Of course, we were a little drunk that night." Ryan says. 

"I'm surprised you remembered anything from that night." I mumble. 

"Me, too." Ryan chuckles lightly. "Anyway, if he was important to you, I wanted the opportunity to meet him."

"Ryan, he's dead." I try not to sound emotional. 

"I know." He says. We approach the grave. Ryan kneels down in front of it. "Hello, Isaac."

"You realize you're just talking to a piece of stone right? Isaac is gone." I try to shrug this off. Being here is just re-opening the wound. I should've stay in the car.

"Stone, eh? I guess I can relate." He mumbles.

"Huh?" I step close to him.

He shakes his head. "Nothing." He pats the ground next to me. "Have a seat."

"I'll stand." 

Ryan settles on the ground. "As I was saying, I'm Ryan. It's nice to meet you."

"Ryan, this is silly. Can we just leave?" I grumble. I don't want to be here. 

"Has she always been this stubborn?" Ryan chuckles.

"I'm right here, ya' know." I growl. "Please, why are you doing this? He's gone."

"What makes you think he's gone, Riley?"

"I don't know. It's just what I think. He's not here anymore. He's not alive. Do you believe in spirits or something?"

"Not exactly," he says. "It's not what I believe. Heck, for all I know, maybe he's not listening." He continues. "But what if he is? If he's here, then we're keeping him company. Doesn't hurt to try."

I shrug. "I guess we have different views."

"Nothing wrong with that. Now, if you'll let me get back to my conversation-"

"With yourself." I snap.

"You don't know that, my dear." Ryan turns his attention back to Isaac's grave. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I said to your father. I care about Riley. And she makes me really happy. I'm assuming she feels the same way?" He turns back to me. I nod, trying to hold back tears that are beginning to form. He looks back to the grave. "Well, according to her, I make her happy. I came to see you today so you could preform the normal big brother duty. Since you were unable to meet me on your own, I decided to come to you." 

I turn back to face Olivia and Dad. Sometime during Ryan's introduction, Mom walked up. She's focused on Ryan, listening.

"From what I heard about you, I think we could've gotten along really well."

I don't know the exact moment I started crying.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mom was silent the entire car ride back. We pull up to Mom and Dad's house and we file out.

"You kids have a safe trip back home." Dad nods. He gives me and Olivia a hug. He turns to Ryan. "It was nice meeting you, son. You can come back and see us whenever you want." Dad pulls Ryan into a hug.

Mom steps forward to Ryan. "...I think that was sweet.... Isaac would've loved to meet you. I think he would have approved of you..." Mom pauses. "I guess I approve, too."

Ryan smiles. "That means a lot."

Mom shifts uncomfortably before giving him an awkward hug goodbye. It's a start, at least.

Mom hugs me and Olivia. We pile back into the car and we are on our way back home.

"Thank you for that." I whisper. "I needed to see him again."

Ryan nods.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Finally, home." Ryan sighs as we walk through the front door.

"You're home. I need to get to my apartment." I plop down on the couch.

"Yeah, about that," Ryan sits next to me. "This house is awfully big for just one person, don't you think?"

Where is he going with this? "I don't know. I think this house is the perfect size for you."

"Really? I think it's too big for only me." Ryan emphasizes.

"What are you trying to say?"

"I was thinking while we were in California," he starts. "I love you. I love having you around. I want you to move in with me."

"Ryan-"

"I know what you're going to say, but hear me out." He wraps his arms around me. "I know it's only been a month, but I think it would be great living together. Since you work with me now, we can car pool to work. Besides, you're over here most of the time, anyway. Why pay for an apartment if you're barely there." 

"You have a point..." I pause.

"You are welcome to leave if you don't like it here. But I really want you here with me." Ryan rubs his nose against mine. "At least think about it?"

"How can I say no to you?" I mumble.

"Is that a yes?" He grins.

"It's a yes. But it might take a while. I need some time to get things together."

"I'm okay with that. I'm just happy that someday, you'll be living here with me." He pulls me into a kiss. "Nothing can ruin this day. Everything is perfect."

Right on cue, the house phone rings.

"Who the hell calls the house phone? Who could be as old fashioned as you?" I giggle.

He sticks his tongue out at me as he answers the phone. "Hello?" He pauses as he listens. his face continues to drop. "It's... It's nice to hear from you, too.... No.... No, I've been alright. How are you?"

I tilt my head. I mouth the words "Who is it?"

Ryan shakes his head and walks into the kitchen. What the hell?

I get up and follow him.

"I know... Yeah... No I didn't know that..." Ryan looks back at me. His tone hushes. "Mine?.... I don't think so. That's not possible....I don't think that would be a good idea... Listen, I have to go.. No, that's really not a good idea. Please don't do that.... I'm hanging up now. Please, don't call me again." Ryan hangs up the phone.

"Ryan-" 

"What do you want for dinner?" Ryan cuts me off, acting like nothing happened.

"Ryan, who was that?"

"Oh, that was no one. Don't worry about it." He shrugs.

I step in front of him. "You're lying! That didn't sound like nothing!"

He sighs. "That was Sara."

"Sara?" I repeat. "Your ex wife Sara?" I feel my stomach begin to knot up.

He nods. I wait for him to say something. He remains quiet.

"What did she say?" I hate this. I fucking hate this. I think I managed to shake off Brendon, we escaped Carolyn, and now we have to deal with another roadblock.

"Sara needs a place to stay while her new house is getting fixed up."

"...Why does she want to stay here....?"

"So let's go out for dinner-"

"Wait! Why here?!" I shout. This is way too much.

"I don't know." Ryan sounds so calm. How could he be so chill about this?!Why does she want to come see him after so many years? Why not just get a hotel? Why is he not freaking out about this?! Come to think about it, freaking out isn't in his nature.

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know how I feel right now." He pauses. "I know you just agreed to move in, so would it be okay if she stayed here? I don't want her here but if she needs help-"

I nod. "I understand. I'll stay at the apartment until she leave. How long will she be staying?"

"Two weeks. Should I call her back?"

I hand him the phone. "Call. It's totally fine."

It will be fine, right?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That's totally NOT fine!" Olivia shouts after I fill her in on the situation. 

It's Monday and I'm packing up my belongings at our desk at the office. It's my last day here. "Olivia, I'm not going to act all immature about this. We're all adults. She just needs a place to stay and then she is leaving. Hopefully for good." I assure her.

"But is Ryan really over her? And what about you? Is that going to bother you?"

"It's Ryan's house. He can have whoever he wants over." I avoid the question.

"But if you guys live together, it's kinda your home, too." She explains.

I shrug. "I don't mind."

"Honey, you and Ryan are just starting to establish a relationship. You are just starting out. You are in no position to allow the ex back in the picture."

"Relax, Livy," I laugh. "It will be fine. At most, she'll be around at night to sleep. We can work around this."

"Hmmmm..." Olivia rubs her chin. "This seems fishy to me."

I shrug. "What could go wrong?"

"I don't trust this." Olivia crosses her arms.

"Don't worry. I can handle this." I tell her. Nothing can go wrong with this, right? She just needs a place to stay, and that's it.

Even though I think everything will be fine, I want to go back to California with Ryan. I want us to go back where it was just me and him. It seems like we can't catch a break.

"So she's going to be there when you get off of work?"

"Pretty much. Ryan is going to pick me up and she should be there already." I nod. I'm not sure if I'm ready to meet her yet.


	16. Eric

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley knew that Ryan's wife would provide a new chapter of drama but nothing could have prepared her for this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I'm going to say is that things might seem weird, but give it time. Everything will be answered. Eventually.

I clock out and meet Ryan outside. "Hello." I greet him with a kiss. He doesn't kiss me back. "Ryan?" He starts the car and starts heading to his house. "What's wrong? Why are we going to your house?"

"Sara wants to meet you." He says quietly. He doesn't sound like his usual confident self. 

"Why?" I scoff. "Why would I want to meet her?"

"There's something I need to show you." He sounds sad. Why? Ryan, what's wrong?

We pull up to his house. We step out of the car. Each stride towards the house seems to take forever. Ryan lets us into the house. In the living room sat a woman. She had petite figure. Her once brunette hair has now faded with streaks of grey and dull. Her lifeless brown eyes drift to me, widening once she sees me. I'm assuming she was expecting Ryan's girlfriend to be... older. More mature looking.

Next to her sits a little boy around seven years old with light brown hair and blue eyes. He sits quietly next to her on the couch. He looks a little like Ryan.

Why does he look like Ryan?! 

"Riley," Ryan breaks the silence. "This is Sara and next to her is Eric."

I offer a smile."Hello, Sara." I step closer to shake her hand. "I'm Riley. It's so nice to meet you."

Sara eyes me carefully before shaking my hand. "Likewise." She smirks.

The little boy, Eric, hops off the couch and walks up to me. The more I see him, the more I realize that he and Ryan have similar eyes. "She's pretty." Eric says.

"Of course she's pretty. She's still young." Sara responds. Something sounds spiteful in her tone.

Ryan speaks up. "Riley, Eric here is eight years old. That's around the time we got divorced..."

"Oh?" I look at Ryan. Where is he going with this.

"Oh, Ryan dear, you're beating around the bush. This is his son." Sara says quickly. A little too quickly. I almost couldn't process it.

"What?" I look at the boy. I guess I can see it. Eric has Ryan's eyes. But most of his features come from Sara.

The boy shuffles his feet, avoiding eye contact.

"Um, I wanted you to meet him since, I suppose he's mine." Ryan scratches the back of his head.

This is too awkward. How the hell did I get into this situation?

"Eric," Sara says,"Why don't you go explore the house."

Eric nods before walking upstairs.

I look at Ryan with wide eyes. Ryan is looking at the floor, looking uncomfortable.

"So," I start feeling the rage building up. Keep it under control, Riley. "If Eric is Ryan's son, why didn't you tell him about him sooner?" I cross my arms. Something doesn't feel right.

"Does that matter?" She shrugs. "Ryan knows now. Now he can spend time with his son. Right?" She looks to Ryan for support. Ryan nods.

I can see why Ryan married her. She's basically a female version of him.

"Anyway," She continues. "It's nice to meet you. I will admit, when Ryan told me he had a girlfriend, I wasn't expecting someone so...."

"Young?" I finish the sentence.

She nods. "'Caught me off guard a bit."

Silence. There's so much I want to say. So much I want to ask. But the words don't seem to come out. "I should get home." I turn to Ryan. Ryan nods. I wave goodbye to Sara. "Say goodnight to Eric for me." I say before we leave the house. I still don't know how to feel about her.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A CHILD?!" Olivia shouts over the phone. "NO!"

"Yes!" I move my phone to my other ear since Olivia just sound blasted my other ear. 

"So how is Ryan handling this?"

"He seemed calm about it. But I bet he was freaking out on the inside." I settle in my bed. It's been so long since I've slept at my apartment. I definitely miss falling asleep in Ryan's arms.

"So isn't it fishy that she waited eight years to tell Ryan about Eric?"

"I said the same thing!" I shout. "It's just so weird!"

"What if," Olivia pauses. "What if Eric isn't Ryan's son?"

I shake my head. "That's not possible. She was apparently pregnant when she left Ryan and she didn't know it. Eric has to be Ryan's."

"So? What if she was having an affair?!"

"Eric looks like Ryan." I hate to admit it, but that possibility crossed my mind. I hope that's not the case. It would break Ryan's heart if he found out she was cheating on him.

"I smell a rat," Olivia says. "And I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

"Oh, look out! Detective Livy is on the case!" I tease.

"I'm serious! Something seems off with this! And Riley, are you even ready to deal with this type of relationship?" She ignores the fact that I called her "Livy".

"What do you mean?" I tilt my head.

"You know I ship you guys super hard, but we all know that the age difference is already an issue to some people. Well, the fact that he has a child now kinda complicates things further. As your best friend, I just want to remind you that you are still young. Do you want to get tied down to that type of responsibility?"

"If it comes to that, I will be there for Ryan. I love him, Olivia. I would go through anything for him." I assure her. "Honestly, he might need me more than ever now."

"Okay! If that's your answer, then I shall support you support him!"

"Okay, I'll pretend that made sense. Let's talk about this tomorrow. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, amiga!" Olivia sings before hanging up.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan and I clock into work. We are greeted by Geoff. "Riley, welcome to your first official day as an Achievement Hunter employee. Unfortunately, we don't have much for you to do this week. You and Tabby are going to start recording next week."

"Why not this week?" I ask. Why bother coming to work?

Geoff sighs. "Tabby is... not doing well. She's in no condition to record anything."

"I hope she's okay." I say with concern.

"Yeah, me too..." Geoff walks on.

Ryan walks to the warehouse. I follow behind him. Why didn't he take my hand? "Ryan?" I call to him.

"Hm?" He says absently.

This "son" thing is really starting to get to him. "You haven't said anything to me all morning. You didn't even say good morning, I didn't get my kiss,"

"I'm sorry," He takes me in his arms. "Good morning, Riley." He plants a quick kiss on my lips. Something feels different about him today. I just want him to go back to that smug bastard I fell in love with. I hate seeing him so distant.

We sit at his desk as he works on editing. "So, do you have anything planned with Eric?"

He sighs. "I don't know. I don't know how I'm suppose to act around him. Since he's my son, I'm suppose to get to know him, right? But what if he hates me for not being in his life?" Ryan says softy. "What if I'm not going to be a good dad?"

I've never seen this side of Ryan before; lacking confidence and unsure of himself. I stand from my seat and slide onto his lap. "You will be a great dad. And you don't have to figure out this thing on your own. I'll be here to help. We'll get through this together."

I finally catch his attention. He gazes lovingly into my eyes. "I'm lucky to have you." He takes my face into his hands and pulls me into a kiss.

"So, um," Lindsay speaks up. "Did you guys forget that I'm right next to you?"

I pull away, giggling. 

"Sorry, Lindsay." Ryan laughs. I'm happy he's at least acting normally.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Sara, we're back!" Ryan shouts as we walk into the house. 

Sara descends the stairs. Eric follows behind her. "I hope you don't mind," She says, walking into the kitchen. "I started making dinner for everyone."

Ryan smiles. "Ah, you were always a great cook."

I mutter to myself. I TRIED to cook for him. It was a failed attempt, but at least I tried! I know he's not trying to make me feel bad on purpose. 

The table is already set. There's even a place set up for me. I sit next to Ryan.

Eric quietly sits at the table as Sara serves the food. I did notice that Eric occasionally stared at Ryan. Most of dinner is quiet.

Ryan clears his throat after minutes of silence. "So, Eric. Do you go to school?"

Eric shakes his head. "Not right now. It's summer break."

I lean over to Ryan. "What are you doing?" I hiss.

"I don't know!" He whispers back. He looks back to Eric. "Um, what's your favorite subject?"

"I don't really like school..."

I give Ryan a look. Come one, Ryan! Find something to connect with him!

"What do you like to do in your free time?" Ryan asks.

"I like video games."

There it is. I see Ryan's face light up. "What do you play?"

I see Sara smile as Eric begins to list some of his favorite games.

"Eric, it's time for you to go to bed. We need to get up early so we can get you to the baby sitter's tomorrow." Sara starts putting away dishes.

Eric pouts. "But I want Ryan to show me some of the games he has."

I notice Ryan's face drops after Eric called him "Ryan". Ryan looks at Sara. "Why are you taking him to a baby sitter?"

"I have to work tomorrow and he's too young to let him stay here alone."

"He can't go with you?"

"Ryan, why he heck would I bring him to work?"

They're starting to sound like a married couple. What does that make me in this situation?

"I'll watch him!" I pipe into the conversation. 

They both turn to me. "You won't mind?" Sara asks.

This is my chance. If Eric is possibly going to be part of Ryan's life now, I need to try and bond with him as well. "Not at all. My boss doesn't need me all week so I can save you a few bucks and watch him myself."

"Then it's settled." Sara nods. "Thank you, Riley."

"Does that mean I get to stay up later?!" Eric begs.

"No," Sara says sternly. "You still need your sleep."

Eric slouches. "Okay." He slides out of his seat and starts heading upstairs.

"Uh- uh, young man. Aren't you forgetting something?" Sara scolds.

"Goodnight!" Eric shouts as he speeds up the steps.

Sara shakes her head. "Goodnight." She heads up the stairs behind Eric.

Ryan takes my hand, pulling me from my seat. "Want to stay the night?"

"Is that a good idea?" I follow him to the living room.

"Why not? This is going better than expected. I thought you two were going to be at each other's throats but Sara is acting surprisingly civilized. Besides," He pulls me closer. "I could really use some company tonight."

"Ooooooh no," I giggle. "I'll stay but don't expect us to fuck. There's a child in this house and if he comes down here for a glass of water, I won't be the reason that kid gets emotionally scarred."

Ryan rolls his eyes. "Fine, but as soon as they leave, you owe me." He purrs in my ear. 

Damn it, why does he have to be so sexy?!

"So are you going to be okay with Eric on your own? We can probably bring him to Rooster Teeth. He might like it there."

"I want to get to know the little guy! We'll bring him to work another day." I promise him. "So, how do you feel about this "dad" thing now?"

"He called me Ryan." Ryan sighs as he spreads out blankets on the floor. "Like does he even know I'm his father?"

I think the real question is are you REALLY his father.

"He just needs to warm up to you." I crawl under the blankets. "And maybe he doesn't know. You might have to break it to him yourself."

Ryan mumbles as he lies down next to me and cuddles me close. "Can we just go back in time where things weren't too complicated?"

I plant a kiss on his forehead. I was thinking the same thing.


	17. Mixed Signals

"If you need any help or have any questions, just give me a call," Sara explains. "I get off work around four, but I'll leave early if I have to."

I nod. "Got it." I pick up Ryan's car keys and hand them to him as he passes.

Ryan smiles. "Thank you." He plants a kiss on my cheek. "I'll be back around five."

Ryan and Sara head to work. Eric sits at the kitchen table, quietly. Maybe he's bored. What do eight year old's like to do? "So, Eric," I sit across from him. "What do you want to do?"

He shrugs.

"Did you want to play some of Ryan's games?" I know he was excited about that yesterday.

Eric shakes his head. "I shouldn't touch his stuff without his permission. I don't wanna get yelled at."

Yelled at? "Eric, Ryan won't yell at you. He likes to share." I explain. "Ryan is a very kind man."

Eric looks up with his eyes sparkling. "He won't get mad?"

I shake my head. "Of course not! Here," I lead him to Ryan's Xbox 360. "Lets play Minecraft!" Normally, I would pop in GTA or something scary but I don't know what he's allowed to play. I don't want to get in trouble. "What do you want to build?" I ask him as the game starts up.

"I wanna build a city or something."

I suppress a giggle. This kid is so cute!

"Are you Ryan's girlfriend?" Eric asks as I hand him a second controller.

"Uh, yeah." I answer him. Why does he want to know that?

I start a new world for us to play around in. "Are you going to get married?" He asks bluntly.

"I mean, I suppose one day." I feel myself blush at the thought of being married to Ryan. It's too soon to think about, but it's something I look forward to.

"So what are you and Ryan to me?"

I freeze. How do I respond to that? "Eric, what do you mean?"

"I know what's going on here." He says.

Really? Because I don't. Please explain. 

"Mommy is trying to replace Daddy, right?"

"Eric, I'm really confused." Wait, who is he talking about?

"Oh, you don't know? Maybe I shouldn't say anything...." Eric shrinks back.

"You can tell me anything." I try to coax him. "If you don't want to talk, that's okay."

"Well," Eric thinks. "Dad left Mommy. So now Mommy is trying to replace him."

Ah, ha! So she's trying to take Ryan from me, is that it?! I won't let that happen!... Well, you know, if that IS what's happening.

"Mommy is sad that Dad left. But I'm kinda happy." Eric says, continuing to build a Minecraft house.

"Why is that?"

"He was really mean to Mom. He used to throw things and hit her."

I feel my heart stop. "What?" So what I'm gathering is that Sara got remarried and the guy was abusive. Man, I can actually relate to her.

"I know he's my Dad, but I didn't like him. Mom used to cry."

"Is that why you guys are moving into a new house?"

"We don't have a house. Mom couldn't afford anything after Dad left."

I'm sorry, WHAT? "So, you have no place to go?" I'm doing my best to sound normal. They don't have a place to live? So then I'm guessing they won't be out of here in two weeks. What's going to happen to them?

Eric shakes his head. "Mom said she's trying her best to find somewhere."

I feel bad. She's trying her best to support her child. 

"Mommy will figure something out," Eric continues. "She always does."

**Ryan's Point of View**

I have a son. 

I literally can't think of anything else. My thoughts are interrupted by my cell phone ringing. I don't recognize the number that shows up.

"Hello?"

"Ryan! It's Sara! Do you get off work anytime soon?"

I feel my heart skip. Why did it do that? Stop that. "In about an hour. Why?"

"Shoot! I got off work and my car broke down!" She whines. I remember hearing that whiney voice when I'd come home from work. She would rant on about anything that didn't go her way. I always thought it was cute.

"Where are you? I can get off early and come get you." I sigh as I get up to clock out. I'm not surprised. This woman has the worst luck in the world.

"I'm at the diner Quick Stop. You know where it's at?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way." I hang up the phone.

Geoff sees me as I'm clocking out. "Ryan, everything okay?"

"I need to pick someone up. They're stranded." I explain.

"Alright. See ya' tomorrow." Geoff waves.

I jump in my car and start driving off into the direction of the diner. That's here in Austin. Has she lived here this entire time and I just never saw her? It's a big town, but I'm sure I would have run in to her at some point in the eight years we've been apart.

I pull up and she hops in the front seat. "That damn car," She mumbles. "It's on it's way to the shop now. Thanks for picking me up, sweetie." She pauses. "Sorry, I mean, Ryan."

It's been so long since I heard her call me sweetie. "So how was work?"

"It was my first day. It was pretty easy." She shrugs. "I had to get a new job because of the move."

I nod, my mind still reeling after she called me sweetie. "Do you want to stop and get some coffee or something?"

She smiles. "Yeah! But what about Eric?"

"Riley's watching him. We won't be gone that long." I say as I pull into the nearest coffee shop. We get out of the car.

"You know," I say as I open the door for her. "Speaking of Eric, why didn't you tell me about him? I could've helped you with him. I would have liked to be in his life sooner."

"I didn't think you wanted a baby, Ryan. After the divorce went through, I figured why bother? Besides, I didn't rasise him alone." She tries to wave off the subject.

Oh.... "You got remarried? That's nice."

"I mean, he's not in the picture now. But that's okay. Me and Eric are better off." She says after we place our coffee orders. We take our coffee to a table. "We're going to be okay." She looks around the coffee shop. "Doesn't this bring back memories?"

"How so?"

"We met in a coffee shop, silly!" Her eyes sparkle. "Back home in Georgia, remember? I was working the cash register. You worked across the street in the local hardware store. You stopped in everyday for your lunch break. You never ordered anything. You would walk in, walk up to the counter, forget what you were going to order, then walk back out the door." She laughs.

Of course I remember. How could I not? "I didn't forget what I wanted. I got tongue tied around the pretty cashier I wanted to ask out." I chuckle.

She giggles. "Finally when you asked me out, you said "Wanna go out for coffee? Oh wait, you must be sick of coffee since you work in a coffee shop. How about a movie?" You were so awkward!" She attempts to mimic my voice

"Hey, jokes on you. You married that awkward teenager!" I joke.

"I did. And I'm glad that I did." She answers.

Silence. 

Why did you have to say that? You were the one who left.

"I messed up, Ryan," She looks down at the table. "After I left you, I got stuck in a bad relationship."

"What do you mean by bad?" I ask, trying not to focus on the fact that she actually regrets leaving me.

"He was abusive." 

My heart stops. Not her. Why would anyone want to hurt Sara?

"But don't worry," She continues. "I'm fine." She fakes a smile. I can tell it's fake. I know her too well. "I don't need anyone but Eric. I can raise him on my own."

I reach my hand across the table to hold hers. She looks up at me. "You don't have to. I want to help. He's my son, too."

She darts her eyes away. "Yeah. Of course."

"And Riley will help, I'm sure." I add. Can't forget about the love of my life.

"Yeah," She says flatly. 

What's with that tone? Does she not like Riley? 

"What's the deal with her anyway?" She asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Ryan, clearly, she's not like us." She crosses her arms.

I narrow my eyes. "What does that mean?"

"She's really young." She says. 

"So what?"

"She can't really do anything, can she? You aren't expecting this to be a serious relationship for her, right? If anything, she's using you." 

I sit there, frozen.

"I mean, think about it." She smirks. "You got her a job at Achievement Hunter, right? It won't be long until she starts hitting on a younger coworker."

"You're not being fair," I mumble. It's always been like this. She's sweet one second, then she's prideful the next. If she sees something she doesn't like, she'll say something.

"I'm only thinking of you," She says. "I know how sensitive you are. I'm just saying that young girls tend to be a little demanding."

"She's not like other young people. She's really mature for her age." I defend her.

"Ryan, you and I both know that it's not going to end well. You're just trying to chase your younger years. You can't get those back."

"That's not what I'm doing!" I shout. "Is it really hard to believe that we care about each other?"

She raises an eyebrow. "I'm impressed. You're actually showing some kind of emotion?"

"Sara-" I say in a warning tone.

"I'm not saying this to be mean, Ryan," She sighs. "I still care about you. And I don't want to see you get hurt by a little girl."

"You... still care about me?" I feel my heart sink into my chest. I'm having mixed feelings about this. I love Riley. But how could I not think about someone I used to love? Especially since I had a child with her.

"We were married. You expect me to just forget that?"

I shake my head. Why is she doing this now? "What are you trying to say?" 

"Nothing. I'm just pointing out that she's never going to have the connection we used to have." She shrugs.

"We should get back...." I stand up.

Sara springs up, as if nothing happened. Maybe I'm reading too much into what she's saying. But then again, this is Sara we're talking about. She's sneaky. When she wants something, she's tactical.

** Riley's Point of View: **

"Riley!" Eric calls, snapping me away from the window. "It's your move!"

Where's Ryan and Sara? I walk away from the window and comes back to the chess board. "You know, eight year olds are suppose to be playing board games like Candyland or Monopoly." I tease.

"Yeah, but adults aren't suppose to suck at chess." Eric mumbles under his breath.

"I heard that!" I giggle, ruffling his hair.

The front door opens. Sara and Ryan wander in.

"Mommy!" Eric jumps off the living room floor, running to his mother. 

"Did you have fun with Riley?" She smiles down at him.

Eric nods. "She's a nice lady." Eric looks up to Ryan. "Hi."

Ryan smiles and pats Eric on the head. "Hello."

I push myself off the floor, making my way to Ryan. "How was work?" I ask.

"Boring. You weren't there to keep me company." Ryan pulls me close, giving me a small peck on the lips.

I swear I hear a faint scoffing noise from Sara. I'm sure it's all in my head.

"Are you staying over again?" Ryan asks.

"No, I need to get home and start getting ready for Michael and Lindsay's wedding on Saturday." I shake my head. I wish I could stay. 

Sara steps in. "Are you both going?"

"Yeah," Ryan answers. "I hope you don't mind." He smiles weakly.

Why would she mind? And even if she did, why would he care?

"Not a problem." She smiles. "Eric and I can find something to do that day."

Eric tugs on Ryan's hand. "Ryan, I hope you don't mind, me and Riley played your video games."

Ryan grins. "Of course I don't mind. What did you play?"

Eric pulls Ryan over to his game collection, showing him what games we played.

"That's cute," Sara says, quiet enough for only me to hear. "Father and son. It's like we're a real family."

I narrow my eyes at her. She did NOT just say that in front of me. What does that mean? Is she really trying to take Ryan? "Excuse me?" 

She looks at me, confused. "I'm sorry? Did I offend you in some way?"

What am I thinking? She didn't mean it like that, right? "No, forget it." I shake my head. Now that I think about it, she didn't say anything wrong. Why did I take it that way?

Sara walks over to Ryan and Eric. I study them. Ryan is crouching down to Eric's level. Sara places a hand on Ryan's shoulder, listening to them talk. They really do look like a family. This is the life Ryan needs and what people expect him to have. I'm just in the way...

"I better go." I say, causing them to look in my direction.

Ryan knits his eyebrows. "You're not staying for dinner?"

I shake my head. "I'm really tired."

Eric runs up to me. "Bye, Riley!" He gives me a hug.

"Bye, Eric!" I smile and ruffle his hair.

"I'll drive you home." Ryan stands.

"Like always." I smile. I lock my fingers with his as we leave the house, making our way to his car.

"I missed you today." I admit. "Why did it take so long getting home?"

"Sara's car was having some problems, so I gave her a lift home. We got some coffee on the way back." He explains, starting up the car.

"Oh," I nod. I don't know how I feel about them being alone together, but I quickly dismiss the thought. I have no reason to worry. Ryan tells me everything. And he wouldn't fall back for his ex. But I realize Ryan needs time with his son (if Eric really is Ryan's son). With me around, I'll just be getting in the way. 

"So you're coming to work with me tomorrow, right?" Ryan asks.

I shake my head. "I have a lot of things to do before the wedding. Like shopping, taking care of bills, and maybe I'll start packing some things away. I won't really have time to see you until the wedding."

"Oh... okay." Ryan's face drops.

"So what color tie are you wearing to the wedding?"

"You're not going to try and match, are you?" He chuckles.

"What's wrong with that?" I pout. "I think it would be cute if we matched!"

He laughs. "Okay, I'm wearing a dark blue tie."

"That's not specific enough! Do you know how many shades of blue there are?" I playfully shout.

"You're crazy." He smirks as we pull up to my apartment. "We'll see at the wedding how well we match. But you know, I could just wear a different color and not tell you."

"You better not!" I pout. "If you're not wearing blue, I'll be upset."

He chuckles. "Blue it is."


	18. The Wedding

Thursday and Friday had to be the longest days ever. Maybe I'm exaggerating. But I've stayed by Ryan side everyday since I've met him. As much as I hate being away from Ryan, I know we can't possibly spend every waking moment together. He has a family to look after now. I can't wait to see how well Ryan and Eric are getting along now that he had more time to get to know him. 

As soon as I wake up, I jump out of bed. For once, I wasn't sleepy and I couldn't wait to get ready. I couldn't wait to see Ryan. I curl my hair, put in my contacts and apply make up. I slide into my dress. The dress fell just over my knees, the dark blue color compliments my strawberry blonde curls. As I finish getting ready, I get a text.

_Ryan: I'm outside._

My heart races as I strap up my heels and walk out to meet him.

I hop in Ryan's car. Instead of a good morning kiss, I was greeted with a wide eyed stare and a "Wow."

"You look "wow" yourself." I giggle. "I see you decided to stick with blue."

"Of course." He smiles and starts driving. "I told you I would wear blue, so I did. And the color of my tie is pretty close to your dress. You look beautiful, by the way."

"Thank you." I blush. 

Ryan places one hand over mine. "Not going to lie, I really missed you the past two days."

"Me, too." I reply. That's an understatement. It was unbearable without you.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Blue was a very good choice. The theme of the wedding is blue and white.

"We fit right in." Ryan leans in and whispers as we make our way to our seats.

I giggle. Once the ceremony begins, I can't help but imagine myself up there with Ryan. Ryan standing in front of me, saying his vows as he slips a ring on my finger. I smile at the thought. I wonder if Ryan ever thinks about getting married. Too soon, but maybe one day.

Michael and Lindsay exchange vows. Michael even started to cry. (I know, weird, right?) In the corner of my eye, I can see Ryan turning his head to me during the vows. Every time I look at him, he looks away, smiling. Asshole. I don't know why that makes him an asshole, it just does.

After the wedding ceremony, everyone makes their way into the banquet hall, where the reception is held. Ryan takes my hand.

"Let's see..." He leads me through the crowd. "Not us... Not us.... Not... Hey, I think I found our table!" Ryan pulls out my chair. The name tag in front reads "Mr. and Mrs. Haywood".

"Why did they do that?" I mumble as I blush. I sounded pissed. I was really happy, yet embarrassed.

He instantly picks up on this. "Hmmm... Riley Haywood. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" He teases.

"Shut it, Haywood." I warn him.

"My, my, is that anyway to talk to your husband,  _Mrs. Haywood_?" He leans in.

I blush harder. "Knock it off, you asshole!"

The rest of our table arrives. Our table consists of Tabby, Chris, Kerry, Miles, and Arryn.

Once the food arrives, I can't help but ask Ryan "So, how are things going with Eric?" And Sara. But I leave out that part.

"Great! He's starting to talk to me more," Ryan pauses to take a bite of food. "I told him about Achievement Hunter and he looked us up. He wants to come visit the office on Monday."

"That's great! He's going to have a blast." I smile.

"I know. And I bet everyone at the office will be surprised I have a son. I haven't told anyone yet." His eyes glisten with excitement. Looking at how happy he is, I can't tell him about the possibility that Eric isn't his. I really hope Eric is Ryan's son.

I look next to me. Tabby is slouching in her seat, her arms crossed.

"Tabby, we didn't get to talk much this week. How are you?" I lean over to Tabby. Tabby has been so distant lately.

She doesn't respond.

Michael and Lindsay walk up for their first dance as husband and wife. He holds her close as they sway to the music. Lindsay begins to tear up. Michael wipes away her tears. He whispers to her. It's beautiful. I'm so happy for them.

 I hear Tabby grumble.

. "Is everything alright? Ever since I came back from vacation, you seemed a bit off." I ask.

She shakes her head. 

Michael and Lindsay finish their dance.

"Let her be. If she doesn't want to talk, don't make her." Ryan whispers.  _You and Me_  by Lifehouse pours through the speakers. He holds out his hand. "Now, would you like to dance?"

I nod. I take his hand and he leads me to the dance floor. "I thought you didn't like to dance?"

"I can't dance to that electronic crap young ones listen to. I can dance to real music." He smirks.

"You're an asshole," I giggle as he holds me to him. "I actually like some of that "electronic crap" you're talking about."

He shrugs. "Not my fault that you have bad taste in music."

I laugh as we sway to the song.

_'Cause it's you and me_

_And all of the people_

_With nothing to do._

_Nothing to prove._

_And it's you and me_

_And all of the people_

_And I don't know why._

_I can't keep my eyes off of you._

"I don't care much for Lifehouse," Ryan whispers in my ear. "But I'm starting to love this song."

_There's something about you now._

_I can't quite figure out._

_Everything she does is beautiful._

_Everything she does is right._

"Yeah," He continues. "Definitely love this song now." He plants a kiss on my forehead.

Once the song ends, Ryan leads me off the dance floor. "Ryan, can you get me a drink?"

He nods. "What do you want? Malibu Bay Breeze? Vodka Cranberry? "

Haha, cute. He thinks I want a girly drink. "Nah, I'll take a Scotch on the Rocks."

He cocks an eye brow. "That's a bit strong."

"I rarely drink, but when I do, I like it strong." I respond.

"God, I love you." He chuckles as he makes his way to the bar. 

I return to the table. Everyone must have left to dance. Gavin pulls up a chair next to me. "Can I talk to you?"

I find this a bit strange, considering Gavin and I never talk. "Uh, sure. What's up?"

"I need help. I'm in love." Gavin messes with his tie.

"Oh, Gavin! That's great! Who's the lucky girl?"

"I can't say!" I see a blush sweep across his face. "I need some advice. She recently had her heart broken. I love her. And I've been patient with her. I've been trying to help her through this heartbreak. But when should I tell her that I love her? I mean, what's a good amount of time before I tell her?"

"Hmm.." I think for a moment. Gavin is in love. Sorry Olivia. "I think it's a good thing that you are giving her time to heal. I can't really tell you when to tell her. You have to gauge that on your own."

Gavin looks determined. "Then I think I'm ready." He scans the crowd. "I'm going to tell her. I'm going to go up to her and-" He stops once her sees something. I see the light in his eyes die. His shoulders droop and he stands. "Never mind..." Gavin hurries off.

I look over in the direction that Gavin was looking. I spot Tabby, leaning on Chris. She pulls him in for a kiss. Was Gavin talking about Tabby? "Gavin, wait!" I call after him.

Gavin stops. "It's hopeless..." He turns to me. "I tried to wait to tell her my feelings then she dated someone else, and now that I was trying to give her space to heal, she jumps to the next guy." His voice shakes. "I'm done with this. I just want to give up on her." He pauses. "....So why can't I? Why do I have to love someone who obviously doesn't think about me in the same way?" Gavin shakes his head. "I'm fine." He smiles. "Sorry, I just had to rant."

I put a hand on Gavin's arm. "Whatever you think is best, Gavin. You know, she might be confused. You never know, she might come around eventually."

"Yeah," He nods. "You're right. Carrying on like a child won't help."

**Ryan's Point of View**

I come back to the table. There's no one here. I place our drinks on the table and scan the crowd. Where did Riley run off to?

I spot her. With Gavin. She places a hand on his arm and leans in. Was she....

_It won't be long until she starts hitting on a younger coworker._

No. That's happening. That can't be what's going on. "Riley...?" I mumble to myself.

I take a step closer. They smile at each other. Of course. Why didn't I see this coming? Gavin is a good looking young man with a British accent. Why would she want to stay with me when she could have him? She doesn't need me. She could have him.

Who would want me? Sara was right. I'm going to end up alone. I can't drag anyone down with me. I'm just meant to be alone.

What am I thinking? I've never been this un-trusting before.Riley would never hurt me. Why am I letting Sara get to me? This is what she wants.

But still, I think I need to go remind Riley that I don't like her being too friendly with other men. 

I walk up and tap Riley on the shoulder. She spins around. "Hi, Ryan!"

"We need to leave." I tell her. 

She tilts her head. "Is something wrong?"

I start pulling her away. Gavin gives us a confused look.

"Ryan?" She repeats. "What's wrong?"

"I just missed you the past few days," I reply. "I was hoping we could spend some time alone."

Riley gets the hint and doesn't ask anymore questions.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We walk into her apartment. She pulls me by my tie and leads me to her room. I guide her face closer to me. "Did you miss me when we were apart?" I ask before gently kissing her. I feel her head nod. I deepen the kiss. I need her. I need to show her how much I need her in my life. And I have every intention on doing so. 

Without pulling away, my hands roam to her back. I pull down her zipper, allowing the dress to pool around her feet.

My fingers lace through her fire-y hair. I'm in love with her. She's all that matters to me. Her hands slide down my chest, unbuttoning my shirt at the same time. I let the shirt drop before placing my hands on her hips. She unbuckles my belt, I step out of my dress pants. I hold her closer to me. She feels warm and soft. I use my thumb to rub circles her hipbones. She giggles and pulls back.

"I didn't say you could stop kissing me." I whisper, bringing my lips to hers again. She drops on the bed, pulling me on top of her. I feel different when I'm with Riley. A good different. She doesn't point out the age difference. She doesn't make me feel old. She just makes me feel like a person.

I plant small kisses all over her lips, cheeks, and neck. "I love you." I say in between kisses. "I love everything about you. Your eyes, your smile, your voice, that sexy moan when I hit the right places," I continue. She giggles in response. 

That's when I remembered. 

I didn't bring a condom. I sigh and sit up. Riley looks at me with a confused look. "Something wrong?"

"Uh," I pause. She waits for me to speak. "I didn't bring a condom."

She huffs. "Why the hell didn't you think about that sooner?"

"I wasn't exactly thinking at the moment!" I defend. 

"Damn it," She pauses. "Maybe I should think about getting birth control?"

"If you really want to. It would make my life easier." I smirk.

She playfully punches my stomach. "Shut up. Okay, I'll see if I can get an appointment soon." She promises.

I move down, kissing her stomach. "But for now, we can have fun another way."

"Ryan, don't even try. The moment has past."

Fuck.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walk into the house. I find Eric is passed out on the couch. Sara is sitting on the stairs, wrapped in a bathrobe. "How was the wedding?" She asks in a soft voice.

"It was nice." I respond. I point to Eric. "Little guy is tuckered out, huh? Shall I carry him upstairs?"

Sara shakes her head. "That will wake him up. He'll be fine on the couch."

"Okay." I head to the closet, to take out blankets.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to sleep on the floor. Little guy is in my spot." I chuckle. I pull out my spare blankets and pillows.

"You know," She stands up and walks over to me. "You could just sleep in your room."

"Then where would you sleep?" I hope she's not suggesting what I think she is.

"I'm just saying it it your room. You might as well sleep there."

"Not when your there." I move around her, letting the blankets and pillows drop of the ground.

"Oh come on," She scoffs. "You act like we've never slept in the same bed before."

"Sara, I'm with Riley." I remind her.

She laughs. "Okay? We're just sleeping in the same bed. I'm not out to screw around with you." She chuckles. She starts heading up the steps. "Although, I remember how amazing that was."

" _Goodnight_ , Sara." I grit my teeth.

She shrugs. "I'm just saying." She says before disappearing into my room.

 


	19. You're Leaving?

**Riley's Point of View**

I slide into the front seat of Ryan's car. "Good morning, Ryan!" I give him a peck on the cheek. I turn around to Eric, sitting in the back seat. "Good morning, Eric!"

"Good morning." Eric says, rubbing his eyes.

I turn to Ryan. "Someone still sleepy?"

"We ended up staying up later than we expected. Eric wanted to go head to head in a few Halo matches. He's really not bad. He almost beat me in a few rounds."

"I DID win a few." Eric says from the back.

"Shh, you're supposed to make me look good in front of the lady!" Ryan says playfully. Eric laughs.

Once we get to work, we clock in and Ryan stops by the Achievement Hunter office. "Hey, guys," Ryan guides Eric in. "I have someone here that wants to meet all of you."

"Hey, Rye, who's the kid?" Gavin asks. 

"This is Eric. He's my son." Ryan answers.

The boys (and Tabby) pause what they were doing and look at Ryan with wide eyes.

"Son?!" Geoff's voice cracks.

"Yeah. I have a son! Isn't that great?" Ryan smiles.

Geoff's eyes shift to me. I simply shrug.

"Well, it's nice to meet you Eric. I'm Geoff." Geoff stands to shake Eric's hand. 

"I know!" Eric says with excitement in his voice. "I know who all of you are. I recently started watching the videos and I'm already a fan!" Eric plops down on Ryan's couch. "This is where Ryan sits from Lets Plays!" He jumps off the couch and walks to the game shelf. "These are all the games you play! Gavin knocked them all over before!"

Gavin blushes. "It was a weak shelf!"

"How old are you, kid?" Ray asks.

"I'm eight." Eric answers. "I just moved here so i don't have any friends."

"We'll be your friends!" Gavin shoots his hand in the air.

"I have a daughter your age." Geoff nods. "Her name is Lori."

"You and Lori should come over sometime." Ryan kneels down to Eric. "Would you like that, Eric? You can hang out with Lori."

Eric nods.

Ryan stands back up. "Lets head to the warehouse now. We'll come back in here later to record." Eric obeys and follows Ryan out. 

Before I can follow, Geoff stops me. "Got a minute?"

"Of course." I follow Geoff to the kitchen.

"So," Geoff says, grabbing a beer. He offers me one. "Ryan's son, huh?"

"Uh, yeah." I nod, taking the beer.

"Um, so how did that happen?" Geoff seems unsure about how to go about this conversation.

"Sara is staying at his house. And she brought Eric with her." I'm not sure what he wants me to tell him.

Geoff's face drops. "Sara's back? Why?"

"They needed a place to stay." I shrug.

"How are you feeling about this?" Geoff cracks open his beer and has a sip.

"I like Eric. He's a sweet kid. And Sara seems nice," I decide not to tell Geoff how jealous I am that she's there. Her presence in that house is postponing my move. "I'm just not sure if Eric is Ryan's son." I admit. "But according to Sara, she was already pregnant before she officially left Ryan."

"You think it's possible Sara cheated on him?"

"I hate to think that, but yeah. Something just isn't adding up with her."

"I agree. Why else would she wait so long to tell Ryan about his "son"?"Geoff uses finger quotes.

"That's what Olivia was saying." I nod. "I just don't know, Geoff. I want to warn Ryan or at least advise him to take a paternity test, but ever since he found out about Eric, he seems so happy. I don't want to take that happiness away from him."

"You make him happy," Geoff reminds me. "And, of course, if it turns out that what we fear is true, then he's going to be hurt. But we'll be there to help him through it. More importantly, you will be there for him." He continues. "But if you don't tell him, it might hurt more."

I nod. It makes sense. Either way, he's going to get hurt. But I have to be there for him.

"If I were you," Geoff leans in. "I would somehow get more proof out of Sara before you go to Ryan with no proof at all."

"I'll try Geoff." I assure him.

"Ryan is a good guy. Look after him for me." Geoff pats my back. "Tabby seems to be back to normal. You guys should start recording some Tabby Terrors today." Geoff says as he makes his way back to the office.

"We gotta change that name." I shake my head as I walk to the warehouse. Eric is sitting next to Ryan, looking at the monitor. "-This is the editing program I use. I don't edit as much as Kdin, Lindsay, and Gavin, but occasionally they have me edit some things. And here is where I store files-" Ryan looks up when I approach. He smiles. "Hey, beautiful."

"Hey," I pull up a chair and sit next to Eric.

"Ryan, what's this?" Eric picks up a small box off of Ryan's desk.

He chuckles. "That's the device I drove Gavin insane with. Want to see what is does?" Eric nods. Ryan rewires the box. It vibrates. "This is what I hid in Gavin's desk."

"Ohhhh, I saw that video." Eric examines the box. "I want one."

"We can build one when we get home. Then, you can annoy the heck out of Mommy." Ryan promises, turning off the box and putting it back in its place.

Ryan continues to work. Eric watches with fascination. Occasionally asking questions.

After a while, I decided to see if Tabby wanted to record. "I'm going to go record with Tabby." I announce.

"Okay, we'll be here." Ryan nods.

"Can I watch?" Eric asks.

I bite my lip. "These are scary games we're going to play. You might want to ask Ryan."

"It's fine. He' doesn't get scared by games." Ryan shakes his head. "He's a strong kid. It's hard to scare him. And Sara won't care." Ryan nudges Eric gently. "Go on. I'll be in there later."

Eric hops off the chair and follows me into the AH office.

Tabby perks up when I walk into the room. "Riley!" 

"I'm glad to see you're back to normal." I smile.

"I was going through a... hard time. But I think I'm okay." She nods. "I'm ready to be scared!" Tabby notices Eric standing behind me. "We have a guest for the show?"

"Want to be on the show?" I ask Eric. He nods. "Yep! We got a guest!"

"Lets do this!" Tabby hands us headsets and I help her set up the mics.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I DON'T WANNA PLAY ANYMORE!!!" Tabby whines.

"Tabby, calm down! Reconnect the keyboard! We're going to die!" I scold.

"Riley, you need to hide!" Eric points.

Playing Misao was a bad idea. Tabby and I switch off playing every five minutes "Tabby, how are you so scared? This games is not the scary!"

"I don't like this gaaaame!" She cries.

I sigh, reconnect the keyboard, and hide our character in a yellow tube. The monster pushes a button, killing our character. "Ah, what the hell?" I mumble under my breath. "Where are we suppose to go?"

"May I have a turn?" Eric holds the keyboard.

"Please! As long as I don't have to play!" Tabby says.

"You're such a baby." I laugh. "Go on, Eric. Maybe you can figure out where to hide."

Eric moves our character around. "Did you try hiding in this purple monster thing?" Eric makes the character walk up to the monster and the character hides.

"Ewwwwww!" Tabby whines. "How were we suppose to figure out something so gross!"

"Good job, Eric." I pat him on the head. "I honestly would've never figured that out." I turn my attention to the camera. "Well, Tabby seems to be cowering in a corner, so that wraps up this episode! Tune in next week, and maybe we'll finish this game! Later!" 

"Bye!" Eric waves to the camera.

I stop the recording and Tabby turns off the game. "That was awful!"

"You're a big baby." I laugh. "Want to try a different game?"

Tabby sighs. "What's next on the list?"

I pull up the game list. "The Grudge."

"Isn't that a movie?" Tabby looks over my shoulder.

"It's an indie game. It's a point and click horror game. I don't even think you will get scared by this game." I lie.

Tabby sighs a breath of relief. "Oh, good."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You lied! You fucking lied!!" Tabby screams, slapping my arm as the Grudge quickly shuffles across the screen.

"Hey, watch your language around the little one." I chuckle.

"I don't wanna play anymore! I quit! I quit this show! I quit this job!-" Tabby rants on.

"Okay, that about does it for us. Tune in next week. Peace!"

"Bye!!" Eric waves again.

I cut the recording and Tabby jumps out of her chair. "I need water." She mumbles as she staggers out of the room.

Ryan peeks his head in. "How bad was it?" 

"I'm pretty sure she almost pissed her pants." I laugh.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we clock out, Michael and Lindsay pass us.

"Oh, have fun in Australia!" Ryan waves.

"Thanks! We will! Lindsay smiles. "Enjoy England!"

I look over to Ryan. "England?"

"Um," He scratches. "I forgot about that. Yeah, I'm leaving on Thursday for England with Tabby, Gavin and Geoff."

Lindsay bites her lip. "Oops. Sorry. I thought she knew!" 

Michael pulls his wife's hand. "Come on before you cause more problems." He laughs.

My stare fixes on Ryan. He's leaving and he didn't tell me. "For how long?"

"Just the weekend. It will go by quick! I promise!" He assures me. "I'll be back on Sunday."

I sigh a breath of relief. It's only the weekend. I'm sure I can manage without him.

We pull up to Ryan's house. Sara is waiting outside. "There are my boys." She smiles. Eric runs to his mother to hug her. "Hi, Riley." She says when she notices me.

"Hello, how are you doing?" I ask. As long as she's nice to me, I won't have any reason to be mean to her. Must be civilized.

"Great! Although, I didn't enjoy the bus ride home. I can't wait for my car to be fixed." She says as we all file into the house. "I started making dinner."

"Allow me to help!" I follow her into the kitchen.

Eric pulls on Ryan's shirt. "The buzzing device."

"Oh! Right! Let me get the supplies. I think I have a spare Xbox controller I don't use anymore..." Ryan starts looking around. Ryan comes back with an old controller, some wires,and other things they need.

Sara hands me a head of lettuce and a knife. "Isn't that cute?" She says once they sit on the floor, taking apart the controller. "I'm so glad that they are getting along."

"Yeah," I agree. 

"It's so nice. It's like we're a real family." She smiles.

"But you're not." I grumble.

Sara gives me a confused look. "Did I offend you in some way? I'm just making a comment on how well they are getting along."

She's right. She didn't say anything wrong.... Right? I shouldn't be offended by that. 

"Besides," She goes back to stirring soup. "I just want what's best for both of them. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Now I see how she really is. I stop chopping and glare at her. "Lets pretend for a second that I don't. What, dare I ask, are you saying?"

"Look at him." She says. I obey and look at Ryan and Eric. Ryan is leaning over the device he's building, Eric is watching closely. Ryan looks.... happy. "He's a father now. And he's happy. The only thing missing in this picture is a wife and mother."

She's.... right.... Wait! Shut up, Riley! That's what she wants! She wants you to give up.

"And you think that's you?" I raise an eyebrow. "True, you're Eric's mother. But what makes you think you would be a good wife to Ryan?" I snap. "You HAD your chance. And you ran."

Sara was not backing down. "You don't know Ryan like I do. I was his wife. You don't know his likes, dislikes, his past, what his turn on's are-"

"I don't care what you know!" I say a little too loudly. I lower my voice, making sure attention isn't drawn. "Maybe you used to know him, but you sure as hell don't now! A lot can change in the eight years you last saw him. I'm not going anywhere!"

Sara shakes her head. "You poor, innocent child. You really think you have what he needs? You're too young to be what he needs. You can't be a mother or a wife. Not now."

"Just because I'm young, doesn't mean I can't be everything he needs!" Keeping this conversation quiet is difficult. I really just want to take the lettuce and beat her over the head with it.

"Ryan needs me in his life. And he needs to be there for his son."

"I seriously doubt Eric is really his son!" I blurt out before I can stop myself.

Sara pauses, looking for something to say. "How much do you know?" She says with wide eyes.

Did I just stumble on the truth on accident? Success!

I cross my arms. "I know  _everything_." I lie. Hopefully she doesn't call my bluff. "I suggest you come clean to me now, before I tell Ryan everything I know."

"Wait!" She grabs my arm. 

We hear an outburst in the living room. "It works!" Eric shouts.

Sara releases me. "This conversation never happened." She mumbles and continues to cook. Although she had a surprising lead, I think it's safe to say I won this battle.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You're leaving? To England?" Sara asks as she washes the dishes.

Ryan nods. "Just for a few days. It's for work." He explains.

"But what about me and Eric? I was expecting you to be here this weekend."

"I'll leave you the house key and I have enough food to last you guys until you get back." Ryan assures her. "If you need anything else, I'm sure Riley won't mind coming to check on you two."

"Yeah," I give her a sinister smile. "I won't mind all." Ryan and I can keep Eric. Sara can.... just go away.


	20. Is it Sunday Yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley is just waiting for Ryan to come home. Three days isn't that long.... Right?

**Thursday**

I walk Ryan up to the airport security gate. "I'll call as soon as I land." Ryan promises.

"You better..." I mumble as he pulls me in for a hug. "I want to see pictures and I want to hear about the trip when you get back."

"Riley, it's not a vacation. This is for work." He chuckles. He leans in and presses his lips to mine. 

"I'll miss you..." I mumble once I pull away.

"I'll be back before you know it." Ryan says before planting a kiss on my nose. He picks up his suitcase and walks into the security line. I watch and wait until he gets past security. Past the security point, he turns around and waves goodbye. I wave back weakly and watch as he disappears into the airport.

I just wish he could turn around and come back...

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I bang on Olivia's apartment door. Once she opens the door, I collapse into her shoulder. "He's goooooone!" I whine. I'm not this needy, but I'm already suffering from Ryan with drawl.

"What? Wait, lets get in the apartment before the neighbors think I have weird friends." Olivia drags me into the apartment. "Now what do you mean he's gone?"

"He went on a business trip to England for three days." I pout as I plop down on her couch. 

"Oh, how long has he been gone?" Olivia asks, walking into the kitchen.

"He just left."

Olivia pokes her head back into the living room. "Seriously, Riley?" She sighs. She returns with a cup of soda. She hands it to me.

"I'm going to assume there's vodka in this." I say, sniffing the drink.

"How'd you guess?"

"You always add too much." I take a sip.

"How did you get to here, anyway?"

"Ryan's letting me borrow his car until he gets back."

"For work?"

"No. I have the rest of the week off. Tabby is gone, too. So we can't record more shows until she's back. And all the editing is done so there's no point in me going to work."

"Ah, I see," She nods. "I hate bringing this up, but how's it going with Sara and Eric at Ryan's house? Anything new?"

Oh, right. "I think I'm getting close to figuring her out. Let me tell you what happened earlier this week-" 

"Oh, shit. Hold on." Olivia sits on the couch and surrounds herself with throw pillows. That's her thing. When she's preparing herself for the worst, she surrounds herself with something comfortable. I don't know why. It's something she's always done. "Okay, ready." She nods once she's all settled in.

I tell her about the conversation with Sara. Once I finish, Olivia growls. "What a bitch. What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," I shrug. "What can I do? I can't exactly make her tell me anything. And she would be an idiot to just tell me everything."

"Well, she already seems like an idiot. She's manipulative, I'll give her that. But she's sloppy. She's not careful and she seems like she's ready to slip any secret if you play around with her a bit. She can play her little game, but we can be better at it."

I glance at my phone. I wish I could just call him

"Riley, stop it. He just left. A flight from here to England is like, what, seven hours?"

"Twelve." I correct her.

"Well, then stop waiting for a call. It's not going to happen for a while." She waits for me to put my phone down before continuing. "Now, here's what your going to do..."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I rush over to Ryan's house. I need to figure out what's going on. And I need to know now.

I knock on the door. Sara answers. Her face drops. "Oh, it's you. Hello."

"I told Ryan I would check on you. Where's Eric?"

"Eric's in the back yard." Sara steps aside and lets me in the house. "Come on, we'll keep an eye on him together."

I follow her to the backyard. We sit on the yard chairs.

"Riley!" Eric waves from the yard. I wave back and he continues playing.

"It's funny you should pay a visit. Eric and I were just talking about you. He's taken a real liking to you." Sara leans back in her chair.

"Is that so?"

"He likes the idea of you possibly being his step mother one day. I told him it wasn't going to happen." She says.

"And why is that?" I growl. I really doubt that Eric said any of this. He doesn't think Ryan is his father.

And neither do I.

"I don't know." She shrugs. "Just a feeling. You know, Eric really does like Ryan as a father."

"Better than the last one? Eric said your husband was abusive." 

Sara sighs. "Eric doesn't know what he's talking about. He's a child. He misunderstood some things."

"You didn't want to admit it, right?" I cross my arms. "You kept telling yourself that things would get better. You thought keeping him around would be better for Eric. You had no where else to go. Does that sound familiar?"

She pauses. "Sounds like you know the situation well."

"Too well." I say in a hushed tone. "I've been through the same thing with Brendon."

"Brendon, huh? Sounds like an asshole," She chuckles. "... I guess we're not as different as I thought."

"How did the two of you meet?" I drop the subject. I am nothing like her. And I never want to be.

"I don't remember." She smiles. "It was so long ago. He was sweet. Compared to Ryan's cold and distant behavior, he seemed to be the total opposite of Ryan."

"Seemed to be?" I ask. I will choose to ignore the fact she called Ryan cold and distant. He's not like that. Ryan...  I wonder how he's doing.....

"Tom wasn't how I thought he was..." She admits. "That's all in the past now. Now I can focus on the future."

So the guy's name is Tom... "A future with Ryan, no doubt?"

"It crossed my mind." She admits.

"Can't have him." I state. "He's mine. He won't be interested in you again."

"We'll see about that." She smirks.

Before I could argue (or rip her hair out), Eric walks up to us. "I'm hungry."

"Lets go make some lunch." She stands up and heads back into the house. Eric takes the seat Sara was in.

"Hey, Eric," I smile sweetly."What's your last name?"

He stares at me blankly. "Before or after Daddy left?"

"Before."

"Collins."

Tom Collins. Got it.

I ruffle Eric's hair. "Thanks, sweetie!" I get up to leave.

"Aren't you going to stay?" Eric says, sounding disappointed.

"I'll be back tomorrow. Maybe if your Mommy will let me, I can take you to the mall or the park or something. Okay?"

Eric nods. "Okay."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as I got home, I text Olivia and wait for her to arrive. I double check my calls to see if Ryan called. Nothing. I know he's on a plane. I don't know why I keep hoping to hear from him sooner....

Finally, there's a knock at the door. I let Olivia in.

"What did we find out?" She asks as soon as she enters the apartment. "Did we find out if she's a cheating whore?"

"Not exactly. I know her ex husband's name. Tom Collins."

"That doesn't help us much." Olivia thinks. "We can probably try and look him up but that name is too common."

"Olivia, I'm not planning on looking anyone up. That's creepy." I laugh. "I think I'm just going to let this go."

"What?" She huffs.

"I don't want to bother Ryan with this. We don't know anything right now. She technically didn't do anything wrong by remarrying someone. When he calls, I just want to talk to him and see how he's doing."

"Awwww," Olivia grins. "You miss your boo!"

"Shut up," I grumble. I do miss him. A lot. I wish I could see him.

"Anyway, are you saying you're not suspicious anymore?"

"If you think about it, we have no proof whether she cheated or not. So why be suspicious?" I shrug.

Olivia pouts. "I don't trust her."

"She seems harmless. She's annoying but I doubt she has an actual plan up her sleeve. Ryan isn't going anywhere. I'm sure of it."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I toss and turn, occasionally looking through my phone history. Still no Ryan. Okay, I'm pretty sure he would've landed by now. Hahaha... He's still in the air.... (Shut up, Riley).

My phone rings as Ryan's name appears on my phone. I don't hesitate to answer.

"Hello?!" I say in a rushed tone.

"Missed me?"

I melt at the sound of his smug tone. "Nope," I lie. "How was your flight?"

"Stop being mean. I know you missed me." He chuckles. "My flight was okay. I was asleep for most of it. We just checked in. It's six A.M. here and we need to be at the convention center around eight."

"Sounds busy."

"Yeah, and sorry I didn't call sooner. There was a situation with the rooms. Somehow Gavin and Tabby ended up sharing a room. I'm with Geoff."

I raise an eyebrow. "Is Tabby okay with that? Why couldn't Gavin just sleep in the room with you guys?"

"According to Geoff, Tabby's okay with it. She and Gavin have slept together before. I didn't want to know and I didn't want to ask questions."

In the background, I hear a faint "Not like that, you asshole!" from Geoff.

Ryan laughs. "Okay, whatever you say, Geoff. Anyway, how was your day, Riley?"

"I went to visit Sara and Eric for a little bit. Then Olivia came over. Not much."

"I gave Eric a call just before I called you. He said something about Tom."

Ohhhh boy, I was hoping to avoid this. "What about him?"

"I don't know. He said you and Sara were talking about her ex husband." He continues. "You know, it's funny. Tom used to live down the street from us."

Oh no. "Really?"

"Yeah. I guess they started dating after we got divorced." Ryan says calmly.

Or they were fucking while you were still married. "Yeah, probably."

I hear Geoff in the background say "Dude, we need to go."

"Geoff is making me leave." I hear the disappointment in Ryan's voice. "It's night at home, right? Get some sleep. Goodnight."

Nooooo, don't go.... "Good luck with the convention." I smile.

"I love you." Ryan says.

I hear Geoff gag.

**Friday**

"Is it Sunday yet?" I groan.

Olivia kicks me. "Stop it. Are we not enough company for you?" Olivia motions to Eric.

"You are. I just miss him."

Olivia dragged me out of the apartment to go to the mall. I didn't want to go, yet here we are. We managed to bring Eric along.

We walk the mall, Olivia ranting on about some new guy she's dating (although she still has an obsession with Gavin). Olivia's voice fades into the background. I look around. I see a few couples. One couple is holding hands, giggling to each other, clearly lost in their own little world. Another one is making out by the escalator. I don't think Ryan and I have come to the mall together yet. I'm not much of a shopper, but it could be fun. We can walk around and hold hands, go into random stores and try on stupid hats, maybe we could even be the couple that kisses in public, not caring about the world or what everyone thinks.

But right now, Ryan is away from me. And I don't like this empty feeling. I can't even remember how I functioned before I met that man. All I know now is that I need him.

"Ms. Olivia," Eric pulls on the Olivia's shirt. "I don't mean to be greedy, but can we stop for ice cream? It doesn't have to be now..."

Olivia smiles. "We can get some now! I love ice cream!"

We follow Olivia to a ice cream stand in the food court. 

"I'll have two scoops of mint chocolate, please!" Olivia tells the cashier.

"I want chocolate, please." Eric orders.

"Just a vanilla cone for me, please." I pull out my wallet, but Eric holds up his hand.

"I got it." He places money on the counter.

"Eric, you don't have to. We invited you. Let me pay." I try to pull out my wallet again.

"Gentlemen always pay." He insists. "At least on the first date. We can split next time."

Olivia squeals. "Oh, that's so cute! He's so well behaved! Best date ever!" She claps.

I smile. "Thank you, Eric." He certainly has manners.

After Eric pays, we get our ice cream and sit by a nearby table. I stare at my ice cream. All I can think about now is sharing ice cream with Ryan. Ryan would take a bite of ice cream. He feed one to me. A little ice cream would drip off of my lip. He catch it with his tongue.... Oh God, he needs to come home...

"Where did you get the money, Eric?" Olivia asks.

"I used to do jobs around the neighborhood before we moved. I have a lot of money left over." He answers.

"Why don't you use your money on yourself?" Olivia asks between licks of ice cream.

"I don't need much. As long as I make other people happy." Eric shrugs.

Such a selfless kid. I can't imagine where this kid got his manners. Clearly not from Sara and Tom.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The convention was great! One of the panelist couldn't make it, so we got to fill in for them." Ryan explains.

I lay in bed, listening to him talk on and on about his day. I love hearing his deep, soothing voice. "Sounds fun. A little practice for RTX?" I chuckle.

"Yep. And Tabby had some fans! She really has come a long way from when she started. She used to not be so popular with our audience. And people were asking about you, too!"

"That's awesome!" I cuddle up more in my blankets. They don't compare to Ryan's warmth.

"I can't wait to come home." Ryan sighs.

"I can't wait either... Can we get ice cream when you come home?"

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

**Saturday Night**

In just twelve hours, Ryan will be home. I stayed home all day in my pajamas, playing video games. Which reminds me, when's the last time I did a live stream for my fans? I should have Ryan guest star one day....

"You got everything?" I ask over the phone. I want to make sure he didn't leave anything in the room.

"Yes. I'm all packed and ready to come home. We're on our way to the airport now." I can almost see Ryan rolling his eyes over the phone. "Excited to see me?"

"Of course! I can't wait to see you!" I blurt out.

"Heh, I can't wait to see you either." Ryan chuckles. "Okay, we are now pulling up to the airport. I'll see you soon."

He hangs up before I could say goodbye. I just put my phone up and attempt to sleep.

Hurry home, you idiot....

**Sunday**

I look at my phone as soon as I wake up. I frown when I see that it's only 8:00 A.M. Ryan won't be home for another three hours. What the hell am I going to do until then?

My phone begins to ring. Hoping it's Ryan (for whatever stupid reason) I answer. "Hello, baby!"

"Uh, hey Riley." The male voice (that's not Ryan) sounds stunned on the line. It's Brendon.

"Oh, hey. Sorry. I thought you were Ryan." I say in a flat tone. I don't really hate him right now, it's just.... well.... he's not Ryan, so I'm not interested in talking to him. Actually, I almost forgot Brendon existed with all the drama with Sara and Ryan.

"Oh," Brendon tries to hide his disappointment. "Are you busy today? I was hoping we could hang out."

Why the hell would I want to do that? "I'm waiting for Ryan to come home."

"Oh, well, listen, I've been talking with Olivia and I've been thinking about some things. I think we should talk."

About what?! I feel myself getting agitated. "Fine. Just not today."

"You have to promise. This is seriously important."

I scoff. "Really? How important?"

"Okay, maybe not that important. But it would mean a lot to me." He admits, sheepishly.

I'll deal with this later. I just want to see Ryan. "Sure, whatever."

"Cool, so when-"

I hang up the phone. I don't want to know what he wants to talk about. I already have too much to worry about. It seems ever since Ryan and I started dating, it's been one problem after the other. When are we going to get some down time, to just relax and be worry free? I turn on laptop and start playing Outlast. Maybe some mind- numbing fear will make time go faster.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I find myself pacing back and forth by my front door, occasionally looking through the peep hole. Why hasn't he called yet? I look at the clock for what seems to be the hundredth time. It's 12:30. He should have landed by now.

I hear a knock at the door. I rip open the door. I sigh a breath of relief when I see Ryan in my door way.

"Missed me?" He says in a low voice with a smile across his face.

"Ryan!" I pounce into his arms. I crash my lips into his. He wraps his arms around my waist, drawing me closer. I pull him into the apartment, my lips never leaving his.

He pulls away. "I have to get home soon, but I wanted to see you first. And also you still have my car." He laughs as I roll my eyes. He pulls me in for another kiss. "I've missed you so much." He sighs. "I couldn't stop thinking about you."

I feel my heart leap. Ryan never struck me as a emotional guy, yet here he is, telling me how much he missed me. Just the thought of Ryan missing me as much as I missed him makes me feel happy.

"Lets go home. I want to see Eric." Ryan smiles. "We can get lunch or something."

"Aren't you tired? I mean surely you must be jet lagged."

"Nah," He waves his hand. "I'm just excited to be back home and to see you and Eric."

I take Ryan's hand as he leads me outside. I give him back his car keys and we drive back to his house.

I don't know why, but I have the strangest feeling in the pit of my stomach that we should have just stayed at my apartment....


	21. A Relationship Without Trust

Sara opens the door, greeting us warmly. She seems happy to see us.

"Ryan! Good to see you!" She wraps her arms around his neck. "Hey, Riley! I have lunch ready for everyone. I figured Ryan would be tired and hungry after that long flight."

"Food?" Ryan's attention snaps away from Sara. He navigates to the kitchen.

"Yeah, he's hungry. " I chuckle. 

Sara closes the front door behind us. She hums as she walks around the house, tidying up the place.

"Why are you so happy?" I eye her suspiciously.

"I don't know what you mean! I'm always this happy!" She hands me some money. "Can you do me a favor? My car is still in the shop. Can you run out and get some stuff for me. I have a list... " She hands me the list.

"Uh," I look over at Ryan. I want to stay and spend time with him. "Sure, I'll be back soon." And it will be soon. I want to see him. 

**Ryan's Point of View**

I come back into the living room after eating. I look around. Where did Riley run off to? "Sara?" I call. "Where did Riley go?"

"I sent her to get stuff for me. She's been gone for about twenty minutes."

"Oh, how nice of her." I settle on the couch. "Wait, where's Eric? I haven't seen him yet."

"She's with Riley's friend, Olivia." She answers.

Ah. I'm alone with the ex wife. Great.

She plops down next to me. "Can I talk about something?"

"Since when do you need my permission to speak?" I chuckle. "You've always been so outspoken."

Her tone changes. "Sorry... I'm used to being told when to talk..."

My heart sinks at the look on her face. My once beautiful bride being hurt by another man. It's even more surprising that it was Tom. That man used to be so relaxed. I can't stand the thought of him hurting Sara. "You don't need permission from anyone to do anything." I tell her firmly. "What's on your mind?"

"I know I said I would stay here for two weeks, but Eric and I don't have anywhere else to go." Her eyes are glued to the floor.

I brush back her hair. "Hey, it's okay," I smile. "I like having you and Eric here." It amazes my how I still have a slight soft spot for her. I love Riley. But there's still that attraction to Sara. I married this woman. That's always going to be there. At least, I think it will.

She sniffles. "Really?" She leans on me. My face feels like it's on fire. "But Riley will be mad.... She doesn't like me very much."

I cup my hands around her face. "Don't be ridiculous. Riley gets along with so many people." 

Sara's eyes soften as they look into mine. 

"I mean, that's why I love her so much," I remind myself. "She's a very kind girl." I love Riley. My Riley. 

Sara readjusts herself and straddles my waist. Why am I not stopping her?!

"I think," She leans in. "You're confused, Ryan. Why do you keep denying we still have chemistry? Don't you still care about me?"

 "Of course I do..." I gulp. "I'm probably always going to have some kind of feelings for you. But you left me, remember?"

"She doesn't trust you very much." She rubs my chest. "What's a relationship without trust?"

"She does trust me." I've had enough of this. I flip her off of me. She falls onto her side on the couch. "And because she trusts me, I can't have you crawling on me like that. Understood?" I smirk as I stand up and walk into the kitchen. Riley walks into the house.

**Riley's Point of View**

I come back with the groceries Sara wanted. Sara is sitting on the couch. I walk past her. 

"Too late." Sara smirks as I pass.

What?

I feel my heart stop. I don't like that look in her eye. What did she mean by that? Did something happen? What happened?! 

I place the bags on the kitchen table. Ryan was in the kitchen. He greets me with a peck on the lips. "You disappeared on me."

"Well," I laugh nervously. "I'm here now." Did something happen while I was gone? I remember that Eric was out with Olivia. They were alone. Anything could have happened. 

"I see that." He kisses my cheek. "So I need to talk to you about something." He sits at the table. I sit across from him. What is it with people trying to talk to me about stuff? I don't like this. What did Sara mean? Why am I too late? I don't understand. Something must have happened between them. There's no other explanation. 

"So," He continues. "This isn't a big deal or anything, but Sara and Eric are staying a lot longer than expected."

I know they don't have a home yet, but can't she go somewhere else? Eric is fine. He can stay as long as he likes. "Why does she have to stay here? Can't she go to a motel or something?"

Ryan narrows his eyes. "What? Why would she do that when she can stay here?"

"Maybe because I don't want her here." I grit my teeth. I hate being jealous. But I don't want her here with Ryan. She's going to take Ryan from me. Or what if she already has....?

"Riley!" Ryan scolds. "What is the matter with you? I'm not about to turn my family away."

"So she's family now?!" I raise my voice. I don't know what came over me. I feel myself begin to panic. What if I am losing him to her? It only makes sense.

"I'm talking about Eric! And even if I do consider her family, so what?! She is the mother of my child! Isn't that family?"

She needs to leave. "I'm not comfortable with her being here anymore! Since when did you want her to be here? Why are you defending her?!" If I am losing Ryan, I know ranting and raving like a crazy person isn't helping me look like a good person. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop myself from spilling out everything I've been feeling since she arrived. 

"Remember our fight in California? Remember how you flew off the handle with no warning? Yeah, you're doing that now." Ryan says in a condescending tone. "That happens when hold everything in all the damn time."

"Don't you get it?!" I shout. I don't even care if Sara can hear me. "She's just trying to get to you! If she stays here, who knows what will happen?!"

"You want to know what would happen? Nothing!" He growls. "I wouldn't let it."

"I don't trust her!"

"You don't trust me." He corrects me. "What's a relationship without trust, Riley?"

I freeze. "What are you-"

Ryan cuts me off. "If you don't trust me, then what the hell are we doing?! Have I ever given you ANY reason to NOT trust me?!" He glares.

I've never seen him so angry... At least not at me. "I just-"

"Stop." He hold up his hand. He sighs. "I think you need to go for a bit. I'm obviously irritated from the flight, and you're bringing up suppressed feelings. Maybe come back when we've both cooled down."

"No!" I growl. "How about I don't come back at all?" I don't know why those words slipped out of my mouth. But they did. Damn me and my stubbornness....

Ryan's face softens from anger to shock. "Wha... What are you saying?"

"If she stays here, I'm gone." I cross my arms.

"G...gone?" He repeats. "What do you mean by that?" Moisture starts pooling around his eyes. He blinks it away.

"We're through." I feel my body begin to shake. That didn't sound right coming out of my mouth. Shut up, Riley! Take it back now!

I should have taken it back....

"Through?" He repeats again. He pauses. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Then we're through."

My heart drops to my stomach. 

"If you are going to be this jealous about who I let in my house, then we're done." He continues.

"Fine." I keep up a cold front. But I feel dead on the inside.

"Fine." He repeats.

I stand from the kitchen table. How the hell did it come to this? 

On my way out, I see Sara in the corner of my eyes, clearly amused at everything she over heard. "I can't believe that worked so well!" I think I hear her whisper to herself.

Oh, fuck you, bitch.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I trudge into my apartment. I walked here from Ryan's house. I don't even know how long it took me or how far I walked. All I know is that I'm here now, alone.

I'm alone. 

How are you suppose to live life? Before, I told myself I didn't need anyone. I somehow managed my life alone. That was such a dull, boring life. After I met Ryan, my opinion changed. I honestly started believing that I was meant to meet him. I'm suppose to be around him.

But clearly, I was wrong.

Maybe I can call him. Just one phone call, and I can apologize. It was one silly little fight. I shouldn't have let it blow up the way it did.

I pick up my phone to call someone. Fighting the urge to call Ryan, I call Olivia instead.

"Hey. I was just on my way to drop off Eric." She answers.

"Olivia," I whimper. I was crying. When did I start doing that?

"Whoa, are you okay? Are you crying?!"

"I..... Ryan....." Is the only coherent words I could spit out.

"I'm coming over now. Let me just drop Eric off." Olivia hangs up.

Moments later, there's a knock at the door. I dry my eyes as best as I can, but the tears won't stop coming. I open the door and Olivia walks in, with Eric behind her.

"He insisted on coming." She sighs. "He wanted to see you."

"Riley," Eric walks up to me. "What's wrong?"

Still crying, I plaster on a fake smile. "Nothing, sweetie. You need to get home."

"No." Eric says firmly. "Pardon the intrusion," He walks into my kitchen. "I used to do this for Mommy when she was sad." He says as he boils water. "Tea is very soothing and healthy. It's also yummy."

Olivia guides me to my couch and sits me down. She sits next to me. "Now, what happened?"

"Ryan and I had a fight.... I think.... I think we broke up...."

Olivia's eyes grow wide. "What?! A fight about what?!"

I see Eric peek over from the kitchen. I lower my voice. "It was about Sara staying at his house. I don't want her there anymore. Eric is fine. I love that kid. But she needs to go.... I got a little upset-"

"A little?" Olivia crosses her arms.

"Okay, really upset... I told him either she leaves or I do..."

"You realize you basically asked him to pick between you or Eric, right?"

"What? No, Eric had nothing to do with it." I argue.

"Uh, honey, if you're asking Sara to leave, you know Eric would have left with her. You kinda gave him a hard thing to choose from. He loves you, but his son had to come first."

"I like Ryan," Eric comes over with the tea. "But he's not my real father. I wish he was."

We look at him with a shocked look on our faces. We had our suspicions, but we didn't know Eric knew anything about that. "Eric, sweetie, there's no way to know that for sure." Olivia explains.

Eric nods. "Yes there is. Mommy made Dad take a blood test. My Dad is my real Dad. I don't like him though...."

Was this all we needed to do? Ask Eric? That was easy.

"So she is a cheating whore!" Olivia exclaims. Olivia's face drops when she realizes Eric is still in the room. "Sorry, Eric."

Eric shrugs. "I don't even know what that is..." He admits.

"Good," I ruffle his hair. "Lets keep it that way." I take the tea from him. "Thanks, Eric."

"No, really, thank you. You told us exactly what we need to know. We need to tell Ryan." Olivia stands. "Come on, Riley!"

I shake my head. "I'm not going anywhere...."

"What?!" Olivia shouts.

"He's probably already upset.... We will just make it worse...."

"But the longer we wait to tell him, the worse he's going to feel. He needs to know now so Sara can leave," She turns to Eric. "You can stay." She turns back to me. "And then you guys can fix things. He's going to need you by his side for this." She tries to convince me.

"I can't hurt him like that. It's not our place to tell him about what his wife did. That's between them."

"No," Olivia growls. "Maybe it's not my business, but it's certainly yours. You love him. You're supposed to be looking out for him. He needs to know."

Eric shuffles his feet. "Did I cause you any trouble?"

I shake my head. "No, Eric. You didn't do anything wrong." I just want to see Ryan....

"Should I drop you both off to Ryan's?" Olivia tilts her head.

I nod. What else do I have to lose at this point?

**Ryan's Point of View**

I shouldn't have gotten that angry. I haven't moved an inch since she left. Why did I get that mad at her? And why did she blow up like that? I hate it when she hides how she feels from me.... Shit like this happens....

_What's a relationship without trust?_

Why the fuck did I listen to Sara?

 I need to call her. I pick up my phone. Sara walks behind me takes my phone out of my hands. She leans on me, wrapping her arms around my neck from behind. "You don't want to do that." She plants a kiss on my neck.

I should push her off. I want to, but I don't. What's wrong with this picture? Riley should be the one standing behind me. Not Sara. There's always been that desire to get Sara back. Now I just want her to go away.

"If she wanted to stay with you, she would've fought harder to."

I still don't respond. I know she's right.... I just want to see her. I just need to see Riley.

There's a knock on the door. Sara goes to answer it. Two people walk into the house. "Thanks for bringing our son home, but you can leave now." Sara smirks, holding the front door open.

"Fuck you, I'm not going anywhere!" Riley growls. "Sorry, Eric. Don't swear like me. It's bad."

....Riley....? I stand up and walk over to her.

"I know you don't want to see me," He emerald green eyes meet mine. "But I think we need to talk. I've had time to cool down, and-" 

I cut her off by bringing my lips to hers. We're obviously bad at staying away from each other. I just need her by my side. I don't want anyone else. Not even Sara.

"Um, didn't you guys break up?" Sara clears her throat.

"I didn't mean it," I say, still looking into Riley's eyes. "It was just a stupid fight, that's all. And I'm sorry."I pat Eric's head. 

"No, I'm sorry." Riley kisses my cheek. 

"Want to go somewhere?" I offer. It will be easier to talk without Sara breathing down our necks. She nods.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I drive us to her apartment. She doesn't say a word to me until we get in the front door. "Okay, I think our making up has to wait." She sighs. She pulls me to her couch. "I don't know how to say this... but Eric is not your son." 

I look at her for a moment, thinking about what to say. "Can.... can we just focus on making up....?" I feel lightheaded. Eric has to be mine. He... looks kind of looks like me.... He acts like me....

"Ryan," She places a hand on my shoulder. "Eric said that they took a blood test when he was little.... Tom is his real father...." She looks at me sympathetically. "I didn't know how to tell you, so I figured being direct was the best way to go..."

"But..." I don't know what to say.... "He has to be mine... Sara was pregnant when we were still...." I stop talking.

Riley just nods. She runs her fingers through my hair. "I'm sorry.... I just wanted to let you know.... I was debating on waiting but-"

"No," I stop her. "I needed to know that. I'm going to talk to Sara about it.... But I know you have no reason to lie to me." I pull her close. "I really needed to know that. Thanks for letting me know..."

"Are you...okay?" she asks cautiously.

"I will be... I kind of had a feeling already.... I mean... Tom did used to come over a lot...." Tom used to be a good friend of ours. Anytime I went out of town, he promised he would check on Sara... Oh.... Wait.... I take a deep breath. "I'll be okay... I'm just upset.... I thought I was a Dad....."

"Maybe it's for the best?" She offers. "And maybe there was a mistake! If you take Eric for a test, maybe you are his dad."

I shake my head. I know she's just trying to help.... But I doubt it.... I lean back on the couch. "Man, I'm an idiot." I chuckle. "Sara has done nothing but cause us problems since she got here..."

Riley cuddles under my arms. "You can stay here if you don't want to face her...."

"I just need a few minutes away from her, but I do need to face this." I pull her close. "But seriously, are we okay?"

She nods.

"Then I'll be okay." 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What are you going to say to her?" Riley asks, trying to keep up as I rush through the front door.

"Sara!" I shout up the stairs. I wanted to be calm about this, but I can't see straight. I just want to get to the bottom of this.

"Ryan, I know you're upset, but maybe you shouldn't start a scene." Riley trails in behind me.

Sara descends the stairs. "What are you yelling for?"

Eric comes down behind Sara, holding her hand.

"I want you to get Eric out of here. Take him for ice cream or something, I don't care. I don't want him in here for this." I throw her my keys. 

Riley nods and holds out her hand to Eric. "Let's go, Eric."

Eric is hesitant at first. He finally walks out with Riley. "Ryan's angry." I hear him say on his way out. "He won't hurt Mommy, right?"

"Of course not." Riley answers as she closes the door behind them.

"Ryan, what-"

I cut Sara off. "Did you cheat on me?"

She looks stunned. "What are you talking about?!"

"You KNOW what I'm talking about." I take a step closer. "Is Eric really my son? Or is he Tom's?"

Sara avoids eye contact. "Why would you question that?"

"What's the real reason you left?"

Sara crosses her arms, looking at the floor. "Ryan..."

"Sara," I feel tears welling in my eyes. "What's the real reason you left me?"

"He said he would take care of me....."

Damn it.... I didn't want it to be true.... "I wasn't enough for you....?" I had to ask.

"..... Not at the time..." She shook her head.

I don't know what to say... I was expecting some big argument or something but what else is there to say? The situation is simple; Sara cheated on me years ago and Eric is not my son. "Why?" My voice wavers. "Why would you do that to me? And why did you come back?"

"I told you I made a mistake," still avoiding eye contact, tears begin trickling down her face."I didn't know things were going to end up the way they did... The longer I was with Tom, the more I began to realize I had a really good thing going for me when I was with you. I really thought I could try and get it back.... I didn't expect you to have a girlfriend. Especially a beautiful young one..... You moved on easily..."

"No," I correct her. "It took me eight years to be ready for a serious relationship. Before that, it was nothing but a few dates here and there, and a few one night stands. I was emotionally devastated after you left." I admit. 

"But it seemed like you were trying to replace me...."

"Riley didn't replace you. Riley wouldn't cheat. And she wouldn't lie to me." I say out of spite. Sara lowers her head. I tilt her head back up. "You know, I always waited for you to come back to me.... I didn't give up on you...."

Sara lowers her eyes. "I'm sorry.... I can leave...."

I shake my head. "You and Eric are still welcome here.... But I have one condition. Stop coming on to me. It's making Riley uncomfortable and honestly, after I know the truth, it's never going to happen between us."

She nods. "I understand..."

"...We're done here..." I turn my back to her and head outside.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know how long I've been sitting out here on the front porch. Riley pulls up and Eric hops out of the car. He sits next to me.

"Riley told me what was going on...." Eric shuffles his feet.

"Oh? Did she?"

He nods. "I'm just a kid... So I don't understand certain things... But what I do know is that you've been more of a dad to me than my actual dad. So I was thinking..." Eric starts digging in his pockets. He pulls out a green pin and hands it to me. I take a closer look. The pin says Best Dad written in black bold letters."I don't care what a stupid blood test says. I decided that you're my dad."

Riley walks up smiling. "After getting ice cream, Eric insisted I took him to a dollar store. He wanted to get something for you and he saw these earlier."

"Is that okay, Ryan? Can I call you Dad?"

I put my arm around him. "Of course. I would be honored to be your dad. Now go on in. I know you want to check on your mom." 

Eric nods and heads into the house.

Riley sits next to me. I wrap my arms around her. "How did it go?"

"She definitely cheated on me." I sigh. "Can I stay at your house tonight? I just can't be here right now...."

Riley stands and holds out her hands. "I'll drive." She smiles. I stand and take her hand. True, we go through a lot of shit. But each time, she proves that she can handle it.

It seems the worst is over now... Right?


	22. A Pleasant Surprise

** Riley's Point of View **

Ryan approaches me after Tabby and I finish recording another "Tabby Terror".

"Ready for lunch?" He greets me with a smile.

I nod. "Yep." I take his hand and I follow him to the car.

"I hope you don't mind, before we get food, there's something I want to show you first...." He starts the car.

"Oh God," I groan. "What is it? It has something to do with Sara, right? I thought that whole situation was done! You said nothing has happened lately-"

Ryan cuts me off with a laugh. "It's nothing bad, I promise. I think you might like this. I wanted to surprise you, but with something this big, I might need an opinion."

I relax in my seat. "Okay, as long as it's nothing bad." I'm not ready for more drama. It's been three weeks since that horrible night Ryan and I almost broke up. Ryan only stayed the night that one night, but then he went back home the next day. Sara surprisingly has been keeping her promise and not starting trouble. We're both always on edge, though. When it comes to our relationship, something usually goes wrong. Mainly Brendon, my mom, Carolyn, and Sara. We're both just wondering what's going to go wrong next.

Ryan pulls in front of a white two story house. "Ryan? Why are we here?" I ask as he gets out of the car. I follow his lead.

"He should be here...." Ryan looks around. "Ah, he's inside already." Ryan takes my hand. "Come on."

"You didn't answer my question." I tug down on his arm. 

He chuckles. "Come on, you're a smart girl. Put the pieces together." Ryan leads me into the house. 

A tall, thin man in a suit greets us. "Nice to see you again, Mr. Haywood." The man looks at me. "This must be Riley." He smiles at me warmly.

"Uh, nice to meet you, Mr....?" I shake his hand.

"Ramon Barrett." He answers.

"Mr. Barrett," I repeat. "I'm sorry, I'm still confused as to why I'm here." I look at Ryan.

"I'll explain after the tour." Ryan says. 

Tour? Why is he showing me this house?

"Let's get started," Mr. Barrett rubs his hands together. "Right now, we're in the foyer. There's a closet right by the front door so you can store shoes and hang up coats. These stairs right here," He indicates the staircase to the right. "Lead upstairs to four bedrooms and a bathroom. But we'll take a look at that later," He leads us to another room. "Immediately to the left, there's the garage. A little past that is the kitchen, not too far down from that to the right is the living room, to the left, the dining room," The man shows us the rooms. The living room and dining room has wood panel flooring. A stone fire place sits in the living room. Other than that, the house is empty (Well, obviously). "Thoughts so far?" 

"I love it!" I squeal. I clear my throat. Pull it back, Riley. You don't know if this will be your house for sure. "I mean, It's a lovely house." I attempt to sound nonchalant. I hear Ryan snort, trying to hold back a laugh.

"Great! Let's take a look upstairs." We follow the man upstairs. "Right by the stairs on the right is another closet. Next to that is a full bathroom. To the left, is a small room for laundry. There's one bedroom on the left. The other two are on the right-" We peek in each room as we pass. "The master bedroom is this door at the end on the hall." He opens the door the the master bedroom and we walk in. It's a large room with a walk in closet and a private bathroom. The room has two large windows.

I instantly go to a window. The window over looks the backyard. There's a back porch and a large tree in a decent sized yard. It's perfect. I don't know for sure if Ryan wants to buy this, but I want this house.

"I don't think she's listening anymore," I hear Ryan laugh. "Riley, Mr. Barrett asked if you wanted to see the basement."

"I'm sure it's all wonderful, but Ryan, why are you showing me this house?" I keep staring out the window. It's so perfect.

"I've been thinking the last few weeks," Ryan comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "We were suppose to move in together before Sara came along. And this house was up for sale. I knew this would be something we both would love."

"But what about your old house? And Sara?"

"Sara is getting my current house."

I look over my shoulder. "Can you do that?"

"She's already been approved by the banks and stuff. The house is not my problem anymore." Ryan kisses my shoulder.

"I love this house," I sigh. "I really do. It's perfect. But I think this is too much space for us. Three extra rooms? What are we going to do with those?"

"Well, I was thinking Eric could have a room for whenever he wants to visit, one can be a guest room for your parents... the last one...."

"Yes?" I turn around. Ryan is blushing.

_James Ryan Haywood is blushing._

"The last one could be.... I don't know," He lowers his head. ".... A baby's room..." He bites his lip and looks at me.

"O- Oh..." I stammer. I feel myself begin to blush. (Man, I think it's contagious).

"I mean, we're going to be here awhile. I'm just thinking ahead to the future." He rambles. "You never know. I'm not saying we HAVE to have a baby, I'm just throwing it out there..."

"I want this house," I smile. "I could see us having a life here."

Ryan lets out a breathy, almost relieved laugh. "Great. This house is pretty much ours. No one else is bidding on it and I got the company down to a reasonable price. All I needed was your approval then the paper work begins."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We clock out, holding hands. I haven't stopped smiling since we returned from lunch. That's going to be our new house. I want to move in as soon as possible! "How soon can we move in?" I'm practically bouncing on my way to his car.

He chuckles. "Let's see... we still need to take care of paper work we got from Mr. Barrett, then a house inspection, then we need to set the closing date for the house-"

"Buuuuuuuhhhh!!" I groan.

"But after that, the house is ours and we can move in pretty much right after closing on the house." He brings my hand to his lips. "Then, we'll be home."

"How long?"

"Sometime during this month, probably." Ryan shrugs. We jump in his car and drive away from the Rooster Teeth building. "I'll call the realtor's when we get to my house."

"Alright," I sigh. "I want to move in now." I pout.

"You have to be patient. After I call about the closing date, I'll get started on all the paper work and get that out of the way."

"Better be quick..." I mumble.

We pull into Ryan's drive way. I follow him into the house.

"Riley!" Eric instantly jumps into my arms. "Did you see the new house?"

"Yeah! I'm so excited! How long have you known about it?" I playfully glare at him. "Keeping secrets from me?"

Sara comes to greet us. "Eric has been wanting to tell you. He didn't want to ruin the surprise." Eric walks away to play.

"Oh." I nod. I'm still uncomfortable around her. So far, she hasn't hit on Ryan, she hasn't been playing mind games, but I still feel like everything she does is part of an elaborate scheme.

"Sara actually found that house." Ryan informs me as he starts dialing the realators. Ryan plops down on the couch.

"Oh, um... It's a really nice house...Thank you." I shift awkwardly.

Sara nods. "The house was essentially made for the two of you. I could see you guys living there."

Is this her way of saying sorry? "I agree."

"Yep, no problem, I'll hold." Ryan sighs with annoyance in his voice. 

"Dad!" Eric comes back into the living room with his 3DS. "Oh, sorry, you're on the phone..."

Ryan motions Eric to him. "I'm on hold. What's up, bud?"

"I'm going to beat the monster." Eric jumps on the couch next to Ryan.

"Oh! Finally! Let me see." Ryan peeks over Eric's shoulder. I'm assuming Ryan gets off hold. "Hi, yeah I'm working on that paper work right now-" Ryan is intently watching Eric play the game. While he listens and answers questions, Ryan mouths "Go Eric!" and makes excited gestures towards the game as Eric beats the monster. I assume Eric wins because Ryan hi fives Eric and they celebrate silently.

"What a dork." I smile and shake my head.

"That's cute." Sara laughs to herself. 

I'm expecting her to add something like "They are my boys!" Or something. Instead, she walks away to the kitchen. I sigh a breath of relief. Maybe things are really calming down now.

Ryan hangs up the phone and stands up. "Closing is in two weeks." Ryan smiles proudly.

I gasp. "Really?! Oh, how did you manage to get it so soon?!"

"It took some convincing, but I told them everything would be taken care of by then and yeah, we can move in just two weeks."

"I love you so much." I leap into his arms. "Drop me off home! I want to start packing!"

"I wanna come!" Eric slides off the couch. 

"Eric, I just made dinner." Sara reminds him.

"Oh, never mind. Someone has to stay with Mommy." Eric gives me a hug. "Bye, Riley!"

"Later, little guy." I hug him back.

"Dad, are you coming back tonight?" Eric looks up to Ryan.

"Uh," Ryan looks at me, basically asking if I wanted him to stay the night. I nod, signaling that he doesn't have to stay with me. Ryan needs to spend more time with Eric. "Yeah. I'll try and be back before you're asleep."

We wave goodbye to Sara and we head out to Ryan's car.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where do you want to start?" Ryan asks as I let us into my apartment.

"First, let me text Olivia!" I pull out my phone.

_Riley: Sooooooo guess who got a house? :D_

_Olivia: You and Ryan?! Congrats! Where can I find a man to get me a house?!_

I put my phone away for now. "Why don't we start with my room."

"Hmmm... any reason why?" Ryan wiggles his eye brows at me.

"Stop that," I giggle. "I just thought it would be easier to start with my room."

Our fingers interlock and I guide him to my bedroom. Ryan spins me and holds me close to him. "I think we should have some fun first. You know, create some memories before you move out," He whispers. 

I close the space between us and bring my lips to his. It amazes me how I'm not shy around him anymore. I feel comfortable with him. He wraps his arms around my waist, deepening the kiss. 

"I love you," he says breathlessly as he slides his hands up my shirt.

"How much?" 

His lips twitch into a smirk. "Get on the bed and I'll show you."

There's a knock at the door. Ryan groans. I move around him to answer the door. He pulls me back. "Stay. Who ever it is will leave eventually." He pulls me close to him. "I want you all to myself." He dips down to my neck, nipping harshly. I feel bruises beginning to form.

There's another knock at the door. "Riley! Ryan!" Olivia sings through the door. "I know you're here! I see Ryan's car outside!"

"Olivia," Ryan growls. "Go fucking let her in."

I giggle. "Someone irritated?" Ryan grumbles in response. I leave the room to open the front door. Olivia and Brendon walk in.

"I heard you got a house!" Brendon smiles. "I'm so happy for you and Ryan. We can to help pack!"

Ryan comes out of my room once he hears Brendon.

"Oh, hey, Ryan." Brendon waves.

Ryan says nothing. He offers a nod as a hello.

"They came to help pack! Isn't that nice?" I smile. "Packing will go by quicker!"

"Yeah," Ryan mumbles as he walks behind me and hugs me from behind. "Great."

"Be nice." I warn him. 

"You owe me." He whispers.

Yeah, I suppose I do.


	23. Welcome Home!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley and Ryan move into their lovely new home.

I load the last of my boxes into Olivia's car. Today was finally the day. Moving day.

Most of my furniture went to Sara and Eric. They needed it after Ryan moved all his things out of the old house.

"So," Olivia says, slamming the trunk. "You're throwing a party as soon as you unpack, right?"

We hop in her car. I have butterflies in my stomach as we drive to my new home. "Of course!" I promise her. "Everyone from work is going to be there! And I'm going to invite some people from Mark's Publishing Co. as well. Especially Madison."

Olivia gives me a look of disgust. "Why  _her_?"

"It will be my way of rubbing it in. Remember when she was all "You guys will never last!" and shit? Yeah, I want to see her face when she sees how well we're doing!" I cross my arms.

"Good idea. Let me know, and I will invite her for you." Olivia laughs. "So, how does it feel to be moving in with Ryan?"

"I can't wait! Everything just seems so unreal right now. And even better, our relationship is perfect! No major fights, no obstacles. Things are just amazing!"

"I bet that sex life is lacking, though," Olivia mumbles.

"Hey, shut it," I blush. "We've been busy."

"When's the last time you guys had sex?" Olivia asks.

"Stop being so direct about that!" I scold. "The last time was that night in California-"

"You've slept with the man  _once_? How long have you been with him?!"

"About three months now." I sink lower in my seat. I have been wanting to be alone with him. It's just as soon as we came back from California, Sara and Eric came in the picture, work has been keeping us busy, and finalizing the house and packing took up a lot of time.

"Man, no wonder Ryan is so irritated." Olivia says.

"What do you mean?" I tilt my head.

"Every time I see Ryan, he seems irritated." Olivia shrugs. "Now, I know why."

No, it's because every time we are about to do anything, she decides to pop in. Ryan's annoyed with Olivia. But I decide not to tell her that.

We pull up to my new house (Excitement!). Ryan is already there with the rental moving truck.

"Olivia, can you do me a favor and take the boxes inside? I'm going to help Ryan move the heavy stuff."

Olivia nods an starts unloading her car.

I walk over to Ryan. He's starting to unload our couch. "Welcome home." He smiles when he notices me approach. He puts down the couch. I'm greeted with a warm peck on the lips.

        "Let me help!" I rush over and grab the other end of the couch.

Ryan raises and eyebrow at me. "You sure you can help lift? Everything in here is pretty heavy."

I roll my eyes. "Shut up and lift the other end." Ryan obeys and we carry the couch inside to the living room. It's not too heavy. What the hell is he talking about? "So, what did you get done so far?"

"The washer and dryer are set up, the new fridge came in, the city turned on the water and electricity today as well." Ryan explains. "Pretty much all we have to do is move everything in and we're good."

"Buying a house should not be this easy."

"It wasn't! You didn't see all the other stuff I had to do to get this place." Ryan reminds me.

"I love you." I smile. We set the couch down.

"Yeah, you better," He laughs as he snakes an arm around my waist. 

"I'm happy." I rest my head on his chest. "Today is the first day of a new life together."

"Safe that line for our wedding day." He mumbles under his breath.

"What?" I pull back.

"What?" He repeats.

Olivia stomps her heel on the ground. "Hell-o! It's your house! Why am I moving everything?!"

"Sorry," We laugh and continue moving.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I plop down on our new bed. Olivia finally went home and all the main pieces are moved into the house. We just need to unpack small decorative stuff.

"Uh,uh." Ryan leans over me. "No sleeping yet." He takes my hand and pulls me up.

"Ugh! Why?! I want to sleep!" I whine.

Ryan leads me into our master bathroom. "So, while moving in, I noticed something," He takes off his shirt.

My grow wide. "What are you doing?"

"If you take a look at the bath tub, it fits two-"

"Nope! I'm too tired for this! I just wanna sleep!" I try to leave the bathroom. Ryan grabs my hand.

"Wait," he laughs. "We're just taking a relaxing bath. That's it. I promise." He unbuckles his belt. "Unless you want more. I won't mind either way." He smirks and tugs at my shirt. "Off."

Blushing, I begin to lift my shirt over my head. I hate how easy it is for him to control me. Ryan watches me as I start undoing the button on my shorts. "Do you mind?!" I shout.

"Does it really matter? I'm about to see you naked anyway!" He laughs.

"Still!" I shout. I really don't have an argument against that.

"Fine." Ryan chuckles. He stops focusing on me and continues to undress. I watch as he slides off his boxers. "So, you can stare at me, but I can't?" He teases as he prepares the tub.

I can't stop my eyes from trailing down.... "It's not like you care." 

"You're right. I don't." He shrugs. "I sleep naked so you're going to be seeing a lot of this now that we live together."

I gulp and remove the rest of my clothing. The air sends a chill throughout my body. Ryan studies me for a moment. "So beautiful...." He murmurs as he steps closer to me. He places his hands on my hips and crashes his lips to mine. He pulls me in closer, deepening our kiss. His skin feel warm against me. Maybe I'm not too tired to have a little fun now...

Ryan pulls away before I could realize what's going on. "Well, since you don't want to have sex, I won't go any further." He smirks, stepping into the tub.

I fucking hate you.... I step in. He pulls me down onto his lap. I rest my back against his chest. The warm water surrounds my body.

"Oh! I almost forgot," Ryan reaches on the side of the tub and brings up a plastic jug. "Bubbles." He grins.

"God, how old are you?" I shake my head.

Ryan gives me a hard stare. "One is never too old for bubbles." He manages to hold the serious face for a few seconds, before bursting out laughing.

"Sometimes I question who the young one in this relationship is." I giggle.

"Young at heart." He smiles as he adds the bubbles. "Don't you think bubbles make a bath more relaxing?"

"I don't know. I shower like an adult. I haven't had a bath since I was five." I tease him. I won't admit it out loud, but a bath with Ryan is definitely relaxing. His strong arms wrapped around me, the roar of the water rushing from the facet, the combination of the bubbles and water...

Ryan kisses my shoulder, breaking my from my thoughts. 

"May I help you?" I giggle. I'm suddenly aware of Ryan's hardening cock behind me.

"Mmm...." Ryan hums. "What are you doing later?" He jokes.

"Sleeping." I smirk.

"Nope, I don't think so." He begins to nip at my shoulder. I yelp at the sensation of Ryan's teeth softly digging into my shoulder.

"Ryan!" I whimper. "You said this was just a relaxing bath! It was a trap!"

"You discovered my evil plot." Ryan lifts me out of the tub, then sets me down. "Bed." He jerks his head towards our room.

I gulp and obey. Once we reach the bed, Ryan pushes me down, sliding on top of me. The water and soap still on our bodies made it easier to grind into me.

"Ryan," I whimper. "We should dry off first. We're going to mess up the sheets."

"The sheets are getting messed up tonight anyway." He says before silencing me with a needy kiss. His hands roam all over my body. I moan into his mouth. He pulls away. "Best part is we can be as loud as we want." He says in a low voice. "You don't have to hold back."

Ryan reconnects our lips, grinding his hips faster. He reaches to the nightstand, opening up the drawer. He pulls out a condom.

"Wow, already have everything stocked?" I tease.

"Shut up." Ryan chuckles. He wastes no time. He rolls it on and slides into me slowly. A little too slowly...

"Damn it, Ryan," I growl. "Hurry." I whine.

  Ryan thrusts all the way in, making me gasp. "Better?" He smirks.

I nod, moaning at every thrust. Each thrust seems to go deeper and harder. He kisses me, feverishly. His hands grip my hips as he slams into me, hitting just the right spot. My mind races. I've never felt this much need for one person before. 

He pulls away. "How does this feel? This doesn't hurt, right?" He pants. I love how caring he is, even now.

"I'm fine," I smile. "Don't worry about me."

Ryan rests his forehead against mine. "I don't want to be too rough on you... But you just feel sooo good." He moves down and sucks on my neck.

The sound of a pleasured Ryan has got to be the sexiest sound I've ever heard.

Ryan continues slamming into me, the bed slams into the wall. I kinda want to scold him for possibly denting the walls, but every movement, every hard thrust feels too good to tell him to slow down.

Ryan's thrusting starts getting more rapid as we ride out our orgasms. Panting and sweaty, Ryan pulls out. I cuddle under his arm. "We really don't get to do this as much as we should." He says breathlessly. 

"We'll probably be able to now." I reply, yawning.

"You can sleep now." He whispers into my ear. 

I think Ryan might have been trying to talk to me after that, but I could barely keep my eyes open.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stretch as I wake up. I look around, feeling confused. Where the hell am I? This isn't my apartment.... Oh, yeah. I live here now. I frown when I notice Ryan isn't in bed with me. I feel my bones creek as I rise out of bed. I wrap myself in a bathrobe and make my way down stairs.

The smell of bacon and eggs fill the air as I approach the kitchen. Ryan is at the stove wearing a shirt and his boxers. 

"I wanted to cook for our first morning together." I pout. 

Ryan turns around, smiling. "I don't want our kitchen to burn just yet." He leaves the stove and pulls out a chair for me. "Have a seat. Foods almost ready." 

I sit down and Ryan sets a plate of eggs, bacon and toast in front of me. "Thank you!" I feel my stomach growl as he places the food in front of me.

"Did you want to go somewhere today? Or shall we stay in?" Ryan asks, sitting across from me.

"Let's stay here. I'm loving this house. I love the atmosphere of it." I feel myself grin. 

"I love it, too," Ryan reaches his hand across the table, his fingers interlocking with mine. "This feels right. Waking up, seeing you, eating breakfast together. This is a perfect Sunday." Ryan rambles. "Nothing can ruin this day." 

The door bell rings. Ryan frowns. "That better not be who I think it is." He mumbles.

"I'll get it." I sigh.

I answer the door. Of course, it's Olivia. "So!" She walks past me, inviting herself in. "We should all do something today!" Olivia makes her way to the kitchen. I follow behind her. Olivia frowns when she sees Ryan. "Really? It hasn't even been a day and you're running around in your underwear?"

"Yeah, I guess it's silly of me to wear what I want in my own house." Ryan mumbles under his breath. Luckily, I'm the only one who hears him.

"Actually, Livy, Ryan and I have plans already." I break the news to her.

"Oh," Olivia pauses but then shakes it off. "Then after work tomorrow, we should do something. We need to plan you're house warming party." I lead Olivia to the front door

"We will. Bye Olivia." I wave. She waves goodbye before I close the door.

I join Ryan back in the kitchen. I see the annoyed look on his face. I pretend not to notice and sit down to continue eating.

"You need to talk to her." Ryan huffs.

"Hmm? For what?" I bat my eyelashes.

"Riley, sweetie, you know I love you and I know Olivia is like a sister to you, but she can't just barge in whenever she feels like it." Ryan explains. "It was bad enough she would interrupt us before but now we live together. I don't think I could stand her walking in every day unannounced. We need our privacy."

"I know," I sigh. "But we've always been like this. We have always just shown up at each others places. Us living together is new to her, too."

"I understand. But seriously, please talk to her." Ryan refuses to let up.

"Fine, I will." I grumble.

"Thank you," Ryan returns to eating. 

I don't think Ryan understands the position I'm in. It's been this way with us for years. Olivia would allow me over to her place in a heartbeat. How do I tell her it won't be the same with us anymore? I love Ryan. But I love Livy as well. How can I break this to my best friend?

 


	24. It Was Nice While it Lasted

"Ryan," I step back proudly to look at the living room. "The house is finally finished!"

"And it looks perfect," He kiss my cheek. "Now we can start inviting people over."

We hear Eric walk down the steps. He walks into the living room. "Eric, how's the new room looking?" I ask.

"It's very nice. I love it." he smiles. 

Eric's room was very easy to decorate. He loves dinosaurs so we bought him dinosaur sheets for his bed and a toy chest filled with dinosaurs and toy cars and guy stuff like that. I even gave him a Barbie doll to prevent gender stereotypes. Eric was polite about it, but I don't think he cared for the doll....

"Can I stay the night? I want to stay in my new room." Eric asks, shyly.

"Not tonight, pal." Ryan sighs. "RTX is tomorrow and we won't be here to watch you."

"Oh..." Eric looks to the floor.

Ryan bites his lip. I can tell he feels guilty. "Um, if you don't mind getting up a little early, you can come with us. Just let me ask your mom." Ryan says, giving in.

Eric's eyes light up. "Thanks, Dad!" He shouts as he charges up the stairs.

"We'll call her later." Ryan plops on the couch and pulls me down with him. I cuddle next to him. I know he just wants to relax and cuddle. "Are you excited for RTX?"

"Yep!" I nod. "It's my first one ever! And I'll be in it! I can't wait to see how many fans I have!"

"I'm sure you have plenty of fans," he holds me close. "But none of them are will be a bigger fan than me."

"Wow, how cheesy," I roll my eyes. "Any other lame lines you want to throw in there?"

"Hey," Ryan tilts my head to look up at him. "The Mad King admits to admiring you. You should be flattered." He smirks.

"I'm not that impressed." I lie. I love having his attention. 

"Liar." He says before kissing me.

Tomorrow should be interesting.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ryan! Hurry up!" I shout, shaking him out of bed.

He grumbles and looks at the clock. "How the hell are you awake and dressed? It's only seven A.M."

"It's my first RTX! I'm excited!" I jump on the bed and lay on top of him. "Get up! We need to get there early!"

Ryan pulls the covers over his head, pushing me off of him. "No."

"Now look who's grumpy in the morning. " I tease. I pick myself off the ground and hit his hip. "Get up."

Before I realize what's happening, Ryan grabs me and pulls me back under the covers with him. "I said no." He cuddles next to me. "Sleep."

I wiggle out of his arms. "Come on! We need to get up now!" I whine. I just want to go to my first RTX! Now!

"Why are you so excited to go? Once we get there, we won't be able to see each other much." Ryan reminds me.

Oh... That's right. Our schedules are different. The only time we will be in the same room together is for the Achievement Hunter panel. "Why do you have to be in so many panels?" I frown.

Ryan pokes his head out of the covers. "Hey, I was kidding," he sits up. "I didn't mean to upset you. Be excited. It was cute."

"I only have a meet and greet for the fans and helping run the AH panel behind the scenes. I won't have anything else to do." I pout. I want to spend more time with Ryan.

"Then you can enjoy RTX. You can go to other events and stuff." Ryan gets out of bed and stretches. "Let's get Eric up. I bet he's excited."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We step out of the car. Eric walks beside us, rubbing his eyes. "Thank you for taking me." He yawns.

"No problem." Ryan pats Eric's head.

We walk into the back entrance of the convention center. Burnie greets us. "Hey, guys! The doors opens in fifteen minutes."

A man walks up to Ryan. "Ryan, I'll be your guardian for the event." The man says. I can't help but feel relieved that Ryan won't be by a woman all day.

"And I'll be your stalker or whatever." A familiar voice says behind me. I turn around to face Olivia. "Hello!" She nods. 

"How did you manage to become a guardian?" I shake my head.

"Hey! Be happy that we get to spend all day together! I never see you anymore!" Olivia whines.

"Really?" Ryan mumbles. "You're over the house all the damn time."

I shoot Ryan a warning glare. He backs off. "I'm going to start getting ready for stuff. I'll see you when I have a free moment." Ryan kisses my forehead and walks off with his gaurdian. Eric follows behind them.

"Eric, stay close to daddy!" I shout.

"I will!" Eric replies.

"Now," Olivia follows behind me as I start walking. "We need to discuss shipping names."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I laugh.

"You and Ryan! You guys don't really have a shipping name. Your first names are too similar!"

"We don't need a shipping name." I shake my head. I already have my Ryan. We don't need a ship name.

"Let me think... We could combine your last names," She continues. "Thomas and Haywood.... So it would be... Tomwood? No! Haymas!"

I shake my head. "Shut up, Olivia." Although, I'm starting to like the sound of Tomwood.

"Riley!!" A voice shouts behind us. I turn to find Geoff jogging up to me and Olivia. "We need you and Tabby to help us out."

"What's going on, Geoff?"

"The schedule got completely fucked up and we have a panel spot open. I was thinking you and Tabby could take the panel to answer questions and play a scary game for the audience."

"I'll do it," I grin. My first panel? Fuck yeah! "I'll just find Tabby!"

"Thanks. You two have one of the first panels. It starts in about an hour. Have fun!" Geoff runs off.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeee! Your first panel!" Olivia squeals. "I'm not a gamer, but I want to support my friend!"

"You have to, silly. You're my guardian. You have to stay with me, anyway." I laugh.

"Oh, right." Olivia shrugs. "Shut up. It sounds better if I'm being a good friend and not because it's part of my job."

My first RTX AND my first panel. Bring it on.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How the fuck did I get caught up in this shit...." Tabby grumbles as we set up for the panel.

"Oh, stop," I nudge her. "This is a huge honor! Do you realize how long it takes most employees to get recognized? Maybe a year or two. We started working here not even a year and we have a panel at our first RTX!"

"I guess... You're not the one about to be scared in front of a live audience..." She mumbles.

I roll my eyes. This is exciting! How could she not be grateful?!

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I dig out my cell to find a text message from Ryan.

_Ryan: I heard about your panel. I wish I could be there. Good luck, baby._

My heart flutters at the last part. Baby? He rarely uses names like that.

"Riley," Olivia pokes her head from back stage. "You and Tabby need to come back here. They are opening the doors soon. The guardians will finish setting up. Not me, of course. I don't know what to do." Olivia explains as she leads us behind the curtain. I hear the front doors open.

"I bet it's not going to be a lot of people." I sigh. "It's probably too last minute. Not that I mind, anyway. I'll be happy whether there's two fans or two thousand. Doesn't matter to me. I'll love them all!"

I start to notice an excited buzz coming from behind the curtain. I take a peek. The room was starting to fill up fast! AND there's still a line of people, hoping to get in!

"Tabby!!" I slap her arm. "Look!"

Tabby pokes her head out. "Whoa!" We pull our heads back in before anyone sees. "That's amazing! I don't care about getting scared in front of people. I can't let our fans down! Look at them all!" Her eyes sparkle. "They all came here to see us! "

That's the reaction I was hoping to see from her. "Let's go. Our fans are waiting!" We peel back the curtain and the crowd erupts with cheers and screams. I feel on top of the world! "Whhhhhaat's up, guys! Tabby and Riley in the house!!" I shout into the mic. More screams. "Sorry we don't have a cool intro like most panels. This was seriously last minute-" I continue to speak.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Tabby Terrors panel was amazing. Now, I'm sitting back stage as everyone is setting up for the Achievement Hunter panel. I feel a body press against me from behind and arms wrap around me. "Hey." Ryan kisses my neck.

"Hey," I blush. "Where's Eric?"

"He wanted to look around some more. I sent my guardian to keep an eye on him for a bit." Ryan responds.

 "Ah, okay. So how did the meet and greet with the fans go?" I turn around to face him.

"Great. Took a few pictures, gave a few hugs. Nothing too bad. When's yours?"

"Right after the Achievement Hunter panel. Then after that, I don't have anything left." I explain. 

Ryan nods. "Lucky. I have a few more things to do before I can leave. So," He pulls me close. "I'm thinking when RTX day one is over, we can drop Eric off at Sara's, swing by a grocery store," He starts planting kisses on my cheek, leading to my neck. "Buy some champagne, some strawberries, maybe whipped cream and see where the night takes us." His lips curl into a smile.

"Ryan," I giggle. "Where is this coming from?"

He shrugs. "I'm just trying to keep things interesting-"

"Riley!" a voice chirps. I look over and Olivia is standing behind me. Ryan grits his teeth as Olivia talks. "Since you're not going on stage with Achievement Hunter, what shall we do?"

"Do you really have to walk in EVERY time Riley and I are talking?!" Ryan roars. 

I jump back in surprise. Ryan is angry.

Olivia narrows her eyes. "What's your problem?!"

Oh no...

"I didn't say anything because I know how close you are to Riley, but you can't keep barging in on us!" Ryan eyes switch to me. "I gave Riley a chance to speak with you, but she didn't."

Olivia shoots back. "You live with her now! I never get to see her anymore! She's with you all the time!"

"Guys," I beg. "Please-"

"Even before we were living together, you were always around! You have the worst timing possible!"

"Ryan-" I start. But I'm cut off again.

"How dare you!" Olivia fumes. She sounds so much like Weiss from RWBY. "She's my friend! And what do you mean you gave Riley the chance to speak with me?" Olivia crosses her arms. "Riley is on my side. Riley is never annoyed by me. She loves having me around. I'm soooooo sorry that  _you_  have a problem with me!"

"Olivia-" Once again, I'm interrupted. This time by Ryan.

"I don't have a problem with you, Olivia. It's just that you need to let us have our personal space. You need to stop depending on Riley all the time!" Ryan shouts.

As the argument intensified, attention was being drawn.

"What's going on over there, assholes?" Geoff shouts from the stage.

"Is that Ryan? Ryan! Calm down!" Jack starts making his way over to us.

"Guys! Peace and love!" Tabby whines. "Kumbaya! Kumbaya!!"

"Ryan, stop being a pleb! You're upsetting people!" Gavin wraps an arm around a distressed Tabby. I know how much she hates seeing disagreements. "It's okay, Tabby Cat.." Gavin comforts her. That's cute. But I won't comment on that right now.

I cover my ears. I want them to stop fighting.

"I DON'T depend on her!" Olivia growls.

She's right. She doesn't depend on me. If anything, I depend on her.

"Guys, come on," Jack steps in between them. "That's enough. You two need to resolve this somewhere else at some other time."

Ryan takes a deep breath. "Fine. " He stomps off.

"What's gotten into him?" Olivia huffs. "He's acting so strange. Right, Riley?"

I freeze. I can't agree with her. I can't agree with Ryan either. 

"Riley," Olivia repeats. "Did you hear me? He's acting weird, right?"

"I don't want to get involved in this, honestly..." I shuffle my feet.

"Um, Ri, your boyfriend is trying to argue with me. You're suppose to be on my side." Olivia says weakly. "I thought I was your best friend."

"You have to understand...." I start off by saying. "You are my best friend. But Ryan is, too. Things are getting serious with me and Ryan and things are changing. I love having you around, but maybe you should limit the times you come over. I mean, you do happen to barge in a lot..." My voice trails off. I can't believe I'm saying this to her.

Olivia smiles, but her eyes begin to water. "Oh, I didn't realize... I mean... Yeah, silly me. Of course. I'm so sorry... I'll apologize to Ryan, too..." Her voice shakes.

"Olivia...?"

"It's fine. I understand. I don't know why I thought things would be the same. I'm so sorry." She blinks her eyes. "I'm still your friend, but I guess we won't see each other as much. That's okay...." She sniffles.

"I didn't mean that...." I lower my head. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"Hey, don't worry about it," She waves her hand. "I'll be alright. Again, I'm sorry for crossing the line. I'll try and be a better friend...." Olivia sniffles and turns her back to me. "Man, I don't know about you, but I'm dying of thirst! I'll go get us some water! I'll be right back!" Olivia sprints out of the room.

"Livy!" I shout after her. She doesn't turn around.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn around to see Ryan looking down at me with concern. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I shrug.

"Because you're crying."

"Huh?" I wipe my cheek. When did I start crying? And why do I always seem to not notice when I do start crying?

"I know that must have been hard for you, but it had to be said." Ryan reasons.

"I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She was crying! Did you see that?!" I sniffle. Oh boy, now I'm going to start bawling. I better calm down....

"We'll get her some ice cream later and she'll forget the whole thing, I promise. Now don't be sad." Ryan wipes his thumbs under my eyes. 

"I guess you're right..." I nod. I hope Olivia didn't take this too personal.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Still no sign of Olivia?" Tabby asks after we take a picture with a fan. Tabby and I have to share our meet and greet spot. Which is fine by me.

"Yeah, she never came back to the panel. I hope she's okay..." I sigh.

"At least RTX is almost over for us. Only ten more minutes. Did you want to go out to hang out afterwards?"

"Not today, Tabby. I'm going to stick around until Ryan gets out of his last panel. Maybe another day. But thank you." I shake my head. I know she's worried about me. But I'll be fine. Meeting our fans are starting to make me feel a little better.

"Why don't you go wait on Ryan. I'll wrap up this up."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, go on. You had a rough day." Tabby nods.

"Thanks. I owe you one." I smile. I turn to the line and wave goodbye.

I look down at my phone as I make my way to Ryan's panel. Olivia hasn't answered any of my texts. I call her cell.

She answers instantly. "Hello?" She sounds normal.

"Hey, where did you go? I've been looking for you all day." I realize I'm sounding like a mother so I add, "I had to get my own damn water." I smirk.

"Oh haha!" She laughs. "Sorry, I went home. I wasn't feeling well."

"So, um.... Did you want to come over tonight? Ryan and I wanted to make dinner and watch Netflix. We haven't done that in a while."

Olivia pauses. "Gee, I'd love to, but I already have plans. Maybe another night?"

"Oh," I frown. "Yeah, that's fine.... I just thought-"

"Hey," she cuts me off. "I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, Ri!!!" She hangs up. When I said she should come over less, I didn't mean she couldn't come over at all. I want to hang out with both of my best friends....

I remain silent on the car ride home. After dropping off Eric, Ryan tries to make conversation. "So," he clears his throat. "You're.... unusually quiet."

"Yeah...." I say, staring out the window.

Ryan sighs. "I meant what I said to Olivia, but I might have been a bit harsh on her. I understand how close you two are and she's starting to grow on me as well. We'll talk to her tomorrow, okay? Just be a happy Riley." He says as we pull in the driveway.

We step out of the car and walk into our home. "Okay," I finally say. "She was out of line, but we still need to apologize. There has to be a middle ground that will make us all happy. Olivia is like family to me. So that makes her your family,too."

"Fair enough," Ryan pulls me into hug. "We'll talk to her tomorrow. Now, how was your first RTX?"

"It was amazing!!!" I shout, jumping out of his arms. I start waving my arms in excitement. "There were so many fans! And people are going to send me fan mail, and stuff! And people wanted to hug me! And it was awesome! And some of my Twitch fan base was there, too! And-"

"Slow down," Ryan laughs. "Why don't you get comfortable and I'll start dinner for us."

"No!" I insist. "I'll do it! YOU go get comfortable!" I throw my purse on the couch and rush into the kitchen.

"Don't burn anything! If you need any help, you better come get me!" Ryan chuckles, making his way to the couch.

As I'm deciding what to make, Ryan shouts from the living room. "Riley, your cell is ringing!"

"Answer it for me!" I respond, looking through our cabinets. I really hope it's Olivia. I stop rummaging to listen in.

"What...? What's going on...? I really need you to calm down, Mrs. Thomas, I can't understand you...."

Mom? Now I'm worried. I walk into the living room. "What's going on?"

Ryan pulls my phone away from his ear. "Something is wrong. Your mom is hysterical right now. She passing the phone to a doctor."

I feel my heart drop. A doctor? What's going on?

Ryan starts talking again. "Yes... No..." Ryan's face drops. "How did that happen? I understand.... Yeah... Okay... I understand. Thank you, doctor." Ryan hangs up my phone. "Uh, Riley...." Ryan holds out his hand. "Come here, please."

I don't like the sound of this.... I take his hand and he guides me to the couch. He pulls me close to him. 

"Your dad is in the hospital right now.... They think he had a stroke. He's okay right now, but your mom is freaking out."

I knew I wouldn't like this.... "Dad...." I mumble. Dad is only in his fifties. He can't die. I can't lose my dad.... "I want to see him..."

"I'll talk to Geoff. Maybe we can go after RTX and we can book a flight and we'll fly out to see them." Ryan rubs my back.

Why does everything keep happening at once....?

"Do you need me to do anything?" Ryan tilts his head.

I bury my face into his chest and begin to sob.Ryan doesn't say a word. He just holds me close and strokes my hair. I can't stop. I don't want to lost my friends. I don't want to lose my dad. I just want things to be okay for a little while longer. Everything was going perfect. It was nice while it lasted....

 


	25. Saying Goodbye Pt. One

"Okay, I talked to Geoff. He said we can skip RTX. I'm going online later to see if I can get some last minute tickets." Ryan explains as he shakes me awake. I look at the clock. It's nine A.M. Not much happened last night. Just a lot of crying. 

"Baby?" Ryan kneels down on my side of the bed. "Are you okay?"

I nod slowly.

"I know you're lying." Ryan brushes my hair out of my face.

I don't respond.

Ryan sighs. "Stay in bed. I'll start making breakfast then we'll go from there." 

I try to say something or at least smile, but nothing. I just can't.... Ryan kiss my forehead and walks out of the room.

I tried to get a hold of Olivia but she didn't answer. I left a voice mail explaining things. Hopefully she can get back to me soon....

On cue, my phone begins to ring. Maybe it's Olivia. I crawl out of bed. I look at my phone..... It's Mom...

I press talk. I try to say hello, but nothing comes out.

"...Riley...? I'm assuming you answered.... You don't have to come down here to California..."

".... I want to see Daddy...." I choke out. 

"Honey..." Mom pauses. "He passed away this morning..." 

There's a ringing in my ears. "What? Ryan said he was going to be okay." Tears start trickling down my face.

"He was never okay. We all knew it was coming. We were just... waiting..." I hear Mom blow her nose.

I feel my blood begin to boil. Why would Ryan lie to me?! God, I hate being angry and crying.

"They're going to prep the body and then ship him to Alabama tomorrow." Mom continues.

"We'll be there as soon as we can...." I respond. "And, Mommy, I'm sorry...."

"...I'll see you soon, honey." She hangs up.

"Riley!" Ryan comes through the door way with a plate of food. "Oh, you're up! I was bringing food up for-" he stops when he notices my tears. "What's wrong?"

"You're a fucking liar!" I growl.

"What the- Riley?! What's wrong?!" Ryan sets the plate down.

"Dad died this morning!"

"Oh, I'm so sorr-"

"You told me he was okay!" I shout. 

"I didn't want to worry you!" Ryan defends. "I didn't know he was going to pass away so soon. I thought he would stay alive until we got there."

"So then that makes it okay to say that?!" I take a deep breath. "I don't even want to get into this right now."

"Okay." He holds his arms out to me. "Come here." I stumble in his arms and rest my head on his chest. "I should've told you. They told me it was going to happen. I just didn't want you to lose sleep over it. Whenever you're ready, we will start getting tickets together and go."

I nod. I don't have any choice. "I'll start seeing when the next available flight to Alabama is." I untangle myself from Ryan and walk over to my laptop. I power it up.

"Alabama? Why?"

"Didn't you hear Daddy's goofy accent? Mom and Dad are from Alabama. All our family is still there." I chuckle. I don't know why. This was hardly a situation where you could laugh.

"Oh. So why doesn't your mom have an accent but your father did?" Ryan looks confused.

"I don't know. Something like she hated her accent. Is this really the time to ask about that?" I snap.

Ryan throws his hands in defeat. "Sorry. I was curious. I wasn't thinking."

"Okay..." I scroll through flights. "There's a flight in four hours. If we start getting ready right now, we can make it, but...." I look at the price. "It's really expensive-"

"I don't care," Ryan pulls out his credit card. "I'll take care of it."

"We can probably just drive. Mom's probably not going to be in Alabama until tomorrow." I reason.

Ryan shakes his head. "But this is an emergency. Besides, we can start paper work, funeral arrangements, and things like that when we get there. God knows your mother is not going to be in the right mind set to do so."

"I don't even know if I can do this...." I mutter.

Ryan tucks my hair behind my ear. "You'll have me there helping you with everything. And if it's all too much, I'll take care of everything myself." Ryan plants a kiss on my forehead. "No one said you had to go through this alone."

There's another comparison. Brendon was there for me when Isaac passed away. Speaking of Brendon, I need to tell him about Dad.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan throws our carry on luggage in the compartment above our heads. "There," he settles in the seat next to me. "Did Olivia ever get back to you?"

"No...." I sink further in my seat. "But thanks for reminding me that my best friend isn't here for me...."

Ryan's face drops. He bites his lip. "Sorry...." He leans on the armrest away from me.

"Wait," I sigh. I can't be mad at him. "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to take things out on you. Everything feels so unreal... Olivia isn't here for me and my father died." Ryan turns his full attention back to me. That's what I love about him. He's always willing to listen. "This just feels like a bad dream... Like a nightmare... I'm just waiting to wake up.."

Ryan nods. I rest my head on his shoulder. I don't want to talk anymore. I just want to rest. Ryan understands and strokes my hair the whole flight, not saying a word.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I hate this rental car," Ryan mumbles. "It's too small."

"You're just too tall. Now pay attention. You're about the pass the house." I hold back a laugh. Seeing Ryan scrunch in the driver's seat is adorable.

Ryan pulls in front of the house. "So, this is your Aunt and Uncle's house, right? They know we're coming?"

"Yeah," I nod. "Mom called Aunt Terri and she knows we are here. They insist we stay here with them. Now remember," I tell him as we step out of the car. "Aunt Terri and Uncle Randell are very... how do I put this.... They're very southern. And my cousin might surprise you a bit.." I dance around the subject. "She's around my age-"

"Riley, I grew up in the south. You're family is not going to scare me," He laughs as he wraps his arm around my waist. "And I don't get surprised easily. Nothing will catch me off guard here-"

Ryan stops mid- sentence when cousin Johanna answers the door.

"Uh.... Um.... What?!" Ryan's eyes widen in shock.

I shake my head. "I warned you."

**Ryan's Point of View:**

I stare at the person who answered the door. It's.... Riley...?

I look under my arm... Riley is still there. But then why is she already in the house...?

"Ryan," Riley sighs. "This is my cousin, Johanna."

Johanna has strawberry blonde hair... Like Riley. She has green eyes... Like Riley... She..... She looks like... Riley.

_Just like Riley._

"Uh," I point. "That's.... That's you..."

"I told you you would be weirded out. Johanna and I share similar features." Riley laughs.

"Similar?!" I squeak. "I- I think- I need to sit down." I stammer. I understand that they are related. But they look too similar. It's really scary.

"Ya'll can come in." The second Riley- no, wait, her name is Johanna- steps aside, looking confused. Johanna has a thick Alabama accent, just like Rob used to have. "Riley, I'm sorry about Uncle Rob."

"It's fine. I'm worried about Mom." Riley answers. She leads me into the house. We sit on the couch in the living room.

**Riley's Point of View:**

From the look on Ryan's face, I can tell he's baffled. I can't help but chuckle at him.

I hear Aunt Terri shout from the top of the stairs. "That Riley?"

"Yes, Ma!" Johanna answers.

I don't understand why people think Johanna and I look alike. She's taller than me. Plus her face is thinner. 

"Well, if it isn't little Riley Anne!" Uncle Randell booms as he walks in the room. He sounds so much like Daddy.... "You must be Ryan," The man sticks out his hand. "I'm Randell. Rob told me a bit about you."

"All good things, I hope." Ryan stands to shake his hand. "Rob was a nice guy. I'm very sorry for your loss."

I love how Ryan always knows how to handle situations like this.

"Is this the man?! This is Ryan?" Aunt Terri runs down the steps. She makes her way to Ryan. "I'm Terri. We heard so much about you!"

"Hello." Ryan nods. "Thank you so much for allowing us to stay."

"No problem, boy!" Uncle Randell pats Ryan on the back. "My brother had a high opinion of you. You really left an impression on Rob." His voice changes. "Somethin' just don't seem right. I was just talking to him last week and now he's gone."

"I'm very sorry." Ryan lowers his head.

"Pa, can I show them their room?" Johanna jumps in.

"Go on." Uncle Randell perks back up. That's how my family is.

Johanna takes Ryan's hand. "Follow me!"

I narrow my eyes. She's holding Ryan's hand. My Ryan. I yank Ryan's arm away from Johanna and cling to his arm. Mine. Family or not, she can't touch.

Unfazed, she continues leading us to our room. "You guys can have this room. Aunt Sylvia is on a plane now. She'll be here around five."

"Sounds good." I nod. I wait for Johanna to go away. But she stays. "We're going to probably rest for a bit. You should probably see if Aunt Terri needs you." I hint for her to leave.

Johanna gets the hint. "Oh, right. I'll go. Get comfy." She finally leaves.

Ryan cocks an eyebrow at me. "Was that jealousy I just saw?"

I shrug. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You almost ripped my arm off to get me away from your cousin." Ryan smirks.

"Nope," I lie. "You imagined all of that."

"Fine," Ryan places his hands on my hips. "So, how are you feeling?"

"I'm... still trying to process all of this..." I answer honestly.

"So, is your family okay? They seemed fine but I'm not sure."

"Don't worry. My aunt and uncle never show that they're sad over a death. Most likely, they grieved before we got here. Now, they're trying to be strong for me and Mom." I say. 

Uncle Randell calls from the living room."Riley! You have visitors!"

Huh? I just got here. Who would be here to see me?

Ryan follows me back downstairs. Olivia and Brendon stand in the living room.

"Hey..." Olivia says weakly.

"Hi..." I reply.

"Me, your aunt and Johanna are going to step out for a bit," Uncle Randell says. I know he's giving us all space to talk and mourn and do whatever we need to do. "You have my number. If ya'll need anything, call us."

They shuffle out of the house, leaving me and Ryan alone with Olivia and Brendon.

"I got your message." Olivia's voice wavers. "I kidnapped Brendon and we kinda just flew in...." Her voice cracks. "This happened so fast...."

I rush to Olivia's arms. I don't even care about what happened. I just want my best friend. "I'm glad you guys are here..." I hold back a sob. I really am glad to see them. Yeah, even Brendon. "How did you remember my Uncle's house?"

"Duh, I used to come here with you every summer. Of course I remembered where to go." Olivia rolls her eyes.

"You invited yourself over every summer. I never asked you to come with me." I remind her.

Olivia shrugs. "You love me. That's why you allowed me to come."

"You're okay," I smirk. "You used to keep me sane." I turn to Brendon. "You didn't have to come."

"I wanted to see you. And see how you and your mom was doing." Brendon smiles. "I know you still don't trust me, but you guys were like family to me."

"It means a lot that you all came out here for this. Mom will be arriving later today." I explain.

The silence that follows is deafening. What do I do now...?

"Uh," Ryan finally speaks. "I'm going to let you all talk about things. I'm going to start looking into arrangements for Rob." Ryan rubs the back of his neck. "I'm not saying we need to plan anything today. It just helps to have some information ready. You know, when people are ready to talk..."

I nod. "Okay..." I'm glad Ryan is here. He always seems to know what to do. I'd be completely lost without him...


	26. Saying Goodbye Pt. Two

In the end, Ryan took care of the planning. Mom and I were not strong enough. Olivia and Bendon have also been helpful. While Ryan worked on the funeral arrangements, Brendon started repairing Uncle Randell's house, like repairing leaky facets, re-plastering some of the holes in the walls, repainting the kitchen. Olivia has been spending time with me and Mom. She's doing what she does best; trying to keep us positive. Olivia has been dragging the whole family around to the mall, some parks, and other fun places. Olivia is trying her best to keep our minds off of the sadness, and focus on he positive of living and being around family and friends. But now, tomorrow is the funeral. And sleeping is impossible

"Ryan," I whisper. Ryan continues to lightly snore. "Baby," I say a little louder, clinging to his back.

"Hmm?" He answers.

"I can't sleep..."

Ryan turns over to face me. "What's wrong?" He says, his voice thick with sleepiness.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye, Ryan..." 

One of Ryan's eyes opens lazily. I don't have to tell him what I'm talking about. He already knows. I know he's trying his best to stay awake to listen. 

I continue. "Dad was important to me. If I knew that visiting him in California would be the last time I saw him, things would've been different."

Ryan drags his hand up my side to my cheek. "What would be different? What would you say?"

"I would tell him I love him, of course. Maybe I would offer for him and Mom to come home with me. I would've been able to watch over them at my apartment... And maybe he would still be here..."

"Hey, don't do that. " Ryan says in a warning one. "Don't think this is your fault. Things happen. This is not how Rob wants his family to feel."

"I know..." I mumble.

"Besides, he didn't have a bad life. He seemed perfectly content with everything that happened. He had a wife that cared about him and a wonderful daughter. That's all he seemed to need."

"You're right. I just wish he was here." I cuddle up next to him.

"I know," He kisses my forehead. "Let's try and get some sleep."

I feel more relaxed in his arms. My body becomes less tense.

That's when I remember. Isaac and I were very close. I depended on him for everything. Then he died. Dad meant the world to me. I was a complete Daddy's girl. And now he's dead. Now, Ryan is the most important man in my life... So..... What if...?

I don't even want to say it. Just the idea causes me to stay up. I don't want to lose Ryan...

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sit in the car, not wanting to move. I know I have to get out. I know I have to go into the funeral home. But I can't move. I don't want to move. 

"Riley," Ryan pokes his head through the window, breaking me from my thoughts. "It's time." He opens the car door.

My legs shake as I step out of the car. I hook my arm around Ryan's and he leads me into the funeral home. The lights were dim and there were flowers everywhere. The place still looked grim.

"Did you want to stop and talk to some friends and family? Or do you just want to sit down and wait for the funeral to start?" Ryan asks.

I don't respond. I pull on his arm. He understands that I just want to sit down. As we walk to the front of the room, I can see my family and family friends stare as we pass. They know about Ryan. And they are all well aware of the age difference. I don't care right now.

We sit in the front row. Mom makes her way through the crowd. Her eyes look puffy, red, and worn down. "Riley," She sits next to me. "Maybe you should say hi to some people."

I shake my head.

"Okay," Mom smooths my hair. "I'm going to go around to talk." Mom looks over to Ryan. "Look after her for me?"

Ryan nods. "Of course."

Mom leaves Ryan and I alone. I sit in silence, looking at the open coffin.

"Did you want a closer look? Or do you want to wait?" Ryan asks patiently.

I shake my head again. I'm not ready to face reality yet. I don't want to be here. I just want to be alone.

Ryan laces his fingers in between mine. That's when I remember last night... I don't want to lose Ryan...

Tears pool around my eyes. I want Isaac back. I want Dad back. And I can't lose Ryan. If anything happens to him...

"Riley?" Ryan sounds concerned. He must notice the tears forming. "Do you need anything?"

I wouldn't be able to go on...

"Baby?" Ryan continues. "Say something to me, please."

"How is she?" A female voice (I think it's Olivia) asks. She crouches in front of me. Yeah, it's Olivia.

"She hasn't said a word all morning." Ryan answers.

"That's how she is," Olivia assures him. "Same thing when Isaac passed away." I notice Brendon was standing behind her. 

"She'll talk to Olivia." Brendon promises.

Ryan. It seems every time I get close with a man, they die.

"Hey," Olivia smiles. "Need anything?"

I shake my head, which causes her to frown.

Ryan needs to stay away from me. 

"Wow, she won't even talk to me. This is really hitting her hard." Olivia observes. "Maybe she'll be better once the funeral is over."

If Ryan is away from me, he'll be safe.

"What do you think she's thinking about? Her expression is blank." Brendon says. "It's kinda scary seeing her like this. I've never seen her this bad before."

"Shh! Brendon, what do you expect?" Olivia scolds. "She lost her father. You know how close they were-"

"Olivia, shush." Ryan warns. "Don't say anything that will upset her."

"Why am I getting shushed?" Olivia mumbles. "I was telling Brendon to shut up, then I get shushed! What the hell..."

I don't want to go through this again.. I don't want to lose Ryan. He's older than me. He's going to die first. What if he dies sooner than he's suppose to? I can't have that. Can't let that happen. 

"Riley," Ryan places his hand on my shoulder. "Are you going to be okay?"

My eyes meet his. I don't respond. The tears that were collecting in my eyes roll down my cheeks. I can't lose this man. He's too important to me.

"Oh, Riley," Ryan wraps his arms around me. "I know you miss your dad. But it's going to be okay."

First Isaac, then Dad.... Next is Ryan....

"No...." My voice is low and barely audible. 

Ryan pulls back a bit. "What was that?"

I shake my head and break free of his arms.

"I'm trying to be understanding. But I don't know what you want from me. Please talk to me," Ryan says, sounding worried. "I won't know how to help if you don't talk to me."

The funeral starts, giving me an excuse not to respond. Mom sits next to me. 

"We are here to celebrate the life of Rob Edward Thomas," The speaker begins. "That's right. Celebrate. Rob never wanted to focus on death, the past or the future. Rob always focused on the present. Rob was born here in Jasper, Alabama on March 19th, 1956-"

I feel Ryan's hand gently run under my teary eyes. "It's going to be okay." He whispers.

_It's okay. If you need to cry, then cry. Daddy's here for you._

I can't get Dad's voice out of my head.

_I'll always be here for you._

No, you won't.

_Isaac is in a better place now. But don't worry, I'm still here to protect you._

No, you're not.

Why aren't I scared of dying? Well, that's easy, Riley. I'm not afraid because I don't care what happens to me. I have you to look after. You and your mother are my life. As long as I know I'm doing my job right, I could die happy at any moment.

I look over at Mom. She's holding back her sobs. I link my arm with hers. Mom needs me more than ever. We sob silently together.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Rob must be loving this," Uncle Randell says as we walk to Dad's grave. "Rob is probably laughing at us for crying for him." He turns to Ryan. "Mr. Haywood, thank you. You set up everything."

Ryan shakes his head. "It was really nothing. I'm happy to help out."

We reach his grave plot. "Did anyone have anything they would like to say?" The speaker asks. 

"I will... I would regret it if I didn't." Mom steps forward. She places a hand on his coffin. "Shame on you," She sniffles. "You weren't suppose to leave me. Look at the scene you're causing. What am I suppose to do here without you? Who am I going to blame when the sink isn't fixed? Who am I going to fuss at when I want the yard work done?" Mom begins to shake. "Who's going to hold my hand when we watch those silly romance movies I love so much?"She pauses before continuing. "That's the thing about you, Robbie. You aren't suppose to leave me alone. You were suppose to stay with me. I was suppose to go first."

A sniffle can be heard here and there. A few sobs. Ryan squeezes my hand.

"This is where we say goodbye, my love. I hope I'll see you again one day. And I hope you find Isaac. Slap him when you see him. He needs a good hit for leaving us so soon." Mom chuckles, while wiping away her tears. 

Mom steps back as the prepare to lower the coffin.

"Bye, Daddy..." I whisper before weeping. Only Ryan hears me. He releases my hand and wraps his arms around me. I rest my head on his chest as I watch them lower Dad into the ground.

This is the last time I will ever see him.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you want to talk about it?" Ryan says once we are in the privacy of the guest bedroom.

"Talk about what?" This was the first time I responded to Ryan today. My voice is raspy from all the crying from the funeral.

"What's on your mind? If you want to talk, I'm here to listen." Ryan pulls me on the bed. he tries to cuddle my close, but I pull away.

"This has to stop." I say as I sit back up.

"What? The cuddling? If that's what you want, then okay-"

"No. Us. That needs to stop.... I fear of the day I lose you, Ryan. I can't lose anymore people in my life... It would be best if we never met."

Ryan is still laying on his side. He takes a deep breath before speaking. "This is about me dying?"

I nod.

Ryan motions me to lie down. Hesitantly, I obey. "I'm going to die one day," Ryan brushes my hair down. "But trying to distance yourself from me is not going to work. You already love me. And I love you too much to just let you push me away." Ryan's eyes lock onto mine. "We should just enjoy the time we have together. Isn't that what your dad did? He lived in he moment." Ryan pauses to give me a peck on the lips. "I love you, Riley. No matter how hard you try to get rid of me, I won't be going anywhere. I love having you in my life."

"Me, too..." I smile for the first time in days. "I love you... I just can't imagine life without you. It's a scary thought."

"Then don't think about it." Ryan shrugs. "I'm here now. So let's just focus on the now." He leans in. I meet him half way by pressing my lips to his.

Isaac is gone and now Dad. But even though they aren't here now, they were there for me when they were alive. And hell, who knows. Maybe they still are here.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Ryan's Point of View:**

Riley finally falls asleep. It's only three P.M. but she's had a busy day. She needs rest. I slip out of the bed, trying not to disturb her. I make my way to the bathroom.

I come out of the bathroom and Riley is standing by the door. "Oh, I thought you are asleep." I smile. I give her a kiss on the lips.

"Uh, Mr. Haywood....." Riley's eyes are wide open.

 I tilt my head in confusion. Wait.....

"That's not Riley," a voice says at the end of the hallway. My stomach drops. Fuck. This is Johanna. Brendon approaches me and Johanna. "Johanna, you are not starting this shit again." Brendon glares at her.

"I didn't do anything this time! I was waiting to go to the bathroom!" Johanna shouts.

"This time?" I raise an eyebrow.

Brendon answers. "She had a bit of an obsession with me. She would pretend to be Riley when we were in town visiting."

"Shut up!" Johanna blushes. "I didn't like you! It was acting! Acting!" She defends.

"Whatever," Brendon rolls his eyes. "Anyway, it was an accident. So no reason to mention it to Riley."

I pinch the bridge of my nose. "Okay, this was a big misunderstanding. It's not a big deal. Johanna, I apologize for the kiss. Maybe if I explain to Riley-"

"Are you sure that's a good idea to tell her? After her father's funeral?" Brendon crosses his arms. "She's unstable right now. It's going to hurt her."

"You're right. Maybe I won't mention this." I nod. This wasn't a big deal. Just a silly misunderstanding. No reason to bring up something so small.

**Riley's Point of View:**

I notice the bed is empty. Where did my silly Ryan go? I need a cuddle. I jump out of bed to find him

Outside the door, I hear Brendon talking. "Are you sure that's a good idea to tell her? After her father's funeral? She's unstable right now. It's going to hurt her."

What's going to hurt me?!

"You're right. Maybe I won't mention this." Ryan answers.

What the hell is no one telling me?! What was Ryan not going to tell me? 


	27. Brendon's Goodbye

"Home sweet home!" Ryan smiles as he unlocks the front door.

I don't say a word. I push past him.

"Okay," He sighs. "You haven't said a word to me since we left Alabama. Did I do something wrong?"

I spin around to face him. I cross my arms. "Is there something you would like to tell me?"

Ryan gives me a puzzled look. "Huh? No."

Fucking liar. "Then forget it." I make my way upstairs.

"What did I do?!" Ryan shouts after me.

I throw down a pillow and a blanket down the steps, hitting Ryan. 

"Really?" Ryan narrows his eyes.

"You can come back to bed after you tell me what's going on." I storm off to our room and slam the door. I turn the lock and dive under the covers.

Moments later, the door knob rattles. "Seriously, Riley?!" Ryan pulls at the door, causing the door to rattle. "Let me in. It's my room, too!"

I ignore him. If he's not going to tell me, then I didn't want to talk to him.

Ryan pounds on the door. "Riley. Open. The. Door. Now." he growls.

I continue to ignore him. I'm starting to feel bad. Ryan has helped me through so much. Maybe I should let him in?

Nah. I'm going to sleep.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The alarm wakes me the next morning. Ryan and I have to go back to work today. Time to wake Ryan up. I slip out of bed and unlock the room door. Without looking, I step outside the room, only to be tripped by an object. Grumbling, I look at what I trip over. Ryan was curled up by the door, complete with a pillow and blanket. 

"Hm?" Ryan opens one eye. Once he sees it's me, he says "Good morning." In a sleepy voice. He crawls on top of me, pulling the covers over us.

"Ryan-" I struggle to get away. Ryan's weight on top of me makes it hard to escape. No! He can not be sexy when I'm trying to be mad! It's not allowed! 

Ryan smirks as he nuzzles my neck.

 "Ryan, stop it!" I warn. "Do you realize we are on the floor?"

"I don't care." He grinds his erection into me.

"Why the hell are you horny in the morning?!" I whine.

"It's the morning and I'm a guy. Don't blame me. I can't help it. It happens sometimes." He says before nipping at my neck.

"Ryan, I swear-"

"Tell me what's wrong." He demands.

"No!" I have to stay strong.

Ryan shrugs. "Suit yourself." Ryan slides his hands up my shirt.

"We have to get ready for work!" I argue.

"We can be late for all I care, sweetheart. All you have to do is tell me and this can all be over."

"You're threatening me with sex? What kind of a punishment is that?" This was not one of his best ideas.

"Oh, no. You don't understand," He smirks. "Sex isn't the punishment. This is-" Ryan presses into me harder, causing me to moan. "Teasing. No one ever said I was going to do anything with you."

I glare at him. "You wouldn't do that to me."

"Oh, but I am," He leans in, lingering, our lips barely touching. "I can do this all day."

"You are a sick bastard!" I whine. "There's no way you can do this! You want it just as much as me!"

"Ah, but the thing is, I'm used to being interrupted, so I'm used to having to just deal with it. I'll have to thank Olivia later. Her interruptions have actually helped me."

God damn it, Olivia.

I try to squirm away. "Ryan," I beg. "Either do something or let me go!"

"Hmmmm..." Ryan hums. "I could easily take care of you, but I need you to tell me why you're angry with me."

"Fine!" I shout. "I over heard you talking with Brendon! He said you shouldn't tell me something and I wanted to know what! Now, Ryan, please!" I beg.

"That?" He sits up. I whine at the loss of contact. "Uh... I kind of accidentally kissed Johanna. I really thought it was you. Seriousy, are you sure that's your cousin? She could pass for your twin."

I sigh. I'm not happy that Ryan's lips have touched her's but I know Ryan would never do that to me. I'm actually relieved it wasn't more serious. "Okay, see? If you would've told me earlier, I wouldn't have kicked you out of our room."

"Are you mad?" Ryan tilts his head.

I climb onto Ryan's lap. "No, but now that it's out of the way, you have some business to take care of..." I giggle. I lean in to press my lips to his, but he pulls away.

"We better get ready for work." He smirks. He stands up and walks into the bedroom.

"But... But.." I'm left sitting in the hallway. I scramble up and charge after him. "Wait a minute!"

Ryan stops and turns around. His eyes grow wide when he sees me running at him. Before he can say anything, I tackle him to the bed. "You started this!" I growl. "I'm demanding you fuck me right now!"

Ryan looks shocked. "I don't....I... Fuck it, I'm not going to say no to that." He flips me over. He towers over me as he kisses me passionately. His hands ravage my body as I slide his boxers off. "We're going to be late for work. I hope you're okay with that." He reminds me.

"I don't care," I wrap my hand around his throbbing cock. "I just need you now." I bat my eyelashes.

"Damn..." He hisses as I pump him. "As cute as you look, you need to be wearing less clothing." He pants as he removes my shirt and slides down my panties. "Much better." He reconnects our lips. I move my hands to his chest. Without breaking our kiss, Ryan rolls on a condom and eases himself in. "How do you want it today?" He purrs.

"I kinda want it... a little rougher today." I blush as I answer him.

Ryan raises an eyebrow. "Really? I wouldn't expect that from you, but I'm definitely not complaining." Ryan says as his thrusts begin to pick up speed.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"We are so late," I complain as we pull into the parking lot. "Geoff is going to murder us. Three hours late!"

Ryan chuckles. "Three amazing and mind-blowing hours. And I did warn you we would be late."

"I didn't know it was going to be this late!"

"You're the one who wanted to go again! "Ryan, don't stop! I want to come again!"," Ryan imitates me. "How the fuck am I suppose to say no to that?!" Ryan holds my chin as he leans in for a kiss.

I pull away. "Let's not be any later than we already are."

We walk into the building and clock in. "Maybe Geoff won't notice." Ryan whispers.

"Ahem!" We spin around and find Geoff standing in the doorway. "So I'm not going to ask. All I have to say is that we have work to get done."

Ryan leads me to his desk in the warehouse. 

"So Olivia wanted to come over tonight." I inform him.

Ryan chuckles. "Oh? She called ahead of time? That's a surprise."

"Yeah. She wanted to start preparing for the house party this weekend." I rush the last part.

"Oh, okay...." Ryan shrugs. Then he realizes. "Wait a minute? This weekend?!"

I grin. "We already started inviting people. It was the weekend that worked best for most people."

"I suppose we don't have too much to do." Ryan sighs. "I should send you in the hole for not telling me."

"I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later?" I wrap my arms around his neck.

Ryan smirks. "Yeah. You will. I will hold that to you."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I get a text from Brendon as soon as Ryan and I return home.

_Brendon: So we still need to have that talk._

Instead of texting, I head outside to the backyard and call. Brendon answers.

"Okay, so talk." I say.

"Well..." He sighs. "Can this be in person?"

"No. Talk." I snap. I'm done trying to wait.

"Okay, well... You and Ryan are really serious, aren't you?"

What a dumb question.... "Yeah. Why?" He better not try anything.

"Then I guess this is closure for me." Brendon clears his throat.

Wait.... What? "Closure?"

"Yeah..." Brendon pauses. "I've been thinking. I moved to Austin to try and get you back. But I was too late. I've been living here, bitterly, thinking about what could have been if only I didn't screw up." Brendon takes a deep breath. "I messed us up. I know I did. I never deserved a second chance, and I was crazy to think that you would give that to me. I'm in love with you, Riley. But I respect that Ryan makes you happy. And I won't attempt to pursue you anymore."

"I... appreciate that..." I feel my eyes begin to water.

"I'm going to try and move on. So,until I can learn to get over you, I'm going to keep my distance. But just know if you even need me, I'll be there."

"Is that all...?" I manage to keep my voice steady.

Brendon pauses. "Yeah... I guess that's it."

"I wish you the best.... And if you ever need to talk, you can call me." I offer. This seems.... so final... Brendon was a huge part of my life.

Am I really ready to say goodbye to him?

We hang up and I head back into the house. Ryan is waiting in the living room. "You're crying." He states. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head. Ryan, knowing me so well, opens his arms to me. I collapse into his embrace. At least I still have Ryan.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay!" Olivia smiles. "Most of your guests have confirmed whether or not they are coming. Now we discuss food!"

It's times like this I'm glad I have Olivia. When it comes to parties, she's the most organized.

While Ryan and Olivia discuss party details, I catch myself glancing at my phone. What am I waiting for exactly?

"Riley?" Ryan says. "Are you okay? You've barely said a word."

"I'm okay," I lie. "I'm just really tired."

Ryan smirks. "Well, we did have a busy morning."

Olivia scrunches her face. "Eww. I don't need to hear this!" Olivia shakes her head. "Oh! So, Riley, the weirdest thing happened! I was on my way here when Brendon called."

I feel myself perk up. Brendon? What about him?

"He said he couldn't make the party after all. I guess you didn't want him there anyway, right?"

"Right..." I lie.

"Such a shame. It would be nice if he could come." Olivia shrugs. She continues planning.

Yeah... It would be nice... Why is he avoiding me again? He said it was to get over me. But he was acting fine the last few times I saw him... Wait, when did this happen? When did I start caring about not seeing Brendon?


	28. Denial

We had to push the party back about two weeks. Gavin and his new girlfriend (that I haven't met yet) left for England so she could meet his family. I still need to talk to him about the new girlfriend. At Michael's wedding, he was convinced he was in love with Tabby.

Ryan rushes into the house with a small animal carrier in his arms "I want to show you something!" He sets the carrier on the living room floor, opens it and a small grey and white kitten dashes out, meowing.

"KITTY!!!!" I scoop up the little fluffy ball. "Why! Oh never mind! He's cute!" I coo, cuddling the little kitten in my arms.

"You seemed a little down lately. I thought he could cheer you up. What are you going to name-"

"Munchie!" I squeal the first name that comes to my mind.

"Munchie...?" Ryan repeats. "Why?"

I shrug. "He looks like a little Munchie to me," I say. "Thanks, Ryan!" Although, I don't know what he means about me feeling down.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But finally, our house was lively with people. Music plays in the background as my friends stand around, idly chatting among themselves as Olivia and Ryan finished making dinner. The fact the Olivia was actually cooking was frightening enough.

I kept glancing at the front door. I knew Brendon wasn't coming. He told Olivia. But why am I still hoping to see his face come through the door?

He's gone. So I should be happy.

No. I can't be happy. So I'm not in love with Brendon. I have Ryan. But I still can miss him as a friend. And now, I don't even have him as that.

I find myself dialing his number for the eighth time tonight. Same thing as usual, two rings, the straight to voice mail.

I hang up the phone. Munchie climbs into my lap, purring. Munchie has been getting all kinds of attention today. He's a little attention whore.

Right now, I want to go upstairs and lay down. I've been feeling like I had to throw up all day. So on top of losing a friend, I'm really sick.

"Riley," Ryan places his hand on my shoulder. "Food's ready."

"I'm not very hungry right now. I'll eat later." I'm not lying. I'm actually not hungry. I'm afraid if I eat something, I'll throw up.

Ryan gives me a concerned look. "Are you okay? You've been kinda distant lately."

Why does he keep saying things like that?! "No," I shake my head. "I haven't been distant."

"Yeah, you have. And I'm worried." Ryan insists.

"Well, don't be," I snap. Munchie jumps out of my lap. "I'm fine!"

"Fine. I was just trying to help." Ryan grumbles as he walks back into the kitchen.

Why am I getting so emotional? Just because I'm not feeling well, doesn't mean I should take it out on him. I sigh and go into the kitchen after Ryan. "Hey," I lean in the archway. "I'm sorry..."

Ryan sighs. "Don't be sorry. I'm just really worried because you've been a little moody lately."

I narrow my eyes. "Moody?!" I growl.

Ryan chuckles. "See what I mean? I'm just really worried. If something is bothering you, baby, you can tell me."

I feel myself melt when he calls me "baby". He needs to stop doing that to me.

I step closer to him and cuddle into his arms. "I know. It's nothing. I just-"

"Oh, how cute." Someone scoffs, interrupting us. I turn to find Madison standing in the archway. 

"Hello, Madison." I roll my eyes. I haven't seen her since I quit my old job. Yep, she's still annoying. The only reason she's here now is so she can see how well Ryan and I are doing. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"I was actually just leaving," She nods. "I can in to say that you have a really nice house and you're doing really well. And ..." She pauses. "I was wrong about you and Ryan. I'm actually really happy for you." She sighs. "Thank you for inviting me."

I can't hide the shocked expression on my face. "Uh, thanks.. And thanks for stopping by."

Madison waves and backs out of the kitchen.

Ryan raises an eyebrow. "What did she mean by that?"

I giggle. "She thought we weren't going to last."

Ryan smiles. "Let's keep proving them wrong." He leans in, connecting our lips.

I wrap my arms around his neck, getting lost in his kiss. I love him. I don't need anyone else. Not even Brendon.

"Oh, Riley!" Olivia calls from the living room. "Stop making out with your boo and entertain your guests!"

Ryan groans as I pull away. "Let's kick them out and go upstairs."

Laughing, I shake my head. "Don't be such a baby. This is a party for us. We're basically bragging about our home to our friends."

"I think I would rather fuck than brag about a house." Ryan smirks.

I roll my eyes. "I bet you would." I pull him towards the living room. "Come on."

Ryan groans as we head into the living room. I managed to ignore the sickening feeling in my stomach up until now. I think I might throw up soon.

"Ryan, why don't you entertain everyone," I say once we join the small group that was left of the party. "I'll be back." Ryan gives me a puzzled looks as I rush up the stairs. If I do throw up, I'd rather not let my guests hear it.

Olivia must have picked up that something was wrong because she follows me up the stairs. "Ri?" She follows me into the bathroom. "I'm here to hold your hair back!" She announces as she closes the door.

I collapse in front of the toilet. Olivia holds my hair back as I lurch forward, the contents of my stomach spewing from my mouth. It's not like I had much to eat today, so I don't know why so much is coming out. The taste of acid is left in my mouth.

"Hm. Sexy." Olivia chuckles.

"Shut up." I spit, hoping to get the lingering taste out of my mouth.

"Okay, I won't joke. I have a question for you." Olivia says.

"And, I have an answer... Right after this-" I lurch forward again, hurling out more. I feel much better now. "Okay, ask as I clean up." I spit out the rest and flush the toilet and make my way to the sink. I uncap my mouth wash and take a swig.

"So... I don't know how to ask this... But are you late?"

After gargling, I spit out the mouth wash. "Only a week. Why?"

Olivia raises an eyebrow. "Ri, your period is late, you're moody, and you're throwing up. So..."

I laugh. Is she trying to say I'm pregnant? "What? Do you really think that means anything?!"

"I'm not saying it's for sure but it would explain some things. I mean, it is a possibility."

I shake my head. "Nope. Ryan and I have been safe. There's no way I'm pregnant."

"Denial." Olivia crosses her arms and nods. "That's the first stage of pregnancy."

"No, you moron. Denial is the first stage of  _grief_." I laugh. I love Olivia, but sometimes, she truly is a blonde.

"Oh," She tilts her head in confusion. "Well, still! I really think you need to get it checked out!"

"I know my body. If there was a little person growing inside me, I would know." I insist. So what if I'm a week late? I'm sure it will come eventually. "Besides," I add. "It can't be morning sickness. It's not morning. I'm sure I just ate something bad for lunch."

Olivia sighs. "And you called me a moron. You realize morning sickness isn't just in the morning. You can get it any time."

"Well, It's just an off week. I'm fine, Olivia." I promise her.

Olivia gives me an unsure look. "Okay, but at least think about what I said. If your period doesn't come in about two weeks, go to a doctor."

We start heading back downstairs. "Livy, being a few weeks late doesn't automatically mean-"

"Late to what?" Ryan asks as we rejoin the group. The group has grown smaller. Only Tabby and Kara were left.

"Oh, nothing." I shake my head. "Everyone left without saying goodbye?"

"I stayed!" Tabby runs over to hug me.

"We wanted to make sure you were okay before we left." Kara stands.

"Thanks," I walk Kara and Tabby to the door. "I'm okay. And thank you all for coming by!"

"No!" Tabby shouts as she leaves the house. "Thank YOU! The house is beautiful!" She says as she hops into Kara's car.

Olivia slips out the door. "I better get home, too. Seriously, though, think about it." She says as she leaves.

I wave goodbye as the final two cars drive away. I close the door.  Even though I'm almost positive I'm not pregnant, what if I was?

Munchie rubs across my legs. I scoop him up. I can't be pregnant. I don't even know how we could afford that. Besides, I want to be married first before having kids and Ryan is no where near the marriage station with me. I'm pretty sure his idea of marriage is tainted because of Sara. What a bitch...

I walk upstairs and place Munchie in the bathroom, where we set up his food, water, and litter box. "Sorry, pal. It's only until you learn to use your litter box. Then you can sleep in the room with me and Ryan." I promise the little fur ball.

"Ha!" Ryan laughs. "Nope. He's not sleeping with us. I want you to myself." Ryan smirks.

I close the bathroom door and follow Ryan to our room. "Hey, you bought him. You should've known that he would become my little baby." I stick my tongue out at him.

"No," Ryan chuckles. "I'm not ready to be a dad yet." 

I freeze. "What's that suppose to mean?"

Ryan pauses. "Riley, it's just a cat. Calm down."

He's right. He's talking about the cat. No big deal.

"Are you sure you don't have anything you want to talk about?" Ryan asks, striping down to his boxers.

"Yeah, I'm sure." I stare at the ground.

Ryan places his hands on my hips. "Let's take another bath!" Ryan smiles. "You seem stressed. Plus, a bath will make you feel better. You were sick earlier, right?"

I nod. "Yeah, a bath sounds nice." 

Seriously, what's going on with me?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up before our alarm goes off and I rush to our master bathroom. I didn't eat anything last night, so all I could do is dry heave.

"Riley?" Ryan pokes his head in, still half asleep. "Are you okay?"

I must be getting paranoid. That's all. I'm not pregnant. I can't be. I really can't be! I'm too young for this!

"I think," I pause. "I think I need to go to the doctor's today."


	29. Unwanted

"Hmph! What's taking so long?" Olivia paces the waiting area as we wait for the doctor's results. "It's been two hours!"

"I'm not even sure if we get the results today." I shrug. "Maybe we should just go."

I made Ryan go to work. I insisted I had to flu. He seems to believe it. Every hour, I've gotten a text from him. I feel really uneasy about the situation. I'd rather not see the results. I don't want to know. I want to pretend this isn't happening. I'm only twenty two. I can't even handle the thought of being responsible for another human life.

"Ms. Thomas? You're still here?" Dr. Randy Gill pokes his head out of the office. "Well, would you like to come back into my office? We have the results."

Oh God, run out the door! My legs carry me into the office behind Dr. Gill. Olivia tags along. Dr. Gill closes the door behind us and we have a seat in front of his desk.

"So," He smiles. "Should I tell you or would you like to read it yourself?"

I sigh. "I guess just tell me."

"The results say that you are pregnant. You are about four weeks in."

"Eeeeee! Riley!" Olivia squeals. "I knew it! Congrats!"

I offer a weak smile. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

"I have some information to give you. if you have any questions, you can call this number-" Dr. Gill explains as he hands me a folder. I drown everything out. How am I suppose to tell Ryan?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I cuddle up on the couch with Munchie in my arms. I can't be a mom. I'm no where near ready for this.

Ryan comes through the front door. "Hey." He walks in with grocery bags.

"Hey.."

"How are you feeling?" He comes to the couch, setting the bags down.

"I'm still a little dizzy." I admit. Yeah, learning that you're pregnant kinda makes you not want to do anything. At least, for me, anyway.

"Well, I went to the store after work, and I got a bunch of stuff that helps with the flu," Ryan explains as he digs through the bags. "I got lots of water, some soup, some fruits, vegetables, and some ice cream."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "How is ice cream suppose to help?"

"For a sore throat. And if you don't have a sore throat, then it's just because it tastes good."

I shake my head, smiling. He's such a cutie.

"So I'm going to put all this away." Ryan stands, collecting the bags.

Munchie's ears perk up. He dashes toward the window.

"What's wrong with you, silly?" I follow him. Outside, a grey cat with amber eyes peek in from the window. "Ryan!" I squeak. "Kitty!"

"No!" Ryan shakes his head. "We already have a cat!"

"I'm going to give it some food. Poor little guy must be hungry." I shuffle into the kitchen, filling a bowl with Munchie's food.

"Riley, I said no. If you feed it, it will keep coming back!" Ryan crosses his arms. "Promise me you won't bring food out to him."

"I promise." I mumble.

"Good. Now I'll be back. I'm going to get Eric. Go upstairs and get some rest." Ryan kisses my forehead and heads out the door. Okay, I won't bring food outside.

**Ryan's Point of View:**

"Really, Daddy? You got a cat?" Eric asks with wide eyes.

"That's right," I smile as we pull into the driveway. " He's a kitten. His name is Munchie. You like cats, right Eric?"

"Right!" Eric hops out the car as soon as we park. "I wanna go meet him!" Eric speeds into the house.

"Don't make too much noise! Riley might be asleep!" I call after him. I lock the car and start heading inside. Something inside on the window sill catches my attention.

That damn grey cat.

He's staring at me. He's challenging me.

I walk into the house, staring the cat down.

"Kitty!" Eric scoops the cat up in his arms. "Is this Munchie? I thought you said he was a kitten?"

"Riley!" I shout up the stairs.

Riley makes her way to the foyer. "Hi, Eric!" She ruffles his hair.

"Riley, would you like to explain why that cat is in the house?

"Isn't he cute, Eric?"

"You're ignoring me." I cross my arms.

"So this isn't Munchie? Well, he's cute anyway." Eric cuddles the purring cat. Munchie makes his way downstairs and rubs against Eric's leg.

"Riley," I repeat. "Why is that cat in the house?"

"You said I couldn't bring the food outside. So I brought him in to eat. He and Munchie get along really well!" Riley pouts. She really wants this damn cat. How could I say no to her?

"Fine... But no more cats. If anything, we get a dog." I sigh. "Now, have you thought of a name?"

"Mr. Frumper!" She beams.

"..... Mr.... Mr. Frumper...?" Why the hell is she so strange? She looks so pleased with the name she's given this poor animal. I can't say no to her.

**Riley's Point of View:**

I rest on the couch, with my two cats. Mr. Frumper and Munchie cuddle around me as I try to get some sleep. I should probably eat. If I'm pregnant, aren't I suppose to be hungry all the time or something? I mean, if I was, I would be eating for two. Why don't I have much of an appetite?

 My thoughts are disturbed when Eric pokes my arm. "I'm sorry, Riley. But I have a question."

"What's up, Eric?" I respond.

"Why do you own booklets about pregnancy?" Eric asks, holding my folder I received from the doctor.

My eyes grow wide as I take them from Eric. "Where did you find these?"

"They were on the kitchen table. I wasn't trying to snoop. I was looking for paper to draw on." Eric looks at his feet.

"It's fine, Eric, I know you weren't snooping," I pet his head. "You can't tell Daddy about this, okay? I don't know how to tell him."

"So I'm going to be a big brother?" Eric looks up at me with hope in his eyes.

"Looks that way.." I smile weakly. Olivia and Eric seem happy. So why am I not feeling excited? I thought mothers are suppose to be super happy once they learn they're pregnant. I've been trying to get my mind off of it...

"When are you going to tell Daddy?"

"I don't know, Eric. I haven't thought about that.."

"Well," Eric says. "I think you should tell him soon. I think Dad will be happy."

Will he? Didn't he say he wasn't ready to be a father?

"Go play, Eric. There's some paper by the computer area. Look near the printer." I send him off.

Ryan comes down the stairs. Eric is already drawing. Ryan sits on the floor next to him. "What  are you up to?"

"Drawing," Eric hands Ryan some paper. "Draw with me."

"I can't draw. But I can try. Maybe I can make some stick figures..." Ryan lays on his stomach as he draws with Eric.

I study them. Every time Eric finishes drawing something, he would point and Ryan would ruffle his hair and say "That's cool! Good job, son!" He such a good father to Eric.

I should tell him soon. At least to get it over with. Maybe he'll know what to do. I walk outside to the porch, pull out my phone, and dial Olivia's number. "Livy," I sigh once she answers. "I need some ideas on how to tell Ryan..."

"Oooooohhh!" Olivia squeals. "This is going to be cute! Okay, why don't you make him a dinner with baby corn, baby carrots-"

I cut her off. "I'm pretty sure they did that on Full House." I chuckle.

"Oh, that's why it seemed so familiar! Okay, then you should buy a crib and ask him to assemble it. Then he'll ask why you bought it and you can tell him!"

"That's not a good way.." I shake my head.

"Well," She hesitates. "I have one more idea...."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sit in the car, with the box in my lap. I take a deep breath before stepping out, and entering the house.

"Back already?" Ryan greets me as I walk through the door."What's in the box?" He asks.

I hand him the box. "It's for you." I gulp.

Ryan tilts his head as he takes the box. He walks into the living room and sits on the couch. I follow him, watching for his reaction.

"Thanks, but what's this for? Did I forget an anniversary? No, that's not it. It's not my birthday, soo..." He rambles as he opens the box. He squints his eyes. ".... A shirt?" He asks as he removes the shirt in the box. "...Thank you?"

I take a deep breath. "Turn it around. You're looking at the back."

Ryan flips the shirt over and reads the front. "World's Greatest Dad. Well, I have to say, this is a bit random. Why did you get me a-" He freezes, still studying the shirt. He whips his head around to look at me with wide eyes. 

I simply nod.

Silence follows, making me nervous. What is he thinking? "I...." I pause. "I hope you're not angry with me... I.... I just need to know how you feel about this... If you want to we can-"

Still with blank face, Ryan sets down the shirt. "You're... Pregnant?" He approaches me.

I nod. "I just want to know-" I'm cut off by Ryan drawing me in for a kiss. I feel his lips curl into a smile so big, he could barely continue to kiss me.

"You're pregnant," He laughs breathlessly. "You're pregnant! Oh, that's amazing!" He grins. 

"You... you're okay with this?"

"Of course! Oh, man, we need to tell everyone!" Ryan rushes to the kitchen. "YES!" Ryan shouts from the kitchen. Ryan pokes his head out. "Come on! We need to call people!"

I feel a smile spread across my face. I"ve never seen Ryan this excited about anything. Although, I still don't understand why I'm not happy about this. I want to be, but for some reason, I can't be as excited as everyone else. 


	30. Unfavorable Plans

"Good morning, little one." I wake up to Ryan planting kisses on my stomach.

 "Ryan, what are you doing?" I rub my eyes. I'm still in the process what's going on as I wake up.

"I'm saying good morning to our little boy or girl." Ryan smiles.

Stop it. Stop being cute! "I'm not sure if it can hear yet."

"Oh, I've done some reading last night," Ryan leans to the side of the bed and pulls out a book. "And it says that around 16 weeks, the baby's hearing develops. "

"Interesting," I take the book, inspecting the cover. "Baby and You?" I raise an eye brow. "I guess I should start reading baby books, too. May I borrow it after your done?" I feel sick the longer I look at the book. In six months, I'm going to be a mother. And I still don't want that... There has to be another way....

"Go ahead. I finished it." Ryan caresses my stomach.

"You did? When did you start it?"

Ryan hesitates before answering. ".... Last night...."

"Ryan! You did not stay up all night, reading this book!"

"It's fine!" Ryan insists. "I couldn't sleep. I'm not tired at all! Now, start getting ready. We have that live stream today."

"You need sleep." I insist. Today, Rooster Teeth is having a 24- hour live stream. "You're going to kill yourself over this baby."

"Nah," Ryan waves me off. "I'm fine."

To hide the small baby bump, I steal Ryan's black hoodie.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Are you okay?" I ask as we sit on the set of the live stream. The stream is over 12 hours, and Ryan is seeming out of it.

"Hm? I'm fine." Ryan shrugs. 

"You know, you can't keep staying up. You need plenty of rest before the baby comes." I whisper.

 "Hey, what are you two whispering about over there?" Jack asks. Jack, Michael, and Chris Demarais are live streaming a game while Barbara and Lindsay sit on the couch, answering questions. Ryan and I sat on the floor.

"It's a secret." Ryan responds as he pulls me into his lap. "Let me just... close my eyes for a second." Ryan mumbles as he rest his head on my back.

I sigh. I knew he was going to be tired. He never listens to me.

"A secret?" Michael repeats. "Well, we gotta know now!"

"I don't know about that..." I hesitate.

Luckily, Tabby comes into the room.

"Tabby!" Lindsay motions her to walk on camera. "Everyone, Tabby is here!"

Tabby makes her way on set. "Hello!" She wave to the cameras.

She sits in between Barbara and Lindsay on the couch.

"How are things going so far?" She ask.

"So far, we raised about $8,000." Michael answers, not taking his eyes on the screen. "Hey, we should have Riley make the secret announcement once we reach $10,000." He suggests.

I shake my head. "This isn't something I want to make public." If I decide to... go through with my plan, I don't want people to know about the baby.

"Why not?" Ryan asks, picking his head up.

Damn it, Ryan. Go back to sleep. "I just don't."

"Well, I do." He argues.

Why is he arguing with me in front of everyone? "We'll see. Let's hit $10,000 and maybe we'll announce it."

Ryan smiles. That sneaky bastard.

"X-RAY AND VAV!" A voice shouts off stage. Ray and Gavin (I mean, X-Ray and Vav) run on set.

"We decided to make another appearance for the kids!" Gavin puffs out his chest. 

Ray playfully pushes Gavin aside. 

"X-Ray, Vav, thanks for coming." Jack says, not looking away from his Trials Fusion game.

"Kat, come on camera! I want everyone to see you!" Gavin motions for her to come on screen.

Kat? Is this possibly Gavin's new girlfriend?

A woman with brown hair and green eyes drags herself on stage. "This is so embarrassing. Why are you wearing that? Gavin, couldn't you just wear jeans and a t-shirt?" She asks through gritted teeth.

Wow, what a bitch. If Ryan wanted to come dressed as a super hero, I wouldn't bitch at him. Actually, I might end up being distracted....

"I'm.. I'm Vav! I don't know anyone named Gavin!" Gavin places his hands on his hips, smiling.

"No, stop. You're Gavin." She rolls her eyes. "You're 26 years old. You shouldn't be acting like a five year old."

Seriously, who let this bitch in? I don't even know her and I already want to punch her.

"Actually," Tabby clears her throat. "He's Vav. And I think he's fine the way he is." She smirks.

That's right. You tell her, Tabby! Don't let her get away with any of her shit!

Barbara smiles " I agree, Tabby. Vav is awesome."

"Okay, I guess..." The woman shrinks back. Good, that showed her.

"I know how amazing Gavin is," She continues. "We are getting married after all-"

"Kat!" Gavin cuts her off.

I'm sorry. WHAT?!

"What? I thought you told every one." She shrugs.

"Not.... Not quite..." Gavin answers, looking at Tabby.

I look over. Tabby looks so... hurt.

"I'm going to get some water." She stands to leave the room. Gavin walks after her.

"Gavin's getting married?" Ryan yawns. "This isn't good."

"Yeah, I know." I mumble. "What about Tabby? God, it's so obvious that they like each other. They should just date already!"

"So, Katrina, " Barbara crosses her arms. "When is the wedding?"

"Gavin hasn't set a date yet." She answers.

I don't bother to introduce myself. I don't want to get to know her. I think Gavin would be much happier with Tabby. I just don't understand. Gavin told me he was in love with Tabby. So what changed?

"Hey Riley," Lindsay grins. "We reached $10,000."

Ryan perks up again. "I'll tell 'em!"

"I got it." I insist. "Ryan and I are...." The word pregnant gets stuck in my throat. The feelings are coming back. I'm pregnant. At twenty two. I'm too young for this. There's no way I'm going to be a good mother to this child. 

"Darling?" Ryan places his head on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Ryan and Olivia seem to be the only ones excited. I can't have this baby. I don't even want to think about what it's going to do to my body. Hell, I'm already starting to get a bump.

"I'm pregnant." I fake smile.

"What?!" Lindsay screeches.

"That's so great!" Jack tears his eyes away from his Trials Fusion game. 

"I wanna rub your belly!" Barbara jumps up. "Can I?!"

"Go ahead." I stand. "It hasn't started kicking yet."

Ryan huffs, keeping his eyes set on the floor. What's his problem?

Everyone is so excited. But I'm still not. Does no one care at all how I feel about this? How can everyone be so selfish?!

"Oh! I'm so happy for you!" Lindsay sighs.

Gavin storms back into the room. "So guess what?! I decided a date on the wedding!"

Great, everyone get this attention off of me...

"It's in two weeks." Gavin continues.

Wait, what the fuck is this man doing?! I'm worried about Tabby now...

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I drive me and Ryan home. I know how tired he is. I don't want him falling asleep at the wheel. Ryan hasn't said a word to me after we made our public announcement.

We make our way into our house. Ryan storms ahead. "I'm going to go clear out the baby's room."

"Wait, do you have something you need to say? You seem pissed off." I shout up the steps.

Ryan pauses and turns to me. "Yeah, unlike you, I will actually say what's on my mind. It kind of irritates me that you keep referring our child as an "it"."

I scoff. "What are you talking about?! It's not my fault. We don't know the gender yet."

"Yeah, but you can still call them our kid or something. It's like you don't even care about our baby!"

"Listen," I growl. "I didn't ASK to get pregnant by you! There are still things I want to do in my life! I'm not ready to be a mom!"

Ryan's face drops. "What are you saying? You don't want our baby?"

I fix my eyes to the floor. I can't look at him with that look on his face. "I... I'm just saying... Maybe... We aren't ready..."

"... You... you don't mean an abortion, right...?" Ryan's voice cracks.

"This just doesn't feel right, Ryan... I've been thinking for a while-"

"You've been thinking about it and you haven't talked to me about it?!" Ryan cuts me off. 

"It's not your body, Ryan!" I shout, looking him in the eyes. I stop yelling once I see Ryan is on the verge of tears.

"You can't.." Ryan tries to keep his composure.

"You shouldn't have gotten so attached..." I reach my hand out to him. 

He smacks my hand away. "Don't touch me. I can't even be around you right now." Ryan rushes upstairs.

"Ryan," I chase after him, tears starting to form around my eyes. "You're being immature. We need to talk about this!"

Ryan emerges from the bedroom with a pillow and blanket. "I'll be on the couch tonight." He pushes past me.

"Why? You're the angry one. The angry one gets the room. Isn't that how it works?" 

"While you're carrying my child, I need my baby to be a comfortable as possible. Even if the carrier is being a total bitch right now." Ryan snarls.

I stand in the hallway, stunned. Ryan just called me a bitch. "Wait a minute!" I chase after him. Ryan is already settled on the couch, reading another baby book. Why is he still reading? He's only hurting himself more. "You can't say that to me!"

Ryan lays down, turning his back to me. "I'm trying to sleep. Go away."

I sigh and retreat back to our room.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I toss and turn for hours. It's hard sleeping here without Ryan. How did I do this before? And how could he be so upset with me? It's not his decision. It's all his fault that he attached to the idea of being a father so quickly.

But the look on his face... I don't think I've seen him that hurt since the day we almost broke up.

I feel a pressure in my stomach pushing outward. Was the baby.... kicking? Is this what it feels like? I begin to tear up and my heart feels lighter. There is a little person in me. And I don't want to harm them now.

I jump out of bed and rush down the steps. Ryan is still up, reading. "Ryan!" I call as I'm rushing to him.

His cheeks are wet, as if he's been crying for hours. "What? I don't want to talk about this right-"

I silence him by forcing his hand on my stomach. Instantly intrigued, Ryan places both hands on my stomach. "Are you moving around now?" He coos. "Hello there." 

"The baby wants you to come back upstairs and cuddle us." I kiss his forehead.

Ryan smiles, drying his eyes. He lifts me up, carrying me upstairs. "Sooo... Are you still considering....?"

I shake my head. "That... That was really selfish of me.... I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Ryan sets me down on our bed. "I'm just glad you're not going to go through with it." Ryan presses his lips to mine, tracing his fingers across my stomach.

Six more months to go. And... I'm finally excited for it.


	31. The Wedding (Yes, Another One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley and Ryan attend Gavin's wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is essentially a filler chapter.

We all came into work, and Gavin's desk was empty.

"He... He came earlier this morning to clear everything out..." Geoff announced as we all gathered around his desk. "He didn't want to say goodbye. It must have been too hard for him."

We couldn't believe it.

"So... What now?" Jack asks, his eyes fixed on the empty desk.

"I suppose... We continue on..." Ryan answers.

Geoff hands me a controller. "Maybe Riley can fill in for Gavin?"

I shake my head. "Thank you for the offer. Geoff. But it wouldn't feel right. I couldn't attempt to replace him."

"Yeah... It was just an idea..." Geoff agrees.

I could see the wheels turning in Tabby's mind. She doesn't want this to be true. How could Gavin leave without saying goodbye? "Anyone knows where he lives now?" Tabby asks, pulling out her phone.

Geoff shakes his head. "I didn't get an address."

"Damn it," She mumbles. "Can anyone try calling him? He won't answer me."

"Tabby, maybe we should leave him alone..." Ray says quietly.

"Damn!" She growls. I guess it went to voice mail again.

"Tabby," Geoff places a hand on her shoulder. "Let's just get through the day. Let's give him so space-"

"What's wrong with you people?" Tabby snaps. "You want him to stay, right? When I wasn't trying, people were telling me to make him stay. And now that I'm trying, you're telling me to leave him alone?! No!" She pushes Geoff's hand away. "Some one needs to find him and talk some sense into him!"

"Tabby-" I try to calm her down. She's taking this really hard.

"No! I'm sorry, I have to go." She pushes her way out the door. Everyone is calling her back. She doesn't turn around.

"I'll go get her," Michael sighs. "I'll give her a couple of minutes to cool down, then I'll drive after her."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The atmosphere is gloomy. I sit in while they record a GO!, but everyone is just so drained.

"Leeeeet's stop.... Fucking pretending. Guys, this isn't working." Ray sighs.

Everyone sighs and stops recording.

"Yeah, this isn't." Geoff admits. "I think Achievement Hunter needs to go on a slight break."

"Geoff, we don't have to do that." Tabby begins to argue.

"No one can even fake having fun right now. I think a break would be beneficial." Jack agrees. 

"It's only until we all get used to the idea of Gavin not being here." Geoff pinches the bridge of his nose.

The room is silent. "So... What now?" Ryan asks quietly.

"I'm going to send out a message to our fans. Hopefully, they will understand. I don't even think we can start recording until after Gavin's wedding. So think of this as a vacation. The Monday after Gavin's wedding, we can all come in. And try again."

"Geoff, I have a kid on the way. We can't just take a break." Ryan pleads.

"Did I miss something?!" Tabby shouts.

Oh, that's right! Tabby left the room when we announced the baby! "Yeah," I nod. "When you and Gavin left the room, Ryan and I made the announcement. I'm pregnant."

"That's great!" She cheers. 

"So, Geoff, please. Achievement Hunter can't just go on a break." Ryan continues.

"What are we going to do, Ryan? If we record the way we are now, the videos won't be any good. This is our only option." Geoff explains.

"No." Tabby speaks up. Everyone in the room looks up at me.

"What?" Lindsay asks.

"No." She repeats. "Just because that little shit quit on us, doesn't mean we have to stop. I don't know about you all, but my fans are expecting a video of me getting the crap scared out of me. And, damn it, they will see that every week, as planned." She starts setting up for our show, Tabby Terrors. "Riley," She turns to me. "Are you with me?"

She's determined. I'm here to support her! She's a woman on a mission! "I'll never turn down the opportunity to scare you!" I nod.

"I'll help," Ryan starts helping us set up. "Maybe I can be a guest on the show or something."

"I guess I can't just stop making Rage Quits. Maybe it will help get some anger out." Michael thinks out loud.

Geoff looks at us. "Do we want to give this another go?" We all nod in agreement. "Alright, bitches. Let's get to work!"

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I don't want to be at this silly wedding." I grumble as we find our seats. 

"It's for Gavin. Whether we like the girl or not, we have to support him." Ryan reminds me. "The wedding will start soon. Just hang in there."

"I'd rather it not. I hope Tabby is okay." I sigh. Where is she anyway? I spot her making her way to her seat. She looks crushed. "Poor girl." I mumble.

The wedding march begins. Oh, I feel so bad for Tabby.

The wedding party steps out, the bride not to far behind them. I look on stage. Gavin smile.

"That's not real." I whisper. "You can tell when a man is genuinely happy. Gavin is faking. Tabby should be the one up there."

"I know, baby. But it's not our place to say anything." Ryan replies.

Once everyone is in their place, Tabby rushes out of the room. "Tabby.." I start to stand.

Ryan gently places his hand on my shoulder. "There's nothing we can say to her right now..."

"You're right...." I sit back down. He is right. What can I say to her? I don't blame her for being upset. If I had to sit through Ryan marrying someone else... I wouldn't be able to do it.

"Dearly beloved," The preacher began. "We are here today to join Gavin Free and Katrina Carr."

"Their names don't even sound good together." I grumble.

"Baby, hush. I know" Ryan pats my hand.

The preacher continues to drone on. Can we get this over with? I want to leave.

"Is there anyone here who thinks these two shouldn't join together in holy matrimony?"

I could see it on all their faces. Rooster Teeth and Achievement Hunter. I'm not the only one who wanted to raise their hand. Before any of us could do anything, Gavin spoke up.

"I....I..." He choked. "I'm sorry... I- I just... I can't!" Gavin turns and dashes down the aisle. "Tabby!" He shouts. As he runs past, I see tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Yes!" I whisper in celebration. 

Gavin's (former) bride stands up front, in shock before storming off.

Ryan and I exchange glances. I can't help but smile. "Do you think Tabby and Gavin are finally going to date?"

"Let's hope so. It's all up to them now." Ryan says.

Yeah, seriously. Let's hope.


	32. And Then I Met You

Ryan stumbles into the house, dragging another large box. "Another present from your mother." He grunts as he tries to drag the box in.

I was very hesitant about telling my mom about the baby. I remember how cold she was towards Ryan. But she took is surprisingly well. She cried. (From happiness, I swear!)

"Is it for the baby or my Birthday gift?" I ask, cutting open the top.

"Guessing from how large the box is, it might be both." Ryan chuckles.

"Nope! It's for the baby! It's a crib!" I announce. "And it's another wooden piece of furniture." 

Ryan sighs. "I know Sylvia is trying to be gender neutral, but if she keeps sending us wooden furniture, the baby's room is going to look like a lumberjack's! Can we please just find out the gender at the appointment tomorrow? It will be a great Birthday present to yourself!" Ryan begs.

"No," I cross my arms. "I want to be surprised."

"Then can I know?!" Ryan whines.

"No. You have to be surprised with me." I insist. This is so out of Ryan's character. Ever since he found out about the baby, he's been super protective and clingy. I absolutely love it. All his actions make me smile. And I know he does it all for me and our baby.

"But baby," He pouts. "We have to start picking names, painting the room-"

"Okay, I'll consider it." I give in. Can't wait until tomorrow.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come on!" Ryan is bouncing ahead of me and Olivia to the room. I'm very nervous yet excited for the ultrasound. The baby has been kicking nonstop since I arrived at the hospital.

"Ryan." I call. He turns to me, like a puppy being called back to his master. "The baby is kicking."

"Oh!" Ryan rushes back to me. He kneels down. "Hi," He smiles, placing his hands on my stomach. "Look at you!" he coos. "You're making Mommy look so fat!" He teases.

"Hey, asshole. Watch it." I warn him, trying to keep a straight face. "I'm not fat. I'm carrying a tiny person in my belly. That's totally different."

"Uh oh, Mommy is mad at me."

I drag Ryan by his ear into the private room. Olivia walks behind us, laughing. "You guys are so cute!"

"Hello!" The nurse greets us and I lay on a table as she preps the machines. "Are we excited to see the baby?"

"It will be even better when we can meet them."

James Ryan Haywood, how many times do I have to yell at you in my mind? Stop being a cute dad!!

"Well, only three and a half more months, Mr. and Mrs. Haywood." The nurse smiles.

I blush at being called Mrs. Haywood. Honestly, that's all I want. I don't need a huge ceremony. It can be just me and him. That's all I want.

"So, Riley," Olivia asks as the nurse squirts the ultrasound gel on my stomach. "Are you and Ryan going anywhere special today for your Birthday?"

"No, not really." I shrug. "We decided we would just stay home."

"Riley has been stressing out a lot." Ryan explains before Olivia can kill him. "It's not her fault. She's been doing everything she can to keep calm and healthy for the baby. She's doing very well today. I'm proud of her." He rubs my hand.

Good answer.

"There's your baby!" The nurse celebrates. 

On screen is the ultrasound picture of my baby. Our baby. I look over to Ryan. His eyes are glistening. His hand covers over his smile.

"Ryan." I say softly.

"Hm?" His eyes shift to me. 

"Are you okay?" I giggle.

"I'm... I'm happy. That's our kid." He smiles, his eyes collecting tears.

The nurse takes a few more pictures (Or scans, Or ultrasounds. Whatever you call it.) 

Dad, Isaac. I really wish you could be here to see this...

"I'm going to the computer and get these prints for you. Would you like to know the sex of your baby?" The nurse starts cleaning up the gel.

"Yes!" Olivia and Ryan shout.

"No." I say, teasing them.

"What?! Come on!"

"You said you would consider!"

I laugh as they protest. "Okay, okay! Of course, we would like to know."

The nurse nods. "I'll be back with the results and pictures shortly." The nurse leaves the room.

"Were you crying earlier?" Olivia asks Ryan.

"You. Shut up."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"A baby girl!" Ryan runs around the house. "She's going to be a daddy's girl! I know it!" Ryan cheers.

Munchie and Mr. Frumper peek at us from the top of the steps, wondering why grumpy Ryan is in such a good mood.

"We have to go and celebrate now! It can be a Birthday dinner and a baby celebration!" Ryan pleads.

"I'm sorry, Ryan," I shake my head. "I know you're excited, but I really just want to stay home."

"No problem! I'll make dinner! You! Come here!" Ryan guides me to the couch. "Relax. I'll make your favorite."

I begin to perk up. "Lasagna?"

"With a good amount of cheese and a salad on the side. Just the way you like it." Ryan kisses my forehead before rushing to the kitchen.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We sit in the living room as we eat. I'm laying down, using Ryan as my foot rest. "How about Layne?" Ryan asks.

I think for a moment. "That's pretty. Add it to the list." 

Ryan does so.

"I really like the name Nicole." I insist.

"I like it, too. But that's my cousins name and she's going to get all big headed and just... Bah." Ryan waves his hand. "Maybe not for the first name. That can be the middle name or something."

"Fine," I grumble. "Ashley?"

Ryan scoffs. "Ashley is okay, but it's so common! I want my daughter to have a special name. Something with meaning." Ryan pauses to have a bite of lasagna. "How about Riley. I really like that name. It's beautiful."

"She can't have my name," I smirk. "I don't want her to go the rest of her life as Riley Jr."

"Oh, that's you're name? Riley? Oh I had no idea." He says sarcastically. "This whole time we were dating and I thought your name was Edgar. I was wondering how you got out of the hole."

"Oh really?" I smile. "Are you calling me a heifer then? Okay. Remember this? "Riley? That's a man's name!" You were such a jerk!" I giggle.

"I did NOT say that!" Ryan laughs. He sets aside his empty plate. "I said it was different! That's all!"

"Yeah, whatever. It's my Birthday. I demand a foot massage." I stick my foot in his face.

"Yes, My Queen." He replies, laughing. He begins to rub his thumbs in the arch of my foot. "I'm glad I made fun of your name, though."

"Why's that?" I ask, feeling more relaxed.

"I don't think we would be sitting here now if I didn't."

"That's not true. I was always had a huge crush on you. All you had to do was be nice to me, and you could've fucked me in a storage closet that day."

"Well, see? If I was nice, you would've just been a whore. Because I was pushy, you made me work for our relationship. Totally worth it." Ryan smirks.

"Shut up."

"But seriously, I was really lonely," Ryan admits. "I spent most of my days bitter and angry. I tried to breeze through life. Honestly, I just waiting for it to end...."

My eyes dart up to meet his. Was Ryan... depressed?

"You came into my life at a perfect time. If I didn't meet you, I would still be miserable. I remember the moment I first saw you. For the first time since Sara left me, I felt hope. I didn't care about being alone. And then I met you. You made me realize how lonely I was. I owe so much to you. I don't care about all the shit we go through. It's all worth it. I love you, Riley." Ryan moves my feet off his lap. He crawls, hovering over me. He presses his lips to mine. I close my eyes as I run my fingers through his hair. I feel tears begin to form. Damn it, don't be emotional now.

He pulls back. "I know we're going to be great parents. Because no matter what, we never give up. We're going to be there to support her and never give up on her." Ryan runs his fingers across my stomach. "You hear that? Mommy and Daddy will always be here to protect you."

I sit up, wiping away some tears. "Damn hormones." I sniffle.

"Am I making you emotional?" Ryan teases. 

"Shut up!" I change the subject. "We need to pick a name. It's your turn since you don't like Ashley."

"Lyn?"

"Lyn..." I pause. That's pretty. 

"Wait...Ash....lyn? Ashlynn! How do you feel about that?"

"I actually like it!" I agree. "Ashlynn Nicole Haywood?"

Ryan smiles. "Ashlynn Nicole Haywood."

Hang in there, Ashlynn. Only four more months.


	33. The Promise

Time can be your enemy. I just want it to stop moving forward. Ryan and I have been getting along. No fights, no drama. The only thing keeping me moving forward is Ashlynn.

Ashlynn has been so restless lately. Right when I'm getting ready for bed, she'll kick really hard. I'll end up tossing and turning due to the discomfort. On those difficult nights, no matter how tired he is, Ryan would cuddle me close and rub my stomach. That really calms her down. I guess she really is a Daddy's girl.

"So, are you going to get any bigger?" Olivia teases.

"Shut up, you bitch." I laugh.

"But seriously, when are you suppose to be due? Little Ashlynn looks like she's ready to pop out soon."

"What a lovely thought," I roll my eyes. "The doctor said sometime in April."

"Ri, it is April." Olivia raises her eyebrows.

"Exactly." I sip my water. "You know, on the 12th, it's going to be me and Ryan's one year anniversary."

"Wow, where did the time go, right?" Olivia rests her head on her hand. "Don't you think it's amazing? You and Ryan have been together for only a year, and you're already having a child? You two went through more than a married couple would probably deal with. Any talk on marriage yet?"

"No," I sigh. "I don't want to bring it up. I don't want to seem like a clingy girlfriend. If Ryan wanted to get married, he would've asked by now..."

"Don't say that! He's crazy about you!" She insists.

"I know he is," I swirl my water around in my cup. "But I know how messed up he was after Sara. And I know he probably doens't want to go through that again."

"Hm," Olivia crosses her arms. "That's no excuse. Anyway, what else is new? How is work going?"

"Well, because it's getting close to my due date, I got maternity leave. Besides, right now they're moving to a bigger building space. I wouldn't be much help in the moving process."

"I see. So that's good! You got more space! So, when does Ryan get home?"

"Soon, actually-" A sudden pressure in my stomach causes me to lunge forward. I hiss at the pain.

Olivia furrows her eye brows. "Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine," I say, weakly. "It happens all the time. I just-Ah!" I place my hands on my stomach. The pain.... "Wow, Ashlynn sure is causing a fuss right now."

"Honey buns, I'm not sure that's Ashlynn just kicking!" Olivia jumps up. "Did Ryan prepare a bag? I have no idea what's supposed to be in it, but I've seen a lot of movies and the couple always leaves to the hospital with a bag!"

"It's in the coat closet but I'm fine! I'm not going into labor!" I argue. Suddenly, the front of my jeans are now soaked and I feel something trickle down my leg. I think... I think my water just broke. "....Okay.... Now I think I'm going into labor...."

Ryan walks into the door, smiling. "Hello! How was-" He pauses when he sees the mess. "Um..."

"No time for questions! Your woman is having your baby!" Olivia shouts, pushing Ryan back out the door. Olivia rushes over to me, helping me walk.

The pain is so unbearable. I can't believe it's happening already.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I lay in bed, groaning. I never thought contractions would hurt so much.

Ryan paces the room. "I'm nervous. I'm so nervous. Do I seem nervous to you? Do my hands feel sweaty to you?" Ryan grabs my hands.

"YOU'RE nervous? No. I couldn't tell at all!" I roll my eyes. "Why the fuck are you nervous? Are YOU about to give birth?! Is a living being about to pop out of your dick like an alien?! NO!" I growl.

"..... You're just being grouchy." Ryan replies, sulking.

"Um, Ryan, why don't you go see if you can get her some ice chips to chomp on. Maybe it will help?" Olivia orders. Ryan nods and leaves the room. "I know he's excited but I figured he wasn't doing much good for you." Olivia chuckles.

"I feel so bad!" I whine. "I hate being mean to him! But I can't help it! Look what he did to meeeeeeeee!" I begin to cry. Man, hormones are going crazy right now.

"Honey, don't cry!" Olivia is smiling. "It's not your fault! It's only natural to blame him. And he understands, too. Just try and focus on the beautiful little baby that you will be taking home in a few days." Olivia calms me by smoothing out my hair.

"You always know what to say..." I sigh. I'm starting to feel more relaxed. That is, until the contractions start acting up again.

"That's why I'm your best friend!" Olivia nods. "Now, the doctor will probably be in soon. Just breathe like they taught you in the class."

"Class?" I tilt my head.

"Dear lord, you didn't go to any classes?!" 

"I didn't know I had to!" I bow my head. "It's my first baby. How was I suppose to know!"

"Since it's your first, that's all the more reason to go! Well, I suppose it's too late now. But I guess you didn't have to go. I'll be here to coach Ryan to coach you." Olivia says proudly.

"I don't know if I can do this..."

"Sure you can! Baby Ashlynn will be out before you know it-"

"No," I shake my head. "I don't know if I can be a mom..."

The room is silent. I cringe as the contractions started getting more intense. Hold on, Ashlynn, I'm not quite ready to meet you yet..

"But," Olivia finally speaks. "Of course you can! You and Ryan are going to be great parents! Look how well the two of you do with Eric-"

"Eric," I cut her off again. "Is not ours. We didn't raise him. He kinda popped into our lives. And he's very mature for his age. He always looked after himself. This baby is different."

"You're right," Ryan comes back into the room. I wonder how long he was listening for. "Our baby is different. I love Eric like a son, but raising Ashlynn won't be the same as Eric coming over every other week. This isn't something we can get frustrated with and quit for a while. This has to be a full time job," Ryan sets the cup of ice on the table. He sits on the side of the bed, stroking my hair. "But I know we can do this. You're not going to raise her alone. We will have each other to support one another." Ryan notices me wince when the contractions start again, to calm me down, he brings my hand to his lips, and softly runs his hands across my stomach until they stop. "Ashlynn is our little girl. We're both going into this blindly, but I know we will make it through this. Hell, look at all the shit we went through this past year. I can do anything as long as I have you with me."

I gently tug on Ryan's shirt collar, pulling him down for a kiss. Sometimes I forget that I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I love him and I know I can get through anything as long as he's by my side.

Once again, the contractions start again. They are coming in closer and more intense. I'm guessing Olivia rushed out to find a doctor because suddenly, there are two nurses and a doctor.

Ryan pulls up a chair close to me as the doctor start setting my legs up. Ryan's fingers interlock with mine and he rests his head on the pillow close to me. "We got this, baby." He whispers encouragingly, brushing my hair back with his free hand. "I'll never know what pain you're going though, but you're not in this alone. I'm not leaving your side."

It seems like an eternity.... All the pain... the cutting.... the screaming.... the pushing... It seems as though it's never going to end. The only thing getting me through this is Olivia and Ryan, both on either side, holding my hands. 

To distract myself from the pain, I think about Isaac and my Dad. I go back in time, to when I was twelve. Isaac was still alive. I remember our family drives. We would drive around aimlessly, just for fun. Sometimes, we went to the drive-in. Sometimes, we just went to get ice cream. But it was always fun. I was just a child back then. Now, it seems as my childhood is officially about to end. People think the minute they turn 18 is the moment they become an adult. Right now, I think this is the true moment you leave your childhood behind.

 "It's almost over, baby. You're doing great." Ryan kisses my cheek. Now, I hear.... crying... As everything fades to black.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyelids feel heavy as I try to force them open. I see Ryan sitting by the window, holding a small bundle. "Do you know how long me and and your Mommy have waited to meet you?" He says softly to the small bundle.

I want to hold her. I want to see her. But I feel too weak to move or to speak.

Ashlynn lets out a quiet yawn. 

"Rest as much as you need. All my friends from work are coming soon. And I must warn you, they are loud." Ryan begins to... tear up? It amazes me that I get to see the Mad King at his most vulnerable state. "Don't look at Daddy right now," he chuckles softly. "Okay, because you're cute, you can look. But this will be the only time you see me cry." He brings her up and plants a kiss on her forehead. "God, I'm so lucky. Daddy loves you. You know that, right?"

I gather the strength to sit up. "How long was I out?" My voice is raspy.

Ryan looks in my direction and smiles. "Look who's awake, Ashlynn! Want to meet your Mommy?" Ryan stands and makes his way to me. "You were out for about an hour. Olivia went to get a drink of water for everyone."

"Oh, good." I scoot over as painless as I can so Ryan can lay next to me. Ryan fills in the empty spot on the bed. He places Ashlynn in my arms. I being to feel the tears form around my eyes. She's a beautiful, sleeping baby girl. Thin, straight brown hair, chubby cheeks, and a cute poke-able nose.

"She looks like you." I smile as Ryan wipes some of my tears away.

"Damn, that's a shame," he jokes. "She has to go her whole life looking like me? She pulls off the Haywood look well." He wraps his arm around me. "I saw her eye color. Wanna take a guess?" Ryan raises an eyebrow.

"Blue?" I ask. I really hope they're blue.

He shakes his head. "Green. She has your eyes."

'But she has your... everything else."

"Nah. She took after your gender, too." He teases.

"Shut up." I playfully hit his arm.

"Hey, let's make a promise," Ryan nuzzles my neck. "We will always be here for each other. You won't be raising her alone. I just need to know that you won't leave me."

"I would never leave you." I kiss his cheek. "You're stuck with me. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

"Promise? Then that means your not allowed to die. Ever." he smirks.

"Promise," I giggle. "Same goes for you."

There's a knock at the door. Tabby, Gavin, and Geoff stand at the door. "Feel like having some company?" Tabby smiles.

"Hey, guys." I sniffle. I need to stop crying, but I can't. I'm in a blissful state.

They all crowd in the room. "Looks like a squishy potato!" Gavin squawks.

Before Tabby can scold him, Gavin is being put in a headlock by Michael. "Idiot! You look like a potato! Leave the baby alone, asshole!"

Lindsay and Michael must have walked in behind the three of them. Behind them, Jack and Ray file in. "I brought booze! Let's celebrate! Just kidding." Ray smiles.

Olivia wanders in. "Oh, People!" She smiles.

"Ashlynn, look! It's Aunt Livy." Ryan smirks while talking to Ashlynn.

"Hey!" She growls. "I warned you about teaching her that name! Riley, make him stop!"

Everyone laughs. Ryan lays next to me, holding me and our new baby. Welcome to the world, Ashlynn Nicole Haywood. Getting you here was certainly a roller coaster. This is a messed up place. But, in the end, you have me and your dad to guide you.


	34. Letting Her Go

"Ashlynn, look! Look over here!" Ryan kneels in front of Ashlynn with our new camcorder. "Look at Daddy!"

Ashlynn ignores him, continuing to feed.

Ryan pouts. "She's already not obeying me."

"Ryan, she's getting fed! Do you mind not pointing the camera at me while I'm breast feeding? I don't want anyone to see this!" I turn my back to him.

"Well, I mean no one is going to see this. This can be for me later...." He mumbles.

"What the fuck? You really are a creepy mother fucker." I shake my head. 

"Don't swear around our baby. You're going to teach her bad habits." He smirks.

"So you said you had plans for our anniversary today?" I ask, ignoring his smart ass comment.

"Uh," Ryan scratches his head. "I had dinner reservations at that fancy restaurant. I had to reserve them four months in advance. But we can cancel."

Ashlynn finishes up and I place her gently in her crib. "Why? I can get Olivia to watch Ashlynn for two or three hours."

"Well," Ryan walks around me, picking Ashlynn back up. "Ashlynn might miss us..."

"Ryan, it's only for two hours. She doesn't even know who we are. She will be fine with Olivia. We don't have to let your reservations go to waste."

Ryan looks hesitant. "Uh, well..." Ashlynn yawns and starts falling asleep in his arms. "Oh, gee, look at that. The kid is asleep. It would be a shame if she woke up and we weren't here." Ryan starts walking downstairs.

I follow him. He turns on the Xbox 360 and settles on the couch with Ashlynn laying on his chest. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen. "You don't want to leave her, do you?" I smile.

"Huh? That's not it." Ryan insists.

"Yes, it is." I sit next to him, cuddling up close.

"Okay, it is." Ryan sighs. "How can I leave her alone? Look at her!" Ryan looks down at his chest. "I'm never going to set her down."

That's true. I think he holds her more than I do. As soon as he gets home from work, he practically takes her from me. Which is fine. Ryan is super excited to be a dad. I pick up the second controller and start playing. This is a perfect anniversary date.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"She's been so quiet today," Ryan comments as we place her in her crib for the night. "Aren't babies suppose to be obnoxious? She's pretty chill."

"You're going to jinx it," I warn him. "Now, let's go to bed. I'm exhausted." I yawn. Ryan and I drag ourselves into the room and get ready for bed. We turn up the baby monitor and crawl into bed.

"I kinda want to stay home tomorrow." Ryan yawns.

"I wish you could." I cuddle next to him. "Ashlynn is going to miss her Daddy."

"Maybe I can come home a little early?" Ryan asks, hopeful.

I shrug. "If Geoff let's you." I start drift off into Ryan's arms.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A piercing cry can be heard through the baby monitor. "Gahfragna..." I mumble, trying to formulate words. I rub my eyes, about to get out of bed. Gotta go check on Ashlynn.

Ryan groans and rolls out of bed. "Don't get up. I got her."

"But you have to get up in a few hours." I begin to argue.

"It's fine. I don't mind. Go back to sleep." Ryan insists.

Usually, I would continue to argue, but the bed is so warm. I feel so relaxed, I can't even move.

Ryan comes back in the room a few minutes later. "What was wrong?"

"She was scared. I turned her nightlight on for her and held her for a bit. She went right back to sleep." Ryan explains as he comes back to bed. I take my rightful place under his arm. I can never get over the fact that Ryan is a cute Dad. He looks so cute and happy every time he holds Ashlynn.

I lay in bed, trying to get back to sleep. Ashlynn begins to cry again. Ryan rolls out of bed again. I follow behind him. This is going to be a long night.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm off to work," Ryan smiles. Dark rings are visible under his eyes. Ryan and I didn't get to sleep much. He looks like he could pass out any second now.

"Maybe you should stay home," I insist. What if he falls asleep while driving? I have to keep him safe. "You can take a nap, then play video games with Ashlynn sleeping on your chest."

"No!" Ryan panics. He clears his throat. "I mean, I have to go to work. I need to make money for the family."

"Ryan, we're fine. It's not like we're struggling right now or something."

"Trust me, please?" 

I sigh. "Let me at least drive you to work." I seriously don't trust him driving. He could crash.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I sit on the couch, holding Ashlynn. Munchie and Mr. Frumper lie on the couch next to me. This is my life now. Don't get me wrong, I love Ashlynn and Ryan but I'm alone. Ryan and all my friends are at work, Ashlynn is too young to hold a conversation with, and Munchie and Mr. Frumper are cats. I'm completely alone....

Ashlynn finally falls asleep, so I go upstairs and place her in her crib. Now what? Laundry is done, bills are paid, house is clean, cats are fed. When's the last time I streamed something on Twitch? 

There's a knock at the front door. I answer and Olivia strolls in. "Can you believe Uncle gave me the day off? I'm so happy!" She cheers. "Now, where's my favorite niece?"

"She's asleep." I answer. "I'm so bored. I hate being home alone." I admit. We plop down on the couch.

"Well, here," She hands me a book. "I'm sure this will relieve some boredom."

I take the book and study the cover. "What's this?" The book was titled  _Letting Her Go_  by... Brendon Morris? Brendon? He got a book published? 

"This is what he's been up to." Olivia says. "He took his pain and turned it into a book. It's selling really well. If sales keep going up, I heard there may be a movie deal soon."

"That's... That's amazing! I'm so proud of him." I really mean it, but I can't help but feel a little jealous. Brendon is doing exactly what he wanted to do with his life. I wanted to be an actress and I'm sitting at home, alone with a baby and not even married. What do I have to show for my life right now?

"I haven't gotten to the end yet. I couldn't read it without getting... Upset." Olivia sounds... Disappointed? Why would she be disappointed? I shrug it off. I'm probably imagining things.

"I'll read through this later," I sigh. "Especially since Ryan is trying to get more hours at the office."

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know," I shrug. "I just know that I miss him. I rarely get to see him now."

"Maybe he's trying to save up for Ashlynn. For college and stuff." Olivia offers.

"I didn't think of that. Maybe that's it. All I know if he's trying to work more."

Olivia gets up. "I'm hungry. What do you have?" She helps herself to the fridge.

"Make what ever you want. But make me something, too." I shout to her as I inspect the back of the book. 

_What happens when you meet the love of your life... but your the reason she's shattered?_

I open the book and begin to read.

_She was the sunlight to end the night. I just didn't know it was her. Yet._

_Rika always was the one who pulled me out of that dark place. We met in grade school. Rika and her friend, Olive-_

"Olive?" I chuckle to myself.

"I know." Olivia says blankly. I continue to read.

_-took me in as their friend. For the first time, I wasn't a screw up. I was.... accepted...._

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Olivia went home, I bring Ashlynn to pick up Ryan from work. Instead of sitting in the passenger's seat, he sits in back.

"I really missed my little girl." He smiles sheepishly.

I shake my head. Once we get home, Ryan turns on the 360 and lays on the couch with Ashlynn on his chest. She instantly falls asleep. Ryan is the only one who can make her feel relaxed. She really loves her father.

"Ryan, what do you want for dinner?" I shout from the kitchen. No response. "Ryan?" I hear his game character get killed. Maybe he didn't hear me. "Ryan?" I peek my head in the living room. Ryan is fast asleep, snoring lightly. I smile. I turn off the 360, take Ashlynn off Ryan's chest, and drape a blanket over him.

I go upstairs and place Ashlynn in her crib. My phone vibrates. It's not a number I recognize. 

"Hello?" I answer once I reach my room.

"Hi, Riley." The voice is familiar. Brendon. "It's been awhile."

"It was finally happening," I begin to quote his book. "The moment I could only dream of was unfolding before me. Rika's body against mine, the softness of her skin-"

"You read it." I could almost imagine the blush on his face. "That was the night of our first time.How far did you get into the book?"

I recite the last thing I read. "I don't know what came over me. Rika picks herself up from the ground. "Enough, Brandon!" She cries. "Enough! I don't want you to hurt me anymore! I don't know why it had to end this way!" Rika sobs as she runs as far as her feet could carry her. I didn't stop her. I didn't want to harm her anymore. The light in her eyes had disappeared long ago and that was because of me."

"So you're about half way through." Brendon responds.

"Why?" I ask. "This is us. Why did you do this?"

"This.... was the only way I could think. That's how I've always been, right?"

"Yeah," I agree. "So what happens next?"

"You have to read the ending to find out." Brendon chuckles. "So, I heard you and Ryan had a baby. Congratulations."

"Thanks.... So... Are you okay now?"

"Am I over you? Yes. Am I okay? Not quite. But I will be." Brendon answers sadly.

"Well, do you have any idea what will make you happy again?"

"The answer is in the end of the story. I'm simply waiting for a certain someone to read it."

I nod. Now I really want to see the ending. "So this is your new number?"

"Yeah. You can call anytime you want."

"Thanks. I'm going to get reading." I smile. "Bye, Brendon. It's really good to hear from you."

Brendon pauses. "Same, Riley."

I hang up the phone. I'm not a very patient person. I flip to a random part of the book.

_"What are you doing here?" Olive says, gritting her teeth._

_"I'm here to talk to your uncle. I'm just turning in my transfer documents-"_

_"You're working here?!"_

_I don't understand. Why is she so angry?_

This must be the day Brendon came into our work place. I was hiding in Uncle Bradly's office. I flip ahead.

_"You're an idiot." Olive crosses her arms. "You came all the way back to California to see her?"_

_"It's not like that!" I insist. Why won't anyone believe me?_

_"Well," Olive continues. "You really need to let her go."_

This must be when Olivia was distracting Brendon. This was at the same time Ryan and I met Carolyn at the beach. I skip ahead near the end.

_"Hey, these short stories are really good. Are you going to publish them anywhere?" Olive asks, flipping through my personal journal._

_"Hey!" I scold, snatching it away. "That's private!"_

_"Then why did you invite me to your apartment? You knew I was going to snoop."_

_"I didn't invite you over! You just strolled in, crazy!" I shout._

_"Crazy?! I come visit you, compliment your work and you call me crazy?!  I'll show you crazy!" Olivia begins smacking my arm._

_"OW! Knock it off, you bitch!" But honestly, what did I expect? This is just typical Olive. Now that I think about it, why did I feel so happy when she complimented my work. Her opinion means nothing to me. She's a pain in the ass._

Hm? I wonder when this was? Olivia never mentioned going to Brendon's apartment. Also, I notice Olivia is getting mentioned a lot in this. I flip ahead.

_"You're running away?" Olive looks up at me, with sad eyes._

_"I'm not running away," I argue. "I'm getting over her! Like you said!"_

_"But you can't just leave my life again, Brandon!" Olive shouts._

What?!

_What did she mean? It's not like I left. They left me._

_"You're going to leave again," Olive repeats. "When you and Rika first started dating, I wanted to be happy for you. I ignored how I felt. Then you hurt my best friend! I could never forgive you! I'm not suppose to still feel this way about you...." Olive begins to tear up. She never cries in front of people. Ever. "When Rika and I moved, I thought I would be able to get over you. Then you showed up at our job. I wasn't angry at you for wanting to see Rika. I'm angry you decided to come back, and resurface everything I felt about you!"_

_"Olive.-" I try to comfort her._

_"Forget it! Pretend you didn't hear anything!"_

Did.... Did this really happen? I skip ahead to the end.

_This whole time, I didn't see. Rika wasn't the sunlight. Olive was. And now, that I've realized it too late, I'll never have that warmth in my life again._

WAIT! If this is true.... Then has Olivia liked Brendon this whole time....? And how could I not have noticed it?! All these years! I wonder, would Brendon still snap the way he did if he was with Olivia instead of me? Maybe that's it. What if Brendon was meant to be with Olivia, and I just stood in the way. Oh, how could I do this to her? I can't imagine what she must have went through. Watching your best friend be with someone you want....

But now that he's over me, maybe... Well, it's up to them now.

Ryan comes into the bedroom, yawning. "I fell asleep."

I chuckle. "I noticed." I put the book down and cuddle into Ryan's arms.

"Why are you being so lovey dovey right now?" Ryan asks. "I like it, but it's random. I though you were still mad at me for making you give birth to a human." Ryan smirks.

"I'm just.... happy that we have our live figured out." I smile. I have Ryan. I honestly believe I was meant to find him. No matter how I got here. Now, I trust fate will help Brendon and Olivia.


	35. A Never Ending Nightmare

"You need to get out more." Ryan insists. He sits on the floor next to me.

I give him a confused look. "Huh?" Ashlynn crawls into my lap. She's getting so big now. She's twenty-six weeks. We can hold a conversation now (Well, we can talk, and she'll make a noise).

"Not only have you lost a lot of sleep, you haven't had any Riley time since Ashlynn was born. Take the night off."

I think for a moment. "I can't just take then night off. This is a crucial time in Ashlynn's life. I need to be here for her!"

"Riley, it's one night. Go spend some time with Olivia. Make plans and go have a girl's night." Ryan pulls me and Ashlynn into his lap. "I love you and I want you to be happy." He cuddles us. "Just take one night off. Go have fun. I'll stay home with Ashlynn."

I sigh. "I will call Olivia and make a date. But if anything goes wrong, I want you to call me. Understand?" I wag my finger at him.

"You know what else I want you to do? Come back to work."

I pause. I look at Ashlynn and then back at Ryan. "Who will watch Ashlynn?"

"We can get a baby sitter!"

"For seven to eight hours a day? Not only is that expensive, I don't know if I want to have a stranger basically raise my daughter. I want to wait until she's a bit older before I go back to work."

"I understand. We all miss you in the office. And I miss you." Ryan plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Well, I can make videos from home. Maybe I'll talk to Geoff about that." I shrug.

"Okay, fine. You know what else you should do?" Ryan smirks.

"What, Ryan?" I sigh.

"We should put Ashlynn to bed early," He pauses to nip at my neck. "Go to bed a little early and, you know, not sleep."

"You trying to seduce me is the funniest thing right now." I giggle. "But it's working still. Unfortunately, You know Ashlynn won't go to bed early. The minute we leave her alone, she will cry until someone comes to see her."

"Damn," Ryan mumbles. "I'm getting cock blocked by my own kid. She's learning to much from her Aunt Livy."

I giggle, handing Ashlynn to him. "I'm going to call Olivia. I'll see when she's available."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Come here, Ashlynn!" Ryan kneels down to her.

"Da..." Ashlynn crawls into Ryan's arms.

I smile as I watch Ryan scoop her up.

"Hello." He kisses her nose. "You're with Daddy today!"

I gotta leave before this cuteness kills me. "I'll be back in about three hours."

"Honey, you don't have a time limit. Enjoy your time out. Say hi to Olivia for me." Ryan smiles. Ryan looks down at Ashlynn. "Mommy's leaving. Say bye bye!"

"Ga." Ashlynn grabs at Ryan's nose.

I giggle. "Bye, my loves." I close the door behind me. 

Nothing could ever prepare me for what would happen that day.

**Ryan's Point of View:**

I'm enjoying my time with Ashlynn, but Riley is late. Really late. I begin dialing Olivia's number. Maybe she lost track of time.

"Hello?" Olivia answers.

"Hi, Olivia. It's Ryan-"

"Oh! Ryan! How is Riley doing? Did she fall asleep or something?"

What? "Wha- what are you talking about? She left hours ago! She's not with you?!"

Olivia sounds confused. "She never showed up! I figured she was resting. I know how tired she's been lately."

"I've got to go! I need to find her!" I feel myself begin to panic. 

"Wait! I'm coming with you!" Olivia insists.

"I'll come get you. You're on the way to Geoff's house and that's where I'm going to drop off Ashlynn." I hang up the phone, instantly dialing Geoff.

"Hello?" Geoff answers.

"Geoff, I know it's last minute, but can you watch Ashlynn?"

"Wha-"

"It's an emergency!" I shout.

"Uh, yeah, buddy. Bring her right ov-" I hang up the phone. I don't have a moment to waste. Damn it, baby. Where are you?

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hop out the car with Ashlynn in my arms. Geoff rips open the front door before I reach him. "What's going on?!" He asks.

"Riley's missing."

"What?!" Geoff takes Ashlynn from my arms. He passes her to Griffon, who is standing close behind.

"Did you call the police?" Griffon offers.

"Can't. Have to wait 24 hours." I feel frantic. "I gotta go." I kiss Ashlynn's forehead and hand them her over night bag. Hopefully, she won't be there all night. But you never know...

"Call us when you hear something!" Geoff calls behind me as I rush to my car.

I jump back in. "I hate leaving her here." I sigh.

"You know I love Ashlynn, but she would need to be fed, changed and we would have to constantly stop for her. She would slow us down." Olivia reasons.

She's right. I just hate thinking that about my little girl.

We drive for what seems like hours. No sign of Riley.

"Ryan," Olivia clears her throat . "Maybe I should drive... You're in no condition to drive."

I didn't know how badly I was shaking. I was swerving in the lane.

"Y..yeah..." I mumble. I pull over and we switch spots. I keep an eye on my cell phone. Maybe.... Maybe she'll call.

On cue, the phone begins to ring. Hoping it's Riley, I answer. "Riley?!"

"Ryan," Sylvia's voice comes on the other line. "It's Riley's mother. I just got a call from Riley's phone. You need to get to the hospital. Fast. I'm on my way there now."

"Hospital..." I repeat. Before I could ask why, she hangs up.

"Who was that?" Olivia asks, not taking her eyes off the road.

"We need to get to the hospital....."

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We rush through the ICU, looking for the room Riley is placed in. Once we reach the room, I see her.... She... she doesn't even look like herself. Every inch of her is scraped up, there are blood soaked bandages on what I'm guessing are deep slashes, and her leg is propped up. A doctor is near her. "You must be Ryan." He says.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

The doctor smiles weakly. "I'm Dr. Cole. I've been taking care of Riley. The entire time, she's been slipping in and out of a coma, mumbling the names Ryan, Ashlynn, and Olivia. So then are you Ashlynn?" He asks Olivia.

"Coma...?" I reply weakly.

"I'm Olivia. Ashlynn is their daughter. What happened, Dr. Cole?"

He looks down and sighs before answering. "I don't have details, but from the looks of her, it was a bad accident. Her leg and rib cage are broken, she has some serious scrapes, a deep gash in her abdominal from a piece of metal, and her head is... well.... it's bashed up.... She's lost a lot of blood. We almost lost her a few times on the way to the hospital."

I pause... trying to comprehend all of this... "Is she.... is she going to live?" I ask.

The doctor freezes, debating on telling us the truth. "It could go either way. Right now, it's not looking good."

Why didn't I just make her stay home?

My eyes gaze over her. She.. doesn't even look real...

"Can we talk to her?!" Olivia steps forward.

Dr. Cole starts leaving the room. "She's in a coma state right now. She was just out of it a few minutes ago. Try talking to her."

Olivia goes right next to her side. She pulls up a chair. "Ri," She whispers. "It's me, Olivia. You really had us worried." Olivia tries to smile. "You have to wake up, honey buns. I need you to tell me when I'm being a spoiled little bitch. I need you here...." Olivia blinks back her tears. "Ryan is here. I'll... I'll give you a few moments with him..." She sniffles and runs out of the room. I know Olivia. She hates crying in front of people

I sit in Olivia's seat, pulling the chair closer to Riley. "Baby," I lean over her, whispering into her ear. "Hey. Ashlynn and I had fun today. She got into the flour jar. It was really cute." I chuckle. "You have to see the pictures I took.

Get up.

"Oh, guess what? Tabby called! She wanted to see when we wanted to come over to their place. We should give them an answer soon." I continue.

Please get up.

I place my hand over hers. "Hospitals are so depressing. I bet you can't wait to get out of here." my voice cracks. I feel my composure being to unravel. I can't keep this front anymore. "You... you gotta come home soon. I made your favorite for dinner. Lasagna. Doesn't that sound yummy? You gotta get up so we can eat."

Please.... I beg of you...

"Baby..." My vision blurs. My act is quickly disintegrating. "You have to wake up... Please... You need to wake up...." I rub her hand. I examine it. What's wrong with this picture? Why is she still missing a ring? Why haven't I proposed yet? After all this time, I never thought to ask her to marry me?  "Baby... I need you... You... you can't leave..." I begin to sob. 

Please don't leave me....

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's a knock at the door. I jolt awake. I'm still holding on to Riley's hand.

Ray is standing in the doorway. " Hey," He offers a weak smile. "How is she?"

"What are you doing here?" I rub my eyes.

"Geoff sent out a text to the company. Everyone is really worried about her." 

"Wait, how did you get in here? It's family only."

"I said I was her brother." Ray smiles proudly and sits in the chair next to me.

"Wow, you left the apartment for the second time this year? How does that feel?" I smile lightly, trying to hide how terrified I am.

"Well, you know. I know you all would do the same for me," Ray shrugs. "So... Can she hear us?"

I nod. 

Ray scoots his chair forward. "Hey, it's Ray. People are getting a bit worried, Riley. I mean, look, I left my apartment to come see you." Ray waits for a response. Nothing. "Well, you have to wake up. We gotta talk about the new games coming out! I know we haven't really talked much before but.... I'm sorry. We can make up for that now, right? Just as soon as you wake up."

Riley doesn't respond. Ray sighs. "Sorry, I must be making an ass of myself. I was just thinking on the cab ride here that she must think I hated her or something. We never talked. And we work together."

"She never thought that," I assure him. "She knew you were quiet and shy. She never had a negative thing to say about you."

Tabby and Gavin bustle in. "Any change?" Tabby rushes to her side. Tabby's cheek were wet from tears. The look on Gavin's face was solemn.

Geoff and Griffon followed with Ashlynn. "I have an idea!" Geoff shouts. "If we place Ashlynn near her, maybe Riley will wake up from hearing her baby babble!"

"It's a mother's intuition!" Griffon nods.

"How are you all getting in here?!" I ask, looking around as Jack and his wife, Caiti walk in.

"I said I was her sister, and I said Gavin is my husband." Tabby says. Gavin's lips twitch into a smile. I'm sure Gavin loves the idea of being fake married to Tabby. If Riley was awake, she would ask me when they're going to get married.

"I'm her father and Griffon is her step mom. And her little sister, Lori is waiting in the hallway because she could stand to see her big sis in this state." Geoff raises his hand. I don't bother asking why he got so detailed with his story.

"We just walked in. No one stopped us." Jack shrugged.

Riley, if you could see what people have done to see you.... 

A nurse peeks her head in. "I'm sorry, but we can't have this many people in a room. I know this is difficult, but can we only have three people max. You can all wait in the waiting room." 

Geoff hands Ashlynn to me as people start to filter out. The nurse leaves.

Eric suddenly runs into the room. "Riley!" He shouts. 

He tries to jump on the bed, I block him. "No, bud. Don't do that." I realize he's crying. "It's okay, Eric. She's going to be fine." My voice cracks. I refuse to cry in front of my kids. I have to stay strong for them.

"Daddy." He sobs and slings onto my shirt. I've never seen Eric cry. He's always been a strong kid.

Sara wanders in. "So, how's she doing now?" She holds out her hands, offering to hold Ashlynn. I hand her over and crouch down to Eric, hugging him.

"She's not waking up." I answer.

Sara nods and remains silent. 

"She's going to wake up any moment. I know it." I insist.

"James," Sara says silently. She never calls me James. Unless it's serious..... "I hate to be negative, but you should probably prepare yourself for the worst."

"Eric, go find Millie. She's in the waiting room with everyone else." I usher him away. I don't want him to hear this conversation. I wait for him to leave the room. "Why the fuck would you say that?!"

"Ryan, I know you. If something happens to her, you wouldn't be able to take it."

"I don't have to prepare for anything! She's fine!" I growl. "She's going to wake up! She's just a little injured right now!"

Sara sighs. "Look at her. It looks pretty serious."

"You're wrong. She'll be fine." I don't know who I'm trying to convince anymore.

"I really hope I am wrong, Ryan." She sniffles. "But if it does happen, just know we are all here for you." She says as she leaves the room. I go back to my rightful seat next to her bed. I study her. Given the situation, she looks so... peaceful.

Riley... You have to wake up...

 


	36. Finale

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I usually don't do this, but the a song that fits the chapter is Open Water by Blessthefall. I listened to it the whole time I wrote the last two chapters. If you're interested, give the song a listen as you read.

**Ryan's Point of View:**

I can't say how much time has passed. I never leave Riley's side. People from work cycle in and out of the room. All the Achievement Hunters are here now. None of them have left the hospital unless it was for food, or to run to the store to get things for Ashlynn.

I'm sitting on the floor with Ashlynn. I watch as she plays with all the toys people bought for her. They didn't want her to be bored. My poor baby doesn't understand that she might possibly lose her mother.

Olivia knocks on the door before entering. "Ryan? They ordered pizza in the waiting room. Maybe you should go get a slice."

I shake my head. How could I eat at a time like this?

"It's been about two days. You haven't eaten anything." Olivia insists. "You haven't slept much, either. You're starting to look like a raccoon."

There's another knock at the door. Olivia and I turn our attention to Brendon, standing in the door way.

"Hey," His eyes shift to Riley. "How is she doing?" We remain silent as he makes his way to her.

"She's slowly getting worse..." Olivia finally speaks. 

"That's crazy... We were play Xbox live just a few days ago. How did this happen?"

"It was my fault..." I mumble.

Olivia and Brendon look to me with blank expressions. "That's not true!" Olivia insists. "You didn't know this was going to happen-"

"But she left the house because of me, right?" I cut her off. "If I didn't make her take a day off, she would be at home, safe and sound. Am I wrong?!" I raise my voice. Ashlynn begins to whimper. I turn my attention to her. "Oh, no. It's okay. Don't cry. Daddy's got you." I pick her up.

"We should go in the hallway," Brendon ushers Olivia out of the room. "Sylvia is waiting to come in."

Good. Let her come in. Give me all the blame I deserve.

Sylvia passes Brendon and Olivia. Instead of yelling at me, she walks straight to Riley. "Yeah, this is familiar," her voice wavers. "Isaac went the same way. Car accident, rushed to the hospital, in a coma for four days before finally giving up." She strokes Riley's hair. "I don't want that. I can't go through that again. If she doesn't wake up, I'll be completely alone. Is that selfish of me to say?"

"No," I say softy.

"I love my daughter. We never saw eye to eye, but I can't bare the thought of losing her. I'm not ready to let her go. She has to live, Ryan." Sylvia takes Ashlynn from my arms. "Hello, sweetheart. Come give Grandma a hug." She hugs Ashlynn tightly. "How are you doing with this, Ryan?"

I think for a moment. No one has really asked me that question, so I don't know how to respond. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to prevent tears from falling. It doesn't work.

"You can't blame yourself," She whispers. "I can't say I know exactly how your feeling, but I think I know what your thinking. It wasn't your fault. When Rob passed away, I thought it was my fault. I did nothing but blame myself. Don't be like me. Some things.... Just happen..."

I silently sob to myself. I said I was going to protect her, and I failed. How could I not blame myself?

Carolyn, the last person I expected to see, peeks in. "Yo." She walks in. "Wow, she's.... not looking so good..."

Oh, really? Do continue.

"Come," Carolyn waves. "Let's get some pizza in our systems and get Ashlynn out of this room. The kid needs a good laugh."

Michael, Lindsay and Geoff step in. "We will watch her. Seriously, Ryan. Rest for a bit. You look like you're about to keel over and die." Geoff pats my back.

I nod. I don't want to leave her alone, but I'm starting to feel my stomach rumble. I really haven't eaten in days. Maybe just one slice....

I go to Riley's bed before I leave. "Baby," I whisper in between kisses. "I'm stepping out for a moment. I'll be right back. Don't leave me. You promised, remember?"

She lays there, no response. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Everyone we know and love is here, Riley. Waiting to see you. Griffon and Gavin are sitting on the couch, trying to comfort a sobbing Tabby. Seriously, Riley, she hasn't stopped crying. Barbara, Kara, and Gus (yeah, Gus is here) are standing around the pizza boxes, trying to keep conversation going, trying to lift everyone's spirits. Olivia is sitting near Brendon, holding hands as he whispers to comfort her. I've never seen her this low. But on the bright side, they might get together. That's what you wanted, right? You have to wake up and see that. Your mom is holding Ashlynn, like it's her only baby left. You can't leave her. Burnie and Ashley are about to step out. They're asking if anyone wants more food, drinks, or anything like that. Eric is sitting on Sara's lap, crying. Lori is keeping him company. It's good to see he's making friends. Your friends, Abbey, Terry, and Gabe are here. Carolyn is here, too. Look Riley, look at all the people that came to see you. We filled an entire private waiting room just to see you. I'm begging you. Please, wake up....

Michael rushes into the room with Geoff and Lindsay behind him. "Ryan!" He pants. "It's Riley! The doctors pushed us out! Her vitals were dropping!" 

I sprint out of the room before he could finish. I need to see her. I should not have left her side! I rush down the hall. before I could run into the room, nurses block my path. "You can't! The doctor's are working! They're trying to help her!"

"I need to be there! I need her to hear my voice! Maybe she'll wake up!" I can't hold anything back. I can't stop myself from crying. I don't care who sees. I just need to be in there with her!

"Ryan!" Geoff Loops his arms around mine, holding me back. "Jack, help me out!"

I feel another set of hands grab my arms. I look past the nurses. A team of doctors are wheeling Riley out of the room. "Where are they taking her?!" I shout.

"Mr. Haywood, they're taking her to the operating room. They are going to do everything they can to help her-"

"Let me see her!" I struggle, but Geoff and Jack drag me away. "NO! Let me go! Let me go NOW!"

"Ryan, please! They're doing everything they can!" Jack shouts.

"Let's go sit and wait, okay? Ashlynn is wondering where her daddy went." Geoff coaxes me to calm down.

Ashlynn...

I let them guide me back to the room. Riley.....

**Riley's Point of View:**

It's like I've been snapped from a day dream. Where am I? I'm in my house. This is me and Ryan's room. I thought I was hanging out with Olivia. What happened? I hear laughter down stairs. I get up to investigate. Mom is sitting in the living room.... Next to Dad and Isaac. I know that Dad and Isaac are dead. So why do I feel calm enough to approach them?

"Riley!" Isaac smiles. "Come have a shot with your brother! We're finally old enough!" He raises a glass. "We don't have to sneak it from Dad's alcohol cabinet, like we did when we were younger!"

"That was you two?!" Dad laughs. "You guys are assholes!"

"Robert!" Mom playfully hits him.

"What?! They're adults now. I can swear around them." He chuckles. "Come sit with us!"

Instead of questioning why they're here, I sit down next to Isaac. The familiar old scent of soap and pine. The smell has always been a comfort to me.

We talk and laugh, just like when I was younger. I feel so relaxed... so at peace. I never want this to end.

"You have a lovely home, Riley! I'm glad you could have us all over!" Mom smiles. "It will be a shame when we have to leave."

"You can stay!" I blurt out. "All of you! We have the guest room and we can turn the basement into a room. It will be great! We can all stay here." I really don't want them to leave.

"Riley? You don't mind?" Dad tilts his head.

"I never want you to leave!" I insist. "We can all be a family again!" I begin to tear up. We have to stay like this.

"Riles," Isaac gives me a heartfelt smile. "Things don't last forever."

What are you saying? "It can! That's why you're here, right?! You're here to stay!"

"We're here," Dad adds. "Because it's time for you to decide what you want to do." Dad says, placing a hand on Isaac's shoulder. Isaac nods in agreement.

"We would love for you to stay," Isaac says. "But I would hate to see you quit so early. I don't think it's time for you to come here yet."

_"Baby, I'm stepping out for a moment. I'll be right back. Don't leave me. You promised, remember?"_

That voice.... Ryan?

I look around. I don't see him anywhere.

"Are you ready to leave that life behind?" A voice says from the kitchen.

/\\_____/\\_____/\\_____/\\_____/\\_____/\

I spin around. It's Ryan, holding Ashlynn in his arms. "Ryan..." I jump from the couch and run to him.

/\\___/\\___/\\___/\\___/\\___/\\___/\\___/\

"What do you want to do, Riley?" Ryan asks. "You can stay here and leave him behind-" He pauses.

_"I need to be there! I need her to hear my voice! Maybe she'll wake up!"_

_"Ryan! Jack, help me out!"_

_"Where are they taking her?!"_

_"Mr. Haywood, they're taking her to the operating room. They are going to do everything they can to help her-"_

_"Let me see her! NO! Let me go! Let me go NOW!"_

"Or you can go back." Ryan finishes his thought.

"So, what is this?" I ask. "Is this heaven or something?"

"No, my love. This is a dream." Ryan answers. "But you can choose to stay in this dream, for as long as you want."

/\\__/\\__/\\__/\\__/\\__

Ryan hands Ashlynn to my Mom. He touches my cheek. "You can stay, or you can go home. It's completely up to you." He draws me in for a kiss. "How did that feel?"

"Real." I answer. "I'm confused...."

/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_

"You need to make a decision." Ryan says, before pressing his lips against mine.

_"Crap! We're losing her!"_

_"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? She was fine about an hour ago!"_

_"Hang in there! Maybe we can pull this off! Keep working!"_

_"Vitals are dropping fast!"_

/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\

_"That's a very masculine name."_

_"I find you... interesting."_

_"We should do nothing together."_

_"Mark my words. One day, you're going to fall for me."_

_"I don't think I ever told you how beautiful you are."_

_"I have you and that's all I need."_

_"I'm going to make promise to you. I promse that as long as I can help it, you will never get hurt. I'll protect you with everything I have. I'll be there for you no matter what problem you have. I'll be there to support you."_

_"Because I'm in love with you. Isn't that obvious? I don't want to go through this crap with anyone else. You are stuck with me. Are you okay with that?"_

_"Let them hear. Everyone will know you're mine."_

_"You came into my life at a perfect time. If I didn't meet you, I would still be miserable. I remember the moment I first saw you. For the first time since Sara left me, I felt hope. I didn't care about being alone. And then I met you. You made me realize how lonely I was. I owe so much to you. I don't care about all the shit we go through. It's all worth it. I love you, Riley."_

/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\_/\\__________________________________

_"Hey, let's make a promise. We will always be here for each other. You won't be raising her alone. I just need to know that you won't leave me. Promise? Then that means your not allowed to die. Ever."_

_________________________________________________/\\______/\\______/\

**Ryan's Point of View:**

I pace to room, cuddling Ashlynn in my arms. It seems like forever. Is this ever going to end? 

A doctor enters the waiting room. Every one springs to their feet."Mr. Haywood," He motions me to follow him. I rush behind him, holding Ashlynn close.

Riley is back in her room. She cracks open an eye. "R...Ryan?" She says with a cracked voice.

"Riley!" I cry out with joy. I run to her. She tries to sit up and she winces. "Don't move! You got out of some pretty serious surgery!"

"What happened?" She asks. Her voice is small and weak.

"That doesn't matter now," I whisper, caressing her cheek. "You're going to be okay."

I set Ashlynn on the bed. "Mama." She giggles as she grasps Riley's finger.

She's okay... This terrible nightmare is over...

**One Year Later: Riley's Point of View**

I only recall a weird dream while I was in a coma. I'm not sure if that's what really saved me, or was it just a bizarre dream. 

"Riley! Let's go!" Ryan shouts up the steps.

"Hold on!" I shout back. I make my way down the steps. Olivia and Brendon are waiting in the living room. "You two better not screw each other in this house." I warn. "Do your jobs and watch Ashlynn. She's a sneaky little devil."

"Bye bye!" Ashlynn smiles and waves.

"Bye bye, my little Angel!" I kiss her hand. 

Ryan picks her up and kisses her forehead. "Are you going to be good for Auntie Livy and Uncle Brendon?"

"Be good to Auntie Livy." She repeats.

Olivia glares at Ryan. "I seriously hate that you taught her that. It's horrible!"

"Nah, it's great." Ryan smirks as we leave the house.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why are we at the park?" I question as he opens to car door for me.

"I thought we could use a little exercise after dinner."

"I can think of a better way to lose some calories." I wiggle my eyebrows at him.

"That's later tonight," He smiles mischievously. We walk a little further into the park, holding hands. "Remember this? This is where we first walked together."

"Willow Parks? I remember." I nod. "I was so stubborn back then."

"Yeah," He agrees. "You were. But I wouldn't have it any other way. You see, drama is our style. And it's only made our relationship stronger throughout the two and a half years we've been together."

"Yeah, what's your point?" I continue walking.

Ryan stops and releases my hand. I turn back to give him a confused look. Ryan is down on one knee. "Ryan?" My eyes widen. "What-"

Ryan snaps his fingers and... nothing happens. He snaps again. "God damn it," He mumbles under his breath. "THAT WAS THE SIGNAL! YOU ARE ALL GOING IN THE HOLE!" Ryan screams.

"Oh! Now!" I hear voices in the bushes rush around.

Suddenly, the park is illuminated with torches. Ryan's blue eyes sparkle in the fire light. "I never thought I would want to go through this again. But I do. You showed me that my life didn't end after Sara left. I love you and I want us to be a family. Me, you, and Ashlynn. Riley Anne Thomas, will you marry me?"

Shocked, I cover my mouth with my hands. He's proposing? I feel my eyes begin to water.

Ryan, still on one knee, with a ring in his hands, starts looking nervous. "No pressure or anything, but I'm seriously freaking out... So...."

"Oh, God! Sorry! Of course, Ryan! Yes!" I leap in his arms.

"Got it on film!" Gavin runs out of the bushes with his camera. "This will make a great RT: Life."

The rest of the Achievement Hunter's pop out of the bushes. "Glad you said yes! We put so much work into this. Congratulations, you guys!" Geoff smiles. "But I hated being the camera crew while Gavin handled the camera. He went a little power hungry."

"What's with the torches?" I ask, wiping away some tears.

"They're electronic torches. They light up when you press a button. See?" Ray clicks the remote a few times. The torches short circuit and stop working. "Oops. I guess you're not getting that deposit back, Ryan."

Ryan sighs. "That's fine. She said yes. That's all I care about." Ryan looks lovingly into my eyes.

"We're going to... uh, go now." Michael says awkwardly as every one begins to pack up.

"See ya' at work. Thanks again, guys." Ryan waves.

Once they pull the torches from the ground and leave, Ryan look back at me. "Here's to a new life together?"

I nod. "I can't wait to see what else the world has in store for us." I smile. "Bring it on, universe. Do your worst!"

Ryan wraps his arms around my waist. "I can do anything with my family by my side. I love you." He whispers before drawing me in for a slow kiss.


	37. ALTERNATE ENDING: All Around Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week after Riley's death and Ryan can still feel her near. Now it's the day of her funeral. Can he face reality and say goodbye?

I was never an emotional guy. It used to be very rare to get any kind of reaction out of me. That all changed when I met Riley.

Today was the day and I certainly didn’t want to get up. If I didn’t, who would get Ashlynn ready and take her? Just because I’m selfish, doesn’t mean my daughter should be denied the chance to say her final goodbye. I have to go. I’ve been dreading this moment all week. 

I open my eyes to face the empty side of the bed. It all still seems like a dream. I can almost still feel her in the room, the faint scent of vanilla, her red hair sprawled out on the pillow, the small sound of her snore as she sleeps. On a morning like this, I would sneak out of bed before she wakes up to make us breakfast. Knowing her, if she made us food, she would burn the house down. I don’t bother this morning. There’s no rush. There’s no one I have to beat to the kitchen. But, just for the hell of it, I want things to feel normal. I rise out of bed, bones creaking. I wait to hear an “old man” joke, but one never comes.

Once I’m in the kitchen, I start preparing for chocolate chip pancakes. I set a can of whipped cream for Riley. I remember how much she loved them that way. Cooking almost feels comforting. Making Riley’s favorite breakfast makes me feel like she’s still here.

I pour the mixture into the skillet, flipping the pancakes once they’re golden brown. By now, the smell would have attracted Riley and she would be standing behind me in the kitchen.

“Good morning, Ryan!” She would say while yawning.

“Good morning, my love.” I answer to an empty kitchen.

After everything is done. I set the table for two. I place the food in front of Riley’s chair. I stare at the empty spot. I don’t bother fixing myself any. I just don’t have the strength to eat. 

I hear Ashlynn begin to cry. I suppose it’s about time to feed her and get her ready. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I hold Ashlynn tightly in my arms. I sit in far back as possible. I don’t want to see it. I can’t see it. If I see it, it becomes real.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. “I think you’re sitting in the wrong place.” I turn my head to look up at Geoff. “You don’t belong in the back. You need to be up front. That’s where Riley wants you to be.”

I shake my head. “I can’t.” I answer, blankly.

“This is it, Ryan,” Geoff says in a caring tone. “It’s rough. We’re all here for you. You need to do whatever you feel like you need to do. But don’t hold it in. It will only get worse for you. Today is the day to let it all out.”

My body stiffens. I don’t want to sit up front. I’m not ready to face this reality. 

I feel a tug on my sleeve. I look in my arms. Ashlynn is trying to get my attention. “Da.” She looks up at me. I don’t want to be up front, but I have to do this for her. I stand up and make my way to the front. I feel all eyes on me as I approach the front.

There she is.

I rush to my seat, trying not to look at her. People stand around the casket, blocking my view. Good. I’m not ready. But now she’s in front of me. It’s hard to ignore.

I should be standing up there, too. I should be there with Olivia, Sylvia, and some other Rooster Teeth members. But I can’t. I just can’t.

Please, someone just wake me up now. I’ve had enough of this never ending nightmare.

I cuddle Ashlynn close to my chest. She’s the only one keeping me together right now. Without her, I’d break down.

“Today, we celebrate to life of our loved one, Riley Anne Thomas.”

I didn’t realize everyone took their seats. Maybe it’s not too late to run

“Riley was born November 17, 1992. She’s the daughter of Robert Thomas, now passed, and Sylvia Thomas. She was a sister to Isaac Demetri Thomas, also passed. She slipped away from us peacefully in a coma at the age of twenty three years old.”

I can’t do this.

“Riley was a very kind woman. She always believed the best in people and was never afraid to talk to new people. She was a wonderful mother to her daughter, Ashlynn.”

Just stop torturing me.

I feel Ashlynn being taken from my arms. “- Sylvia would like to say a few words.” The man giving the speech steps down, allowing Sylvia to step up, Ashlynn tucked in her arms.

She took my baby from me. Now how am I supposed to stay strong?

“I remember when Riley was just a baby.” Sylvia holds Ashlynn close. “I used to hold her close like this. I never wanted to let her go…. I never thought I would be the last one to survive in my family… I would easily take her place if I could….Riley left this world too soon… It happened so fast-”

I need to leave. Now.

I stand to leave. I feel dizzy the moment I stand. I sit back down. This isn’t real. She’s not really gone.

It feels like I just blinked and Olivia is now at the stand.

“-We’ve been best friends for years. That friendship won’t die with her. Even though Riley isn’t physically here, I’m going to remember her. I’m going to continue to laugh, and make stupid jokes. The only difference is she won’t be here to keep my spoiled ass in line. I need her. But I suppose this is the time I grow up and look after myself. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Riley. You were always there for me and you never gave up on me. I owe so much to you. If only there was a way to repay you.”

I can’t think straight. Tears begin brimming my eyes. How have I made it in this far without crying? How am I supposed to live the rest of my life without her?

“Would anyone else like to say a few words?” The man is back at the stand. He’s addressing the crowd, but he’s looking at me. I don’t stand. I hold in my tears. After a few moments of silence, the service was over. One by one, people got up and passed by the casket. I stay frozen in my seat.

Sylvia and Olivia were the first to look at the casket. Sylvia held Ashlynn near the casket. She reached in and touched Riley’s hand. “Ma.”

Ashlynn’s too young to understand now. She thinks she’s sleeping. She thinks she’s going to see her later. It never crossed her mind that this is the final time she would see her mother.

“They’ll take the body whenever you’re ready.” Geoff places a hand on my shoulder. He leaves the room. The room cleared out faster than I can think. I’m the last one. 

I remain frozen in my chair. She’s right there. Why can’t she just get up? I finally stand, to get a better look. I slowly approach the casket.

Riley lays in the casket, the color drained from her skin. I can tell they tried to apply makeup to add color, but that’s not the way Riley does her makeup. Honestly, I think she would hate what they did to her. If she could, she would snatch the makeup away and shout, “Let me do it! You have no fucking idea what you’re doing!” Personally, I still think she looks beautiful. There isn’t a thing on this planet that could make me think otherwise.

I reach my hand into the casket and I brush my fingertips across her cheek. She’s cold. I tuck some of her hair behind her ear. The room is starting to get blurry. My eyes are starting to sting.

Tears drip onto her charcoal colored dress.

“I’m actually really mad at you,” I choke back a sob. It hurts holding this in. I feel pressure in my throat. “You got the easy part. You left us alone to deal with this pain.” I place my hand over hers. “Do you remember when we first met? The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew I had to be with you. I know I told you this already. I just want you to know that my life had no meaning and then I met you. I want to go back and relive every single moment. I want to go back and see you for the first time again. I want to experience you staying the night for the first time again. Damn it, I just want you back in my life…..” I take a deep breath. Tears are starting to flow faster. “What am I supposed to do without you? I can’t get you out of my head.” My body beings to shake as I sob. “I don’t want to keep living in a world that I can’t wake up to her face. I can’t. I can’t. I just can’t. Don't make me feel that again. Don’t make me go on without you.” I beg. “Please, just wake me up. Tell me this is just a bad dream. I want to wake up next to you and just cuddle you and never let you go. Just please….” I’m no long in control of my emotions, my body, or my actions. I fall to my knees, sobbing, and one hand on the casket.

I never thought this would happen to us. Our time together was so short, but I know our love was strong. I never wanted to imagine a world without her and now I’m living that hell.

I pick myself off the ground, eyes still streaming tears. “I love you. And I wish you were still with us. If it wasn’t for Ashlynn, I’m not sure I would even still want to be here. But our baby needs me. God, Riley. I’m not ready to let you go…. I don’t think I ever will…. I guess this is it. This is our final goodbye…..” I bend down in the casket and place a final kiss on her forehead. “I love you. God, I wish you could hear me say it.”

I slowly drop the lid of the casket, getting one final look at the love of my life. 


End file.
